The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 02.25.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 02.25.26

HOT DAMN SCRUBS IS BACK, BABY!

Live from Denver, CO

Your hosts are Excalibur, Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuinness

Continental title eliminator: Jon Moxley v. El Clon

Clon having a corrupted version of Hologram’s entrance video is a pretty awesome touch. They trade headlocks to start as Clon frustrates Mox and then takes him down with armdrags while doing his wacky poses. They take it to the floor and Mox slugs away on him and runs him into the railing, and back in for a drop suplex that gets two. Jon with a crossface and Clon makes the ropes, so Mox puts him down with a chop and Clon does a wacky sell off that. Clon goes with the tag rope for a choke in response and hits Mox with a suplex, and then lets Mox bail to the floor before hitting him with a dive and a moonsault off the railing as we take a break. Back with Clon holding a submission stretch in the ring, but Mox bails to the floor again and catches him with an elbow to block a dive. Curb stomp on the apron, the HARDEST PART OF THE RING, draws the 9 count, but Moxley clotheslines him back to the floor and hits him with another dive. Back in the ring, Clon hits him with an enzuigiri, but Moxley puts him down with a lariat and follows with a piledriver for two. Clon tries his bridge and Mox counters him with a choke, but Clon hits him with a Pele Kick to send him to the floor, and then follows with a very dangerous moonsault from inside the ring to the floor. But then back in, Moxley counters another dive with a cutter and it’s a double down. They both pop up and Clon counters out of a curb stomp before rising up again and kicking Mox down. To the top for a double stomp, which gets two. Clon tries the Portal Bomb, but Mox reverses into the DDT and then the Death Rider to finish at 17:33. Moxley’s been on a heater with these opening matches lately. ***1/2 Glad to see Clon continuing to get featured with his wacky broken offense.

Last week: Swerve and Omega tear the house down, and then Swerve turns on him to find his edge again. And then Swerve joins us and kicks the announcers out of the table with help from newly evil Prince Nana, and we learn that what REALLY pissed Swerve off was Kenny calling someone else “the most dangerous”. So although he regretted his evil ways on the way to the World title the first time, he no longer regrets it and in fact he’s gonna start clipping people whenever they get in his way.

Meanwhile, Brody King is going to prove that in fact Kenny Omega was correct to call him the most dangerous.

Orange Cassidy v. Gabe Kidd

Orange is apparently offering a massive $15 gift card reward for information on the disappearance of Roderick Strong. Gabe puts the boots to Orange right away and tosses him around the ring, but Orange backslides him for one. Cradle gets two. Kidd slugs him down with a forearm to the jaw and that gets two as we take a break. Back with Orange trying the DDT and Kidd drops him on the top turnbuckle to put him on the floor. Back in, Kidd tries a suplex and Orange reverses to the stunner to come back and follows with the DDT for two. Another one sets up the Orange Punch, but Kidd blocks that with his own punch and powerbombs him for two. They exchange shots for a double down, but Orange fights back with brutal chops and the Beach Break for two. Gabe rakes the eyes and hits the piledriver for the pin at 10:15. This brings out Clark Connors for the beatdown, but Darby Allin quickly makes the save and fights them off with his skateboard. ***

Meanwhile, Thunder Rosa and her new friend Kris Statlander are prepared for Thekla next week, although Rosa seems much more reckless about the match then Kris would like.

Kevin Knight v. Mansoor

Mansoor gets his pose in to start, but Knight hits him with an atomic drop and dropkick while Mansoor trips all over himself. Mansoor manages to put the boots to him in the corner and follows with an atomic drop into a spinebuster, but he misses a moonsault. Knight comes back with a clothesline and hits him with a rana and DDT, to set the up the UFO splash to finish at 2:51. Basic AEW Dark match, but it was fun. **. And Kevin Knight also wants a singles title to go with his tag title, which is good because there’s a lot of them.

Hangman Page and MJF join us to finalize their stipulations for the PPV. And MJF brings up the sore subject of the FIRST guy who lost his ability to ever challenge for the World title. So he’s got a quarter and offers to flip it to determine the winning stip, which I’m sure is completely on the up-and-up. MJF’s stip offer: The one-way No DQ match, where only Hangman can be disqualified. Page isn’t really impressed with that idea, because if he can’t beat a piece of shit like Max, he doesn’t deserve to be champion. And then MJF flips the coin, which SHOCKINGLY comes up heads. This brings out Hangman’s friends, who reveal that in fact the coin was RIGGED AND STOLLEN, and so Tony Khan makes it a Texas Death Match after all. I mean, obviously the whole crowd was way ahead of the angle, but it fits the cowardly character perfectly to try it. Page has gotta win that belt, though.

AEW Women’s tag team title: The Babes of Wrath v. Megan Bayne & Penelope Ford

Bayne and Willow trade shots and Ford gets a rollup for two off that. The Babes double-team Ford and send the challengers to the floor for a brawl out there, but Bayne dives onto them and Ford follows with a moonsault which mostly misses but looks impressive at least. We take a break and return with Willow running wild on Bayne and hitting a spinebuster for two. Back to the floor for a cannonball from Willow but Lena Kross runs in for the DQ at 8:19. Kind of a bullshit finish to a disappointing match. *1/2. Now I’m assuming something bad happened to Penelope on that missed moonsault, because she disappeared after the break and the run-in from Kross was hella awkward. I think they should have won the belts here had Penelope not been hurt, because it would have been the right time and team for the title change.

Brody King v. Mark Davis

They trade MEAT shots to start and Mark is still selling his broken hand from last week in a nice touch. He needs to go full Iron Mike Sharpe and get a legal forearm protector. Brody with a death valley driver while the crowd amuses themselves with “Fuck Don Callis / Fuck ICE too” and we take a break as they fight to the floor. Back with Brody hitting him with a dive into the railing, and he follows with the bodyblock into the railing. Gotta say, Mark Davis as a Punch Out villain with his one glaring weakness in the right hand could be a fun concept. Back in the ring, Brody with a cannonball, but Davis gets a sleeper, so Brody stomps the injured hand. They trade lariats, but Davis uses his band arm again, and Brody gets his own lariat to finish at 10:17. BIG MEATY MEN SLAPPING MEAT. This gets four ham hocks out of five. Afterwards, Brody issues a challenge to Swerve, and Bandido wants Andrade, and man those should both rule.

Meanwhile, we get the impending debut of PROTO-KADA on Collision.

Ricochet, GOA & FTR v. Jungle Jack Perry, The Young Bucks & The Rascalz

Everyone brawls to Baltimora as this is an anything goes match and they all immediately fight into the crowd. We get a wacky spot with Stokely getting used as a weapon. This proves to be so fun that they restart the song when it ends, and the crowd goes wild. FOR BALTIMORA. The crazy brawl continues on the floor as the song finally fades out before it costs TK any more royalties, and the Demand takes over with chairshots and goes to work on the Rascalz in the ring. We take a break and return with the other emergency backup Rascal joining us and using a fire extinguisher on Toa before running wild on FTR and hitting a giant dive. FTR catches him, but Perry gets his own dive and then uses a LOADED VACUUM CLEANER on Toa for two in an incredible spot. If he used mine there would have been husky hair all over the arena. Ricochet comes off the top and takes a trash can off the bald, and the Bucks double-team him and crush the can with a swanton for two. FTR saves but we get a double SUPERKICK PARTY from the Rascalz and Bucks. Bucks set up a table, but Toa suplexes them in. So we get QUINTUPLE SUPERKICKto put him down and Jack tries a piledriver, but gets backdropped through the table outside. Wentz runs wild but runs into Toa and gets smacked down, which sets up a Power Plex into a 450 from Ricochet that gets two. Everyone piles up on the floor and the Bucks pair up with FTR in the ring, while the Rascalz put Ricochet through another table with a double Spanish fly outside. Next up, the Bucks and Perry team up to put Toa through a table outside. The crowd astutely chants “One more table!” and the Bucks put Cash through that one to oblige, and then the Elite destroy Ricochet and pin him after Perry’s running knee at 19:00. I assume that sets up another title shot for Jungle Jack. And I know I say this often, but this was one of the damnedest things I’ve ever seen, with that vacuum cleaner spot alone warranting a place in history, along with Stokely and his evil lucha mask. This was truly a Stefan match because IT HAD EVERYTHING. *****

This show continues their insane run of PPV quality matches and crazy fun this week. Keep up the momentum into Revolution!