The SmarK Rant for AEW World’s End – 12.30.23

The SmarK Rant for AEW World’s End 2023 – 12.30.23

I had started this on Saturday night but I had other things going on in my life at the time and couldn’t get into it, so now that I’ve got a day off I might as well wrap it up before Dynamite.

Live from Long Island, New York

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Nigel McGuinness

All Star 8 Man Tag: Brody King, Jay Lethal, RUSH & Jay White v. Mark Briscoe, Bryan Danielson, Daniel Garcia & Claudio Castagnoli

Aw, Daddy Magic on commentary is such a proud papa. Rush and Claudio trade shots to start and yell at each other LIKE MEN, so Claudio clotheslines him and then gets backdropped to the floor. Everyone knows the Swiss and Mexicans hate each other passionately. Over to Lethal, who walks into some redneck kung fu from Briscoe, and they trade chops. Mark wins that one and it’s over to Bryan and Switchblade. White goes for the eye and Danielson takes him down for the hold, but White escapes and beats on him with chops. So Bryan absorbs those and fires back with his own before beating him into the corner with kicks and then takes him out of the corner with a top rope rana. Bryan with the Yes kicks, but young Daniel tags himself in and ends up with Brody King. Garcia throws down with him and Daddy Magic isn’t sure about that plan, and indeed Brody slams him and takes him to the floor for a further beating. Brody also talks some quality shit to Daddy Magic, and the heels take over. Rush beats on Garcia in the ring and Nigel is now working “rizz” into commentary on a regular basis. The heels beat on Garcia in their corner and White gets two off that.

White keeps beating him down with chops and slams because he’s an unlikeable dick, but Garcia fights his way out of the corner and makes a hot tag to Mark Briscoe. Mark cleans house and slugs White off the top rope and everyone brawls on the floor as Briscoe elbows Rush off the apron and then hits White with a fisherman’s buster for two. But then White suplexes him to the floor and the heels take over again. Lethal takes him to the top rope for a superplex, but Claudio comes back in again and goes after Brody. They throw down in the corner and Claudio wins that one and then somehow gets a delayed suplex on Brody for two. Physics would like a word about that one. But then Brody and Rush hit stereo cannonballs and Brody gets two on Claudio, but Claudio reverses him into the Giant Swing, with Danielson dropkicking Brody in the head for two. Back to Garcia, who slugs away on Lethal, but walks into the Lethal Combination and figure-four. Briscoe saves him with the froggy ‘bo, and everyone hits the finishers, but then Garcia drops King with a Saito Suplex and cradles Lethal for the pin at 17:19. And proud papa Daddy Magic gets nailed by Brody King on the way out of the ring, which I guess sets up something down the line there as well. Good for Garcia, who should have been given the run that Andrade got in the tournament. This was a super fun opener, with non-stop action. ****

Miro v. Andrade El Idolo

CJ Perry is a trooper, making it to ringside with her finger bandaged after the horrifying infection that we all wish she wouldn’t have shared with us. Miro smashes Andrade during his entrance and beats on him with forearms, but Andrade tosses him and tries a dive, only to walk into another forearm. Back in the ring, Miro tosses him with a Saito suplex while CJ blames him for her finger infection. Women, AMIRITE FELLAS? Miro chokes away and the crowd is dead, and he cuts off an Andrade comeback with a uranage. To the floor for a brawl out there, but Andrade runs him into the table and Miro takes kind of an overblown bump off that. They head back into the ring and Miro gets a superplex as this is already 5 minutes longer than it should have been. The dude is literally on his LAST NIGHT IN THE PROMOTION, just smash him and wish him well on his future endeavors. Andrade takes out the knee and comes back on the floor, moonsaulting Miro out there and running him into the stairs. Back in for the double moonsault, which gets two. But then he charges and runs into the superkick from Miro, which gets two. It appears to be GAME OVER for Andrade, but he makes the ropes to break while CJ keeps distracting her husband. Andrade with the running back elbow for two. Andrade goes after the knee again and gets the figure-eight, but Miro reverses the hold. Andrade turns it over again and bridges again, but then CJ turns on him and breaks up the hold, which finally wakes up the crowd. And it’s MACHKA KICK for two, and Game Over at 15:11. Way too long for what it was and we all knew where the story was going to go, but I will say I liked it a lot better on second viewing. ***. Still though, it should have been a one-minute squash, with Perry turning on Andrade and then Miro smashing him to send him to WWE.

AEW Women’s title: Timeless Toni Storm v. Riho

Toni is once again hugely over as a babyface with this gimmick. But hey, starting next week you can play the version of Toni Storm from 2 years ago in Fight Forever! Finger on the pulse there. Riho gets a bulldog for two and dodges a charge from Toni, but she dives and lands on Luther instead. So Toni slams her and that gets two. The reinvention of Dr. Luther here has been another low key great character turn. They took a nothing job guy hired as a favor to Jericho and made it a major part of the World champion’s act. Storm with some slams for two, but Riho gets a rollup for two. Storm with a short powerbomb for two. Toni works the back with a half crab and tosses Riho, but she beats the count back in. Toni with a cloverleaf while Luther pulls the ropes away, and that earns him a trip to the back. And the crowd boos that! This allows Riho to make the comeback with a flying bodypress and a slam for two. To the floor and Riho gets a bodypress out there. Back in for a dragon suplex, and that gets two. Storm comes back with Storm Zero, which gets SHOCKED TWO COUNT FACE, but Riho rolls her up for two. Riho goes up and Toni yanks her down and finishes with a DDT to retain at 11:40. As usual, Timeless Toni is a fantastic gimmick And Then The Bell Rings. This one did not work particularly well. **. It’s also a tricky thing because Storm is clearly the biggest star in the division and should absolutely be World champion, but she’s still trying to figure out to how the gimmick around the in-ring stuff and it’s not working yet.

Meanwhile, Dante Martin challenges Orange Cassidy for the International title on Dynamite. Man for as good as Orange’s initial reign was, the second one is making the belt look like a majorly second-class belt.

Swerve Strickland v. Dustin Rhodes

Swerve lays him out before the bell and destroys him on the floor, then smashes a cinder block on his ankle and the crowd still cheers. Make this man the champion. But the refs try to carry Dustin out and he wants to continue in the name of Keith Lee, and Swerve is fine with that. So Swerve beats him down and decides to teach him a lesson, going after the ankle with a dropkick in the corner. They slug it out and Dustin makes a comeback with a destroyer and powerslam for two. Dustin with the Shattered Nuts and a piledriver to set up the Crossroads, which gets two. They should call that one Finish the Story to be funny. But Swerve pops up with the Flatliner and goes after the leg again with a stretch muffler. Dustin fights out and slaps him, so Swerve gives him the House Call kick, and then finishes with the Swerve Stomp at 9:25. This was another one that was waaaaaaaaaay too long and just served to make the show longer than needed. *1/2. Swerve is a bright shining star is Dustin is a guy who wrestles on TV occasionally, destroy him and move on with the show.

Chris Jericho, Sammy Guevara, Darby Allin & Sting v. Ricky Starks, Big Bill, Powerhouse Hobbs & Konosuke Takeshita

The fans sing Jericho’s song and then boo him mightily. And you thought Philly fans were fickle. The babyfaces work on Takeshita to start and the crowd does not care for Jericho. So Takeshita hits him with the Warrior clothesline and it’s over to Hobbs. Hey ‘member when Hobbs completely destroyed Jericho that time and it led to absolutely nothing for him while Jericho kept getting pushed? Good times. Big Bill slams Jericho awkwardly, but Darby comes in and rolls up Takeshita for two. Takeshita with a Chaos Theory, but Darby rolls out of that and gets a Code Red for two. They head to the top and Takeshita gets a Blue Thunder Bomb off the top, which ends up as a transition move as it just leads to Darby getting the heat in the heel corner. Bill and Hobbs team up to throw Darby into the corner like a literal sack of garbage, but Starks tries a Stinger splash and misses.

The heels cut him off again but Sting gets the hot tag and hits everyone with Stinger splashes. Meanwhile the crowd chants “NDA” at Jericho and this is just all over the place. Hot take: They should just put the tag titles on Sting and Darby and let Sting have a last ride as champion for the two months before Revolution. Sting counters Darby’s ropewalk and tries a stungun, but Starks falls short as this continues to fall apart. Over to Sammy, who hits him with a cutter for two. Bill with the Bossman slam, but Jericho gives Bill a codebreaker and Bill shrugs it off before awkwardly trying for a figure-four and somehow failing. WTF is this match? Hobbs destroys Jericho for a bit, before Darby saves him, and then Takeshita hurls Darby with a german suplex. Sting and Jericho get stereo Sharpshooters as the crowd pisses all over THAT, and then they flail around the ring some more and Sammy pins Starks with the shooting star to win at 16:10. This was a complete mess. They couldn’t get on the same page whatsoever. *1/2. By the end I was no longer offended by the inclusion of Jericho, I was offended because the match was shit.

TBS Title: Julia Hart v. Abadon

I like Abadon but this was a huge misfire and they’re not ready for this spot. Really Julia isn’t either and needs someone with more star power in the ring with her. This should have been a Dynamite match at best. The crowd chants “this is spooky” and Abadon comes out with a cutter and hits Julia with clotheslines in the corner. Bossman slam gets two. Julia with a crucifix bomb for two and they crawl around the ring being all spooky, but Julia takes Abadon down and chokes her out. To the floor for a suplex from Julia, but Abadon comes back with biting in the ring. It’s legal here, you see. Abadon with the generic clothesline comeback and a codebreaker for two. They fight to the top and Julia brings them down with a superplex for two. Julia with the lariat to set up Heartless, but Abadon rolls it over for two. Abadon comes back again with a knee strike for two, but Skye Blue appears out of nowhere and takes Abadon out to save Julia. So they brawl on the floor and Julia takes out Abadon, and then finishes with a questionable moonsault at 11:51 to retain. She basically landed on her feet there. God bless Abadon but they’re not a particularly good worker outside of pumpkin-smashing gimmick brawls. There’s just nothing there underneath the gimmick. ½*.

TNT title: Christian Cage v. Adam Copeland

Copeland attacks in the aisle and we’re off and running with the brawl, as he runs Christian into the LED panel and then hauls him down to ringside and smashes him into the railing. Nigel is talking trash on commentary, so Adam swings by and tells him to shut up, and Nigel immediately quips “Yes sir” and shuts up. And then goes back to talking trash when Copeland leaves. Tremendous. Into the ring, Cage runs away while the crowd chants for “TLC”, which is traditionally the PPV in the December slot for WWE. Stupid New York fans can’t even remember which company they’re watching. They brawl on the floor again and Adam tries to curb stomp him on the stairs, so Cage wisely gets the hell out of there and they fight up the stairs, leading to Copeland jumping off a balcony with a dive onto Christian! Damn, I complain when concerts start later than 7:30 these days and this dude is jumping off balconies.

Back to ringside, and Copeland jumps off the railing with a clothesline. Back in, Adam slugs away in the corner, but the spear misses and he runs into the post and hits the floor. So Christian returns the favor of the stomp on the stairs, and takes over back in the ring. Copeland is busted open above his eye, so Cage uses a kendo stick to beat on him in a fatherly manner and chokes him out with that for two. Next up, he beats on Copeland with chairs and Nigel notes that suddenly the crowd doesn’t want TLC anymore. I know right! See what I mean about fickle New York crowds? We get a unique boston crab while Christian sits on the chair, but Adam powers out of that and comes back with the Cope-a-matic. Copeland with the crossface off some kendo stick shots, and Christian grabs a metal rod to escape, so Copeland chokes him out with THAT as well. Time for a ladder, as Adam finds one under the ring and caresses it lovingly. Back in the ring, Christian uses the kendo stick again and they fight up the ladder, where Cage brings him down with the sunset bomb for two. Christian and his young ward Nick Wayne set up a table at ringside next, and again the fickle fans complain about that and now they’re wanting FIRE instead. Make up your damn minds.

Christian goes to the yam bag region to put Copeland down again and sets up another table in the ring, but Adam dodges a spear and starts throwing chairs at him before spearing Cage through the table to win that battle. Mother Wayne pulls out the ref to save, but young Nick saves his mother from Copeland with a cutter off the apron. Back in the ring, Christian with the Killswitch for two. So indeed, they do cover the table with lighter fluid and we get FIRE. But Copeland spears Christian and then adds MORE fire before powerbombing Nick onto the table and damn near breaking his neck. Christian would never do that to his own son. Back in the ring, Copeland hits Christian with his own Killswitch, and wins the TNT title at 25:00 as they save the damn show with by far their best ever singles match against each other. *****

But then, plot twist, Killswitch comes out and cashes in his TNT title shot from the pre-show, laying out Copeland with the chokeslam on a chair. But Christian objects, and whispers something in the dinosaur’s ear before cashing in the contract himself and spearing Copeland to regain the TNT title. The match was great but this WWE-lite angle stuff belongs on TV, not PPV. Not a fan of the waffling where you want to beat Christian but don’t want to put the title on Copeland so you have to do the wacky Money in the Bank finish to get back to where you want again.

Continental Classic final: Eddie Kingston v. Jon Moxley

Bryan Danielson joins us on commentary, putting over the whole thing like a sporting event. Eddie is decked out like Kawada tonight and takes Moxley down for some cuddling on the mat, but Moxley gets a headscissors and it’s a stalemate. They trade shots and Kingston sends Mox to the floor with an enzuigiri, but Eddie dives and mostly misses, overshooting and smashing into the railing. Back in the ring, Moxley catches him with a german suplex and then DDTs him on the floor. Bryan: “I can’t believe I lost to this guy.” That’s cold. Back in the ring, Moxley beats on him with kicks, but Eddie fires back with chops until he hits Moxley’s forearm by mistake and that allows Mox to take over. Mox with a piledriver for two. Mox with the STF, but Eddie fights out and they trade chops again. And they beat the piss out of each other with those, which Bryan advises Moxley against continuing, but Kingston hits him with an exploder and that just makes Moxley madder. Eddie with the backfist to put him down, but he can’t cover. Bryan: “Don’t let this bum beat you, Mox!”

Eddie with the corner chops (“You want 100% motherfucker?”) and he follows with a DDT, but Moxley fires back with a cutter. So Eddie hits him back and Mox gets a lariat. Eddie with the northern lights bomb and he goes to the bulldog choke. But Bryan notes that they trained bulldog chokes extensively so they’re not afraid of them. And indeed Moxley reverses to his own bulldog choke while Bryan and Taz are having the time of their life breaking down the science behind it. Eddie fights out at the third arm drop and makes the ropes to break, before slugging Moxley down again for two. Another northern lights bomb gets two. Moxley puts him down with a lariat for a double down. So they fight up and throw bombs again, but Eddie swings out of nowhere with the backfist and pins him to win the Triple Crown at 17:23. Really Kingston was the only guy who should have won, and this was the right way to go. Another show-saving classic where they beat each other into hamburger. Wrestling is such a unique beast because it’s the only place you get people who are best friends in real life wanting to pulverize each other as hard as they can to show it. ****1/2

AEW World title: MJF v. Samoa Joe

And of course Adam Cole hobbles out to ringside, thankfully not jumping off the ramp on the way so he avoids breaking the other ankle. Max attacks in the corner, but walks into the uranage and Joe slugs away in the corner. Joe legdrops the gigantic arm protector and puts Max down with the big boot before jumping on the shoulder again. Joe tries for the muscle buster, but MJF flips out of it and cradles for two. Joe somehow counters the Kangaroo Kick and catapults him to the apron, but Max skins the cat. So Joe kicks him in the head and sends him to the floor again. Back with a death valley driver for two and a german suplex for two. Max fights up and they head to the apron, where Joe gives him an insane muscle buster off the apron and to the floor, which gets two. Max somehow makes a comeback and slugs away in the corner with his remaining arm. Joe again counters the Kangaroo deal, but he tries to go to the top and Max tries to bring him down with a fireman’s carry. That proves stupid and Max’s shoulder gives out. Joe heads to the apron and Max counters him with the Heatseeker for two. Another one is countered by Joe, but Max rolls him up for two and into the armbar. But then Joe casually rolls into his own armbar on the bad arm and that’s not good news. Max uses the motivation of Adam Cole to make the ropes, but Joe tries the choke and the ref is bumped. So Joe goes up again, and MJF hits him in the nuts and brings him down with an F5. That would be impressive for someone WITHOUT a wrecked shoulder. That gets two. So Max calls for the ring from his best man, but Adam takes too long finding it, and Joe chokes him out and wins the title with three arm drops in an anticlimactic moment at 17:48. MJF had promised beforehand that it would be a real match without smoke and mirrors, but there was some smoke and mirrors and it wasn’t up to the level of Max’s other title defenses. I liked it, but really the focus was waiting for the Devil reveal. ***1/2.

And speaking of which, the mysterious masked geeks hit the ring afterwards, and attack both babyfaces. But then the lights go out and it turns out that the culprit was shockingly the guy who we all guessed from the start and his best friends in the Kingdom. This would have hit a lot harder if they had pulled the trigger months ago, when Cole had a viable motive for doing it and their relationship meant a lot more. I will say, Matt Taven was born to play a sniveling coward lackey.

So overall, although with a few days’ perspective I didn’t have as much trouble getting past the first hour as I did on Saturday, this is still in contention for worst AEW PPV ever, and probably was the worst PPV of the year overall. I mean, that speaks highly of the quality level that both companies have been pumping out all year that something with a ***** and ****1/2 match could be classified as “bad”, but man was that stretch between the opener and the TNT title match really awful. Did the last hour save the show? Mostly, but I still wouldn’t give this one a recommendation. Thumbs down.