The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 09.03.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 09.03.25

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Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Tony Schiavone

Gabe Kidd joins us to start, looking for Darby Allin, and Darby obliges, but Kidd suckers him into a trip into an exposed turnbuckle before hitting him with a clothesline on the floor. Darby makes a comeback and walks into a choke. But then Yuta tries to help and Darby takes him out with a thumbtacked skateboard, which finally brings out the rest of the Death Riders to bail Wheeler out. Hook saunters out to save, but the Opps beat him to the ring and we get a big brawl. And then Darby and Gabe end up back in the parking lot, where Darby puts him out with the ether soaked rag and then drags him from the back of a truck in a body bag. Well that will teach him a valuable lesson.

TBS title: Mercedes Mone v. Alex Windsor

Mone quickly gets the Nash choke in the corner and tries a rana, but Windsor takes her down for a Sharpshooter and Mone makes the ropes. Alex with chops in the corner and she rolls into a dropkick for two. Mercedes with the Bank Statement, but Windsor makes the ropes and bails to the floor, hitting Mercedes with a cannonball off the apron. Back in, that gets two. They fight on the apron and Windsor does a Sharpshooter on the apron, which is kind of pointless, but Mone escapes and powerbombs her on the apron, THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING. We take a break and return with Alex making a comeback with a legsweep for two. Windsor with a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Another Bank Statement and Windsor powers out of it, but Mercedes reverses to a crucifix bomb for two. Mercedes powerbombs her for a double down, but Windsor hooks the legs into the Sharpshooter and they roll out to the floor where Mone taps out while it means nothing. Back in the ring, Mercedes catches her in another Statement, but Windsor rolls up into a lariat for another double down. They slug it out and Windsor hits her with a pumphandle driver for two. They fight to the top and Mone brings her down with an Iconoclasm and rolls her into another Bank Statement, but Windsor gets to the ropes and cradles for two. But then Mercedes holds on, gets her own cradle, and pins Windsor to retain at 15:17. ***1/2. Afterwards, Mercedes continues the attack, but Riho returns from injury again and makes the save.

Meanwhile, Samoa Joe and Hobbs aren’t really sure where Hook stands, and then a grumpy Hook wants to know why they replaced him, and Joe has to play diplomat.

Meanwhile, Ricochet and the GOA lay out their case against the Hurt Syndicate and we’ve got another match for All Out.

Mark Briscoe joins us and he’s tired of waiting for Don Callis to send him an opponent. So that brings out Don, who announces that Briscoe has to face Takeshita on Collision to get his TNT title shot. But Mark has his fighting britches on, so he wants another goon TONIGHT IN THIS VERY RING.

Mark Briscoe v. Lance Archer

Mark immediately hits him with a kick to the floor and follows with a baseball slide, but Lance chokeslams him on the apron for two. We take a break and return with Briscoe hitting him with a cannonball to the floor. Back in, Archer escapes the Jay Driller and bucklebombs him into a chokeslam for two. Briscoe comes back with a missile dropkick and REDNECK KUNG FU. Sunset bomb gets two and he goes up with the Froggy Bow for the pin at 8:00. Damn that was the cleanest and easiest win I’ve seen Briscoe get in MONTHS. **

Meanwhile, Toni Storm has fended off belt collectors and forever champions and now she needs a new challenger. God doesn’t judge, because that’s her job.

Meanwhile, Harley Cameron discovers that the wrath is not in the mask, the wrath is in her! But the Death Riders are still watching Statlander’s back, even though Harley doesn’t need them.

AEW World tag team title: Bro-Dido v. Wheeler Yuta & Claudio Castagnoli

Yuta and Bandido trade takedowns to start and then Brody and Claudio are MEATY MEN SLAPPING MEAT until Brody slams Bandido onto him. Bandido wants a Macarena but Brody isn’t into that stuff. He’s got limits. Bandido and Claudio fight over a suplex and Bandido wins that one, but he tries a bodypress and Cluadio catches him with a backbreaker as we take a break. Back with Bandido springboarding into a rana attempt that he turns into a Code Red, and it’s hot tag Brody. He hits the Riders with a double cannonball and that gets two. And then Bandido takes Brody into the corner with a rana, using his own partner as a cannonball onto Claudio for two. Back to Yuta, and the champs chop him right on the thumbtack holes to troll him and Brody hits a superplex. Marina takes the ref and that allows Moxley to run out and take out Brody, and the Fastball Special on Bandido gets two. Giant Swing gets two. But then Darby returns from his road trip and attacks Moxley, allowing Bandido to hit Yuta with the 21 Plex to finish at 12:34. Got a little messy by the end but it was all action. ***

Meanwhile, Okada reminds us that he’s the top dog in the Callis family.

Meanwhile, MVP is pretty disappointed with Ricochet and he’s looking forward to punching Ricochet right in his bitch mouth at All Out.

Cope & Christian join us, but FTR attacks COPE and Cage saves as they get into a giant brawl until a bunch of ROH geeks run in and break them up.

Meanwhile, FTR threatens one of the ROH kids and challenges him to a tag match on Collision.

All Star 8 Man tag: Kyle Fletcher & Josh Alexander & These Guys Again? v. Hangman Page & Kenny Omega & Jet Speed

So the Bucks were doing a meet and greet gag, giving us kind of a deep cut joke, as the banner behind them didn’t have a picture on it, because apparently production just put the website URL on it instead. That’s really clever. Hangman puts Josh down with a big boot, but Kyle cuts off a tag and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA as the babyfaces all hit dives to the floor. Back in the ring, they double-team Alexander as we take a break. Back with Josh hitting Bailey with a german suplex, but Bailey dropkicks Nick and it’s over to Kevin Knight. Matt hits him with the northern lights suplexes, but Hangman comes in and cleans house. Hangman and Omega double-team Fletcher and Page hits him with a giant powerbomb for a double down. Over to Speedball and he hits Alexander with the kicks and moonsault kneedrop. But they head to the apron and Bailey accidentally kneedrops the apron. Alexander tries to suplex Bailey off the railing, but Knight hits him with a flying clothesline into the crowd, and then the Bucks go nuts with TK Drivers on Bailey and we take another break. Back with the Bucks hitting the double team powerbomb for two on Bailey. But Nick misses a swanton and Bailey hits Alexander with a poison rana and makes the hot tag to Omega. Kenny fires off snapdragons and we get a showdown with the Elite facing off again and we get a crazy series of stuff ending with the Bucks hitting Young Buckshot lariats and superkicks for a double down. Page and Fletcher reverse into a tombstone from Fletcher that gets two, and Knight sunset flips Kyle for two. Knight with a dropkick and he goes up for a springboard forearm and DDTs Fletcher into the UFO splash, but that misses. Bucks clear the ring again and they hit a TK Driver on Knight, and Fletcher adds the brainbuster to finish at 22:00. What else can you say but this was a PARTY MATCH? ****1/4. Afterwards, the Don Callis Family beatdown continues and Fletcher drops Hangman on an open chair with the brainbuster, and then hits Kenny RIGHT IN THE DIVERTICULITIS with the chair as well. And then puts him through a table with a brainbuster off the apron for the heavy heat angle to end the show. Now I’m really curious where they’re going for the PPV after that.

This show felt a little more inessential than last week’s did, but there was good action all through the show and nothing bad, so that’s another strong thumbs up this week.