The SmarK Rant for WCW Souled Out 2000 – 01.16.00

The SmarK Rant for WCW Souled Out 2000 – 01.16.00

So of course there’s some pretty heavy backstory behind this show.

On the day before the show, the WCW power structure completely fell apart thanks to a locker room revolt and a series of injuries to the top stars. Bret Hart, the World champion, was supposed to be defending against Sid here but suffered a concussion and couldn’t get cleared for the show. The backup plan was switching the Benoit v. Jarrett US title match into a World title match for the vacant title, but then Jarrett also suffered a concussion on the Nitro before the PPV after a stupid decision to book him against Jimmy Snuka.

So with no World title match, Vince Russo pitched a battle royale where Tank Abbott would emerge as the winner and drop the belt to Sid a few days later, and the head office responded by finally firing him as booker and replacing him with Kevin Sullivan because even WCW brass were sick of titles meaning nothing and killing house show business as a result. HOWEVER, It turned out that wrestlers actually liked Russo because they could work TV and not bother with house shows, and disliked Sullivan because of the perception that he was holding back most of the midcard and just pushing his friends in the past. So Benoit, Saturn, Guerrero and Malenko all went to Bill Busch and demanded their release as a group, based on a verbal agreement from management that anyone who was unhappy could have their full release. But as a last ditch effort to keep them happy, Benoit was put into the World title match against Sid, with a “promise” from Busch that given a week to show that things were different this time under Sullivan, they could leave if they were still unhappy.

In retrospect, that was probably a bad idea on WCW’s part.

Live from Cincinnati, OH, drawing 14132 and a 0.26 buyrate. At the time that was second-lowest in WCW history, but OH MAN was the year not over yet. Homer Simpson’s “Worst day of your life SO FAR” quote fits perfectly here.

Production values on this show are just garbage compared to most WCW shows, by the way. Graphics look indie-level and the sound levels are all over the place.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan & Mike Tenay, as they run down the completely restructured disaster of a card and try to make any kind of sense of it.

Catch as Catch Can match: Kidman v. Dean Malenko

So this is taking the place of the Benoit/Jarrett matches, with Kidman working all three matches on behalf of the Filthy Animals against a variety of Revolution people. So if either person leaves the ring, they automatically lose because pins and submissions are the only way to win. NO RUNNING AWAY. Can’t stress that enough. So they trade takedowns to start as we will no doubt have a scientific classic to open the show strong. Kidman chases Malenko to the corner a couple of times and reverses a cradle, and Malenko instinctively rolls to the floor and thus loses at 2:17. That about sums up the state of the company at that point, as everyone is all confused and leaves. DUD

Vampiro v. David Flair v. Crowbar

We had a pre-show angle and a video package here to explain this match and I still don’t understand why it’s happening. It has no connection to anything that happned on the two episodes of Nitro I’ve watched thus far leading up to it. Before the match, Vampiro is doing a promo and Masa Chono interrupts him for no adequately explored reason. Vampiro hits both guys with a flapjack right away and beats on Crowbar with chops, then tosses him and follows with a dive as this poor stupid WCW crowd is actually still pretty hot, completely unaware of what’s ahead for them. Back in the ring, David does his own “chops” on Vamp, but Vamp fires back and throws him out as well. Vamp goes after David out there, but Crowbar dives and hits them both and then drops Vampiro on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING, to take over. Back in, Flair gets involved again and he just looks so out of place, so Vampiro gets rid of him again and Crowbar suplexes Vamp for two. To the top for a superplex and Crowbar slams David onto Vamp for two. David suplexes him for two. Crowbar tries a powerbomb and Vampiro reverses to an awful facejam. He’s no Kidman and this is barely even a match. I’m assuming they decided to give it extra time to cover for the short opener but that was not a good decision. Vampiro with a uranage on Vamp for two as this drags on and goes nowhere. Minor point, but the announcers acting like Daffney isn’t a total smoke show is one of the dumbest things about 2000 WCW. I’ve had crazier in my life, I’d risk it. Daffney makes out with David, but the champs collide and Vamp hits the Nail in the Coffin on David for the pin at 10:45. OK when Vampiro and Crowbar were working together, but Flair was barely able to work a normal match and this led to absolutely nothing. *

The Harris Brothers v. Big Vito & Johnny the Bull

Johnny hits a spinkick on Ron and chases the Harrisseses to the floor while Disco Inferno looks on and acts concerned at ringside. Back in the ring, Vito beats on Ron and the Mamalukes double-team Don with a neckbreaker for two. Vito with a suplex for two. Johnny slugs away but gets caught in the wrong corner and double-teamed. Ron with a sideslam and Don comes in with a big boot and chinlock on Johnny. Johnny fights back with a clothesline, but Don puts him down with a spinebuster for two. The Harrises slug him down again for two and take out Vito to provide some ref distraction, at which point the crowd turns on the match because it’s just been the heels working Johnny Hugger over for the entire match. Hugger’s a pretty decent worker for this point in his career, though. But yeah, they completely missed the peak and lost the crowd. But it continues with Ron sending Vito into the post, but he goes up and Vito pushes him off. And then Vito goes up, but Disco pushes HIM off to try and screw them over, but he lands on Don and pins him by accident at 9:50. Dull match with a dumb finish but nothing particularly bad about it. **

WCW Cruiserweight title: Madusa v. Oklahoma

Oklahoma had stolen the title belt from Madusa on Nitro, which was glossed over 2 seconds later and not even mentioned afterwards. Madusa has Spice of the Nitro Girls in her corner with no explanation so I’m sure we can all guess the finish from a mile away. Oklahoma takes her down with hairtosses and Madusa whips him into the corner and “accidentally” headbutts him in the crotch before going up with a pair of missile dropkicks. Madusa is wearing some kind of stylized apron gear and working barefoot, which I’m assuming is a “barefoot and pregnant” riff based on the dumb misogynist build of the match. Oklahoma grabs his sauce bottle, but Asya shows up and steals it from him, but Oklahoma pulls down Madusa’s skirt and rolls her up for the pin and the title at 2:55. Oh and Russo was also given an ultimatum by management not to switch the title here, so he did anyway. DUD. To their credit, I expected Spice to turn on Madusa because that would make the least amount of sense and thus be the most likely outcome, but that didn’t happen. Anyway the women all team up and dump BBQ sauce on Oklahoma, which I guess is supposed to be sufficient revenge for weeks of abuse from ol’ Ed and makes the title change all right.

WCW Hardcore title: Brian Knobs v. Norman Smiley v. Fit Finlay v. Meng

They show footage of a hardcore match from the previous Monday’s Nitro and then admit that it didn’t actually air on Nitro and was actually on Thunder despite the “Nitro” graphic in the corner. Because WCW. Knobs as a singles wrestler wasn’t the worst thing in the world but we all know the only reason why he got a job. Meng destroys everyone to start, but Fit and Knobs team up to take him down and work him over in the corner. So they hit each other with garbage cans on the floor and literally trip over each other before going back to the can shots over and over. Like literally the entire first four minutes of the match is just them standing on the floor trading shots with garbage cans. Norman and Fit briefly head into the crowd and then it’s back to ringside for more garbage cans as Bobby is over the top with praise, calling it “the best hardcore match he’s ever seen”. Finally Norman brings a riot shield into the ring and goes after Knobs in the ring, but Knobs hits him with it and pins him to retain at 6:11. Barely even a match. *. And if Knobs and Finlay are a team and Meng and Smiley are a team, why not just do a tag team match?

Bunkhouse Brawl: Kidman v. Perry Saturn

Both guys are dressed in their regular gear here and just start doing a regular match, immediately rendering the bunkhouse stip pointless. Apparently Saturn didn’t even know he was booked in the match until the show started and he didn’t want to do a hardcore match so they just did a normal match. Kidman with a corner clothesline for two and he tries a springboard, but Saturn dropkicks him to the floor and back in for an armbar submission. Kidman with a rollup for two, but Saturn clotheslines him for two and follows with a springboard legdrop for two. Saturn drops him on the top rope for two and sets up a table at ringside, but Kidman comes back with a tornado DDT before Saturn cuts him off with a clothesline. Saturn to the top with a BEAUTIFUL flying elbow, and that gets two. Powerbomb gets two. So yes, you CAN powerbomb Kidman. Moonsault misses and Kidman bulldogs him for two and gets his own powerbomb for two. But then Saturn backdrops him and Kidman goes flying over the top and through the table at ringside, which gets two for Saturn on the floor. Because it’s a bunkhouse match, in case you forgot. Back in the ring, Saturn tries another powerbomb, but YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB KIDMAN and Kidman gets the pin at 9:20 off that. I’ve seen worse but this was pointless. **1/2

Stevie Ray v. Booker T

HARLEM HEAT EXPLODES in another match no one wanted to see. Like we already had the breakup in 1998 and no one wanted it then, why do we need another one? Also we get a vignette before the match where Stevie goes back to his roots and accuses Booker of forgetting where he came from. Is that supposed to make me boo Stevie? Booker runs wild and sends Stevie to the floor with a sidekick, but Stevie catches him with a clothesline and back elbow to take over. Powerslam gets two as the match dies off with the crowd already. Stevie with a chinlock and he drops an elbow for two. Booker fights back and Stevie backdrops him to cut him off. Booker with another comeback with the axe kick and Book End, but Ahmed Johnson debuts and runs in for the DQ at 6:20. Ahmed was so bad and out of shape by this point that even Vince wouldn’t give him another job, so of course WCW was happy to throw money at him. And Stevie names him “Big T”, which was a very fitting name. ½*.

Because he was really fat, is what I’m getting at.

Tank Abbott v. Jerry Flynn

I guess this is some kind of shooting match and they roll around on the mat as Flynn tries an armbar, but Tank slams out of it. And then he knocks Flynn out with a punch to the back of the head that missed by six inches, and just as Tenay talks about the 10 count, the ref instead drops Flynn’s arm three times and calls for the bell at 1:40. 10/10, no notes.

Buff Bagwell v. Diamond Dallas Page

This is a last man standing match with no rules and no ref, except for the rules about needing to beat a 10 count and the ref at ringside counting it. So more accurately some rules and some refs. The argument seems to be based on who has the bigger dick, although given the evidence provided by Buff’s subsequent porn career and life of steroid use, the answer would seem to be obviously DDP. They fight on the floor to start and head over to the boards for a brawl, and back in the ring for a neckbreaker from Page. Buff escapes a cutter and gets his own neckbreaker, but Page hits him with the discus lariat and clotheslines him to the floor for a double down out there. They fight up the aisle and brawl to the WCW.com table, where they get into a monitor-smashing duel before Page uses a keyboard. And that’s a 90s IBM keyboard, those things HURT. Sure, not as much as a sick Twitter burn with a Travis Kelce meme, but still pretty painful. Buff puts him on the table and dives off the set, however, putting him through the table in a nice bump. Back to the ring, Buff goes low and chokes him out in the corner, but he stops to pose and Page makes a comeback and crotches him on the post. Back in the ring, Page beats on him with elbows in the corner, but runs into an elbow from Buff and they’re both down for a count. Page with another back elbow for another double down and the crowd likes counting along with stuff so they’re very into it. Buff comes back with a DDT and I actually like that the counts are at a normal speed and not the melodramatic slow counts that WWE does for these. Buff goes up with the Blockbuster but DDP beats the count, so Buff beats him down with a baton and Page has to beat that count as well. But Buff has his back turned in the corner, and he turns around and walks into the Diamond Cutter as Kimberly heads down and does nothing. And then Buff beats the count for the win at 11:18 even though he took the Diamond Cutter. Clearly the best match of the show thus far but I have no idea who was supposed to be the babyface and the finish didn’t make any sense. ***1/2

Cage match: Kidman v. The Wall

So this is the dreaded third match in the series for Kidman, and the Wall is the new member of the Revolution, as introduced by Shane Douglas before the match in desperate hopes of making someone care. I presume that the Wall’s salary was supposed to paid in full by Mexico but everyone just goes over him anyway. The Wall tries to go up top and Kidman hits him with a chair to bring him down. But then Wall takes him to the floor and rams him into the cage to take over and slugs away in the ring. Crowd is busy watching a fight in the stands and doesn’t care. Kidman comes back with a sunset flip out of the corner for two but Wall cuts him off with a samoan drop. Kidman with a DDT for two. Wall tries a chokeslam and Kidman reverses him to the rana and goes up to finish, but Wall barely even sells the bump and catches him with another chokeslam for the pin at 4:54. Yup. What the fuck was even the point of any of this? ½*

Hardcore match: Kevin Nash v. Terry Funk

If Nash wins, he’s the new commissioner, and Funk wins, the nWo has to disband. Hope that didn’t spoil the obvious finish too much. Nash completely destroys Funk on the floor and powerbombs him through the ringside table right away, before the bell even rings, and then stops to cut a promo about how Funk can keep the commissioner job if he makes it back into the ring. So Funk makes it in, and Nash clarifies that he’s a “lying son of a bitch”. I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments. So Funk is busted open and Nash beats on him and clotheslines him to the floor again. Nash beats on him out there and then grabs a chair and pounds on him with that, but Funk gets a DDT for two. Funk fights back again, so Nash continues hitting him with the chair until Funk fights back again with headbutts and sets up a pair of chairs, but Nash gives him the Poochiebomb onto the chairs and pins him at 5:15 to win the commissioner job. Well Funk’s run sure didn’t last long. This was pretty sad to watch, especially since Nash treated Funk like a joke from the start of the buildup and all through the match. *1/2.

Meanwhile, special referee Arn Anderson tries to make the main event seem like an important deal to the tiny PPV audience watching this one. Well he tried!

WCW World title: Sid Vicious v. Chris Benoit

Big ask for Benoit here. Sid overpowers him to start and clotheslines him to the floor while they send out the locker room to watch at the entrance, really trying to make this seem important at least. Even though it wasn’t at all. Back in the ring, Sid hits Benoit with a press slam and a front suplex. Someone like Shawn Michaels always knew exactly what to do with a Sid, but Benoit was a different type of worker and this David v. Goliath thing was never really in his wheelhouse. They head to the floor and Benoit manages to take him down via the knee and dropkicks the stairs into his leg. Back in, that gets two. Benoit continues working the knee with a figure-four while the crowd chants for Sid, but Sid reverses it and Benoit makes the ropes. He goes back to the knee again and takes Sid down with a dragon screw and a snap suplex for two. Benoit goes back to the knee with a bridging deathlock. Sid fights out of that and the crowd gets even further behind him as a result, and he fights back and wins a slugfest. And then Benoit dropkicks the knee again, keeping it super simple, and he follows with a german suplex. Sid breaks loose from the second one and puts Benoit down for two. Benoit takes him down again with a heel hook this time, but Sid powers up and makes the ropes. Benoit with another german suplex and he goes up to finish, but the diving headbutt only gets two and Sid makes the comeback. Chokeslam gets two but Benoit is in the ropes, and then he immediately takes Sid down with the crossface and Sid taps at 14:20 to make Benoit the champion. But they gave themselves an out at least, since Sid was also in the ropes and Arn didn’t see it. **1/2.

After the match, Benoit does his victory promo, but Commissioner Nash promises to make his life a living hell as champion, which was supposed to set up Benoit defending the title three times on Nitro and winning all three for the monster push. Bill Busch apparently felt like this, combined with a compromise of only making Kevin Sullivan the booker of WCW Saturday Night, would be enough to get Benoit and his friends to stay. However, Mike Graham decided to interject his own strategy into the negotiations, and reportedly threatened to kill Benoit and the Revolution if they continued trying for their release. So Benoit went to HR with the threats, and WCW brass had no choice but to finally concede and give the Radicalz a full release, which is just insane if you think about the time and how badly the war was going. The reports of Benoit “throwing the belt in the trash can” appear to be nothing more than a 2000 version of a meme but he might as well have done just that.

And with that, we’ll pick up the ongoing disaster that is WCW 2000 again next week.

Also this show sucked. Recommendation to avoid, duh.