The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 10.23.00

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 10.23.00

Since I’ve got access to Peacock now I figure I might as well go back and finish 2000. I’d go back and read the last couple of weeks again to catch up, but really what’s the point with this show?

Live from a double taping in Little Rock, AR, as a cost-saving measure. Also in a cost-saving measure, Bret Hart was fired three days before this show.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden and Stevie Ray

The Perfect Event v. The Harris Brothers

The narrative is now that Stasiak is selfish and on the verge of being fired from the the team. Stasiak with a neckbreaker on Don, but Don runs wild with clotheslines while Coach Nash calls him a “House O’Fire” on commentary, sounding about as thrilled to be watching this show as I am. Over to Chucky, who hits Don with a superkick and dropkicks Ron off the apron while Stasiak yells at the crowd for no adequately explored reason. Stevie: “What does Stasiak need to succeed?” Nash: “A 9MM pointing at his temple.” Stasiak walks away from the tag and leaves Palumbo on his own, and the H Bomb finishes at 2:45. I guess the Nazi brothers are babyfaces now? Afterwards, the Coach chokes out Stasiak and then REMOVES HIS BASEBALL CAP, which is the universal sign of trouble coming. ½*

Meanwhile, Mike Sanders promises he’ll be the new commish after Halloween Havoc and tonight he’ll do some kickboxing exhibitions.

Booker T joins us and he notes that Scott Steiner SUCKS as a man and tells a story about his daddy telling him to take some if you want some and give some if you need some or something, I can’t really follow, and of course hating the game instead of the player. But Stevie Ray agrees that indeed that is what was said to him. So Scott Steiner comes out and accuses Booker’s mama of working on the street corner for $1.95 an hour, which seems like a pretty mean thing to say, and it turns out to be a setup so that Jeff Jarrett can attack. But luckily Sting is there to make the save and it turns into a giant dressing room clearing brawl.

Meanwhile, Scott Steiner is looking at a dead man when he sees Mike Awesome, and he wants Mike to write down his thoughts RIGHT NOW because he wants to know what a lamb thinks before it goes to slaughter. And then he imitates a lamb to make sure we know where he’s going with this.

Mike Sanders joins us and promises that he lives on Badstreet USA, which is the baddest street in the whole USA, and Cat will find out what it means to be SOL.

Kickboxing Exhibition: Mike Sanders v. The Jung Dragons

Sanders pours liquid on his gloves and rubs it in Jamie-San’s eyes, and then knocks him out at 0:45. Next up, Jimmy Yang gets some shots, but Sanders uses the loaded glove again and then headbutts Yang down and out at 1:35. Last round and Kaz throws kicks, but Sanders rubs his face in the ether-soaked turnbuckle and knocks him out at 2:27. So Leia Meow kicks Sanders in the nuts, but he reveals that he’s wearing a cup and threatens to rub it in Meow’s face. But the Cat makes the save and dances to set up their PPV match.

Kronik joins us and does a promo on Goldberg while Madden jokes about WCW not being able to find a buyer for the company, and it turns out that Three Count has hired them as bodyguards tonight. So Three Count comes out and promises to sing every song they know, but Kronik doesn’t want to hear it and immediately breaks their contract and turns on them. And they pin Helms after the High Times, which means this was a match, I guess.

Meanwhile, Coach Kevin Nash clarifies his feelings on Shawn Stasiak and gives him a second chance to earn trust again via tough love. And then he bitches about Scott Hall getting fired and promises the Outsiders will run again because it’s not a gimmick. Yeah, except that they ran again for the other company two years later.

“Team Canada” joins us, with General Rection playing Lance Storm now that he’s apparently the US champion? They do some “hilarious” impressions of Storm and Elix Skipper and Jim Duggan. But of course there’s no fourth member of Team Canada so Lash just has to dress like a moose. I should note they made absolutely no mention of how and when Rection got the US title from Storm.

Shawn Stasiak v. Goldberg

Nash does a promo beforehand, and he’s STILL going on about Scott Hall. Once again, a reminder that his went NOWHERE. Hall was fired and never appeared again in WCW. Goldberg destroys Stasiak and finishes with the Jackhammer at 0:35.

Alex Wright v. Kidman v. Mark Jindrak

Disco has a massive announcement before the match: They’re launching an extensive investigation into who let the dogs out, and where the dogs came from in the first place, and where the dogs currently are. There’s lots of trucks in Arkansas and he doesn’t want any dogs getting hurt! I confess, I did laugh a little bit. Wright and Kidman double-team Jindrak, but then Wright and Jindrak decide to team up on Kidman instead and stomp him down. Wright with a german suplex on Jindrak for two, but Kidman breaks it up. Wright goes up with a missile dropkick on Jindrak for two, and everyone brawls on the floor. Back in, Kidman pins Wright with the Killswitch at 2:14. So it’s a three-way match for the tag titles at Havoc. *

Meanwhile, Crowbar is polishing his staff and celebrating his new partnership with Mike Awesome, but Jimmy Hart runs in and tells Crowbar that he just got booked and he’s needed in the ring.

Meanwhile, we take another look at the David-Stacy storyline, which (say it with me) went nowhere and led to nothing, just another booger left hanging out of the nose of WCW when Russo departed, like the Goldberg storyline.

Vampiro v. Crowbar

Madden is all excited that Vamp is back, but I didn’t even realize he was gone. There was a time earlier in the year when they could have made something big out of Vamp, but that is long past. They brawl on the floor to start and back in the ring Vampiro hits him with a spinkick, but Crowbar crotches him on the top rope and chops him to the floor. Crowbar with a splash off the apron and they fight on the floor again, as Vampiro jumps off the stairs and hits Crowbar with a chair. Back in, Crowbar with a slingshot splash, but Vamp takes him to the top for an overhead suplex that sends Crowbar three quarters of the way across the ring and that gets two. Vampiro goes up and Crowbar brings him down with a rana and retrieves the chair for another shot before hitting another slingshot legdrop, onto the chair. Stevie: “Tony did you see the indentation on that chair?” Tony: “Yes I did.” Stevie: “TONY DID YOU SEE IT?” Tony: “YES I DID.” They fight to the floor again and fight over to the DJ booth, threatening to get all up in DJ Ran’s area, but Crowbar runs Vamp into a Nitro girl cage and tries to put Vamp through tables, but Vampiro reverses to a chokeslam and Crowbar goes through at 9:50, which is apparently a DISQUALIFCATION?! Well that was a stupid finish to a match that came out of nowhere with a banger. ****. This should probably be on the Hidden Gems on the Vault or something because it ruled and I have no idea where it came from. They just went out and decided to get themselves over and it WORKED. Did it end up doing anything for either guy? Of course not. The whole company was a lame duck anyway.

Konnan v. Shane Douglas

Sadly, Shane is badly injured and sporting a sling on his arm, so the match won’t be happening tonight. Shane calls him CARLOS so you know it’s a shoot. But then Shane attacks with the cast and CARLOS puts the boots to him in the corner and I guess the match is happening after all. Lucky us. Konnan takes him down and puts him in a submission hold, but then releases the move and Shane escapes to the floor. Torrie finds a chain in her boobs, as women do, and gives it to Shane for the knockout blow and Franchiser to finish at 2:00. As usual Konnan does his prison tough promo where he promises to stab you in the face and make you eat his ass out, and then does a 2 minute job to a literal one-armed man and goes out looking like a bitch. DUD

Scott Steiner v. Mike Awesome

Steiner brings a tiger to ringside, like he’s some kind of Tiger King, but Awesome attacks and hits a slingshot splash for two. Flying splash gets two, but Steiner sends him to the floor with him from Midajah and they brawl out there. Scott drops an elbow for two and does some pushups before putting the boots to Mike and slugging away in the corner. Belly to belly and Awesome bails to the floor and then regroups with a corner clothesline back in the ring. He goes for the powerbomb to finish, but Scott finds his pipe and knocks Awesome out, while Stevie refers to Midajah as a “squacking yak”. To the top for a samoan drop off the top and that gets two. And the Steiner Recliner finishes at 5:15 as we run out of time and go off the air. This was fine but as usual Awesome is dead in the water. **

Next time: I likely will not be redoing Halloween Havoc 2000 because I value my sanity. I kinda just want to get this year over with.