The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 12.01.90

The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 12.01.90

Do you really care if I review the other half of Dynamite? I don’t. Nothing happening on that show can top the epic slapfight happening in the real world today anyway.

It’s the last ever NWA Power Hour episode! But no one running the gauntlet this week. Regardless, you’d think with a momentous occasion like this, they’d do something besides recycle the other tapings for this show, but YOU’D BE WRONG.

Taped from Center Stage in Atlanta, GA, on 11.05.90 and tacked on the end of a World Championship Wrestling taping from the same time, so this one is older and moldier than cheese that’s been in the back of the fridge since last Christmas.

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Paul E. Dangerously

Tom Zenk v. Barry Horowitz

Zenk quickly gets a rollup for two and goes to the armbar as Jim puts over the Z-Man as being on a tremendous roll for the past weeks, despite his complete absence from TV as far as I can remember. However, this was WCW’s amazingly nuanced buildup for him winning the TV title from Arn Anderson shortly. They trade hammerlocks and Barry goes to the backrakes and hits him with a kneelift, but Zenk pops up to the middle rope with a missile dropkick. Barry backs off and begs for mercy, so Zenk goes up and finishes him with a flying bodypress at 3:33.

Sid Vicious v. Dave Taylor

Sid puts this goof down with a kneelift and beats on him while JR hypes up the most random fucking match in WCW history, with the Skyscrapers reuniting for one match at Starrcade to face the Night Stalker & Big Cat for no reason I can possibly think of. I never understood that one. Sid with a corner splash on Taylor and he puts him down with a lariat out of the corner, and then the powerbomb finishes at 2:40.

WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!

Thankfully we don’t get another replay of the Sting-Scorpion bit at Halloween Havoc this week, but we DO get a replay of the Scorpion disappearing at Clash 13. And then we take you back to World Championship Wrestling on 11/17, as Sting wins a squash and then the Black Scorpion uses a post-hypnotic suggestion over the PA system and compels the referee to attack Sting and choke him out with a shirt. OK, THAT would have been a far more interesting use of the magic powers if they had done it with any consistency. Like a Manchurian Candidate deal where anyone could be the Scorpion’s secret assassin and take out Sting.

DOOM v. Pablo Crenshaw & Mark White

White gets double-teamed for a bit and it’s over to Crenshaw, who has trouble taking a double elbow from Doom for some reason, and then Reed goes up with a flying shoulderblock and pins him with one foot at 2:49. Poor Doom kept getting all these terrible jobbers who couldn’t take their stuff for whatever reason.

Meanwhile, we hear from Teddy Long and then the Horsemen, who have now suddenly switched members and turned into Barry Windham & Arn Anderson in advance of Starrcade.

The Steiner Brothers v. Mark Kyle & Johnny B. Good

Scott takes Kyle down and works the leg, and then tosses him before hauling him back in and then throwing him out again. This brings out the Nasty Boys to watch while refs try to convince them to leave. Yeah, they left all right. Finally we get Johnny B. Good into the ring and Rick beats on him for a bit in the corner as the guy can barely even take a punch before going down to the mat and covering up. Rick is amused as how useless he is, so Scott tosses him into the corner to tag out to Kyle again, because Kyle can at least take a bump, and Scott finishes with the Frankensteiner at 4:05. Man that guy was so terrible they should have called him, I dunno, Johnny B. Awful or Johnny B. Not Good or something instead. I dunno, I’ll workshop names and come up with something later.

The Freebirds v. Tommy Rich & Ricky Morton

Oh damn that babyface team is like Dave Meltzer’s 1984 nightmare team. Morton puts Hayes down with a back elbow while JR ponders what “PS” stands for. Obviously it means “Pancake Slammer”, due to his famous love of breakfast foods. Rich and Morton use their babyface wiles to double-team Garvin for a bit, but Bobby Eaton comes out and distracts Ricky, allowing Hayes to hit a DDT for the pin at 4:20 in a complete nothing of a match. But before they can do a heel beatdown, El Gigante makes the save and chases everyone off. They actually had a REMATCH of this shitty match at Starrcade, and it ALSO sucked. I’m starting to think that the Freebirds just aren’t very good.

Stan Hansen v. Allen Iron Eagle

Mr. Eagle tries a slam on Stan and he’s having none of that and just refuses to go up for him, so Allen grabs a headlock instead and Stan takes him down and puts the boots to him. Stan misses a blind charge and Allen does his ridiculous wardance, so Stan just ignores him and puts him down with a sideslam with a “GTFO” look on his face, and then finishes with the lariat at 2:24. Iron Eagle getting clobbered by the lariat in slow motion is the best thing about this entire episode. That was glorious.

And that’s the official end of the NWA branding for this show, as next week debuts with a WHOLE NEW NAME and we get the final running of the gauntlet to boot.