The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 09.24.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 09.24.25

Look man, I’m old enough to be around for 1987 and remember how the Blue Jays dramatically coughed up the AL East back then, and now I get to watch it happen all over again. This is a team that’s getting swept out of the Wild Card round at the rate they’re going.

It’s the fallout from All Out!

Live from Pittsburgh, PA, as we’re back to a cavernous undersold arena again.

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Bryan Danielson

Meanwhile, we hear from AEW Men’s World champion Hangman Page, who has an open challenge tonight that has been answered by Lee Moriarty.

AEW World tag team title: Bro-Dido v. GOA

Apparently this was supposed to be Ricochet’s team getting a shot at the Trios titles, but Shibata is injured again and so we get this instead. Toa wants the showdown with Brody, but Bandido insists on giving it a try first, to the amusement of Toa. Kaun comes in and Bandido also tries taking him down, but Kaun escapes the press slam and hits him with a snap suplex. That only gets one. Back to Toa, who hits Bandido with a FULL BODY LIFT AND SLAM, but Bandido somehow escapes that and Brody comes in for real. He cleans house and runs Toa into the post, and then comes back in with a lariat on Kaun for two. But then he tries a superplex and gets brought down with a backstabber from Kaun, which gets two. We take a break and return with GOA hitting a double slam for two. GOA beats on Brody in the corner while Bandido paces like Ultimate Warrior on the apron, but Brody comes back with a cannonball on Kaun and it’s hot tag Bandido, who is READY for that hot hand, brother. He runs wild and puts Toa in the corner, and then presses Kaun onto him and that gets two. Bandido can’t get the 21Plex on Toa, due to physics and whatnot, and GOA double-teams him in the corner as a result. But then Brody breaks it up with a double electric chair drop. But he takes Toa to the floor and that backfires on him, as Toa slams him onto a table while Ricochet runs in with a chair and gets ejected as a result. Bandido with a small package on Kaun for two. GOA with the double bomb on Bandido for two, but Brody makes the save, and the 21Plex finishes Kaun at 14:48. Solid opener, despite a slow start, as Bro-Dido has been booked crazy good compared to, say, Private Party, despite being bigger underdogs coming into their reign. ***

Meanwhile, Mark Briscoe and the Conglomeration are conglomerating and they want the big guns from the Callis Family. And he will not reveal the mystery partner, no matter how hard you squeeze him.

Meanwhile, Evil Hologram is coming soon.

Meanwhile, Kris Statlander and her hype man, Harley Cameron, are wasting any time defending the title. But then Renee asks about the Death Riders and it gets AWKWARD. Also I would totally cast Harley in my upcoming Dick Wolf spinoff project, Chicago Med: Syndey. I’ve been working on the screenplay in my spare time and I think it’s got a really strong voice, like the Pitt, but with Australians, or New Zealanders if they work cheaper, and Paul Hogan as the crusty hospital administrator. You’ll likely be hearing more about it at the upfronts, unless some bastard screenwriter steals my idea first.

AEW Men’s World title: Hangman Page v. Lee Moriarty

Moriarty takes him down with a headscissors, and they do a knucklelock and reverse into an exchange of wristlocks before Page puts him down with a big boot and we take a break. Back with Moriarty in control with a springboard elbow for two. Hangman comes back with the fallaway slam for two. He tries the Deadeye and Moriarty reverses into an octopus hold, and then takes him down for two and goes to the Border City stretch. Page powers out and puts him down with a lariat, and then the Deadeye gets the pin at 9:55 to retain.

Meanwhile, at All Out, Adam Copeland has to go deal with his family and he doesn’t know if he’s coming back.

FTR joins us, complaining that COPE brought his wife in their business. And then Stokely ran up the aisle to introduce himself and got rudely speared. It didn’t even hurt! Dax clarifies that he would never put his hands on a woman, but he thought Beth was her husband and also she’s not much of a woman anyway. So this brings out Willow, who was inspired by Beth and doesn’t shit from guys like FTR. So she slaps Stokely and Jet Speed runs in and takes out FTR for her, which I guess sets up the stopgap feud while we wait for Copeland to decide if he’s retired or not.

Meanwhile, at All Out, MJF reflects on his life while covered in blood and thumbtacks, as one does.

Kazuchika Okada, Kenosuke Takeshita & Hechicero v. Mark Briscoe, Hologram & Orange Cassidy

BIGGEST SURPRISE RETURN EVER! Admit it, you had no idea it was coming. The babyfaces clean house and send the Callis Family to the floor for some dives, and they work Hechicero over in the corner. This leads to the big spot with Orange doing one punch and then celebrating. Hologram takes Hechicero down with wacky armdrags and then walks into a spinning slam. Hechicero with a monkey flip into a choke and then he turns it into a straitjacket hold. He hits a cutter as we take a break. Back with Hologram taking Hechicero down with a spinning headscissors, so Okada has to take care of the babyfaces himself. Hot tag Briscoe and he hits Okada with a running elbow in the corner and a fisherman’s buster for two. Orange comes in and hugs Okada, but Okada and Takeshita actually work together and take him out. Orange comes back with a double rana on them, but Hechicero hits Hologram with the guillotine headscissors and everyone comes in with the big moves. Takeshita piledrives Hologram, but Hologram powers up into a destroyer. Orange hits Hechicero with the Orange Punch and Hologram finishes with the Holobomb at 12:00. This gets like 0.5 PARTY MATCH from here. Needed a bag of gummy bears spot to put it over the top. This brings out Kyle Fletcher, who challeges Hologram to put his undefeated streak on the line in exchange for a TNT title match next week. About time he got a title shot, honestly.

Meanwhile, Mina Shirakawa hasn’t heard from Toni Storm since All Out and she’s getting worried. So tonight she’ll fight for Toni.

Next week: Jurassic Express returns!

Claudio Castagnoli v. Powerhouse Hobbs

We get an immediate MEAT MATCH and Hobbs gets some slams, but they tumble to the floor and brawl out there. Hobbs misses a charge and runs into the stairs, and Claudio suplexes him onto the railing a few times as we take a break. Back with Claudio working the back and he hits a gut wrench for two. Hobbs fights back with corner clotheslines, but Claudio cuts him off with a superplex for two. He tries the Neutralizer, but Hobbs backdrops out of it thanks to Claudio getting distracted by Danielson and follows with a powerslam. Hobbs with even more slams, and he hits Claudio with a clothesline before suddenly getting distracted by Pac. And Claudio gets the distraction rollup for the pin at 11:30. Weak finish to a match that didn’t really feel like they had a lot of chemistry. **. Afterwards, the Death Riders do the beatdown, but Hangman makes the save.

Move of the Night, as presented by Superman, is the Deadeye. Shouldn’t it be Orange’s superman punch?

Meanwhile, Tony Khan has an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! And in this case it’s AEW Women’s tag team titles, which is a pretty big announcement for once.

AEW Women’s World title: Kris Statlander v. Mina Shirakawa

They slug it out to start, but Mina stops to dance and pays for it. She comes back with the corner punches, but Stat dropkicks her and follows with a corner elbow. Mina takes her to the floor and smashes her knee from the apron and then launches off the stairs with a spinning splash. Back in the ring, Statlander drops her on the apron as we take a break. Back with Mina working the legs, but Statlander reverses the Glamorous driver and then Mina cradles for two. Stat with a Michinoku driver for two. Mina goes back to the knee with dragon screws and a sling blade for two. Kris ducks a backfist, but Mina takes her down and into the figure-four, forcing Stat to make the ropes. Mina beats her down with backfists but gets kicked down and Seat Belted by Statlander to retain at 10:11. Mina brings the fun as usual. ***. This brings out Wheeler Yuta to celebrate with Statlander, but she turns on him and runs away into the crowd with Harley. And that brings out Darby Allin, armed with a flamethrower, which naturally sets up an I Quit challenge for him and Jon Moxley at WrestleDream. Minor gripe here, but Moxley was literally SET ON FIRE at the PPV and he’s back on the first show afterwards with no ill effects at all.

I thought this was a pleasant and easy watch, especially for any disenfranchised WWE fans who might be stopping by for the first time, and it featured a nice mix of what AEW offers (Party Match, Meat Match, Important Announcement, Death Riders, Orange Cassidy, etc.). But the crowd wasn’t particularly good tonight and took the show down a lot at times. Ended up a mixed bag for me.