The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide – 03.15.86

The SmarK Rant for NWA Worldwide – 03.15.86

Originally written 03.28.26

Apparently I skipped the 03.01.86 episode by mistake and NO ONE EVEN CORRECTED ME. You’re all fired.

Taped from Spartanburg, SC on 03.04.86 best I can tell.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & David Crockett

And we have BREAKING NEWS to start the show, as Tully Blanchard has indeed won the National title from Dusty Rhodes to pay off their six week deadline.

Jimmy Valiant joins us and sings some Little Richard to celebrate Paul Jones soon becoming a BALD HEADED GEEK.

Magnum TA v. The Golden Terror

TA sends him back to the Golden Showers at 0:18 with the belly to belly. Of more important note, TA now has the awesome US title belt that would be the standard for the next five years following and should be brought back if we’re being honest.

Meanwhile, the Russians have the contract for Nikita’s title shot, but the money is EMBARRASSING to the Kremlin and so now neither Russian will wrestle on TV until Magnum signs a contract that meets their terms. Who knew communists were such shrewd negotiators? So Nephew Nikita tears up the contract and tells Crockett to try it again.

Magnum TA is sick of these negotiations and just wants Nikita to sign a damn contract and be a man already.

Rocky King v. Thunderfoot

Mr. Foot beats on Rocky with forearms, but Rocky fights back with a crossbody before missing a dropkick. And then Thunderfoot finishes with a shoulderbreaker at 0:50. He didn’t even use his loaded boot! That’s his whole gimmick!

Arn Anderson joins David Crockett, and he’s sick of hearing about Dusty! ME TOO! TELL ‘EM, ARN! Arn brags about his best friend Tully winning the National title, so now they have all the titles and nothing left to win from Dusty. So they’re just gonna beat on him for fun for a while.

Jimmy Valiant v. George South

Elbowdrop finishes at 0:13.

The Midnight Express v. Mike Simiani & Gene Ligon

The MX finally have fully color coordinated gear now that they’re the World tag team champions. Ligon grabs a headlock on Condrey, but Dennis takes him down in the corner and Bobby beats on Gene in the corner. Over to Simiani, but the MX double-team him and finish with the Rocket Launcher at 1:47. RIP, Dennis.

Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin joins David with a riddle: What’s 300 pounds and smells like rotten beef jerky? WAHOO MCDANIEL! Garvin howling at his own joke makes it. But sadly he can’t face Wahoo because the man is nowhere to be found.

The Midnight Express join David and it’s still a foregone conclusion that they’re gonna be the #1 seed in this Crockett Cup thing coming up. Also the Rock N Roll Express are done and they’re moving onto other things, like Dusty Rhodes & Magnum TA, or the Road Warriors. Cornette points out that the Warriors could never be in the kind of shape that the Midnights are.

National title: Dusty Rhodes v. Tully Blanchard

So we actually get the whole match here, complete with entrances. Also Ric Flair is on commentary for moral support. That belt is hanging around Dusty’s waist with a prayer and a seat belt extension. Dusty slugs Tully down to start and then hits him with the bionic elbows to send him running to the corner. Dusty with a press slam and he goes to work on the leg, jumping onto the ankle with all his weight, which feels like a violation of the Geneva convention. Tully bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Tully limping back into the ring thanks to Dusty and his illegal boot, and he tries a headlock, but Dusty takes him down and puts him in the figure-four. Tully quickly makes the ropes and JJ massages the leg to get the blood flowing again. Dusty goes back to the leg as the match has incredible heat but it’s all Dusty laying on the mat and grabbing a hold so far. Dusty with a spinning toehold and Tully has to get to the ropes again. Finally he just kicks Dusty in the injured leg and Dusty bails to the floor, allowing Tully to attack him from behind and run him into the post. Baby Doll nurses him back to health again, but Tully goes to work on the leg as we take another break. And this time it’s Dusty laying on the mat on the RECEIVING end of a leglock, instead of giving it. Whichever agent figured out that you just have to pitch “Dusty laying on the mat selling his leg” to keep your job was a genius. Tully with a figure-four, but Dusty rolls him over and escapes. Dusty makes the comeback and puts him down with a dropkick and a football tackle but he goes for a slam and his leg gives out as we take a break. Back with Tully stomping on the bad leg and he hits the slingshot suplex for two. Those poor ropes. But then he tries it again and Dusty escapes before hitting a lariat to make the comeback. Dusty with a flip flop and fly to set up the sleeper and Tully is fading, but Dusty goes after JJ instead, allowing Dillon to throw knuckles into the ring. And Tully swings with those, but Dusty backdrops him over the top behind the ref’s back. This allows Ric Flair to leave the desk and give Tully the knuckles again. So Dusty tries the suplex back into the ring, and Tully hits him with the object and pins him to win the title at 17:57. Man they literally stole that finish direct from Randy Savage v. Tito Santana a couple of weeks before. The Horsemen attack Dusty and then go after Baby Doll, and the arena comes UNGLUED before Magnum makes the save. This was indeed yet another Dusty-Tully match, just like every other one they ever had. **1/2. But it felt like a BIGTIME main event and the heat for this was incredible.

Tully Blanchard joins David to gloat about the win, and JJ Dillon promises that Dusty Rhodes gets NO REMATCH because he doesn’t deserve it, so now he can get lost and go do something else.

I didn’t particularly love the match but this one felt like a HUGE episode and paid off the “countdown to the National title win” storyline.