The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 09.14.90

The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 09.14.90

So after a week off for sports stuff on TBS, it’s time for the debut of a new concept called RUNNING THE GAUNTLET.

Taped from Gainesville, Georgia

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Paul E. Dangerously

Terry Taylor v. Barry Horowitz

JR announces that Brian Pillman’s gauntlet will be Tim Horner tonight, and then Buddy Landel on Saturday night, and then Dan Spivey for all the money on Sunday. If he beats all three guys he makes $15000 cash, and if he loses to any of the guys, the opponents all make $5000. Taylor gets a slam and Barry retreats to the corner while JR explains the difference between a “forearm” and a “five-arm”, which is that the five-arm is one better than the forearm. Paul makes sure to take notes about this. Taylor with a jawbreaker and he misses a blind charge, allowing Horowitz to get some offense in the corner to take over. Gut wrench gets two, but Terry gets a backslide for two. Barry with a nice cradle for two, but Taylor puts him down with a neckbreaker and drops a knee for two. Barry misses a clothesline and Taylor finishes with the FIVE-ARM at 4:44. Pretty good little match actually.

Dangerous Dan Spivey v. Lou Perez

Spivey is making quite the fashion statement this week, making his return to the NWA with cheetah print tights with fringe on them, plus bright red boots and a neon pink headband. I mean, you’ve GOTTA be tough to walk around the streets dressed like that. Spivey with an overhead suplex on Perez and he hits Perez with a clothesline and drops him on the top rope before putting the boots to him in the corner. Spivey with a big boot and the powerbomb finishes at 2:53. Not exactly an inspiring debut but Spivey had some good matches in this run.

Meanwhile, JR and Paul E are at the China Club in New York, and Paul offers to buy drinks for everyone in the club using an expired credit card. It was probably Ole’s.

WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH BOB CAUDLE!

Gordon Solie is passed out drunk in the back on vacation so Caudle steps in. So we get footage of Flair doing a promo in the locker room, but Doom barges in and demands that he get the hell out of their locker room, prompting an argument between them and the Horsemen. So we get a promo from Teddy Long declaring NO BELT FOR THEM and then the Horsemen reply, as AA notes that the only reason Flair and Anderson had never been tag team champions is that they never thought about it. Well both guys were multiple time tag team champions with other partners, so I’d assume they thought about it at SOME point.

Back at the fake studio, Brian Pillman joins Bob and talks about RUNNING THE GAUNTLET and facing the awesome challenge of Tim Horner.

The Rock N Roll Express v. Mike Thor & JD Wolfe

The jobbers sound like failed lead singers of hair metal bands in the 80s. Wolfe takes Ricky to the corner with a lockup but then immediately makes the mistake of pointing to his head to indicate intelligence and gets hit with a kneelift. Robert comes in with a sunset flip for two, so Thor comes in and Robert works the arm. Paul: “Robert is jealous of the beautiful haircut that Mike Thor has. It’s the Barney Rubble look! Joe Blockhead cut it.” God I’ve missed Paul on commentary. The RNR double-team Thor and Robert backdrops him and takes him down with a headlock. So we’re back to JD Wolfe, in no danger of suffering a hairpull while the announcers riff on Wolfe’s ridiculous barber pole striped gear. RNR with a double elbow as this drags on, and Robert takes Wolfe down with another headlock. Ricky with a facelock and he follows with a suplex as they are working this squash at a VERY leisurely pace, and they finally finish with the double dropkick at 5:44.

The Freebirds v. Zan Panzer & Pat Rose

Rose with a wristlock on Hayes while Paul discusses Sinead O’Connor and unsurprisingly Jim Ross is not a fan. Rose with a sunset flip for two while Paul notes that the Freebirds have another surprise member ready to be introduced, and it’s not Buddy Roberts or Terry Gordy. That narrows it down to Little Richard Marley, Big Daddy Dink, Diamond Dallas Page, or Badstreet. Hayes with a sleeper on Rose and the Freebirds double-team him in the corner, and it’s over to Panzer. Hayes beats on him in the corner while JR sarcastically notes that Zan is “from Europe” and wonders where exactly that is. I think it was the country of Nepotamia. Garvin finishes with the DDT at 4:40.

Jim Cornette joins us with special guest Sid Vicious, who has challenged Sting to a World title match at Halloween Havoc.

RUNNING THE GAUNTLET: Tim Horner v. Brian Pillman

They trade wristlocks and Horner goes for the headlock, but Pillman takes him down with an armbar while Paul E. explains the gauntlet concept from the perspective of being the viewer who might not understand the deal. That’s a tremendously valuable viewpoint that a lot of wrestling companies miss. Also I should note that Pillman making $15,000 for three matches work is probably 1000% better than his contract with Ole Anderson called for. They trade takedowns on the mat and Pillman goes with another armdrag and works that on the mat. They keep reversing that and trade monkey flips before Horner goes back to a headlock. They collide for a double down and Horner recovers first with a sleeper, but Pillman reverses to his own and backslides Horner for the pin at 7:30. So he moves onto Budro on Saturday now. Match didn’t really go anywhere. **

And we finish back at the China Club with Paul and JR, as the waitress wants Paul to sign the cheque and pay for all the drinks, which total $4800. Well, good thing we know Paul E. Dangerously would never stiff anyone on a bill after promising to pay them.

Next week: Another gauntlet begins!

I’m really enjoying this show since Paul returned last week.