The SmarK Rant for Saturday Night’s Main Event XL – 07.12.25

Holy cow, I just got home from out all day with my phone on DND to avoid spoilers, and apparently All In is six hours long. Which is, like, fine, but it’s 9pm as I’m writing this and I can’t pull that off tonight, so it’s SNME first and then desperately avoid spoilers until tomorrow.

Live from Atlanta, GA

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Wade Barrett

Randy Orton (w/ Jelly Roll) v. Drew McIntyre (w/ Logan Paul)

There aren’t enough celebrities named after pastries. We need to normalize it again. I will say, I have at least heard of Jelly Roll and am familiar with his musical stylings. That’s better than the usual people they treat as household names. Orton slugs away in the corner and clotheslines Drew to the floor, but Drew slams him onto the announce table as we take a break. Back with Orton trying a comeback, but Drew cuts him off with a headbutt and then walks into a powerslam. Back to the floor and Orton returns the slams onto the announce table, NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THRICE! Back in the ring for the vintage DDT, but Logan Paul runs interference and Drew hits the Claymore for two. This prompts a fight between Logan Paul and Jelly Roll, and in general I wouldn’t start a fight with someone who has tattoos on his face, but Logan does and gets shoved down. Orton with the RKO OUTTA NOWHERE in the melee and that finishes at 8:27. Very short and not much to it. **1/4. Afterwards, Logan Paul attacks and lays Randy out, but Jelly Roll makes the save before Drew lays him out with the Claymore. I wish someone had done that before he got a chance to ruin Country Roads, to be honest. Basic stuff which I assume sets up a goofy tag match at Summerslam.

Meanwhile, Jade Cargill is making an appearance at ringside to hype Evolution, and Naomi attacks out of the crowd and they brawl until Nick Aldis stops them by introducing tomorrow’s special guest referee, Bianca Belair. Hopefully not in that dress. I think that’s literally more hype for that PPV than they’ve done in the past month leading up to it.

WWE US title: Solo Sikoa v. Jimmy Uso

This seems like a weirdly low key way to do a first time brother v. brother match. Jimmy sends Solo to the floor and hits him with a dive as the gaggle of Samoans assists him back into the ring. Solo blocks a springboard move and hits the spinning slam for two, and then slugs him down to the floor for a shot from Tama Tonga. We take a break and return with them fighting on the apron, where Jimmy hits him with a german suplex on THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Jimmy to the top with a bodypress for two. Jimmy with a hip attack and flying splash for two, but Solo comes back with the uranage. Jimmy fights back with a pair of superkicks and goes up for another splash, but Solo bails to the floor and Jimmy takes out a pile of Samoans instead. But then Solo rolls him up on the way into the ring and uses leverage from Hikaleo for the pin at 10:30. Oddly they had better chemistry together than the Usos did. ***. Afterwards, Jacob Fatu breaks up a beatdown and takes out the Samoan goons to continue his babyface turn.

Meanwhile, Randy Orton apologizes to Jelly Roll for involving him in the business, but Jelly wants a TAG TEAM MATCH, PLAYA.

Seth Rollins v. LA Knight

LA slugs away and goes for the BFT early, but Seth bails to escape, so Knight hits him with a baseball slide and they brawl on the floor. Knight with a clothesline off the table as we take a break. Back with Rollins holding a bodyscissors, but LA slugs out until Rollins hits him with a gutbuster and a frog splash for two. Knight dodges the stomp and makes the comeback with a DDT and the flying elbow for two. Knight tries the BFD again and they fight to the top, where Knight tries a superplex and falls victim to a buckle bomb instead. Seth with a springboard senton, and he follows with a moonsault, but he claims injury and gets medical attention from Dr. Heyman, at which point Knight hits the BFT and pins him clean at 11:19. Well that was obviously a very abrupt and surprising finish, and it’s gonna mess them up if Rollins is out after blowing out his knee on live TV. **3/4

World heavyweight title: Gunther v. Goldberg

They give him one last Goldberg entrance, with luminaries like Ernest Miller and Doug Dellinger. Gunther tries some chops and Goldberg shrugs him off and puts him down with a short clothesline. Gunther hits him in the bad knee and goes to the top, but Goldberg slams him off the top and Gunther bails to escape. Goldberg chases him out and spears the barricade as we take a break. Back with Gunther working the knee and he puts Goldberg down with a shot to the knee after a chop exchange. Goldberg limps around and slugs away in the corner to set up the spear, but it misses and he takes out the ref instead. Gunther goes back to the knee and the has words with Goldberg Jr. at ringside, but he takes too long and walks into a spear in the ring. Jackhammer follows, but the knee gives out and he only gets two. And Gunther puts him out of his misery with the sleeper at 13:30 and sends him into retirement. Wasn’t much to the match, but Gunther knows how to work around guys like that and got the best match he could out of an immobile Goldberg, and obviously it had great heat. ***

And then before the poor guy can even do a goodbye speech, they take a break and then wrap up the show in a hurry.

I’ve generally liked these modern SNME revival shows and this was no exception, just a pleasant two hours of fast-paced good action. This one also felt like less ga-ga than the previous episodes and more like a standard TV show for them, which is neither good nor bad, just what it is. Sucks to be Seth Rollins, though.