The SmarK Rant for AEW Revolution 2025 – 03.09.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Revolution – 03.09.25

Triller’s feed is being VERY fucky tonight so hopefully they get it together before I have to sit through 4 hours of crashes.

(Update: I ended up watching on a one-hour delay and that straightened out the issues)

Live from Los Angeles, CA

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

MJF v. Hangman Page

We get the troll entrance from MJF, as he teases the original Hangman theme and then does his own. They slug it out to start and Page puts the boots to him in the corner, so Max wisely hides behind the ref and pokes him in the eyes to take over. Max with the dreaded SIDE HEADLOCK OF DOOM, but no pinfall comes from this one, and Page fights out of it before MJF yanks him down by the hair. Jawbreaker gets two. Page gets his own jawbreaker and tries a rana, but MJF counters with a powerbomb for two. MJF with the dreaded crotch thrust to put Page down, and that of course fires up Hangman and he beats on MJF and fights back with a fallaway slam. Max bails to the apron and Page hits him with a clothesline to the back and Max bumps to the floor. Back in the ring, Max exits to the apron to avoid a buckshot, so Page hits him with a running boot and follows with a moonsault. Back in, MJF avoids another buckshot with the power of cowardice, and suckers Page in for an Alabama slam and 187 DDT that gets two. Page with a cradle for two and they trade near-falls off that, but Page gets the Deadeye and that gets two. MJF tries the Heatseeker, but Page blocks it and finally gets the Buckshot for two, as MJF is in the ropes. So Hangman picks him up and spits on him to set up a second try, but Max bumps to the floor to escape again. Hangman chases him and runs into the stairs as a result, and that allows MJF to reverse the Buckshot into the armbar this time. He turns it into a crossface and cross armbreaker, but Page contorts himself and makes the ropes with one foot. So it’s back to the floor and MJF steals a headset to do some commentary on how great he is, but Page catches him with a moonsault that he flips into a tombstone attempt. But then MJF reverses it into his own tombstone, onto an open chair at ringside, in a spot I’ve never seen done before. Hangman beats the count at 9 and Max throws a tantrum about that and tries another Heatseeker, but Page blocks him and brings him in with a Deadeye in a cool reversal. Page with an Angel’s Wings for a little message, and he skins the cat out to the apron and hits another Buckshot on the dazed MJF to finish clean at 18:55. I thought for sure MJF was winning with the ring and I’m kind of shocked that he laid down clean for the Hangman here. Bit slower paced than I was expecting but the story of the match was great, with Page winning by sheer willpower and anger. ***1/2

TBS title: Mercedes Mone v. Momo Watanabe

This is lower on the card than usual for Mone but the result isn’t in doubt anyway. Momo goes for the arm to start and boots her down as Mone cowers, and they get into a shoving match before Momo puts her down with kicks. Momo with a chickenwing attempt and Mone escapes that, but Momo puts the arm to put her down again. Head kick gets two. Running knee is caught by Mercedes and turned into the Bank Statement, but Momo makes the ropes. So Mercedes smashes her into the ropes with double knees and they fight to the apron, where Mone spikes her with a powerbomb to the floor. Back in, that gets two. Meteora gets two. Mone works the arm while Billie Saintz takes notes from a remote location, which might finally get Athena onto AEW TV after being ROH champion for two years or whatever we’re at now. Momo escapes the Moneymaker, but Mone boots her down and hits the rolling suplexes. So Momo hits her own and then hangs Mercedes in the Tree of Woe and beats on her with kicks. Momo with a corner dropkick and that gets two. Momo’s CEO dance needs work, I’m just gonna say it. Mone tries a rollup and Momo PROCURES THE CHICKENWING, but Mercedes counters for two. Backstabber and Meteora gets two for Mone. They head to the apron and Momo gets her own Meteora on the HARDEST PART OF THE RING, which gets two. That looked pretty savage. They fight over the Moneymaker and Mone takes her down with the Bank Statement, but Momo reverses to another chickenwing, forcing Mercedes to powerbomb out of it for two. Mone goes up and Momo pops up and brings her down with a uranage off the top, for two. Dragon suplex gets two. Pumphandle slam is reversed by Mone, so Momo kicks the shit out of her and roundhouses her for two. Momo goes up and misses a double stomp, and Mercedes gets a crossbody for two off that. Moneymaker and Bank Statement finish at 18:15 and Mone retains. Insanely great match for the position, and I think it’s time to have the hard conversation that Mone is great and the haters are wrong. ****1/2

#1 contender’s match: Ricochet v. Swerve Strickland

Second blood feud of the night. More to come! They go crazy with finisher attempts to start and battle to a stalemate. They head to the floor and back in where Swerve beats on him and hits the middle rope kick to chase Ricochet to the corner. Ric puts him down and goes to annoy Prince Nana, but Swerve clotheslines him over the top and beats him down outside, getting so worked up that he shoves Nana. That allows Ricochet to comes back with a flying clothesline and moonsault for two, and Nana has had enough and walks out on the match. Swerve’s been a lot to deal with, I don’t blame him. Ricochet chokes him out in the corner and they trade chops, but Ric puts him down with a cutter and goes to a chinlock. Swerve escapes with a backbreaker and dropkicks him to make the comeback, and he blocks another cutter and rolls Ricochet into a brainbuster for two. Ricochet comes back with a ricochet lariat and goes up, but Swerve slugs him down and they fight on the apron before Ricochet springboards in with a rana, and Swerve hurks him up into a deadlift powerslam for two. Back to the apron, where Ricochet hits a poison rana and they fight onto the announce table, where Swerve hits him with a sick Vertebreaker that somehow doesn’t break the table. Back in the ring, Swerve Stomp gets two. Ricochet tries to go low and gets blocked, but hits a brainbuster anyway and then goes up with the 630, which gets two. This allows Nana to return and steal his robe back, and Swerve rolls hi up for two, but Ricochet takes out Nana with a dive and takes it right back again. Swerve dives and Ricochet catches him with a death valley driver on the floor, prompting a yelling match with Dr. Ken. Back in the ring, Ricochet with the Vertigo for two while wearing the robe. Spirit Gun, but Nana grabs the robe to trip him up, and Swerve rolls him up for two. Ricochet sends Swerve into Nana and rolls him up for two, but Swerve hits the House Call kick, and follows with another one for two. Swerve with Big Pressure and that’s enough to finish at 18:10. The whole finishing sequence was crazy and thankfully Swerve and Nana have worked their shit out. ****1/4

AEW Continental title: Kazuchika Okada v. Brody King

This is either gonna be insanely great or a weird style clash and I don’t think there’s gonna be anything in between. Okada tries a slam and can’t get anywhere with that, and King slams him back and chases him to the floor. Back in the ring, Okada fights back with elbows in the corner, but Brody sends him to the floor again with his own elbow and then beats on him out there and runs him into the railing. The body attack misses and Okada DDTs him on the floor. Back in, Brody misses a charge and Okada gets the slam this time and goes up, only for Brody to chop him down to set up a superplex before tossing Okada to the floor for a tope suicida. Brody with the crossbody into the railing, which hits on this attempt, and back in for a senton that gets two. Okada tries fighting back, so King nails him with the lariat, but Okada finally hits a neckbreaker to put him down. Okada goes up with the flying elbow, but Brody catches the Rainmaker attempt and smashes him into the corner with a death valley driver. Cannonball follows and that gets two. They head to the apron and back to the floor, where Okada dropkicks him into the railing. Back in, Okada fakes a chair shot to distract the ref, and uses the belt for two instead. Rainmaker is casually countered by King into his own lariat, but Okada escapes the Ganzo bomb, so Brody hits him with a corner splash. Another cannonball misses and Okada dropkicks him and then counters a lariat into the Rainmaker to finish at 11:43. This was like a solid Collision main event, not great, but nothing more than you’d expect. ***1/4

AEW World tag team title: Hurt Syndicate v. The OUTRUNNERS

I’m sure this will be a squash but they deserve to finally get a good PPV payoff for all their hard work. Truth tries a headlock on Shelton and Nigel notes that their strategy should be to poison the Hurt Syndicate. And indeed Truth gets slammed down, so Turbo Floyd comes in and he also gets walloped. But the Runners clothesline him to the floor, only to celebrate too soon and that allows Bobby to throttle them from the apron. Luckily they regroup and clean house, which embarrasses MVP. So back in the ring, the champs double-team Truth in the corner and Lashley gets a neckbreaker. Truth escapes a suplex, but Bobby ragdolls him to the floor with a clothesline over the top. Back in with a german suplex from Shelton and Lashley pounds him with elbows in the corner and hits a running powerslam for two. Truth somehow fights them off and makes the hot tag to a fired up Floyd, who nearly trips over the top rope on the way in, but still manages to run wild on Shelton to set up the DOUBLE BICEP ELBOW. But then Lashley smashes them both to break up the merriment. Shelton beats on Turbo, and it’s time to TURBO UP for a corner clothesline and he actually pulls out a ropewalk before Shelton just clotheslines him down for two. Lashley comes in with a spinebuster on Truth and spears both guys out of their boots to finish at 8:31. I hate to say it, but I think the Outrunners have hit their ceiling as far as what they can do in a serious tag match. This wasn’t really any good, but I’m glad my boys got their shot as a reward for selling so much merch. *

Hollywood Ending match, AEW World Women’s title: Timeless Toni Storm v. Mariah May

We get the brawl at the entrance right away and Mariah hits a DDT for two. She finds a taser in a bouquet of flowers and kicks poor Luther in the nuts before dropkicking him over a table, but Toni hits a Sky High off the stage and through a table for two. We head to the ring, where Toni crotches Mariah on the railing and brings her down with a DDT, but Mariah comes back with a piledriver on the stairs. Toni is BUSTED OPEN, and Mariah wedges a chair on her face and hits it with a hip attack for two, but Toni fires back with the german suplex and procures a bucket of broken glass. So they tape up their fists and it’s TAIPEI BOXING MATCH time. I wasn’t expecting a Rambo reference tonight, I’ll say that. I believe this is what they call “for the sickos”. Toni dumps the excess glass in the ring for good measure. Oh geez it’s an Annie Lennox match. So Mariah smashes a champagne bottle in Toni’s crotch, and hits a top rope rana and Mayday on the glass, for two. Toni with Storm Zero on a chair for two. Toni finds the SHOE and Mariah wisely runs the hell out of there, but Toni whips her with the belt, but Mariah hits a Mayday for two with a face full of blood. Toni regains her shoe and bashes Mariah’s head in with that, before delivering a Storm Zero through the Hollywood Ending table and pinning her to retain at 12:53. This was incredible and everything we expected from it. Not to mention the cinematic “The End” on the screen to wrap it up for good. ****1/2.

AEW International title: Konosuke Takeshita v. Kenny Omega

From that to this. Talk about a contrast. They slug it out and exchange chops, but Takeshita hits him with a suplex so Kenny sends him to the floor and follows with a dive. Don notes that Kenny has a ticking time bomb in his guts, which is the weirdest WBD crossover with Suicide Squad I’ve heard of. Takeshita sends him into the railing, and back in for two off that. Takeshita chokes him out on the ropes and hits a DDT for two, which puts Kenny on the floor so that Don Callis can get some shots in at the desk. Callis selling the pain from punching Kenny’s head is great stuff, of course. Back in, Omega misses a bodypress and sells the gut, allowing Takeshita to hit a running knee to the gut for two. Uranage and Takeshita heads out to set up a table, but Kenny fights him off and hits him with a sling blade on the apron, the HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Kenny tries a You Can’t Escape on the floor, but has to stop and prep the railing and Takeshita shoves him gut-first into the other railing. Back in the ring, Takeshita hits him with a brainbuster for two. Takeshita with a bodyscissors, but Kenny fights out of it and hits a bodypress out of the corner to make the comeback.

Kenny with You Can’t Escape again, and this time the moonsault hits for two. But that obviously hurts Kenny as well and they’re both down. Kenny with a rana while selling the abdominal injury, and Takeshita bails to the floor so that Kenny can do the Terminator Dive, only for Callis to trip him up. Takeshita with a Cactus clothesline to put them on the floor and he follows with a german suplex out there while Callis complains about getting attacked by Omega after he interfered. Kenny flips the table over, which the crowd doesn’t like, but Takeshita suplexes him gut-first on the overturned table for some massive heat. Don Callis cackles like a true villain, of course. Back in the ring, Takeshita with a senton, but Kenny gets his knees up on another one. So Takeshita goes up and misses a flying senton. They slug it out and Kenny fights back with the snapdragon, but Takeshita just nails him in the gut. Kenny with a powerbomb into a knee strike for two. Takeshita with the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Takeshita with the running boot in the corner and they head to the top, and Takeshita just clubs him down to the floor. Takeshita back to the top, but Kenny springboards in with a powerbomb to bring him down, and that gets two. Kenny with the V-Trigger, but he can’t get the Angel, and Takeshita teases his own before hitting Kenny with a tombstone for two. Takeshita with the knee strike for two. Another one gets one and Omega makes the comeback as the crowd goes nuts. They slug it out and Takeshita puts him down with a forearm, but Omega hits a knee strike and piledriver for two. Takeshita won’t go down, so Kenny hits him with repeated knee strikes over and over, and then follows with a poison rana to set up the V-Trigger. But then Callis gets involved again, breaking up the One Winged Angel, and they exchange cradles until Kenny gets the crucifix and pins him to win the title at 28:25. Takeshita was a great champion but it’s time for Omega to get back to the top again. Needed a more definitive finish but I can see Omega wanting to keep Takeshita strong. ****3/4

Cage match: Kyle Fletcher v. Will Ospreay

We get a showdown at the top of the cage to start, with each guy in their own corner in a cool visual. They trade shoulderblocks and Fletcher wins that battle, but Ospreay takes him down with a rana and then discovers that he doesn’t have space to do a springboard because he’s not used to working in a cage. And indeed, he tries a handspring and hurts his own ankle on the cage, again showing his inexperience. That’s pretty interesting psychology. Fletcher beats on him with chops, but Will hits the stunner, only for Fletcher to counter the Ozcutter into a lawn dart into the cage. So Ospreay is busted open and Fletcher goes to work on that, but Ospreay does manage a springboard this time and hits him with a clothesline. Will runs him into the cage a few times and backdrops him to set up a standing moonsault for two. Ospreay beats him down with chops, turning Kyle’s chest into hamburger, but Fletcher puts him down with a half and half suplex.

Kyle pulls off a turnbuckle and beats on Ospreay in the corner, but Will gives him the cheeky Nandos and catapults him into the cage. Ospreay goes up and Fletcher crotches him. They fight on the top and Ospreay smashes him into the cage a few times to bring him down, following with a Sky Twister Press for two. Will goes up the ropes and Kyle crotches him and follows with a dropkick into the cage, and a giant Last Ride powerbomb gets two. Fletcher with the Kawada kicks to get more blood on his boots, but Ospreay powers up and hits his own as they literally bathe in each other’s blood. They trade forearms, but Kyle superkicks him and they do a crazy reversal sequence that leads to Ospreay getting a DDT. Fletcher escapes the Tiger Driver and hits Ospreay with a brainbuster for two. This brings Mark Davis down to cut the lock and load up Fletcher with a bag of weapons, but Ospreay kicks the door in his face and finds a barbed wire baseball bat in the bag. So Kyle takes some abuse from that (“Not in the face!” pleads Don) as Ospreay plays Cactus Jack. So Fletcher pulls out his United Empire armband to plead for mercy and then hits Ospreay in the nuts instead and shoves the bloody armband into Will’s mouth. Home run swing with the bat misses and Will hits him with the Hidden Blade and Stormbreaker for two, but Mark Davis saves and chokes Ospreay out. So Aussie Open reuites to finish Ospreay, but Will hits a poison rana on Fletcher and boots Davis out of the cage again to get rid of him. Top of the cage Ozcutter on Fletcher gets two in an incredible spot.

Will wraps barbed wire around his arm like he’s Kratos, but Fletcher finds the SCREWDRIVER OF DEATH wedged in the top of the cage and spikes Ospreay with that. Ospreay dodges it and tries the Style Clash, but Kyle rolls him into a brainbuster and then sets up a chair for another one onto the open chair, which gets two. Ospreay’s red tights are stained red with blood at this point, I should note. Kyle hasn’t had enough and we get the thumbtacks for the big finale, but Ospreay reverses to a rana and then rolls into a Styles Clash, onto the tacks. And THAT only gets two! Ospreay with the Stormbreaker, but Fletcher climbs the cage to escape, so Ospreay grabs the screwdriver and they fight over that on top of the cage. Will jabs that into Kyle’s skull to win that battle and that sets up the most insane Spanish fly off the top of the cage. This is nuts. Fletcher keeps defiantly screaming “I fucking hate you!” so Ospreay gives him the Hidden Blade and Tiger Driver in the middle to finish at 28:55 to end it once and for all. I knew I was waiting to bust out the full monty for something later in the show. They just kept piling on blood and hatred and crazy death defying spots and it was awesome. *****

AEW World title: Jon Moxley v. COPE

I don’t like their chances of following that one. Note to LA: You suck at singing Copeland’s song. Really embarrassing effort. Moxley is all by himself, just a man and his briefcase. Win or lose they’ve taken one of the worst storylines in wrestling and redeemed it by turning it into an actual program that people are invested in. They slug it out and COPE goes down first, but he powers up again and they do another round and COPE clotheslines him to the floor and follows with a baseball slide. Back in, Moxley tries the piledriver and COPE backdrops out of that as they’re immediately struggling to get the crowd back after the cage match. Moxley runs him into the post and into the railing a few times before going to work on the neck. Back in, that gets two. Mox beats on him with crossfaces on the ropes, but COPE tries to weakly fight back while the audience gets distracted by something in the stands. Mox charges and misses, allowing COPE to roll him up for two, but Mox puts him down again with a cutter. COPE with the Impaler but he can’t cover and it’s a double down. COPE comes back with clotheslines and the COPE-o-matic for two. They head to the top and COPE gets a superplex for two. Mox tries a wristlock and COPE counters him into the crossface, but Mox makes the ropes. So COPE spears him through the ropes and to the floor. So Mox decides now is the time to break his neck and send him home in a wheelchair and he pulls up the mats to make it happen. COPE backdrops out of a piledriver out there, but Moxley curbstomps him on the exposed boards, and back in for two. Piledriver gets two. Mox with the bulldog choke and COPE is fading, but he fights to the ropes to break. So Moxley retrieves a chair, but COPE rolls him up, and Mox shoves him off and into the ref to bump him. Mox with the Paradigm Shift with no ref and he decides to try his own Conchairto, but COPE kicks the chair back in his face and they collide for the double down. So this brings out Wheeler Yuta to make his choice, but he hits COPE with the bu saiku knee. Mox gets the briefcase, but Knife Pervert Jay White hits the ring and steals it, “accidentally” knocking COPE out with it before fighting Yuta back to the dressing room. But the ref revives and it only gets two for Mox. COPE with one more spear, but that only gets two. Another pair of spears follow, but Christian takes out the ref and cashes in his contract, making it a three-way. So he spears COPE and it only gets two. Killswitch gets two and Moxley saves with the bulldog choke while Christian is still trying to cover COPE, and Christian goes out at 26:48. Jesus Christ, after all of that buildup and the contract build and they just go with Moxley beating both guys at the same time and negate everything with the worst possible finish. Nobody turns, nobody debuts, Mox is still the champion with the stupid fucking briefcase who wins every big match. As for the match, they tried, but the crowd was burned out completely from the cage match and it just never got into second gear. **1/4. And Swerve attacks off the balcony to set up their title match next month, the latest in the line of “Dear god I hope someone finally beats Mox for that title” main events.

Man that show was an all-time legendary great show up until that main event stunk up the joint. That one should have been an hour earlier in the show and they could have finished with basically anything else on the show. Instead we got Christian looking like a moron and wasting his contract and COPE looking as old he is while they try to do a 30 minute main event for a tired crowd. It was a bad note to end on, but still an enormous thumbs up anyway.