The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 03.04.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 03.04.26

Live from Old El Paso, TX, where I’ve heard they take their salsa SERIOUSLY.

Your hosts are Excalibur & Tony Schiavone

We get an immediate oops as they start the video package for MJF & Hangman too soon and Excalibur has to go back and start again.

AEW World title: MJF v. Kevin Knight

Apparently Max’s “Big Hebrew” gear didn’t go over very well with some people on social media. MJF with an armdrag to start and he clarifies for the crowd what it’s called. Knight with his own armdrags, showing that he’s a fast learner, and he works the arm to take control. UFO Splash misses and Max puts him down with a knee and follows with the running crotch thrust. Knight rolls him up for two, however. MJF hits him with another knee to put him down again, and then whips him into the corner to further punish the ribs. Knight fights back with a clothesline off the middle rope and follows with a FULL BODY LIFT AND SLAM and splash for two. But that hurts his ribs further. He goes up and Max bails to the floor to escape, so Knight hits him with a dive. Back in the ring, Knight escapes the Heatseeker and gets a DDT for two and they’re both down. Max with an Alabama Slam and F5 to further work the ribs, and that gets two. Knight reverses a suplex into a cradle for two. They trade cradles off a sunset flip for two and MJF goes to the floor again, so Knight hits him with another dive and we take a break. A LIMITED break of 90 seconds! Back with Knight hitting a moonsault off the railing, but they head up to top and Max cuts him off, only to get hung in the Tree of Woe. Knight with the Coast to Coast and he goes up again for the UFO Splash, but the ref is bumped on the way down and it only gets two. So he goes up again and hits knees this time, and that sets up the Heatseeker to finish at 16:55. A very different type of match for Knight, with a slower pace and more psychology, and unsurprisingly he was really good here as well. ***3/4

Orange Cassidy & Darby Allin v. Gabe Kidd & Clark Connors

They brawl on the floor to start and Darby dropkicks Clark into the railing while Gabe guillotines Orange on the stairs, followed by Connors spearing him into the timekeeper’s table. Into the ring, Kidd hits Darby with a lariat and fisherman’s buster as we take a break. Back with Darby taking his trademark bump onto the apron and to the floor, landing right on his head. As usual. Back in, Orange gets the hot tag after Connors using his belt goes sideways, and he runs wild and hits Kidd with a flying clothesline. PK on Connors and the Beach Break gets two. Orange with the stunner into a Code Red from Darby. The Dogs bail to the floor and Darby hits them with the Coffin Drop, and Orange finishes Connors with the Orange Punch at 7:24. *** Kind of surprised they blew it of for the babyfaces so quickly, actually. And then David Finlay makes his AEW debut, attacking the babyfaces with his dad’s Whacking Day stick. I appreciate more focus on newer, younger guys, but they really need some wins now.

Meanwhile, Renee interviews Bandido and Andrade in advance of their PPV match next week.

The Brawling Birds v. The Iinspiration

I really hope Tony didn’t waste a lot of money on these two. I didn’t think it was a particularly good gimmick in WWE and it hasn’t improved any since they left. The Birds chop them in the corner to start and wipe the ring with them, and then finish with a Hart Attack and double pin at 1:30. That’s about right.

Hangman Page v. Marty Snow

Temu Low-Ki attacks to start and eats the buckshot lariat as a result, and Hangman gets the pin at 0:10. Not sure why they even stopped the music, to be honest. And then Page warns MJF that Texas Death means no conscience, and demands Max join him and try to take a shot with the diamond ring right now. So this brings out MJF, worried about having to whoop on the Cowboy too much in one week, but that is just a setup for the Callis Family to attack and destroy Page. JetSpeed makes the save, but Don Callis thinks that the babyfaces are greedy for coming after singles titles. So they can defend the Trios titles TONIGHT IN THIS VERY RING in the main event against Mark Davis, Okada & Kyle Fletcher. That’s the first time in a long time I can remember where they do on-the-fly booking like that. Usually it would be for Collision or the next week’s show or whatever. I wonder if something got scrapped?

Meanwhile, FTR and the Young Bucks sit down for a discussion of their upcoming title match, and although there’s no physicality allowed, poor Brandon Cutler gets punched because I guess he doesn’t officially count.

Continental title eliminator: Jon Moxley v. Hechicero

They trade wristlocks and Moxley stomps the hand, so Hechicero rolls him around in a facelock and Jon has to reverse out of that. Hechicero twists the neck as the crowd is very split here thanks to the location. They trade shoulderblocks and Hech slugs away in the corner until Mox counters with SMALL JOINT MANIPULATION and fires back. Hechicero tries for the armbar and Mox reverses out of that, so he goes up with a flying elbow instead and gets two. We take a break and return with Hechicero tying him up with the Lasso From El Paso and then trying a sleeper from the apron. Moxley pulls him in with a cutter to break that up. Hechicero takes out the knee and goes up again, but Mox brings him down with a superplex and shoots the half for two. Hech goes to the knee again with another submission attempt and Mox makes the ropes. So it’s a slugfest and it’s time for the straps to come down, as Hech makes the comeback and hits Mox with a jumping knee in the corner until Moxley lays him out with a punch. Hech rolls him into a crazy rolling cradle and that gets two. Hech misses a charge and Moxley curb stomps him and then follows with a knee strike and Death Rider to finish at 14:43. This was a really cool submission battle and Moxley looked like he was having a lot of fun rolling around out there. ***1/2.

Brody King joins us to lay out the challenge to Swerve, and of course Prince Nana answers and provides distraction for Swerve to attack from behind with his chain. And Swerve chokes him out and hangs him in the ropes until Bandido makes the save. Swerve has become quite the unlikeable heel recently.

Meanwhile, Wheeler Yuta reveals his shorn skull and the Death Riders continue their confusing dance between heel and babyface.

AEW World Women’s title: Thekla v. Thunder Rosa

Rosa runs her into the turnbuckles to start and throws chops, sending her to the floor. Rosa runs her into the apron and follows with a dive off the railing, but Thekla stomps the back off the apron as we take a break. Back with Thekla getting the hanging choke in the corner, but Rosa fights back with the stunner and a corner clothesline, and a northern lights suplex gets two. They fight to the top and slug it out until Thekla brings her down with a Spider suplex into the spear. But she picks Rosa up at two and continues the beating. Rosa comes back with a cutter and Fire Thunder Driver for two. Thekla does the spooky spider bridge to dodge a charge, hits another spear, and then follows with curb stomp, twice, and pins her to retain at 11:04. I continue to really like Thekla but these two didn’t have a lot of chemistry. It was pretty average overall. **1/2. Afterwards the Spooky Sisters go for the beatdown, but Statlander makes the save. Oddly they haven’t actually announced a title match for the PPV yet.

Meanwhile, Ricochet and Jack Perry have words for each other, setting up the National title match at some point.

Tommaso Ciampa joins Renee, and he notes that Fletcher has stolen his belt and is now hiding behind tag team matches. This brings out FTR, who offer an unexpected hug of welcome and offer him a spot in FTR. But Ciampa doesn’t like Stokely and picks a fight over it, which will apparently lead to something on Collision.

Meanwhile, Orange Cassidy is licking his wounds, but Toni Storm stops by the recovery room to offer a pep talk.

World Trios title: JetSpeed & Hangman Page v. Mark Davis, Kazuchika Okada & Kyle Fletcher

It’s another crazy long overrun as the match doesn’t even start until after the hour, and everyone brawls on the floor. Bailey takes Kyle down with a rana in the ring, but Davis clobbers him with a clothesline off the middle rope and the Callis Family goes to work on him. Okada gets a senton, but Bailey cradles Kyle for two and brings in Hangman. Page clears the ring and puts Fletcher down with a big boot. They hit a triple dropkick on him and everyone slugs it out and we take a break. Back with the chaos continuing as Aussie Open double-teams Knight in the corner, but Bailey tosses Fletcher and hits him with a crazy dive. Back in the ring, Bailey kicks Kyle down and hits a shooting star for two. The moonsault knees get two, but Okada saves. Bailey counters the Rainmaker with a spinkick, and it’s hot tag Hangman for a slugfest with Davis. Deadeye gets two as Fletcher saves. Bailey catches him with a poison rana to put him on the floor and follows with a moonsault to the floor. Page skins the cat and hits Davis with a lariat, but MJF pulls him out of the ring and attacks him, allowing Okada to hit Knight with the Rainmaker and Davis finishes with the piledriver to win the titles at 13:45. Glad to see Mark Davis continuing to get used and appreciated. The match ruled, of course. ****

Kind of a weird show with some bizarre timing decisions and pacing. There was, as usual, enough good wrestling to make it enjoyable, but the FTR-Ciampa thing at the top of the hour was really strange and it really felt like something was cut at the last minute and they had to move everything around to compensate. Not excellent like the last few weeks, but still a very good episode.