The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 08.13.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 08.13.25

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Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

MJF joins us to start for a face to face with Hangman Page, and he immediately annoys Page by getting the Seabiscuit story wrong. And Hangman clarifies that the PPV match is NOT for the title because Max hasn’t earned it, so he either needs to man up and take a non-title match or cash in his briefcase. MJF thinks Hangman is a false idol who actually is a depressed alcoholic lying to himself. But then Page fires right back at him with the cowardice accusations, until finally MJF snaps and executes his contract for Forbidden Door. Well at least we’ve gotten rid of one of them now.

Jon Moxleyv. Kevin Knight

Knight tries attacking to start and they trade chops and forearms until Knight goes down, as the crowd is biased towards Moxley. Knight fights off a cloverleaf and they head to the floor, where Knight manages to run him into the post and then follows with a nice shotgun dropkick off the apron. Back in the ring, Knight dropkicks him to the ramp and they slug it out there, but Knight tries a dive off the ramp and lands in the railing as we take a break. Back with Mox holding a submission move on the mat, but Knight makes the ropes and so Mox puts the boots to him. Knight comes back with a slam into the standing splash for two. They fight to the top and Knight brings him down with a superplex for two. Mox catches him with a cutter, but Knight cradles him for two and follows with a short powerbomb for two. Mox bails and Knight hits him with a dive. Back in, Knight counters the Death Rider into a DDT and goes up with the UFO splash, but Moxley gets the knees up. D’Arce Choke finishes at 13:46. Mox gave Knight a lot but the crowd wasn’t really big into this one. **3/4. Afterwards, Darby hits the ring and poor Yuta goes into another bodybag after taking a skateboard shot, but this time Claudio saves and Darby goes into his own bodybag. Darby takes an impressive helicopter slam while locked in the bag, but then Will Ospreay makes the save, apparently less crippled than originally advertised. So it’s Ospreay and his “friends” against the Death Riders in a steel cage match at Forbidden Door. Minor note: Why is Marina still wearing the key for the briefcase around her neck?

Mercedes Mone, Thekla & Skye Blue v. Willow Nightingale, Queen Aminata & Alex Windsor

Toni Storm and Athena are also up in the upper level as this very confusing program continues. There’s not really a strong title match for either Women’s title at the PPV. Aminata does the “Chocolate Kisses” on Mercedes, her version of the Devil’s Kiss, which it now turns out originated from Gorgeous George back in the 50s! The heels work Willow over in the corner as we take a break. Back with Windsor running wild and Willow hits the heels with a cannonball and gets two on Thekla. Aminata slams Thekla for two but then goes after Julia and gets laid out by Thekla. Windsor with a clothesline on Mone for two and she goes to the Sharpshooter, but Skye makes the save. Everyone does the big moves and everyone is out, but Windsor puts Skye in the Sharpshooter and she taps at 10:00. No heat for this one. ** Afterwards, Mercedes beats Windsor down, which is clearly the program they want, but then we’ve got another 2 people in the match that haven’t even been announced yet for some reason. Toni Storm and Athena brawl down to the ring, and Toni challenges Athena & Mercedes to a tag team match in Scotland next week.

Meanwhile, Will Ospreay announces that he has Tanahashi signed for his cage match. And he brushes off Renee’s question about his neck. Man, I would not be putting Tanahashi on major PPV shows in 2025 at this point.

COPE v. Big Stoke

Stokely tries a spear and that doesn’t work, shockingly. So Cope tells him to try it again and laughs it off a second time. So Stokely offers a handshake and Cope punches him to the floor and mocks his lack of hoes. Cope even polls a ho and she confirms that Stokely has no chance. Back in the ring, FTR comes out to watch while Cope hits the spear and the crowd wants more punishment. But then FTR runs in and Cope clears them out, and Stokely throws powder in self defense for the DQ at 4:39. This was about what I expected. DUD. FTR goes for the piledriver, but Christian Cage makes the save and then fights off the Patriarchy, setting up the reunion with Cope. To be honest, they’ve rushed through this and it doesn’t really feel earned. Like we know it’s FTR v. C&C at All Out and they’re just working backwards, but Christian hasn’t done anything to be a babyface.

The Young Bucks join us, with no music and “Mr. Instant Replay” and “Slick Nick” graphics. That cut is so deep that even I don’t get it. This Bucks deal is the gift that keeps on giving.

The Young Bucks, Kyle Fletcher & Josh Alexander v. Brody King, Hologram, Ishii & Hiromu Takahashi

I don’t recall seeing Takahashi in AEW before. Interesting call. They all fight to the floor and the Bucks make sure to superkick Justin Roberts as we take a break. Back with Brody beating on Fletcher with a cannonball and then hitting the Bucks with a dive outside. But the Bucks hit him with a double superkick on the apron to take over, and the heels go to work. Ishii gets a hot tag and hits everyone with suplexes and Takahashi dives onto Fletcher outside. Back in, Ishii gets two off a clothesline. Hologram misses a 450 and the Bucks run wild with superkicks and hit Brody with a TK Driver on the ramp to take care of him. And we take another break. Back with Hologram making a comeback with a poison rana on the Bucks and Takahashi comes in and hits Fletcher with corner clotheslines for two. The Bucks double-team him and Alexander hits him with a german suplex, before Fletcher adds a tombstone for two. Alexander tries another suplex on Takahashi and it’s reversed into a DDT for two, but Brody dives onto the heels. Bucks take him out, but Hologram gets his own dive onto them. And Takahashi finishes Alexander with a death valley driver at 17:08. Ishii and Hologram were not even in the match aside from a couple of dives. They were trying for the party match but it went too long and never really got past the second gear. ***

Swerve Strickland joins us, and has not much to say before Okada interrupts and calls him a bitch, triggering a pull apart brawl.

Meanwhile, the Death Riders don’t have much in the way of comment about Tanahashi, and Moxley goes to negotiate with the Bucks. So this leads to Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi also getting added to the cage match. That’s certainly abrupt.

The Opps v. LFI

Joe beats on Dralistico in the corner, but LFI takes over as we take a break. Back with Dralistico working on Shibata and Rush comes in for his fake corner dropkick and trades chops with Shibata. Hobbs gets a hot tag and beats on Mortos and Dralistico with corner clotheslines for two. Joe wraps up Dralistico with the choke and he’s done at 8:57. This was an extended squash for the Opps. **. Hey but at least Mortos didn’t do the job here!

This was one of those shows that wasn’t particularly interesting on its own, but at least set up some crazy good matches for a PPV that wasn’t looking interesting, so take whatever you want from that I guess.