The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 04.06.91

The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 04.06.91

Originally written 01.20.26

Taped from Dothan, AL via a monster TV taping on 03.11.91 before the crew went to Japan to the Supershow deal I reviewed a few months back. At least taping a month of shows in advance means that they’ll actually deliver the matches they advertise the week before.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Gordon Solie

BREAKING NEWS: Grizzly Smith, who is acting as figurehead for the promotion at this point and would make Jeffrey Epstein go “Whoa, that guy is kind of a piece of shit”, announces that the US tag team titles are vacant, so the Freebirds are facing the Young Pistols for the belts at Superbrawl because we haven’t seen enough of that match in the past year already and we might as well just make it for a belt this time.

Sid Vicious & Stan Hansen v. David Isley & Keith Hart

Oh man this was on a Hidden Gems deal on the Vault fairly recently, wasn’t it? The heels beat Isley down and then Hansen tosses Keith Hart to the floor like a sack of shit, and back in for some choking before Sid hits a double axehandle off the middle rope, miraculously not shattering his ankle this time. Keith takes a magnificent bump off that by itself, and then Sid backdrops him and he goes INTO THE LIGHTS, and that inspires Stan to drop him right on his fucking head with a backdrop driver. And then Sid folds him in half with a powerbomb at 2:37 and THIS MATCH FUCKING RULED. Keith Hart is an S-level jobber. Stan puts Isley on the stretcher and then Sid presses Hart onto him, at which point Keith bounces off the poor fucker and lands on his face on the floor. YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP SELLING ME ON THIS MATCH. Million billion stars.

The Natural Dustin Rhodes v. Mike Thor

We get an inset from Dustin as well, and he’s tired of Stan Hansen calling his daddy a yellow dog when that’s clearly untrue. Everyone knows Dusty was the Midnight Rider, and the Yellow Dog was Barry Windham. Dustin dropkicks Thor out of the ring and back in to work the arm with boring arm stuff. Sticking Dustin in a long term team with Barry Windham was a genius move so they could let him learn and grow. Dustin with a lariat out of the corner and the Bulldog finishes at 2:24.

Meanwhile, we take yet another look at Nikita attacking Lex at Wrestlewar and doing his promo. For as much as they pushed this feud week after week here I’m still confused why they didn’t do a match at Superbrawl. Was Sting & Luger v. The Steiners THAT important? Also Gordon calls it a “total Pearl Harbor job” by Koloff, which wasn’t actually a Russian attack but Gordon was probably drunk anyway.

Rick Steiner v. John Douglas

Rick destroys the geek with a variety of clotheslines and then finishes with a belly to belly off the middle rope at 1:30.

El Gigante joins Tony and speaks some Spanish. Good for him. Bueno for him?

Owen Hart v. Rip Rogers

Rip is introduced as “222 and a half pounds” which is delightful for some reason. Owen gets a pair of rollups on Rip as he continues his bizarre two week detour through WCW in 1991 and then never returns. Rip gets a shot on the ropes, but Owen hiptosses him and dropkicks him out of the ring, working a far more pedestrian style than his debut last week. Back in the ring, Owen works the arm and hits Rip with an atomic drop as Rogers is overselling everything and doing his best but they’re not clicking here. Owen with the enzuigiri, but Rip slugs away in the corner, so Owen flips over him and hits a belly to belly before dropkicking Rip to the floor and following with a tope. Owen dropkicks him again out there and finishes with the flying bodypress at 4:25. This felt very subdued by Owen’s standards and the histrionics of Rip Rogers weren’t a good match for him.

Meanwhile, Ric Flair and Barry Windham do their promo about Ricky Morton & Tommy Rich and make up a backstory about technical wrestling prowess or whatever.

Ricky Morton & Tommy Rich v. Ric Flair & Barry Windham

This would have been a hell of a main event even 5 years before. The Horsemen quickly isolate Morton and start beating on him with chops from Flair, but Ricky fights back and backdrops Ric. Ric gets pinballed in the babyface corner and bails to the floor. Back in, Flair and Morton slug it out again and this time it’s a Flair Flip into a punch from Rich on the apron, as they’re pulling out all the old spots. Over to Barry as the babyfaces continue to shine and double-team him with more comedy spots. We take a break and return with Rich continuing to run wild on Windham with a middle rope elbow. Back to Flair and Tommy batters him in the corner and Ricky drops a fist. But then Ricky gets double-teamed, so he lets Tommy have another go at it and Rich immediately blows it. Flair drops a knee on him and Windham flies in with a lariat in a nice visual before Flair chokes Rich on the ropes. Barry slugs away from the floor while Morton writes strongly worded letters to the referee in protest. Rich comes back with a backslide on Flair, but Windham runs Tommy into the post and knocks him back into the rail headfirst in a nice bump. Luckily he didn’t injure anything vital. So then Big Josh comes out and helps Tommy back to the dressing room, leaving Ricky Morton to fight alone as the fans chant “We want Sting”. But instead they get his Argentinian non-union equivalent, El Gigante, and he tags himself in, puts Flair in the claw, and then Sid runs in for the DQ at 9:40. OK this was a hell of a match before the stupid finish. ***. Man they rushed to put that World title back on Flair after Sting bombed and it turned out that they didn’t have shit for HIM to do as champion, either. No wonder he left.

Tom Zenk v. Hacksaw Higgins

Ah, Hacksaw Higgins, now there’s a name I have not heard from in a long time. Zenk takes him down with a couple of armdrags and a backdrop, and then pus Higgiins on the floor with a pair of dropkicks off a slam. Higgins stops to point to his head to indicate intelligence, although he hasn’t actually done anything smart to warrant that boast yet. Back in the ring, Zenk with the superkick and he goes up and finishes with a missile dropkick at 3:20.

Next week: Terrence Taylor v. Big Josh! The six man champs defend against the State Patrol! Man I’m gonna start downloading that episode already because it sounds like I’m gonna need 7 or 8 gigabytes of bandwidth to contain all the excitement!