The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 07.11.87

The SmarK Rant for Pro Wrestling This Week – 07.11.87

OH MY GOD JANUARY IS FINALLY OVER. This may have been way up there with the worst months of my entire life.

My WWE Network account got nuked yesterday and I thought I might be freed from Monday Nitro, but then I figured out that I could create a new account with my mailing list cleverly listed as “Germany” and be back in business again.

Your hosts are Gordon Solie & Joe Pedicino

The hosts discuss their experiences at the Great American Bash tour, and this new “War Games” match causing such a stir.

Ric Flair does a promo from Worldwide Wrestling, revealing that if he beats Jimmy Garvin in the cage match in Greensboro, he gets Precious for a night, and he’s gonna FILM IT ALL. That was a great detail and led to the payoff for the angle.

The Midnight Express squashes a pair of geeks while Jim Cornette rants on commentary about the Rock N Roll Express, and they finish with the newly debuted Flapjack.

Wild West Wrestling is coming soon to the show! Gary Hart talked about it in his book and was pretty unimpressed by them.

To the AWA next, as Kevin Kelly beats some geek in an arm wrestling challenge and then beats him up. And then Curt Hennig joins Larry Nelson for an interview, fully into his heel role now. Larry Zbsyzko wants to prove he had nothing to do with Curt’s victory, so he challenges Curt to a title match to settle their beef, and of course Curt accepts that challenge. Larry Nelson is skeptical.

Off to Continental.

Bullwhip on a Pole: Wendell Cooley v. Dutch Mantel

Joined with Cooley making his comeback, but the ref is bumped, and Cooley is able to climb the pole and get the whip. But Dutch cuts him off with a clothesline and steals the whip, beating on Cooley with that, but the ref takes it away and tries to go after Dutch with it. Dutch attacks him, because he’s a wrestler named Ron West who was feuding with Dutch, and then Cooley gets the whip back and we get a dueling whip battle on the floor until security rushes out to pull them apart.

Hold on a sec, apparently the AWA ran a house show in Edmonton in July of 1987 according to the rundown here? I didn’t know they ever toured west of Winnipeg. That was a still a couple of years before I moved there, though. Unfortunately Cagematch doesn’t have it listed so I don’t know if it actually happened.

To the UWF…

UWF Tag team title: The Lightning Express v. Shaska Whatley & Enforcer #2

Joined with Shaska dropping elbows on Tim Horner, and it’s over to the Enforcer for a backdrop. Shaska with the abdominal stretch, but Brad Armstrong gets the hot tag and runs wild. Russian legsweep on the Enforcer, but Whaley hits him with a diving headbutt and puts the Enforcer on top for two. But then the ref puts Shaska out and Horner reverses the pin and puts Brad on top for the pin to retain.

Boni Blackstone has the Sound Off this week, where a grumpy fan complains about heels ganging up on babyfaces while the referees “have conversations with the managers”, showing that the more things change, the more wrestling stays the same.

Over to Portland…

Mike Miller v. Rip Oliver

Joined with a double down off a clothesline spot and Miller makes the comeback with a back elbow. Art Crews trips Miller up despite being handcuffed to Coco Samoa, but Rip Oliver goes to take care of Coco, and Miller gets the rollup for the pin.

To World Class….

Al Madril narrates a video package of his match with Brian Adias, as Brian unleashes a mysterious ORIENTAL PUNCH that left Al feeling concussed and woozy, kind of like what happens when you accidentally do some of Kerry’s drugs.

The Rock N Roll RPMs & Ted Arcidi v. Matt Borne, Tony Atlas & The Spoiler

Joined with Matt missing a Bombs Away off the hot tag, and Arcidi drops him on the top rope to allow the RPMs to come in and double-team Borne. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and Percy Pringle gets involved, so Borne puts a trash can on his head and beats on him for a DQ finish.

Over to Memphis…

Bill Dundee & Rocky Johnson v. Keith Erick & The Thunderbird

Rocky does some boxing and slams the rather large Thunderbird, and time is running out so Dundee comes in and they do stereo sleepers on the jobbers and finish them off.

To the Central States….

The Warlord & Porkchop Cash v. Bobby Jaggers & Bart Batten

This is quite the weird combination. Everyone is slugging it out and the ref gets tossed to the floor, so another ref comes in and gets clobbered just as fast, and everyone brawls until color commentator Ox Baker hits the ring and takes out the heels with the heart punch.

Meanwhile, Bill Apter interviews Linda Dallas, who now has to wear an arm brace for the REST OF HER LIFE because of extensive arm injuries sustained against Misty Blue Simmes. Craig Peters doesn’t see any damage to the arm and thinks that maybe Linda just wants to wear a weapon into the ring. Linda agrees that yeah, she’s probably gonna use it as a weapon and smash Misty’s face in.

To the WWF…

First up, the Heenan Family all ganged up on Ken Patera and strapped him. Then we get an interview with Jesse Ventura, who chats with Joe about an upcoming movie called “The Predator”. Apparently there’s some kind of plot twist, as Jesse describes it, but otherwise it’s a war movie. Sounds interesting!

Hard Boiled Haggerty v. Mike Valentino

This is of course the mat classic for the week, with Haggerty beating on Valentino’s leg and then cradling him for the pin.

Off to Stampede…

North American title: Owen Hart v. Rotten Ron Starr

Apparently young Owen is a candidate for PWI Rookie of the Year. Joined with Starr beating Owen down and slamming him, but he goes up and lands on the knees of Owen crotch-first. Owen goes up with his own flying splash, but he also hits the knees and bounces two feet in the air on the bump. Starr then goes up again and also misses, allowing Owent to come back with a belly to belly and kneedrop for two. So Owen goes up again and drops a flying elbow this time and gets the pin to retain as the crowd goes nuts. Owen was such a great babyface.

To Puerto Rico…

Abdullah the Butcher v. Sabu

Different Sabu of course. Joined with Abby spiking Sabu with his usual fork in the corner, and then he puts Sabu down with a karate chop to the throat, and finishes with the elbow drop.

And we wrap it up with the Wrestler of the Week: OWEN HART. Well deserved.

Next week: Apparently we have the in-ring return of 104 year old Ox Baker to look forward to. Lucky us.