The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide – 05.10.86

The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide – 05.10.86

Originally written 06.14.26

Taped from Spartanburg, SC on 05.06.86

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & David Crockett

LAST WEEK: Ron Garvin thought he had beaten Tully Blanchard for the National title, but Dusty Rhodes fucked it up for him.

Paul Jones joins us with Shaska, and promises that Jimmy Valiant won’t make it to the Great American Bash unless he buys a ticket. Because he’ll be BALD. Shaska notes that Manny Fernandez is “nothing but an off-brand colored boy” and thus poses no threat to them.

Tully Blanchard v. Gene Ligon

Gene takes him down with a headlock and Tully quickly reverses out of that and then finishes with the slingshot suplex at 0:50.

Jim Cornette joins David, and he has tape to show us, featuring a match from World Championship Wrestling with the Midnight Express taking on the mysterious James Boys/James Gang, which results in the masked men winning with double belly to belly suplexes. Corntte swears THAT THEY WILL BE GOTTEN as a result of this disrespect.

Nikita Koloff v. The Italian Stallion

Nikita runs him into the corners, but Stallion makes a comeback until he misses a dropkick. And the Russian Sickle finishes at 1:00.

Hector Guerrero & Manny Fernandez join us, and Hector speaks some Spanish but I’m pretty sure Manny doesn’t even speak it. I mean I’m sure he’d PRETEND he does. Manny claims that they’re cooking with SALSA and they’re CHILI HOT. But then he actually speak some Spanish so I guess he wasn’t lying. Anyway I kind of wish they had been around as a team longer because they were pretty awesome together.

Meanwhile, Jim Crockett is actually CHARGING people to wear a t-shirt with Baby Doll on it.

Baron Von Raschke & Shaska Whatley v. Rocky King & Denny Brown

Rocky grabs a headlock on the Baron while the fans chant “bald headed geek”, but that just makes Baron mad and he takes King down and beats on him. Over to Shaska with a headbutt on his ex-roommate as poor Rocky is just getting the worst of this storyline week after week. And the Baron loads up a black glove and puts Rocky out with the CLAW at 2:10. AND THAT IS ALL THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW.

Manny Fernandez joins David and he’s pretty sure that black glove is loaded with something dangerous and intended for either himself or Jimmy Valiant. And then Valiant storms in and ALL HE NEEDS IS WILLY WILLY.

The Road Warriors v. George South & Thunderfoot

Hawk hits South with an insane press slam and David is marking out for it, and then a backbreaker finishes him at 0:31. The look of terror on South’s face as he plummeted to the mat was tremendous and really sold it.

JJ Dillon joins David and he doesn’t recall giving Tully a roll of quarters last week. You see, the FANS got all excited and threw money in the ring to show much they love Tully.

Ric Flair joins us to talk about “little itty bitty Ricky Morton”, who can’t hope to touch Ric Flair and his expensive suits. So next up, he’s gonna go slap Road Warrior Hawk because he doesn’t care for the man.

Jim Crockett Jr. joins Tony to announce the upcoming Great American Bash tour and all the country music stars who will be playing.

Ivan Koloff v. Randy Mulkey

Mulkey tries a dropkick and gets nowhere with that, so Ivan drops him on the top rope and legdrops him before finishing with a cobra sleeper at 1:00.

Wahoo McDaniel talks about trying to reform from being a mean and nasty Indian, but Jimmy Garvin is making it hard on him by attacking him all the time. So we get footage of Wahoo beating a jobber and then suffering an attack from Garvin and Arn Anderson, and man that would make a hell of a team come to think of it. Also Wahoo notes that he looks like a giant turkey, so the heels better watch for any turkeys they see in the wild, because one of them might be Wahoo.

The Rock N Roll Express v. unknowns

Double dropkick finishes at 0:12.

Tully Blanchard joins David, reminding us that he’s still National champion despite Dusty cheating on his behalf.

The Midnight Express v. Sam Houston & Nelson Royal

Sam actually slugs away on Dennis in the corner to start, but he gets dropped with an atomic drop as Dennis takes over. Sam with a sunset flip for two, however, and he cleans house and chases them to the floor. Back in the ring, the babyfaces double-team Condrey in their corner and Nelson backdrops Bobby out of the corner and hits him with a kneelift. Back to Houston and he chases Dennis back to the corner and it’s back to Bobby. So he promptly presses Sam into a faceplant and Dennis adds a suplex. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA and Royal gets dumped, allowing the Express to double-team Houston. But this brings out THE JAMES BOYS and they take care of the Express and then produce a lasso and use it to kidnap Jim Cornette. So they hook him up to the back of their pickup truck neck-first and try to MURDER him, but thankfully Bobby Eaton gets out there and rescues him before he can die on national syndicated TV.

Afterwards, the James Boys do a promo, claiming to be the last two outlaws left in the country, drinking booze and raising hell with their friend Baby Doll. I have no idea who these two could be.

And David and Tony wrap it up, laughing about how Jim Cornette was nearly decapitated. Sickos.