The SmarK Rant for UWF Wrestling – 05.31.86

The SmarK Rant for UWF Wrestling – 05.31.86

(Hey, sorry I don’t have All Out ready this morning but I got stuck working late and didn’t have a chance to watch the show on Saturday night. Luckily I had this one done in the can from when it was posted a couple of days back.)

Not sure why the Vault jumped forward 2 whole years for their Throwback Thursday series, going from Mid-South in 84 to the proper UWF era, but this is a great episode to go with.

https://youtu.be/LjbRlEOvj8U?si=TLUYccbnZyZ34_xK

Taped from Tulsa, OK

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Michael Hayes

Rick Steiner v. Perry Jackson

Rick Steiner is aligned with Buzz Sawyer at this point after they teamed in the Crockett Cup, although Rick wasn’t a seriously pushed guy yet. Before the match, Eddie Gilbert interrupts and talks about his issues with Cowboy Bill Watts, because he’s been thinking about how he betrayed America and wants to apologize. To be clear, he’s not a communist, he’s a true American. So Tommy Gilbert comes out to talk to his son and offers to take him back to the dressing room to see Bill, while the match starts. They trade slams while JR informs us that Rick comes from (checks notes) the University of Michigan. I’ll have to remember that tidbit. JR thinks that Rick has a big future in the sport. His kid might have a shot at being a star, too, I hear. Rick with the move that became known as the Jackhammer and he beats Jackson down, but Perry hits him with a bodypress for two. Jackson comes back and backdrops him to set up a powerslam for two. Jackson tries a backdrop and Rick kind of stuffs it, and then hits him with a suplex off the middle rope and pins him at 2:18. Rick’s trunks left NOTHING to the imagination and I’m relieved that he switched to more modest coverings soon after.

The One Man Gang v. Ken Massey

Gang is the newest member of Devastation Inc. and this is really the beginning of what we know as the Gang’s gimmick. Gang attacks Massey on the floor and beats on him with the clubbing forearms, and back in the ring for a 747 splash to finish at 1:00.

Dark Journey joins JR in the ring to discuss her issues with Lady Maxine, who remains a fascinating case of “What if” in wrestling. She was supposed to be in the WWF as Wendi Richter’s nemesis, and even had a spot in Hulk Hogan’s Rock N Wrestling drawn up, but then disappeared from the sport and got replaced by Moolah in the cartoon. So Michael Hayes steps in and he’s like “I know a thing or two about how to handle frustrated women” and asks her to “come down Badstreet with him”. Journey is like “So you want to marry me now?” and Hayes quips “I’m not saying I want to get divorced or anything, I just want to get lucky” and she slaps him and leaves. Funny segment.

Eddie Gilbert joins us again, still begging for a chance to apologize to Bill Watts and wipe the slate clean, showing that he’s no longer affiliated with any Russians. So indeed, this brings out the Cowboy, and Eddie notes that he was just helping the commies for money, and now he doesn’t need the Russian flag anymore and he presents it to Cowboy. Bill confirms with him that he’s no longer a Russian agent, but Eddie clarifies that he’s still managing the Blade Runners. Just NO RUSSIANS. So Bill is ready to forgive and forget, but the Koloffs hit the ring and attack Bill. And then Eddie shows his true Russian colors, turning on Watts with a shovel to the head, so the Russians can continue brutalizing him and busting him open until Doc and Dibiase and Duggan all run in and make the save FOR AMERICA. And the Koloffs drape the Russian flag on Watts’s fallen body, as young Erik also runs in to help his father.

Dr. Death Steve Williams v. ? Mendoza

Doc is FIRED UP about evil commies and Mendoza is from Cuba, so Doc just wrecks him and tosses him out of the ring, and then back in for shoulderblocks and the Oklahoma Stampede to finish at 0:41.

Frank Dusek joins JR to discuss the situation with Cowboy Bill.

Michael Hayes & Buddy Roberts v. Terry Taylor & Ted Dibiase

They must be cutting out all the arena promos and stuff because they’re clipping right to the matches. Dibiase works on Buddy’s arm to start and forces him to tag out to Hayes, triggering a slugfest between them. Dibiase backdrops him and it’s over to Taylor, who takes Roberts down with a headscissors and they trade off that, but Buddy gets a cheapshot to take over. Taylor tags out to Dibiase, however, and Ted slugs away on the Freebirds in the corner, until they manage to double-team him. Dibiase slugs back on Hayes and the babyfaces pinball him in the corner and hit a double elbow with the referee distracted by Roberts. Taylor tries a sunset flip and Hayes punches him to block it. Taylor comes back with an atomic drop that sends Buddy into the corner and then the babyfaces unleash a DOUBLE ATOMIC DROP. Buddy selling all his tailbone pain is great stuff. But then the Freebirds cheat again and Roberts gets a neckbreaker on Dibiase for two. Middle rope elbow and it’s back to Hayes for a chinlock. Dibiase comes back with a suplex to escape and it’s hot tag Taylor as the crowd goes bananas. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA (for real this time!) and the Freebirds collide, allowing Taylor to roll up Buddy. But then Hayes hits him from behind and slams Roberts onto Terry for the pin at 8:44. Super hot main event here. ***1/4. BUT WAIT! The ref sees the cheating and reverses the decision, awarding the match to the babyfaces as a result.

Eddie Gilbert and his Russian buddies join us to end the show, declaring Bill Watts to be a sucker who deserved everything that he got. But then the Fantastics hit the ring and brawl with the Russians FOR AMERICA. But then they get the advantage, so Cowboy returns and he’s WALKING TALL with a baseball bat to clean house and chase them back to Russia or Crockett Promotions or wherever Russians come from.

Legendary angle to bookend this one! Never trust Russians!