The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.10.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 12.10.25

WINTER IS COMING

Yeah no shit winter is coming. You should have seen it outside today here in Saskatoon. Winter is already here.

Live from Atlanta, GA

Your hosts are Excalibur, Bryan Danielson & Tony Schiavone

AEW Women’s tag team title: Toni Storm & Mina Shirakawa v. Willow Nightingale & Harley Cameron

Mina battles Harley to a stalemate and we get a BOOB BATTLE, handily won by Harley. Next up, Willow and Toni slug it out and trade chops and everyone winds up on the floor for a dive from Toni. Back in, that gets two on Toni, but she comes back with a backbreaker on Harley to take over. The Love Bombs double-team Harley with a slam for two, but Harley gets a quick tag to Willow and she runs wild with chops until Mina cuts her off. But Willow pounces Toni to the floor as we take a break. Back with Mina hitting Willow with a DDT and Toni gets a hot tag and SHE runs wild as everyone gets a turn at it. Toni PROCURES THE CHICKENWING on Harley, but Willow breaks it up. So Mina gets a figure-four on Harley, but Toni and Willow take turns rolling them over and then we get a wacky double submission spot as they all chop each other. We get a quadruple down off a slugfest and Mina is up first with a sling blade on Harley into Storm Zero for two. Willow makes the save and suplexes Toni on the floor, but Mina batters Harley with strikes to put her down. Harley escapes the Glamorous Driver and ROLLS THE DICE, and then Willow finishes with the powerbomb at 14:00 to win the first tag team titles. The belts seemed made for Toni and Mina, but they never gelled as a team, and the Babes were by far the best team in the tournament and 100% deserved to win it. This match was energetic but really messy, like most of the other matches in the tournament. **1/2

Meanwhile, the Opps promise that tonight is the real Samoa Joe.

Meanwhile, Jon Moxley recaps his Continental Classic so far and promises to work for his minions, because they’re not too cool to try to win.

Continental Classic Gold League: Kazuchika Okada v. Jungle Jack Perry

So Darby Allin is out and Jack Perry is going to finish out the tournament for him. Crazy that after everything Darby Allin has put his body through, it was that one spot with Kevin Knight that finally broke him. Jack attacks in the corner but walks into a boot, so he puts Okada on the floor with a headscissors and hits him with a dive. They fight on the floor and Jack gets a dropkick and back in for two. Perry up top with an elbow strike for two and he slugs on Okada in the corner, but Okada dumps him to the floor and takes out a cameraman in the process. Okada teases throwing him back in the ring and then dumps him into the front row instead and then DDTs him from the railing as we take a break. Back with them slugging it out until Perry hits a rebound lariat and fights back with a german suplex out of the corner. DDT gets two. Okada hits him with a neckbreaker and goes up with the flying elbow, but Perry escapes the Rainmaker. So Okada hits him with the dropkick, but Perry gets a poison rana and running knee for two. Jungle Jack with the Snare Trap, but Okada bites the hand to break free, grinning like a jackass, so Jack bites his, um, inner thigh to escape a tombstone and gets the Snare Trap again. Did he just try for the Tobias Beecher Special on him? IYKYK. Okada makes the ropes and bails to recover from the awkwardness. Back in, he gets wrist control and waffles him with a Rainmaker, but he tries a second one and misses, and Jack tries the knee, only to get slammed and Rainmakered for the pin at 13:00. Goddamn Jack Perry is so much better as a babyface again. This was a BANGER. ****

In fact, Don Callis is so impressed that he offers Jack a spot in the Family, complete with the Young Bucks’ money as a signing bonus. But of course he says no and attacks, so the Young Bucks and Luchasaurus quickly make the save and clean house on the Callis Family. And the Bucks get their bag of money back. Hopefully Nick doesn’t gamble that one away.

Meanwhile, the Conglomeration celebrates the tag team title win, although Roderick Strong looks notably grumpy in the background.

Meanwhile, Mercedes finally loses one of her belts, to Red Velvet on the ROH PPV. Well I guess Red Velvet showed me that she wasn’t a failure after all then. Good on her.

Meanwhile, Eddie Kingston reflects on Terry Funk winning the World title 50 years ago today and he wants to crash out, but he’s giving Joe the fight of his life because he doesn’t know how many title shots he’s got left.

Mark Briscoe joins us in advance of his defense against Daniel Garcia on Collision. Wheeler Yuta quickly interrupts to annoy everyone and calls Mark as dumb as one of his chickens, but Mark challenges Daniel TONIGHT IN THIS VERY RING and Yuta has to pull Garcia away to prevent them from fighting. Well this was kind of lame but it was something to build up the TV show I guess.

Meanwhile, the Scary Chicks beat up some randos in the back, but Kris Statlander saves with a chair.

Tornado match: Shibata & Powerhouse Hobbs v. Hangman Page & Swerve Strickland

Gonna take a few tries to get used to the new Swerve theme. The faces come out of the crowd and come armed with chains and staple guns, and they all immediately brawl into the concourse. Been a while since we’ve seen a wacky Memphis brawl, actually. Page puts Hobbs through a table and stops for a beer, while Shibata boots Swerve off a chair as we take a break. Back with the match finally in the ring as the Opps double-team Page with suplexes and beat him down, but Nana gets involved and distracts Hobbs long enough for the babyfaces to make the comeback. Swerve tries the brainbuster on Shibata but can’t hit it, so he goes up with the diving elbow instead. Shibata tries an armbar on Page, but Swerve breaks it up with the stomp and we get a 450 from Swerve into a flatliner on Hobbs. Hobbs bails to the apron and he gets slammed through a table, and the buckshot lariat sets up the House Call Kick to finish Shibata at 10:02. This was a definite PARTY MATCH. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Don Callis challenges the Young Bucks to a Trios match in Cardiff for the $1,000,000. Not sure who the Bucks might choose for a partner. So many choices.

Meanwhile, Stokely thinks doesn’t think the Bang Bang Gang deserve a title shot, but he’s gonna give them one next week anyway.

Continental Classic Gold league: Speedball Mike Bailey v. Kyle Fletcher

Oh man, Speedball using Balatro gear is badass. By which I mean incredibly dorky, but I respect it. Bailey frustrates him and Kyle retreats to the floor while the crowd gets hotter and hotter. Back in, Fletcher stomps him down dramatically , but Bailey puts him on the floor with a rana and then dives onto him with another rana on the floor. Back in the ring, Speedball goes up with a bodypress and gets caught and slammed repeatedly to put him down again. Bailey with a missile dropkick to come back and he beats Fletcher down with kicks and sends him to the floor for a moonsault. They fight on the railing and Kyle hits him with an insane Michinoku Driver on the railing and we take a break. Back with them slugging it out on the apron, where Bailey hits the moonsault kneedrop on the HARDEST PART OF THE RING. Back in, they fight to the top rope as Bailey brings him down with a rana and follows with a shooting star. But that hits the knees and Fletcher lawn darts him into the corner and powerbombs him for two. Fletcher tries the brainbuster and Bailey goes dead weight to escape, so Fletcher just stomps him down in anger. They trade chops and then it turns into kicks and Bailey hits him with a cutter out of nowhere for two. Fletcher powerbomb is reversed into a rollup, and Bailey hits a rana for two and hits another kneedrop. Head kick gets two. The spinning kick gets two. So he winds for a bigger one, but Kyle blocks it with a superkick. But Bailey throws EVEN MORE kicks, and then goes up with a shooting star kneedrop to the back, which gets two in a crazy near fall. Fletcher bails to the floor to buy time, so Bailey follows him with a kneedrop, and that misses. Fletcher with an apron bomb, and back in with the brainbuster…which gets two. WHAT? To the top and Bailey powerbombs him into a rollup for two. They slug it out and Kyle gets a lariat, but Bailey escapes the brainbuster and gets a crazy rollup for the gigantic upset at 19:00 and 3 points. One of the greatest matches of the year in a year full of great matches. *****

Meanwhile, Hangman announces that he’s coming for his World title at World’s End as we finally get a main event.

Meanwhile, the Young Bucks offer the spot to Luchasaurus, but he gives the chance to Kenny Omega instead, and Kenny agrees to do it pro bono.

AEW World title: Samoa Joe v. Eddie Kingston

They fight for the lockup and Hook makes a nuisance of himself right away, so the ref tosses him. Joe slugs Eddie down and beats him down with elbows, but Eddie gets a bulldog as we take a break. Back with Eddie putting the boots to Joe on the ropes, but Joe fires back with kicks until Eddie puts him down with a lariat. Joe beats on him in the corner and puts the boots to him, but Eddie fights up again with chops until Joe puts him down with the powerslam for two. Joe fires up again and absorbs knees by using his face and then catches Joe with an exploder for two. Joe hits him with a death valley driver and hooks the STF, but Eddie bites out of it, kicks Joe in the nuts, and DDTs him as Joe rolls out of the ring to escape. Back in the ring, Eddie hits him with a cutter and tries the backfist, but he spins right into the Coquina clutch and taps out at 13:00. Hell of a hoss battle here. ***1/2.

Well kind of a downer ending but that was a HELL of a show this week and it wasn’t even just dominated by the Continental Classic stuff. This was a much needed return to form with a hot crowd, and they’ve already got a couple of big matches set up for next week, too.