The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 01.05.97

The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 01.05.97

OK, we’re doing this. Time to explore the wacky world of the Disney tapings of WCW. Like honestly I’m just here for the random crazy matchups.

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Bobby Heenan

Billy Kidman v. Jimmy Graffiti

We are well before the Flock for Kidman. Everyone always forgets about Jimmy Del Rey getting repackaged into street smart Jimmy Graffiti at this time, BUT I REMEMBER. Young hoodlum Jimmy slugs Kidman down while Bobby and Tony discuss the impending Souled Out PPV, and Jimmy gets a clothesline for two. Now I don’t want to accuse anyone of intellectual property theft, but Graffiti is wearing jorts and a loose fitting oversized shirt and that’s AWFULLY familiar. Jimmy misses a legdrop and Kidman goes up with a flying bodypress for two and a back elbow to set up a bulldog out of the corner for two. Another try is blocked and Graffiti goes up with a somersault senton cannonball for the pin at 3:27. He’s such a no good vandal! I bet he’s gonna go spraypaint “Obey the Rules” on the dressing room walls after the match. I did not hate this match.

Disco Inferno v. Ron Thompson

Disco takes him down and works a hammerlock, but Thompson reverses to a top wristlock. Look, I can’t take this Thompson guy seriously because he’s got mismatched kneepad colors and there’s no coming back from that. Ron with a powerslam for two, but Disco puts him down with a backdrop suplex, but he tries his fancy new leglock and can’t apply it, allowing Thompson to cradle him for two. You have to love that Disco was so inept and stupid, in KAYFABE mind you, that he couldn’t even do his own finisher properly. Disco chokes him out on the ropes and drops an elbow, but he tries a monkey flip and gets cradled again for two. But Thompson misses a dropkick and this time Disco gets his standing figure-four after a couple of tries, and that finishes at 3:22. I did not hate this match either.

Meanwhile, Lee Marshall runs down 1996 in general and chats with the Nasty Boys, who see bright things ahead in 1997! Yeah about that. Pretty much while this show was airing, they were getting messed up by the Outsiders in a house show match that ended their WCW career.

Juventud Guerrera & Psicosis v. The Southern Posse

The Posse are the least cowboy looking dudes I’ve ever seen in wrestling. Could we not get these guys some chaps or something? The Mexicans work Sonny Trout over in the corner and Juvy comes in with a giant leg lariat for two. Juvy gets cut off by the other guy, who is apparenly Rick Thames, like the river, and a legdrop gets two. Psicosis comes in and hits Thames with a DDT and Juvy hits him with a terrifying 450 that doesn’t quite make it 450 degrees, for the pin at 3:11, which can only be the Valvoline High Performance of the Week.

Alex Wright v. Casey Thompson

Is Casey any relation to Ron from earlier in the show? Casey works the arm, but Alex jumps up into a leg lariat and hits him with a back suplex. Thompson with a corner clothesline, but Alex flips over him and hits a gut wrench for two. Slingshot splash gets two. Thompson uses the CLUBBING FOREARMS to get some offense on Wright and puts him down with an elbow. Bobby goes on a whole thing about how Thompson used to be a pilot and milks that for a while, as Wright gets a superplex and missile dropkick for the pin at 4:02. Actually there’s never really been a pilot gimmick in wrestling, come to think of it.

Meanwhile, Lee Marshall chats with Hacksaw, who only wants a new 2×4 for Christmas.

Big Bubba v. Kenny Kendall

Bubba was some kind of biker at this point and I believe nWo affiliated. Kendall manages to work the arm and goes up to the top, but Bubba smacks him on the way down while Bobby makes fun of Kendall’s top knot. Fair. Bubba with the chinlock, but Kenny rolls him up for two. Bubba slugs him down again and goes to a neck vice before tossing him out, but Kendall comes in with a sunset flip and makes a comeback with a dropkick. But then he charges and Bubba spikes him for the pin at 4:00. I don’t know why Bubba decided to go out and give this guy a good match on TV but he sure tried. Yet another match that was not terrible.

Harlem Heat v. The Faces of Fear

The Heat rocking the PURPLE gear this week. Makes Booker look like some kind of royalty! King Booker if you will. Barbarian and Booker trade some shoulderblocks, but Barbarian hits him with a corner clothesline to stun him. Booker comes back with a pair of side kicks and it’s over to Stevie, but he misses an elbow and Meng comes in. Stevie clotheslines him out of the corner, but the Faces take over and beat Booker down in the corner. Meng with the choking, but Booker fights back on Barbarian with a forearm and makes the hot tag to Stevie, although it’s a non-wrestling crowd so they don’t particularly react. Stevie with a legdrop on Barbarian for two, but the FOF trap Stevie in the corner and THEY BE CLUBBERING, TONY! FOUR FISTIES ON ONE HEAD! But then Sherri and Jimmy Hart get involved and the match is thrown out at 6:55. Well that was kind of a disappointing match, to be honest. Just kind of slow and bad. But at least Sherri got the megaphone, no doubt for diabolical purposes later. Or not, whatever.

This was…kind of a fun show? Yeah, I’d actually continue watching this happily. Everything a nice length, nothing bad, and a good pace.