The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.21.26

The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite – 01.21.26

Live from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Excalibur, Taz & Tony Schiavone

MJF joins us to start after beating Bandido last week, and 2026 is the year of the devil. No argument there. But this brings out Brody King, as Tony leaves the ring and wishes Max luck. Luckily, Brody is not here to rip out MJF’s spine, because Max is just a bitch anyway. So he wants a title match TONIGHT IN THIS VERY RING, but MJF is gonna have to decline because Brody hasn’t beaten anyone but tomato cans, jabronis and jobbers. So he leaves, but he wants to stress that he’s absolutely not afraid of Brody King whatsoever.

Meanwhile, Hangman and Jetspeed win the Trios titles from the Opps on Collision. Back at the arena, they workshop team names (Jet Set Rodeo narrowly beating out Horse Cock, thankfully) and Page challenges Shibata to a singles match on Collision.

Samoa Joe v. Mike Bailey

Joe appears to be in no mood for shenanigans tonight and beats Bailey into the corner with headbutts, but Bailey throws kicks and sends a frustrated Joe to the floor. Bailey tries a baseball slide and Joe just blasts him with a chop. So Bailey fires off a knee strike and follows with a moonsault to the floor, which brings out Shibata & Hook. Where’s the other guy? They punk Bailey out and we take a break. Back with Joe continuing to beat on Bailey, but Speedball fights back with a missile dropkick before going up with a shooting star press for two. They fight to the apron and Speedball SWEEPS THE LEG, but misses his kneedrop while Joe takes the ref. This allows Shibata to brutalize Bailey on the floor. Back in the ring, Joe goes to work on the leg and applies a kneebar. Bailey makes the ropes, so Joe throws more kicks and then traps Bailey’s leg for a heel hook and Bailey has to make the ropes. Joe keeps beating on the leg until Speedball uses the crane kick and moonsault kneedrop, and a head kick gets two. Bailey with the spinning kick into the corner, but Hook takes the ref and Joe reverses a rollup into the choke for two. Bailey with another kick and the Opps take the ref AGAIN, and that allows Joe to hit the Muscle Buster to finish at 15:23. They had a good match going until the break and then it just started dragging and they did all the House of Torture shit too much. **1/2. Also I find it annoying that they gave Jetspeed the big win for once and then immediately had Bailey doing a job on the next show.

Street Fight: Jon Moxley, Wheeler Yuta & Daniel Garcia v. Hechicero, Lance Archer & Rocky Romero

I heard Wheeler Yuta visits people’s houses and messes with the thermostat, and then leaves the front door open because he enjoys heating the whole neighborhood. He’s the worst. They all split off and brawl on the floor, as I increasingly don’t understand the dynamic with babyface Moxley and heel Death Riders here. The Death Riders triple-team Archer with corner clotheslines, but he takes Yuta to the floor and chokeslams him through the timekeeper table. We take a break and return with the Callis Family beating on Garcia with a trash can and then going after Moxley, but Mox makes a babyface comeback until Archer cuts him off with a bodypress. Lance sets up a table in the corner, but Marina confronts him and jumps into an armbar, allowing Moxley to hit a cutter. Archer slams him through the table, but Garcia and Yuta team up until Romero and Hechicero return for stereo abdominal stretches. But then Moxley saves, drawing a big babyface reaction despite the silent treatment for Yuta and Garcia, but he brings a barbed wire board into the ring and gets chokeslammed onto it by Archer for two. But then Pac comes out on crutches and beats on Archer with that, and Marina goes low on Hechicero, leaving Moxley to choke out Rocky. But he escapes and Garcia puts him out with the Sharpshooter instead at 15:07. So the Death Riders are suddenly just babyfaces now? Usual street fight stuff with the added weirdness of the Death Riders being kinda sorta babyfaces. **1/2

Meanwhile, Thekla challenges Statlander for next week.

FTR v. Jordan Oliver & Alec Price

Cash takes Oliver down with a headlock to start, but Oliver gets some shine with dropkicks to chase FTR to the floor. Back in, they double-team Wheeler’s arm as I go to check out helpbigstoke.com, but it doesn’t actually allow me to donate money to his cause, sadly. The young guys gets some nice double-team on Dax and Oliver gets a sunset flip for two. This angers Dax, and he beats them both down and chops Oliver in the corner until Oliver blocks a superplex for two. But then Price walks into the Shatter Machine and gets pinned at 8:04. They looked fine, but there’s a million guys in AEW already who do the same stuff. **

Meanwhile, Statlander and her besties threaten the Spooky Sisters.

Kenny Omega v. Josh Alexander

Alexander attacks during the ring entrance and runs Kenny into the apron, RIGHT IN THE DIVERTICULITIS, but Kenny moonsaults him off the railing and then hits a pescado for good measure. Into the ring, Omega gets a sling blade for two and takes him to the floor with a rana to set up the Terminator Dive. But Josh blocks it and slams Kenny on the apron and we take a break. Back with Josh in control with a knee strike and he takes Kenny to the middle rope for a fireman’s carry slam that gets two. Back to the floor, where Kenny suplexes him onto the exposed concrete and then follows with the Terminator Dive. Back in the ring for a neckbreaker that gets two, but they suplex each other off the apron for a double down out there. They slug it out on the floor as the ref appears uninterested in actually counting them out. Back in the ring as Josh goes for the leg now, and they head back to the floor, but Kenny catches him with a V Trigger on the way in, and then powerbombs him into another V Trigger for two. One Winged Angel finishes at 11:00. Good match, although they spent a lot of time on the floor to cover for Kenny. ***.

Megan Bayne & Penelope Ford v. Toni Storm & Mina Shirakawa

Glad to see Ford back already given how gnarly that arm injury apparently was. Big brawl to start and the Love Bombs double-team Bayne for one, but Bayne comes back and throws them around and out of the ring. Mina actually overshot Toni pretty badly there and and they take a while to make sure everyone is OK. And then Bayne throws Ford onto them as we take a break. Back with Mina getting double-teamed in the corner, and Bayne hits her with a german suplex. Mina fights back with a missile dropkick and it’s hot tag Toni. We get double hip attacks off the apron and Mina hits Ford with a sling blade for two. Ford gets a cutter for two and it’s BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA, as the heels hit Mina with a Doomsday Device for the pin at 10:50 while Marina runs in and chokes out Toni. She was way late with that one. Match was fine. **1/4

Kevin Knight v. Swerve Strickland

They trade takedowns to start and Swerve goes to the floor, allowing Knight to hit him with a dive. Back in with a crossbody and Kevin does some dancing, so Swerve chops him off the top rope and they fight on the floor, where Knight gets a nice shotgun dropkick off the apron as we take a break. Back with Swerve working the leg, but Knight slugs back and gets a suplex before making a comeback. Swerve misses the House Call kick and Knight splashes him for two. They fight to the top and Knight brings him down for a DDT that gets two. But they head to the floor and Swerve takes over again out there with a piledriver on top of the railing in a crazy spot. Back in the ring, Swerve hits him with a 450 and into a dragon sleeper, but Knight escapes that and they fight to the top as the crowd chants “Please be Careful” and Knight brings him down with a rana to set up the coast to coast dropkick. Knight with the UFO Splash, but Swerve is in the ropes and it only gets two. Swerve points to his head to indicate intelligence, so Knight gives him his own House Call Kick. And they slug it out, but Swerve hits him with a House Call Kick in mid-air and follows with a vertebreaker and JML Driver to finish at 17:00. Well that some kind of main event. ****1/4

Despite the awesome main event, the rest of the show was pretty uninspiring this week, mostly consisting of obvious finishes and hype for next week’s show, which has the REAL matches. This was a pleasant two hours, nothing more.