Power Hour
Rants

The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 09.28.90

By Scott Keith on 8 April 2025

The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 09.28.90

Last time, Scott Steiner managed to RUN THE GAUNTLET successfully despite some heavy competition. Can Bobby Eaton do the same this time? Tonight, Tracy Smothers! Saturday night, Ricky Morton! Sunday night…Sid. Well, I’m sure he’ll try really hard and that’s the important thing.

Taped from Gainesville, GA

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Paul E. Dangerously

The Blade Hunter v. Dave Diamond

Yes, Blade Hunter is of course good old Al Green, the future holder of many stupid gimmicks in WCW. Initially he replaced Iron in the Master Blasters and then later on got repackaged into the Wrecking Crew, and most notoriously many years later was The Dog in late era WCW. Blade takes Diamond down and rubs his face in the mat and then tosses him and back in with a suplex as the announcers discuss Blade’s origins from the Island of Man, which I believe recently had 50% reciprocal tariffs imposed on all exported talent. Luckily Al Green was completely safe from paying anything on that. Press slam into a samoan drop finishes at 3:30.

WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!

Last week on WCW Pro, the Horsemen have a match with Pillman & Zenk that looks like it might have ruled, but Doom runs in for the DQ and they brawl, setting up the tag team title match at Halloween Havoc. Gordon suggests calling our local cable company now because it’ll be a night of wrestling competition. Strong words.

Buddy Landel v. Allen Iron Eagle

Apparently young Allen is only 18 years old here, although he’s got the hair of a man at least twice that age. Allen gets a dropkick off a headlock, but Buddy chops him and runs him into the corner and they do an amazingly terrible reversal sequence where Iron Eagle has no fucking clue what he’s supposed to do and Buddy has to physically grab him and throw him down. So Allen goes after the arm and Buddy chops him again in the corner and gets his own armbar while Dangerously just buries the kid on commentary. Well deserved, he’s never going to amount to ANYTHING. Buddy puts him down with a back elbow and just holds him down for the pin at 2:55. This punk should have retired right then and there, and the business would have been better off for it. Talk about someone with ZERO upside.

Brian Pillman v. Basher

Look I know shit is terrible right now but there’s a definite opening for an indie promotion to book an updated Mod Squad team as ICE agents who go around kidnapping luchadors. Pillman finishes with Air Pillman at 3:14 and continues to go nowhere in 1990.

Meanwhile, Jim Cornette interviews Teddy Long about Doom messing with the Horsemen, which is going to work out badly for the Horsemen in his eyes. Oh, and Jim Cornette throws it to the WCW Top Ten.

Oh man, did someone say the WCW Top Ten?

Important Notice Regarding WCW Top Ten™

The WCW Top Ten™ is a semi-sentient informational construct that may or may not qualify as a legally consumable product depending on your species, planetary zoning laws, or current state of metaphysical coherence. It is not intended for use by children under the age of 42, nor by adults who have recently experienced existential dread, professional wrestling flashbacks, or inexplicable longing for biscuits.

While generally considered harmless, the WCW Top Ten™ has been known to induce mild-to-moderate bewilderment, accidental enlightenment, and, in rare cases, the spontaneous appearance of a small door labeled “Do Not Enter (Unless You Brought Snacks).” Side effects include but are not limited to: auditory hallucinations of crowd chants in empty rooms, the inability to distinguish between list items and life lessons, and a firm belief that Tuesdays are a conspiracy.

Do not consume WCW Top Ten™ if you are allergic to nonsense, allergic to sense, or have recently interacted with a creature whose name contains more vowels than the average philosophical debate.

Please consult your physician, spiritual advisor, and local librarian before beginning any WCW Top Ten™ regimen. They won’t be able to help, but it’s good to keep them in the loop. If you experience dizziness, euphoria, déjà vu from a timeline you’ve never lived, or a growing awareness of the fourth wall, discontinue use immediately and sit down with a warm cup of improbability.

WCW Top Ten™ is banned in twelve dimensions, five time zones, and one particularly judgmental book club. If accidentally transported to the year 1997, do not interact with your past self, even if they also enjoy the WCW Top Ten™. It only encourages them.

By reading this disclaimer, you have already agreed to its terms, which are legally non-binding in most realities but still frowned upon by several minor deities.

Should symptoms persist, consider writing your own list. We recommend starting with “1. Stop reading disclaimers.”

And now, please enjoy the following testimonials about the WCW Top Ten.

“Before WCW Top Ten™, I was just an ordinary time-displaced librarian trying to alphabetize a black hole. Now, thanks to WCW Top Ten™, I finally understand the difference between a suplex and a paradox—and I’ve made peace with the fact that both of them might be my uncle. Five stars, would accidentally ingest again.”
— Quentin D. Farnstable, Esq., Honorary Consul to the Eighth Moon of Gloucester

“At first, I thought WCW Top Ten™ was a breakfast cereal. Turns out it’s more of a metaphysical snack. Crunchy, confusing, and inexplicably nostalgic. My third eye won’t stop winking.”
— Belinda Gratch, amateur sky cartographer and part-time toaster whisperer

“I took WCW Top Ten™ once and woke up in an alternate timeline where disco never died and everyone communicates via elbow drop. 10/10, would recommend to people who enjoy lists, chaos, and inexplicable jazz hands.”
— Clive “Danger” Butterworth, former lounge singer, current paradox

“After reading WCW Top Ten™, I finally understand my dreams, my taxes, and why pigeons always seem to know more than they let on. It’s like enlightenment, but with more folding chairs.”
— Dr. Euphemia J. Krill, Time Philosopher and reluctant mime

THE WCW TOP TEN TAG TEAMS:

  1. The Steiner Brothers
  2. The Horsemen
  3. The Midnight Express
  4. The Rock N Roll Express
  5. The Freebirds
  6. The Southern Boys
  7. Brian Pillman & Tom Zenk
  8. The Samoan Swat Team
  9. Tim Horner & Mike Rotunda
  10. The Nasty Boys

THE WCW TOP TEN:

  1. Lex Luger
  2. Sid Vicious
  3. Ric Flair
  4. Arn Anderson
  5. Stan Hansen
  6. Brian Pillman
  7. Barry Windham
  8. Terry Taylor
  9. JYD
  10. Tommy Rich

RUNNING THE GAUNTLET: Bobby Eaton v. Tracy Smothers

JR and Paul teaming up to jointly slag Jim Cornette is wonderful to hear. Paul confirms that although he thinks Cornette is pond scum, he does feel like Eaton is a tremendous talent who he would love to manage someday. So again, the concept is that if Bobby can beat Tracy, Ricky and Sid in order over the weekend, he gets $15,000. If he’s unable to beat any of the three, all three opponents get $5000. They trade takedowns to start and Bobby backs off to think it over. Paul notes that Missy Hyatt is the only person where you can say “Her career is a bust” and mean it as a compliment. They fight for a lockup and Eaton gets a shot in the corner off that, but Tracy hits him with a shoulder block out of the corner for two. Bobby bails for some advice from Cornette, and back in Tracy gets a bodypress for two and chases Bobby to the floor again. Bobby hides behind Cornette, but Jim ducks to save himself and poor Bobby takes a superkick as a result. Back in the ring, Eaton with a neckbreaker for two and a lariat for two. Meanwhile Paul imagines the Southern Boys showing up for the New York show waving the confederate flag and going “Hey y’all!”. His theory is that New York will tell them YO MAMA and run them out of town. You know WCW would be dumb enough to try it, though. Tracy comes back with a suplex and slugs away on Eaton, and they break the damn ring! The ropes sag off Eaton taking the ropes, so they quickly go home with Tracy trying to go to the top and Cornette tripping him up, putting Eaton on top for the pin at 7:30. So that’s 1-0 for Bobby, with Ricky Morton up next on World Championship Wrestling. They were having a good match before it suddenly fell apart (literally!) at the end. ***

Meanwhile, at Clash 12, Stan Hansen attacks Lex Luger and chokes him out with the bullrope to set up their US title match at Halloween Havoc. We get a promo from Stan as he promises to track Luger even when he’s taking out the garbage, so he better be looking over his shoulder! Uh oh, hopefully nothing happens at the Hall of Fame induction.

OK, Beautiful Bobby has two more shots at winning $15,000, so let’s move onto World Championship Wrestling from 09/29/90 and see how he does.

RUNNING THE GAUNTLET PART 2: Bobby Eaton v. Ricky Morton

They fight for the lockup and Ricky gets a hiptoss out of the corner as apparently these guys some kind of history together according to Bob Caudle? Who knew? Bobby tries it again and Ricky takes him down again. Ricky works the arm while Cornette makes threats from ringside. JR explains the rules, which oddly rule out a draw from happening, as the ref will decide the winner in the case of time limit expiring. You’d think that a draw would be the same as a loss for the runner because it’s on them to win. Ricky takes Bobby down with a rana and Bobby retreats in frustration as we take a break. Back with Ricky running Bobby into the ringpost outside as they brawl up the aisle, and Ricky hiptosses him on the floor and wants a countout. “Cornette waddling to his man’s aid” notes JR. Back in the ring, they slug it out in the corner, but Bobby alley-oops him into the top turnbuckle and Ricky takes a great bump off that. That gets two. Bobby with a SWEET twisting suplex for two. Ricky gets tossed and Cornette spears him with the racket behind the ref’s back. Interestingly we get the 10:00 call here, which means that the commercial break only omitted 30 seconds of the match. Maybe that’s just interesting to me, I dunno. Back in the ring, Eaton tries for the pin and Cornette provides some inspirational words to Ricky, but that just gets him fired up, so Eaton slugs him down again for two. Bobby with a spinning back suplex for two. He’s such a great worker, always doing interesting stuff with simple moves. Ricky fights back again, so Bobby pokes him in the eye. Good thing it wasn’t Robert out there, it wouldn’t have worked. Bobby gets two and then hits the single arm DDT and goes to a hammerlock. Cornette feels like Ricky should probably just give it up. Ricky fights out, but misses a charge and hits the corner with his bad shoulder. Ricky keeps fighting with a suplex with time running out, but Bobby misses a blind charge and crotches himself in the corner. Ricky with a small package for two. Rollup gets two as time expires at 15:00. So we get an overtime period of 5:00 and take another break. Back with Eaton getting a slam for two and slugging away in the corner while Stan Lane joins us at ringside to ensure fair refereeing. Suplex gets two. Cornette brings the racket in, but Ricky runs Bobby into that and goes up with a bodypress. But then Cornette takes the ref and Stan trips up Ricky, allowing Bobby to finish with a high knee at 16:46. This was GREAT. ***3/4.

And so on Main Event, Bobby’s got one last hurdle to clear for 15K.

RUNNING THE GAUNTLET PART 3: Bobby Eaton v. Sid Vicious

Well stranger things have happened I suppose. Bobby takes a shot and Sid beats him down in the corner and follows with a running shoulderblock before stomping him down. Sid with the big boot and Bobby goes flying out of the ring off that. Bobby tries a sunset flip and Sid just sits down on him. Bobby keeps fighting from underneath here and manages to slug Sid down and dropkicks him for two, but Sid cuts him off with a side slam and pins him definitively at 2:00 to win himself $5000. Well he didn’t get powerbombed in 30 seconds so I count that as a win.

Next week: They didn’t actually mention who’s the next contestant. Well I guess we’ll find out together.