The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 10.30.00

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 10.30.00

Originally written 09.19.25

Well someday I’ll finish slogging through WCW 2000. I was gonna redo Halloween Havoc 2000, since we’re at that point, but then I decided that the world has enough misery and pain right now as it is, and I’m just gonna skip over it and carry on.

Live from Irvine, CA, with what looks like somewhere between 500-1000 people and all the lights out the night after a PPV. That’s really sad.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden & Scott Hudson

WCW tag team title: Sean O’Haire & Mark Jindrak v. The Filthy Animals

Rey takes Jindrak down with a headscissors while Konnan completely buries the NBT on commentary, noting that “you can’t always have a good match and they prove it every night.” Kidman comes in and O’Haire tosses him around while Konnan calls them “a couple of salad tossers”, which I guess would make Kidman the salad. O’Haire presses Rey into a Michinoku Driver in a cool spot that wouldn’t work on anyone else, and then blocks a rana with a slingshot powerbomb for two. Jindrak comes in with a clothesline for two, but Rey comes back with a rana and it’s hot tag Kidman. He bulldogs O’Haire out of the corner and slugs away on him, but Jindrak cuts him off with a rack bomb for two. O’Haire moonsaults over both Animals in the corner and hits them with a double clothesline, just firing off all kinds of cool shit at a million miles an hour, but Kidman cuts him off with the short powerbomb to set up the Nutcracker from Rey for two. But Alex Wright takes the ref and Disqo runs in with the stunner on Kidman and puts Jindrak on top for the pin to retain at 6:00. This was kind of a hell of a match, actually, feeling like something out of modern AEW. ***1/2.

Meanwhile, Scott Steiner is heated at Mike Sanders because he failed to win the World title and promises further repercussions. Kevin Nash, as always, is chill about the whole thing.

WCW Hardcore title: Reno v. Kwee Wee

Kwee Wee is ANGRY over stuff that went down in the WCW Power Plant and attacks him with a pink trash can on the way to the ring. He’s also, like, seven-eighths glitter tonight. Sunset flip on the floor gets two and Kwee Wee beats him down with the trashcans, but he tries a piledriver and gets backdropped. Reno drops him on the pink can as they hype the introduction of a new “CEO” of WCW, which I guess differs from the Commissioner in some fashion. Into the ring, Reno catapults him into the trashcan and tosses him to the floor again before beating him down with a kendo stick. Kwee Wee gets his own stick and runs Reno into the railings and trashcans as they’re working a really fast pace here. They’re about to go backstage, but the Natural Born Thrillers come out en masse and provide Kwee Wee with a beating before launching him back into the ring with a double biel in a crazy spot. And Reno ROLLS THE DICE to finish at 5:20. A super hot match but just the usual hardcore stuff. **

General Rection joins Mean Gene, having won the US title at Halloween Havoc. Gene talks about how much everyone trusts and appreciates Rection backstage, and then we get a super contrived standing ovation from the locker room. But then Lance Storm pops up on the big screen and challenges Rection to a rematch at Mayhem. This was so pathetic and sad, with all these jobbers clapping for him while the crowd didn’t give a shit. Also they admitted that he beat Duggan in the three-way match to win the title and not Storm, so why exactly are they celebrating his title win like some kind of big deal?

David Flair joins us with the results of the DNA test on Buff Bagwell, which confirms that Buff isn’t the father of Stacy’s baby. So this brings out MI Smooth, who is now mad at David after stooging out Buff with bad information. I don’t understand what is going on here. Also Madden says what we’re all thinking: Smooth saying “I’m gonna show you who the daddy is” while taking off his pants is pretty terrifying. David reasonably decides to walk away because he doesn’t want to wrestle tonight, but Smooth attacks him and tosses him to the floor. David comes in with a sunset flip for two, but Smooth splashes him and finishes him with a Bubba Bomb at 1:42. I don’t get any of this. DUD

Meanwhile, Jimmy Hart issues a challenge to DJs around the country. I wish he’d beat up that stupid fucking DJ X on Spotify. STOP PLAYING THE SAME SONGS OVER AND OVER. I’VE ALREADY LISTENED TO THAT ONE.

The Boogie Knights join us and he’s not sure why he’s out there. So then Goldberg comes out and tosses them and tells them to get lost. So we still don’t know why they were even out there. Tremendous TV, this is. Goldberg says he’s gonna break his streak again, which, spoiler alert, did not happen. The high school gym crowd politely applauds for him. Good god this show is getting sadder by the minute after a hot start.

Mike Sanders joins us to accept his position as WCW Commissioner and grants Scott Steiner his rematch TONIGHT IN THIS VERY RING in a three way with Mike Awesome and Booker T. So this brings out Ric Flair, who is now the CEO of WCW as we get another fake authority figure to add to the pile. Flair tells Sanders to get lost after putting him over as a “good hand”, but then makes a match against the Cat. Ric makes all kind of vague promises about a “new day” for WCW and how they’re the greatest promotion in the world, which is hilarious considering there’s like 1000 people there. Flair claims to be retired and not wrestling anymore but we know how that worked out. So Jeff Jarrett comes out and the microphone doesn’t work, but he sadly he gets a new one and he doesn’t buy Flair’s retirement either. But Flair stresses that he’s retired again and I guess that’s the end of the segment.

Lex Luger joins us to announce that he’s reinstated to WCW thanks to Ric Flair, who paid him to attack Buff Bagwell last night at Havoc 2000. I literally had forgotten he was gone. Also he’s gonna be NEXT for Goldberg. You know what I wish was next? A FUCKING WRESTLING MATCH. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DO WRESTLING ALREADY. Anyway, Buff interrupts and he wants Lex in a match as well, and he stopped by a vending machine backstage and found a referee.

Buff Bagwell v. Lex Luger

Buff attacks and hits a double arm DDT to set up the Blockbuster early, but Lex pulls the ref in the way and wipes him out. So they fight to the floor and Lex beats on him with a chair, and back into the ring for the HUMAN TORTURE RACK to finish at 1:30. Yeah this didn’t exactly help Bagwell’s babyface run any.

Meanwhile, Coach Kevin finally has Stasiak & Palumbo working as a team again, and gives them a couple of celebratory ass slaps to seal the deal. “Hey Paula, what about me? Bring it in there.”

Kronik v. Stasiak & Palumbo

Stasiak attacks Adams in the corner to start while Coach Kevin joins us on commentary and the crowd chants for Scott Hall. Palumbo comes in with a superkick on Adams and they work him over, clearly on the same page once and for all. Coach: “I SMELL MONEY!” Clark comes in and beats on Chuck in the corner before putting the boots to him, but Palumbo gets a dropkick for two while Coach Kevin does a comedy routine with Madden. They fight to the floor and Stasiak gets laid out in front of Nash, who offers an inspiring WALK IT OFF, KID to motivate him. So he does, and walks all the way to the back. “I didn’t say walk all the way to the back!” notes Nash. And so Kronik murders Palumbo. Nash: “I can’t fight these kids’ battles. They’ll never learn anything if I just go in there and win the match for them.” He’s not wrong. High Times finishes at 4:00. This was a terrible match but I appreciate Kevin Nash. DUD. Also I thought Kronik were heels?

Meanwhile, Booker T wants to kill Scott Steiner as much as Mike Awesome does.

The Cat v. Mike Sanders

The Cat tells a story about looking at a naked Mark Madden in the shower, which I guess is hilarious back in 2000. Cat slugs away in the corner, but Mike goes low and tosses him to take over. Back in the ring for a chinlock, but Cat escapes with a kick and then finishes with the Feliner at 2:55. But then Shane Douglas interrupts, having kidnapped Miss Jones in case anyone even knows who she is or cares. And then he lays her out and Cat rushes back and does a promo on Shane for the next program.

WCW World title: Booker T v. Mike Awesome v. Scott Steiner

Scott beats on Booker with chops as apparently Awesome is late tonight, and he finally makes his entrance 2:00 into the match for some reason. He clotheslines Steiner to the floor and hits Booker with a shoulderblock for two. Awesome stomps Steiner down and goes up with the flying splash for two. Booker makes a comeback with the axe kick on Steiner, but Awesome cuts him off with a lariat after the spinarooni. They fight to the floor and Awesome runs Steiner into the apron and back in for two. But then Scott goes low on Awesome and takes him to the top for a samoan drop that gets two. Booker with a sidekick on Steiner for two, but Scott tries to steal one with the Steiner Recliner on Awesome, but Booker breaks it up with the sidekick and then pins Awesome to retain at 8:00. **1/4 They already missed the peak with Steiner and should have put the title on him at Halloween Havoc. And of course Booker challenges Steiner to a rematch at Mayhem.

No really, why were the Boogie Knights even out there? They literally never explained it. Anyway, although the first match was really good, this was an all time godawful episode of the show as everyone was mentally checked out with no direction from the company, and waiting for Vince McMahon to put them out of their misery. But that was still five months away!