The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 02.21.24

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 02.21.24

Live from Tulsa OK

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Tony Schiavone

Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli v. FTR

This is stemming from the Mox v. Dax match last week, in case Ice Cube Jr is watching and needs clarification on the story. Also Ice Cube Jr would be a sick name for a luchador. Also I have tickets to go see Ice Cube Sr. here on Monday, with Xzibit opening, and we may or may not be the whitest people in the arena. I’m probably going to be part of the awkward demographic in the building that only knows Xzibit from his car modification career so we’ll see how that goes. Claudio and Cash trade forearms to start and Tony notes that Cash “came firing right back.” PHRASING. FTR double-teams Claudio in the corner and then bring Mox over and work on him as well, but the BCC bails and regroups. Back in, Moxley trades headbutts with Cash before FTR clears the ring with dropkicks. They brawl on the floor and Mox hits Dax with a dive, but Cash runs him into the stairs on the rebound and FTR takes over. And we get CLUBBERING in the corner from FTR, four fisties on one head, Tony! THEY BE CLUBBERING! Dax with the abdominal stretch and the casual assist from Cash on the apron. Smooth. Dax lays in the boots and slugs away in the corner, but Mox wallops him and it’s hot tag Claudio. So he beats on Dax in the corner to set up the Giant Swing, but Cash breaks it up, so Claudio hits them both with an electric chair drop at the same time. Back to the floor and BCC hits the piledriver on Dax out there as we take a break. Back with Claudio holding a sleeper on Dax, but he fights out and sends Claudio into the post to escape. Hot tag Cash and he runs wild with forearms and rolls up Mox for two. Brainbuster gets two. Mox escapes the Shatter Machine but walks into a Doomsday Device and that gets two. FTR with the PowerPlex, but Claudio breaks that up, so Dax sends him into the post and they reset and try again. But then Cash lands on Mox’s knees and knocks himself silly, allowing Claudio to hit the Giant Swing on Dax into a dropkick from Mox for two. Mox with the bulldog choke and we get double chokes, but Cash drops Claudio onto Mox to break it all up. So Dax takes Moxley down with a Sharpshooter now, and Cash occupies Claudio with german suplexes, but then Claudio gets his own Sharpshooter on Cash and he slugs it out with Dax while they’re still doing Sharpshooters! Dax piledrives Claudio, but Mox cradles Dax for two and tries another bulldog choke, but FTR hits the Shatter Machine and time is expired at 20:00. And they were DEAD ON with that time call as well! I always love when they can hit the timing perfectly like that. The crowd wants FIVE MORE MINUTES and they start brawling, but the geeks all run out and break things up so they’ll have to save it for another day. This was some awesome tag team wrestling with a wild brawl to cap it off, too! ****1/4.

Meanwhile, Renee recaps Orange’s life as of late, and apparently he’s still medically cleared despite his busy week.

Meanwhile, FTR is sick of BCC and issues a challenge for the PPV to settle things like men.

AEW International title: Orange Cassidy v. Mike Bennett

Orange thankfully punches Taven in his stupid face to head him off, and then batters Bennett with kicks in the corner before Mike tags him with a cheapshot. Bennett runs him into the corner and follows with a suplex for two. Snap suplex gets two. Orange with the stunner, but Roddy comes out to provide interference and Bennett punches Orange RIGHT IN THE DICK and piledrives him for two. We take a break and return with Bennett helping on commentary before hitting Orange with a death valley driver on the floor. Back in, they battle for a piledriver and Bennett wins that one, for two. Bennett beats him down with elbows, but Orange hits the Beach Break out of nowhere for the pin to retain at 9:50. And then the human plastic wrapped cheese slice in the sandwich of life, Matt Taven, comes in for the beatdown, but Jake Hager of all people makes the save. That was a rather abrupt babyface turn. Match was fairly good but nothing special as far as Orange’s title defenses go. **1/2.

Meanwhile, Ruby Soho and Angelo Parker finally get to go on their date as Ric Flair arrives.

Meanwhile, Ric is kind of annoyed that Sting isn’t including him in the retirement process, so now he’s exploring his options with the EVPs.

Daniel Garcia joins Tony, who announces that Garcia is the one getting the TNT title shot since Copeland is injured again. This of course brings out Christian and his family, and of course he did some research and discovered that Daniel’s FATHER IS DEAD. So Killswitch and Nick Wayne hit the ring for the attack, but Daddy Magic makes the save.

Meanwhile, Hangman Page bitches at his partners for later tonight, as RVD heard that Nana might have something he’d be interested in.

Toni Storm v. Sydni Winnell

I’m guessing Winnell is a big fan of Zack Ryder? Toni quickly beats her down and hits the hip attack after a black and white interlude, and the Storm Zero sets up her version of the Venus De Milo submission at 1:55.

Deonna Purrazzo v. Madison Rayne

I was kind of hoping we were done with Rayne on TV after she spent months stinking up Rampage, but I guess not. Deonna works a headlock to start as Taz clarifies that “he’s not good with Italian names” and manages to crack Excalibur. Deonna with a pump kick to send Madison to the floor as we take a break. Back with a double down off a clothesline and Deonna makes a comeback. Rayne is just all over the place and messes up a bunch of stuff, and Deonna taps her out with the anklelock at 7:25. Not good. *1/4. And then Toni hits the ring and returns the anklelock favor on Deonna, which is only fair since Deonna stole her finish. It’s a bigger injustice than the Infantry stealing the Outrunners’ patented finisher, the Miami Overdrive. Also the Turbotax move of the week is apparently Madison botching her bump and falling on her own head, which is certainly a choice.

Meanwhile, Darby Allin has a message for Nicholas and Matthew Jackson about family, and Sting now knows he’s not immortal or invincible after his father passed away last week. Better not tell Christian.

Wardlow joins Tony in the ring and he’s pissed because he’s not the next big thing anymore. Also he beat up that Best in the World guy and didn’t get a title shot, and then beat MJF and didn’t get a shot, and choked out Samoa Joe and still didn’t get a shot. This would seem to set up someone coming out to challenge him, but nope. This was kind of a hot mess but apparently it’s setting up MEAT MADNESS at the PPV so I’ll allow it.

Meanwhile, the Bang Bang Scissor Gang have some friction as we all struggle to figure out what the hell the point of the group even is.

Meanwhile, Don Callis is still pretty sure that Will Ospreay is 100% on board with the family. Also he’s got his eye on “the little cuck” Sammy Guevara.

Hook, Rob Vam Dam & Hangman Page v. Samoa Joe, Brian Cage & Swerve Strickland

Hook starts with Joe and puts him down with a clothesline, but Joe beats him down in the corner and Cage comes in for some shots as well. Over to RVD, who rolls him up with a legscissors for two, but Swerve comes in for the double-team. Over to Hangman and he gets into a slugfest with Swerve as we take a break. Back with Cage hitting a delayed suplex on Hook for two, but RVD gets a hot tag and cleans house. Five star frog splash on Cage gets two, but Joe makes the save and Swerve puts the boots to Rob and the heels take over in the corner. Joe with running elbows for two and we take another break. Back with Rob making a comeback on Joe with a springboard kick and it’s hot tag Hangman. He runs wild and hits Cage with a rana before beating on him with forearms and a death valley driver for two. It’s BREAKING LOOSE IN WHATEVER CITY THEY’RE IN and everyone hits the big moves but Hangman gets distracted by Swerve, thus preventing him from hitting the Buckshot on Cage. So Hook hits Cage with a german suplex off the top instead. Swerve and Cage double-team Hook, but Hangman saves with the Buckshot on Cage and everyone slugs it out. The big three fight to the floor and Page powerbombs Swerve through the announce desk to get rid of him. Back in the ring, Joe powerslams Page for two and tries the Muscle Buster, but Page flips out of it and has an awkward landing on his ankle before bailing out of the ring. Hook takes out Joe, but Cage breaks up RVD’s frog splash, and Joe chokes out RVD to end it at 20:51. Sure can’t say Rob has any kind of ego these days. Hopefully Hangman’s ankle is OK. Match was a bit chaotic but mostly good. ***

I’d call this one a generally enjoyable episode that set the table for the PPV nicely, although really the opener was the only true banger of the show.