The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.30.25

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 07.30.25

Hey, look, I haven’t watched this week’s show yet so I don’t wanna go busting on the product for no reason, but the last two weeks of AEW TV haven’t been great. They really need to get the hell out of Chicago and not do this residency thing for a while, because the shows are looking rinky-dink and the crowd isn’t exactly super-hot. I can appreciate trying it, but the ballroom has worn out its welcome and it’s time to go. I think the problem might be that the audience reached their emotional peak with the end of Moxley’s reign of terror and now it’s a big long denouement where they’re struggling to find something to get people excited again, I dunno. But something clearly isn’t working right now and TK needs to reset and move in a different direction somehow.

Also, the Blue Jays are raising my blood pressure these days. Like yeah the Yankees aren’t gonna catch them because they suck right now, but come on, guys!

Also, I have an important announcement: I’ve really been into that Foxy Shazam song since the Peacemaker trailer dropped. Damn, why haven’t I heard of these guys before now?

Also, RIP Champagne Gerry Morrow.

Live from Chicago, IL

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Taz

Tag team tournament quarterfinals: The Outrunners v. Matt & Nick Jackson

Man I’m almost feeling sorry for the Bucks at this point. They don’t even get an entrance and the graphic is “Talent Name” with “Social Media” underneath. The Outrunners get double backdrops to start and slug away in the corners, and it’s DOUBLE ATOMIC DROPS as the local competitors are chased out of the ring. They regroup with stereo topes and back in for a double dropkick on Turbo, showing some tremendous disrespect for veterans, and that gets two. But then Truth gets a hot tag and runs wild for a bit, until the Jackson brothers manage to double-team him in the corner. To the floor for a moonsault from Nick (or is it Matt? Hard to tell them apart) and we take a break. Back with Matt cutting off another tag and young Nick hits Truth with a spinning kick while Matt does a cutter on Turbo on the floor. Risky Business on Truth gets two. Hot tag to Turbo and he hits them with FULL BODY LIFT AND SLAMS and a twisting suplex on Matt. But then Nick superkicks the YOU SON OF A BITCH, so Turbo gets all fired up and they hit clotheslines and redo the move for two. The crowd was ready to POP for that finish. Bucks clear the ring and Matt hits a sliced bread on Truth for two. Superkick misses and Truth rolls him up for two. But then Matt goes low and the ref shoves him over into a rollup for two. Bucks collide and the Total Recall gets two. But then Matt sends them into each other and rolls up Turbo with a handful of tights for two. TK Driver finishes at 13:47 as the Bucks give yet another team their best match ever. Or you could also argue that the Outrunners used their veteran wiles to make the Bucks THINK that they were carrying the youngest men alive to a great match. Really you can go either way with it. ***3/4. This brings out Okada for a beatdown on the Runners, but Swerve makes the save. This Bucks anti-push is bizarre, as they’re supposed to be getting humbled and I’m assuming setting up a redemption arc but they just keeping winning matches. It’s really offputting as a fan because although I don’t need the promotion to hold my hand and tell me how to feel about everything, the Bucks getting treated like jobbers but still looking like a million bucks and winning all their matches is some pretty dramatic mixed signals.

Meanwhile, Mark Briscoe is trying to do a promo and Ricochet stops by to annoy him and everyone else.

Meanwhile, MJF tries to suck up to Shelton Benjamin and mend fences, but Shelton reveals that Max actually gave him a knockoff Rolex when trying to get into the Syndicate, and they knew about it all along. And so MJF is out of the team as far as Shelton is concerned.

Christian Cage joins us, and he admits that he’s an asshole, and accuses the Patriarchy of riding his coattails while he carried the team. The crowd doesn’t really know what to do with him, as he’s definitely not a babyface. So they’re just dead for the whole thing as Christian keeps losing his train of thought and this goes on FOREVER. So Mother Wayne comes out to slap Christian after his slut-shaming comments about her, and that allows Kip and Nick to attack Christian and give him an old school Conchairto.

Meanwhile, FTR and Stokely rant about their grievances. And the Young Bucks stop by to set up our presumable finals for the tournament.

AEW World title: Hangman Page v. Jon Moxley

Everyone banned from ringside and the ring is surrounded by security geeks to make sure. Page slugs away in the corner and they trade chops as I note his sweet cow hide chaps. Really though, living in Saskatchewan has taught me that you’re not a real cowboy unless you have the full ensemble of chaps, cowboy boots, cowboy hat, bolo tie with cow skull fastener, and most importantly of all a giant gold belt buckle with JESUS IS LORD engraved on it. Anything less and you’re just wasting my time. Moxley beats on Hangman in the corner and slams him for two, but Page tosses him out and follows with a dive. Back in, death valley driver gets two, but Mox goes after the arm until Page powerbombs him for two. To the floor and they fight out there, where Mox piledrives him on the stairs as we take a break. Back with Moxley beating on him with kicks, but Page hits him with a Saito suplex for a double down after a lariat. Page tries for the buckshot and Moxley dropkicks him off the apron and into the desk, but Hangman fights back with the Deadeye onto the desk. Back in the ring, Page with a lariat for two. Mox counters a moonsault, and Page catches him and flips him up into a tombstone for two. Hangman stops to try some Danielson stomps, but takes too long and Moxley reverses him into the bulldog choke. Page counters out of that and turns it into the Lebell Lock for another Danielson reference like he’s James Gunn doing a needle drop, but Mox makes the ropes. Page foolishly follows him out to the apron, where Mox piledrives him on the HARDEST PART OF THE RING and then follows with a Gotch piledriver in the ring for two. Hangman fights out of the Death Rider and they engage in fisticuffsmanship until Mox is discombobulated and bamboozled, allowing Page to send him to the floor and follow with the moonsault. Back in for the buckshot, but Mox ducks it and the ref is bumped as everyone is out. So now the run-ins as Marina gives Mox the belt and he knocks Page down for two while the Death Riders provide a diversion outside. But then Darby appears again and dives off the balcony onto the pile of heels before disappearing into the back again, and the buckshot lariat sets up the Deadeye and a second buckshot finishes at 25:40. And that’s it for Moxley and Page has put him away once and for all, thankfully. ****1/2

Toni Storm & Alex Windsor v. Athena & Billie Starkz

Windsor trades takedowns with Athena and it’s over to Toni. Billie gets a cheapshot kick and Toni takes her down with a headlock, and we get some unique double-teams from Toni and Alex as they dance into stomps on Billie in the corner. Windsor with a draping DDT on Billie for two, but Toni chases Athena around the ring and gets caught by Billie. Back in the ring, Windsor gets catapulted into a spinebuster from Athena and we take a break. Back with Billie hitting a double stomp in the corner and they continue working on Windsor in the corner. Alex makes the comeback with a running clothesline on Athena and a discus lariat for two. Storm finally gets the hot tag and uses the MONGOLIAN CHOPS on Billie before taking her down and slugging away on her. Hip attack in the corner, but Athena hits the O Face and pins Toni at 10:56. But no cash in this time around. Decent match but Alex Windsor is one of the least interesting characters they’ve shoved down our throats in a long time. **1/2. Really they couldn’t follow the World title match but Toni was the only one even vaguely over here.

Meanwhile, MJF continues crashing out and challenges Hangman yet again, this time playing the “Swerve was a better champion” card unsuccessfully. So Hangman tells him to beat Mark Briscoe in a fair fight if he wants a title match.

Meanwhile, Willow challenges Thekla for Collision tomorrow night.

Ricochet v. Mark Briscoe

Briscoe beats him down in the corner and whips him into the buckle. They trade chops in the corner and slug it out as the GOA join us for distraction, allowing Ricochet to send Mark to the floor and follow with a dive. We take a break and return with Briscoe making a comeback, but GOA takes him to the floor and allows Ricochet to dive onto him. Back in the ring, Ricochet with the springboard clothesline and shooting star press for two. I know we say this often but does this match REALLY warrant a 10 minute overrun? Spirit Gun misses and Briscoe springboards off a chair on the floor to make the comeback, but Ricochet blocks the Jay Driller and the Gates distract the ref and allow Ricochet to hit Vertigo for two. More interference from the Gates, but Bro-Dido take them out and Mark cradles for two. Ricochet fires back with kicks and the enzuigiri. Briscoe with a lariat and Jay Driller to finish at 13:20. Didn’t particularly care for this one. It was technically fine but they couldn’t follow the World title match either and there was too much interference. **3/4 So Mark throws out a challenge to MJF RIGHT NOW, even though we’re already way over time. So MJF pops up on the big screen and denies the request, but then the real MJF attacks in the ring until Hangman Page makes the save as we finally wrap it up FIFTEEN MINUTES past the hour. So it’s looking like Page’s first PPV defense will be a three way with Briscoe and MJF, which should be a good match at least.

Another one I’m very, very mixed on. A pair of great matches, but man that World title match destroyed everything for the rest of the show and no one could follow it. I have no idea why they didn’t close with it. The Bucks booking is so bizarre right now as well. It feels like we’re three weeks out from the Texas show where they blew everything off and they’re still waiting to really pull the trigger on getting all the programs going again for the next PPV.