The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 06.08.90

The SmarK Rant for NWA Power Hour – 06.08.90

I gave up on this era a while back but I feel like I should continue with it again and give it another chance. I mean, Clash 11 is coming up, that looks like it could be a banger! Also I’m trying to avoid going back to Superstars 96 as long as possible because there’s too much Vince McMahon all over it.

Your host is Jim Ross, as we don’t have a green screen open at the “arena” any longer for whatever reason.

BREAKING NEWS: Fans, some of whom might be real, are referring to the team of Sting, Paul Orndorff & Junkyard Dog as THE SUPERHEROES. Checks out.

Doug Furnas v. Cactus Jack Manson

Jack grabs a headlock and there are literally empty seats on the camera side in the front row. Come on, that’s some AWA level shit right there. Get seat fillers! Furnas escapes with a suplex and Jack takes a wild bump to the floor and smashes his own head into the railing for good measure, because Mick Foley. Back in the ring, Doug works the arm and takes him down with a Fujiwara armbar. Jack manages to escape that and clubs away on Furnas with forearms before hitting a clothesline for two. Furnas with a backslide for two and he hits a nice dropkick for the pin at 3:40. But still, a DROPKICK? Even in the backwards prehistoric world of (checks notes) 1990 that wasn’t exactly state of the art offense.

The Road Warriors v. Barry Windham & Arn Anderson

We’re joined in progress from World Championship Wrestling the week before, as the Horsemen clip Animal’s knee and double-team him in the corner. Barry with a back suplex and powerslam for two. Arn puts the boots to Animal and demands a knee from Barry, but Animal sends Arn into his own partner and makes the comeback with a clothesline for the double down. Barry tries to go to the top and gets slammed off, and then collides for another double down. Animal up first with a suplex and it’s hot tag Hawk and he’s a house of fire. I’m assuming his house caught on fire because he was smoking meth in the bedroom and fell asleep. And then Sid runs in for the DQ at 4:00 aired, which is too bad because they were having a pretty decent match here. But then the ref changes his mind and unrings the bell, so the match continues with Arn tripping up Animal and Barry getting two of that. And then Sid runs in AGAIN and it’s another DQ, for real this time. Luckily Sting makes the save for the Warriors, apparently totally over getting brutally betrayed and bloodied by them just a year before. And this would be the final appearance of the Road Warriors in the NWA, as this was taped on 5/23/90 and aired on 06/02/90 and their last match in the promotion was 05/28/90. And of course they couldn’t even do a job on the way out, needing TWO DQs in the same match to keep them strong. No wonder they were considered to be not worth the exorbitant amount of money they were demanding.

WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK with Gordon Solie

Ole Anderson is under investigation for his role in helping Ric Flair retain the title at Capital Combat, but DON’T WORRY, because Junkyard Dog has appeared in the NWA and he’s after Ric Flair. We get clips of JYD returning and attacking Flair, as JR declares that he’s all man. I mean, he looks like at least 3 men stuffed into one body at that point, so I guess that’s accurate. Also Gordon continues trying to convince us that all the kids are calling Sting’s group the SUPERHEROES.

The Freebirds v. Paul Drake & Johnny Ace

Oh sure I get away from Vince and now it’s his co-rapist bootlicker I have to watch instead. Johnny manages to hold off both Freebirds with hiptosses and he controls Garvin with a headlock, much like he allegedly enjoyed controlling women who reported to him. Over to Paul Drake, who looks like someone’s dad that REALLY got into bodybuilding as a hobby, and the Freebirds begin their grand stalling tradition to slow it down again. Hayes with a chinlock on Drake, but Drake comes back with a slam and goes to an armbar. Drake tags in Ace, just like how Vince allegedly tagged him into perverted threesomes against the will of their victims, but Hayes slugs away on Johnny in the corner. Johnny comes back with a bodypress out of the corner for two and goes to an armbar. So now, literally halfway through this taped show, Jim Ross suddenly shifts from THE SUPERHEROES to instead referring to the Sting/JYD/Orndorff trio as the Dudes With Attitudes instead. To call this company disorganized in 1990 would be kind of an understatement. Back to Drake, and he gets necked in the Freebird corner, allowing Hayes to finish with the DDT at 9:13. Yes they went damn near TEN MINUTES for this shitty Freebird squash match.

Meanwhile, Jim Ross has just been handed a note that Lex Luger v. Sid Vicious has been added to the Clash card, even though we literally have had that match announced and discussed multiple times during this show already. Ole Anderson discusses that match on behalf of the Horsemen. He’s not saying that they’re gonna cheat, but they’re gonna make sure that Flair retains the title by any means necessary.

US tag team title: The Midnight Express v. Brian Pillman & Tom Zenk

Hell of a main event here, I’ll give them that. The Express won the belts in an awesome match at Capital Combat and this is the rematch. The Midnights are prevented from entering the ring due to shenanigans from the babyfaces, but Lane comes in first with a headlock on Zenk and Tom hiptosses him to escape right away. Meanwhile JR wonders if Cornette is “award-winning” because he was able to eat the most Wendy’s triple burgers. Zenk gets a slam on Lane and chases him to the corner, and Pillman comes in and dropkicks Lane to the floor for a nice bump. Cornette regroups his team and Lane hits Pillman with a karate kick, but then Pillman ducks and Eaton gets nailed in the crossfire. Bobby comes in and slugs away in the corner, but Pillman takes him down with a headscissors for two and Bobby is all befuddled. Back to Lane and he gets pinballed by the babyfaces in the corner and then Pillman literally kicks him in the ass and sends him to the floor. Back in, it’s over to Bobby and Pillman works the arm and then pops up for a victory roll, but Bobby just drops him like a hot potato in a tremendous bump and Brian is your face-in-peril. Stan with a neckbreaker and he makes sure to give him a talking down, and Bobby puts the boots to him for good measure. Lane with the KARATE BLOWS and he drops Pillman on the top rope and then kicks him back down as well in another great spot. Bobby comes in and goes to the top, but Pillman dropkicks him from the mat and makes the hot tag to Zenk. He slugs away on Lane in the corner, but Bobby comes off the top with a double axehandle behind the ref’s back and Lane adds a clothesline and gets the pin at 9:40. Simple and fun tag team wrestling. ***

And we finish with the SUPERHEROES DUDES WITH ATTITUDES, who all have bodacious matches at the Clash this Wednesday. Except for Sting, who is still recovering from that knee injury and can’t wrestle yet.

Oh 1990 WCW, how can I quit you? I can’t. And then I guess I gotta redo Clash 11 next. Lucky me.