The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 08.06.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 08.06.25

Lemme tell ya, I reviewed Cyber Sunday 2006 for the first time ever just before this show, so the bar for a great show by comparison tonight is gonna be set REALLY low now.

Live from Cleveland, OH

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

Jon Moxley v. Speedball Bailey

Apparently this was a last minute addition to the show. As opposed to all the meticulously planned and announced matches lately? Bailey attacks at the bell and beats on Mox with kicks, but Mox slugs back and chokes him out in the corner. Bailey fires back with a dropkick to put Moxley on the floor, but Mox pokes him in the eye to break up his dive attempt, and then Marina casually legsweeps him for some extra humiliation. This brings out Kevin Knight to defend his partner, and Bailey hits Mox with a moonsault and then puts Mox onto the railing for the moonsault kneedrop in a crazy spot. We take a break and return with Mox working the arm with SMALL JOINT MANIPULATION, but Speedball throws kicks on the arm to break free and puts Moxley down with more spinkicks and a shooting star for two. Bailey goes after the arm again and takes him down for shooting star press, which gets two. He immediately switches to an armbar and Moxley rolls him over and tries to slam out, but Speedball rolls him into another armbar in a slick reversal. They trade cradles off that and Speedball hits the moonsault knees, but Yuta provides distraction and Mox puts him down with a big boot. Drop suplex gets two, but Darby appears in the crowd again and kidnaps Wheeler with a bag on his head, allowing Bailey to roll up Moxley for two. The Spinkick gets two and he goes right to the armbar again off the cover, but Moxley switches him to the bulldog choke and then drops him with the Death Rider to finish at 14:14. Man that near fall off the distraction was HOT but putting Bailey over here wouldn’t have helped anyone so it was the right call. ***1/2

Meanwhile, Alex Windsor and Toni Storm have a “clearly non-sexual friendship” despite all evidence to the contrary.

Meanwhile, Moxley and Shafir find Yuta in a body bag in the parking lot, and save him from being run over by Darby, only to find a “Forbidden Door” note stapled to his head. Well that seems pretty clear.

Meanwhile, Mercedes Mone and her 8 belts show up and call Renee a mark.

Alex Windsor v. Skye Blue v. Queen Aminata v. Billie Starkz

Winner of this four-way goes to a four-way at Forbidden Door which is presumably for the TBS title. Toni Storm joins us at ringside as we learn that Athena gets a shot at the World title at Forbidden Door, but isn’t actually cashing in her conract, which means that we could get the storyline that WWE has never done: Heel with the briefcase earns a title shot and loses, but then cashes in right after the match and gets a SECOND shot at it and wins. Aminata does the butt-butts on Windsor and gets two, but Windsor trades takedowns with Skye and everyone fights to the floor with dives. We take a break and return with Skye trying Code Blue on Aminata, but Windsor breaks it up with a Blue Thunder Bomb and Billie saves that. Alex with a powerbomb on Billie for two. Windsor with a sharpshooter on Billie, but Aminata breaks that up. Windsor and Aminata throw headbutts and we get a double down. They trade big moves and Aminata gets a neckbreaker on Billie for two. Skye and Aminata fight on the floor and they do a fight for a chair that is all kinds of fucked up, but Athena tries to help Billie and Toni Storm stops her, allowing Windsor to roll up Billie for the pin at 12:05. This was very very messy but OK overall and had good heat. **1/4. So this brings out Mone to confront Windsor as poor Aubrey collapses under the weight of having to carry the 8 belts, and then Athena hits Storm with the O-Face in the fracas. Man they were trying to pack a LOT of stuff into this segment.

Meanwhile, the Young Bucks go yell at a random production guy and they want ALL THE PYRO and a proper introduction from Justin Roberts.

Kyle Fletcher joins us after shoving a screwdriver into Dustin Rhodes’ knee to win the TNT title last week. He promises that Dustin is now retired (which does seem likely) and declares himself the greatest TNT champion of all time. So Callis brings back the oil painting gimmick, with himself and a naked Kyle covered up by the TNT title. That is just awesomely dumb. I bet there’s already a shirt. My only note is that they probably should have hidden it from Fletcher until he got to the ring, and then maybe made the picture a smidge more homoerotic, like 22 or 23 percent at most, for maximum effect.

Meanwhile, COPE discusses his situation with FTR, and next week he’s facing Stokely in a match, and if FTR interferes, then it voids their restraining order.

The Young Bucks v. Bro-Dido

So as requested, Justin Roberts does the introduction for the Bucks EXACTLY as it says on the card, complete with punctuation, and then they get all the pyro before the graphic lists them as “Max and Jeremy”. “That’s an obscure reference” notes Taz. Bandido holds them off by himself and sends them to the floor, then follows with a moonsault before Brody beats on Generation Me with a splash on the railing as we take a break. Back with Bandido hitting a crossbody on Matt for two. Bucks regroup and double-team Brody to take over, however, and the Risky Business gets two. Nick chokes him out in the corner and they hit the sliced bread for two. But then another double-team goes sideways on them and Brody makes a hot tag to Bandido. But then Bucks regroup and double-team him with the 450 senton for two and a pair of dives onto the floor for a double down outside. We take another break and return with Brody getting a hot tag and splashing both Bucks in the corner before hitting them with a cannonball to the floor. Bandido gets his own somersault dive off the middle rope, and back in with a frog splash on Nick for two. Brody tries to slam his partner onto Nick, but Nick gets the knees up and Matt goes up and then gets brought down with a superplex from Brody. Bandido misses his 450 off Brody and the Bucks come back with superkicks and the TK Driver on Bandido gets two. The Bucks spike Bandido with a DDT on the apron, but they try that same shit with Brody and it backfires on Matt. So Nick hits Brody with a tornado DDT on the floor instead. And we get a superkick battle with Nick and Bandido standing on the railing, until Bandido presses Nick from the railing onto his brother in a crazy spot. Back in the ring, Bandido with the 21Plex on Matt for two, but Nick saves. So Bandido takes Matt to the top for a fallaway slam off the top, and that gets two. And then Brody alley-oops Bandido into a 450 on Matt, and THAT gets the pin at 20:35 to send them to the finals. The Bucks just out there pulling amazing matches out of guys like it’s nothing. ****1/2. Also this was a rare time where TK booked a TV match where I had no idea who was winning and I was surprised by the finish, which is a very pleasant change of pace.

Meanwhile, MVP extends congratulations and best wishes to whoever wins the tag tournament, but MJF stops by and MVP has to remind him that there’s no “I” in “team”. So he’s cutting Max loose from the team because it’s only business.

Meanwhile, FTR sees through COPE and his games and they can’t be held responsible for the damage Big Stoke does to him next week.

Swerve Strickland joins Renee to discuss his upcoming match with Okada at Forbidden Door, and since he lost two matches in London, he’s going to get his groove back by beating Okada in London.

Meanwhile, Mark Briscoe figures out that he might be in contention for a shot at Hangman Page, and that brings Hangman with words of wisdom for him.

Meanwhile, Kris Statlander crashes Willow’s promo in the name of womanhood and gives Renee an uncomfortable hug, but Willow still isn’t interested in making up.

MJF v. Mark Briscoe

Mark tries for the Jay Driller right away but MJF bites his head to escape and then escapes to the floor. Then he runs into the crowd to prevent any dives, so Mark follows him out for a brawl, beats his ass for a bit, and then sends him back to ringside and dives over the railing with a blockbuster off a chair. Mark finds a table and runs MJF into the post, so again MJF runs away from the fight and hits Mark from behind to take over. More importantly, we have an ANNOUNCED CARD for Collison as well as Dynamite for next week! MJF chokes Briscoe out in the corner and suplexes him onto the top rope as we take a break. Back with Max working an abdominal stretch before getting caught using the ropes. By the way, is there a guy on the hard cam side cosplaying as Kevin Nash’s Arn Anderson impression? Because that’s awesomely specific. Briscoe comes back with a corner splash and goes up for the froggy bow, but MJF rolls out again, so this time Briscoe drops the elbow onto the floor. Back in the ring, MJF rolls out again, but Briscoe puts him on the table and MJF rolls away AGAIN. He’s the Last Inaction Hero. So Briscoe charges in and gets caught in an Alabama Slam and Boston crab as a result. Briscoe counters into a cradle for two and fights off the Heakseeker with a mouth full of blood, but he goes up to the top and MJF crotches him to bring him down. Max tries the tombstone off the top and Briscoe fights out of that and bites him “like a tree or whatever back on the farm” before finally dropping that froggy bow for two. Back to the floor and Mark tries the table spot again, but misses the elbow and goes through the table himself. Mark teases the countout and then beats the count, but MJF hits him with the Heatseeker on the way in for the pin at 17:30, with the ref missing the foot on the ropes. And then MJF completes the burial by hitting Briscoe with the ring, knocking him out, while Hangman Page hits the ring and brawls with MJF to set up the PPV main event. Interestingly, this means that both World title matches have the same subplot, with the challengers also holding the magic contract so they can cash in and get a second chance if they lose. Great match with a weak finish here. ****. And MJF brawls with Page all over the arena and then runs away to end the show.

Well that second hour was GREAT and we have a very clear direction for the top World title matches at the PPV, and they’re out of that stupid Chicago residency, so this was a win.