Not that it was going to be any great shock when it happened, but DC has cancelled their first batch of New 52 titles and OMAC was on the chopping block. Makes me glad that I dumped Men of War when I did, it was going nowhere. I’m pretty shocked that Grifter and Resurrection Man both survived, but I guess there’s always the next wave of cancellations. Not sure why they’d replace Men Of War with GI Combat right away, though. I am greatly looking forward to Earth 2, but I will miss my monthly dose of Giffen wackiness.
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The SmarK Royal Rumble Countdown: 1997
12th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Netcop Retro Rant for Royal Rumble 1997 I will refrain from commentating overly on the Vince Russo thing until I can make a proper column on the subject. Suffice it to say, I TOLD YOU SO, and everyone who flamed me for my “That’s [Sports] Entertainment” column back in October where I said that this exact situation would come about can start sending apologetic e-mail to me any day now. (2012 Scott sez: So that would place this rant in early 2000, when Russo got canned. And again, hard to believe that I could have any kind of proper perspective on a show only 3 years old at that point.) Live from San Antonio, TX Your hosts are Vince, Jerry & Good ol’ JRMinis fight in the Free 4 All match, but I’m not into it. Anyway, Mascarita Sagrata Jr. (who would later become Max Mini) and partner La Parkita (mini version of La Parka) defeat Mini Vader and Mini Mankind with a crucifix pin at 4:28. Opening match, Intercontinental title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. Goldust. I think we’ve covered the numerous differences between pre-DX Hunter and the current one to the point where it’s pointless to do so anymore, so I won’t. HHH brings Mr. Hughes with him as his new bodyguard, a role that would be usurped by Chyna at the very next PPV, and as a result would give him actual heat for the first time in his life. (2012 Scott sez: I can vaguely remember Hughes as bodyguard for Chris Jericho, but I totally blank on him getting paired with HHH for some reason.) Both guys bump around a bit at the start. Goldust drops the ring steps on HHH’s back. HHH sort of controls back in the ring, crowd is gone. Neither guy is over enough to make a difference to the heat in the match. Out of the ring again and they bump around some more. It’s just desperate attempts to get the crowd going, and it’s not working. Goldust tries dropping the stairs on HHH’s knee this time. He slowly works the leg back in the ring, boring the crowd even more. It should be noted that there’s about 60,000 people in the building, give or take (2012 Scott sez: 48000 or so, in fact. I think 60000 was the worked number.), and a lot of them are papered (2012 Scott sez: About 20000 of them I believe it was. It was pretty crazy. Like how the fuck do you even give out that many tickets? That’s like an entire arena show given away for free!), which means that something pretty drastic needs to hook them. HHH bails, but gets clipped and dropped on the stairs knee-first. Enough with the damn stairs already! HHH gains control again as I fight to stay awake. Goldust comes back, but misses an elbow from the top and HHH gets the title belt from Hughes. Goldust steals it away and nails him, but Hughes pulls Hunter out at two. More wackiness leads to Hunter nailing Goldust from behind and hitting the Pedigree to retain at 16:45. ¼* JR assures us that this issue is far from settled. Lucky us. Faarooq v. Ahmed Johnson. This is your basic “You injured me so I’m gonna kick your ass” match, although by the time Ahmed returned from his injury the issue was pretty much forgotten. This one really should have happened at Summerslam 96 as was intended. Faarooq gets the crap beat out of him and they brawl out of the ring. Faarooq sacrifices an unnamed (but proud future European champion) Nation member to Ahmed (2012 Scott sez: That was D-Lo Brown in case you weren’t around when anyone cared about him.) and then jumps him to take control. Chinlock follows. Faarooq goes aerial but gets powerslammed. Ahmed charges and Faarooq hits a spinebuster, then Ahmed comes back with his own and everyone runs in for the lame DQ at 8:45. ½* The feud would drag on for most of the rest of 1997, before Ahmed disappeared for good. Notable spot of the night: Ahmed powerbombs another anonymous Nationeer through the French announce table. (2012 Scott sez: Man, that feud just had no legs. Maybe they should have just teamed them up as Doom 2.0 or something.) Vader v. Undertaker. If there was an issue here, damned if I can remember it. Slugfest to start, UT no-sells all of it. Vader was working loose as all hell, which was part of his problem in the WWF. Jericho is discovering the same thing, apparently. (2012 Scott sez: What a bunch of bullshit that was. Can you believe people used to slag CHRIS JERICHO for not being able to work? In 2000?!) Vader puts him down a few times, but he keeps sitting up. UT hits a fameasser out of nowhere and a slam. Legdrop gets two. Vader counters the ropewalk with leverage, and then hits a lowblow (with great facials from UT), and we head to the resting portion of the match. Second rope splash is converted to a powerslam by Taker, but Vader fights up and powerbombs him for two. UT comes back with the ropewalk and a chokeslam. Paul Bearer waddles out to ringside as Vader’s new manager and gets beaten up. He does manage to waffle UT with the urn, however, and Vader splashes and pins him at 13:17 as a result. Bleh. *1/2 for some nice power stuff. I would be remiss in not mentioning British Bulldog’s cult-favorite Rumble soundbite here, as he emerges from his car and says he’ll win the Rumble because “I’M BIZAAAAAAAAAARRE!” British people, help me out here, is this like one of those charming overseas sayings that doesn’t have any sort of meaning anywhere else in the civilized world or just Davey Boy adlibbing after one too many milk injections? (2012 Scott sez: Joke explanation: Dynamite Kid was on the Wrestling Observer radio show many years back and told a story about meeting young Davey Boy when they were both teenagers, but DK was the more experienced wrestler at that point. Davey kept bugging him for steroids, so finally Kid relented and taught him how to inject it into his ass cheeks. So then on the road the next day, Kid kept going “Mooo!” every time they drove past a farm. Finally Davey snapped at him and asked why he was mooing the whole way, and Kid told him that he had been injecting himself with milk the whole time.) Jerry Estrada, Heavy Metal & Fuerza Guerrera v. Perro Aguayo, Canek & Hector Garza. This was during the WWF’s “We’re so desperate for fresh talent we’ll even work with AAA” period, which ended up being a slight problem because Eric Bischoff already had rights to almost every luchador in Mexico, even if he never planned on using 90% of them. My notes on this entire match read “Crowd is dead silent as they flip and flop around like RVD and make contact maybe 4 times in the whole match”, so suffice it to say it’s boring, sloppy, and 3 of the people in it are very old, and the rest don’t get much of a chance to do anything. There are ways to introduce lucha libre to casual audiences, and this isn’t it. JR gives the Ross Report Blowjob of the Week™ to Hector Garza, which ended up going nowhere. (2012 Scott sez: And then in 2004, Garza got popped for steroid possession, which means that his US career is going nowhere from now on.) After an eternity, Aguayo pins Heavy Metal with a double stomp at 10:56. I like some lucha, but this was brutal. ½* Royal Rumble: 90 second intervals this year, which is silly because with some judicious booking changes (*cough* LUCHA MATCH *cough*) they could have dumped 20 minutes and done full 2-minute intervals. Anyway, Crush gets #1, Ahmed Johnson gets #2. Ahmed takes some more of his aggression out on Crush. Fake Razor is #3 and gets tossed right away, to the delight of the crowd. Took the WWF a while to take the hint with that little experiment. Faarooq comes out to interfere, so Ahmed hops over the top and chases, thus eliminating himself. Phineas “Fake Mankind, Mideon” Godwinn is #4 and that epic Crush v. PIG battle erupts. Steve Austin is #5, getting a pretty good pop. (2012 Scott sez: Steve Austin had quite the run in this Rumble, no?) PIG tosses Crush, then turns around and walks into a stunner, see ya. Bart Gunn is #6, and Austin might as well be Butterbean because Bart is gone 30 seconds later here, too. (2012 Scott sez: Man, I got a lot of mileage out of that Butterbean knockout.) Jake Roberts is #7, and he actually dominates, but Austin reverses the DDT into a backdrop and his night is over. Bulldog is #8 and goes right after Austin. Pierroth from AAA is #9. He almost immediately grabs a headlock. The Sultan (Rikishi Phatu) is #10. Mil Mascaras (villain of Foley’s book) (2012 Scott sez: And inductee into the Hall of Fame this year, apparently!) is #11. HHH is #12 as I wait for something to happen. Bulldog obliges by tossing Sultan. Owen Hart is #13. He goes after Austin, and is assisted by Bulldog. But when Bulldog & Austin fight on the ropes, Owen pushes Bulldog out (they were tag champs at the time). Goldust is #14. Cybernetico is #15 and he actually makes an impact. Marc Mero is #16 as Cybernetico and Pierroth go adios. Mascaras follows them down with a tope, but that eliminates him, too. Goldust gets revenge for earlier in the night by dumping HHH. Goldust & Mero pair off, as do Owen & Austin. Latin Lover is #17, no one cares, film at 11. Owen escapes elimination and gets Goldust out. Faarooq is #18 and rids us of Latin Lover. Ahmed charges the ring with a 2×4 and eliminates Faarooq. Owen and Mero fight on the ropes, so Austin pushes both out, thus clearing the ring. (2012 Scott sez: God bless Steve Austin for clearing out deadwood like this.) Savio Vega is #19 and he hits the floor with a KWANG! about 10 seconds later. Gimme more, Austin says. “Double J” Jesse Jammes is #20, second verse same as the first. Gimme more, Austin says. Bret Hart is #21, and the bug-eyed double-take Austin does is great. (2012 Scott sez: Not a great Rumble, but god damn Austin used to be the SHIT. And you know why? Because he wasn’t some chickenshit heel who ran from a fight. Here was a guy who you knew was getting PUSHED. You could get behind him as a fan because you knew that there was no way they were going to bail on someone who would be booked to toss out multiple guys in the Rumble and beg for a fight at #20 after entering at #5. Some got the rocket push, but Austin had fucking NASA strapped to his ass.) Super-hot slugfest follows, and Bret gets the Sharpshooter (in a battle royale?). Jerry Lawler is #22 and he leaves a thought unfinished, gets clotheslined right back out again, then finishes the thought back at ringside. Cute spot. Bret continues the assault on Austin. HELLFIRE AND TOOTHPASTE! It’s Big Daddy Dentist, Kane UniYankem DDS at #23! In this case, he’s playing Fake Diesel. Terry Funk is #24, playing Token Old-Timer for this year’s show. Funk takes Austin, Hart takes Diesel. Rocky Maivia is #25. He squares off with Diesel and Austin, a match that would draw huge today. (2012 Scott sez: 12 years after this was written, Rock and Austin have both gotten out of the business as rich men, while Kane keeps plodding along year after year. I know he does fine for himself, but it’s not like Jacobs was THAT young when he started and he’s in his mid-40s now.) Mankind is #26. He goes right after Funk and they proceed to torment each other for the rest of the match as a wink to smart fans. Flash Funk is #27. Vader is #28. Mick takes a break to rock in the corner. HOG is #29, Undertaker is #30 to finish the field. Vader and Taker collide, so Taker chokeslams everyone. Vader catches Flash and dumps him over the top. UT casually throat-slams HOG out over the top. Same for Austin, but he hangs onto the apron. Mankind mandible-claws Rocky to the floor. The crowd cheers. Mick & Terry kill each other, and Mick suplexes him to the floor. He stops to think about it, so UT calmly sends him down to the floor, too. Mick and Terry fight on the floor, so all the refs flock to break it up. At the same time, Bret tosses Austin cleanly, but no one sees it. So he sneaks back in, dumps Vader & UT (who were fighting on the ropes), followed by Diesel and then Bret himself to win the Royal Rumble at 50:26. Bret whines to the announce table afterwards. Bleh Rumble. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Once again, note that Bret is portrayed as a whiny douche.) WWF title match: Sid v. Shawn Michaels. Note to WCW: Last time someone put a World title on Sid, it nearly killed the entire promotion. I’m just saying, in case there was any doubt who should get it, that’s all. (2012 Scott sez: Not that I’m blaming the death of WCW on them putting the World title on Sid in 2000, but I’m not NOT, either. Of course, we found out later that Benoit didn’t particularly want the title anyway, so maybe it would have been best just to put it on Sid and be done with it. Evil Scott almost put in a line like “Of course, when someone put a World title on Benoit, he killed…” before the little angel guy on my shoulder told me to delete it.) Shawn had actually been turning heel leading up to this show, but in the weirdest thing anyone had seen in a while, the face pop he got here was so enormous that the entire heel turn was scrapped and he was turned full babyface again. (2012 Scott sez: So all WWE needs now for Cena is a giant stadium full of people who will cheer him. No problem!) And now, suddenly, the crowd comes to life. Shoving match to start, which doesn’t go well for Shawn. Shawn uses his speed to send Sid to the floor. They brawl and Michaels escapes a press slam with a poke to the eye. Back in and Sid powerslams him for two. Chinlock follows. Shawn escapes and gets tossed to the floor. Sid rams him back-first to the post. It gets two. Surfboard and extended bearhug work the back of Shawn. Legdrop gets two. Shawn comes back with a slam and flying forearm. Flying elbow, and Shawn warms up the band. Sid blocks the superkick and dumps Shawn to the floor, then powerbombs him there. Back in, ref bumped. Chokeslam, no ref. A second ref runs in to count two, so Sid decks him. Shawn grabs the camera from ringside and nails Sid (in retaliation for Survivor Series) and that gets two. Sid’s up, so Shawn warms up the band again and hits Sweet Chin Music for the pin and his second WWF title at 13:52. Sid carried the match, oddly enough. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Shawn was sick as a dog for this show, although given his intake at that point god knows what that meant in reality. Too many “cold pills”, perhaps.) The Bottom Line: The WWF was drawing ratings somewhere in between “jack” and “shit” at this point and no one had any clue how to fix things, and it shows here. The only real positive sign for the future out of this show was Austin’s emerging popularity, and the rest was “Been there, done that, scored a 2.0 rating”. Total wasted opportunity here. Strong recommendation to avoid.
The SmarK Royal Rumble Countdown: 1997
12th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Netcop Retro Rant for Royal Rumble 1997 I will refrain from commentating overly on the Vince Russo thing until I can make a proper column on the subject. Suffice it to say, I TOLD YOU SO, and everyone who flamed me for my “That’s [Sports] Entertainment” column back in October where I said that this exact situation would come about can start sending apologetic e-mail to me any day now. (2012 Scott sez: So that would place this rant in early 2000, when Russo got canned. And again, hard to believe that I could have any kind of proper perspective on a show only 3 years old at that point.) Live from San Antonio, TX Your hosts are Vince, Jerry & Good ol’ JRMinis fight in the Free 4 All match, but I’m not into it. Anyway, Mascarita Sagrata Jr. (who would later become Max Mini) and partner La Parkita (mini version of La Parka) defeat Mini Vader and Mini Mankind with a crucifix pin at 4:28. Opening match, Intercontinental title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. Goldust. I think we’ve covered the numerous differences between pre-DX Hunter and the current one to the point where it’s pointless to do so anymore, so I won’t. HHH brings Mr. Hughes with him as his new bodyguard, a role that would be usurped by Chyna at the very next PPV, and as a result would give him actual heat for the first time in his life. (2012 Scott sez: I can vaguely remember Hughes as bodyguard for Chris Jericho, but I totally blank on him getting paired with HHH for some reason.) Both guys bump around a bit at the start. Goldust drops the ring steps on HHH’s back. HHH sort of controls back in the ring, crowd is gone. Neither guy is over enough to make a difference to the heat in the match. Out of the ring again and they bump around some more. It’s just desperate attempts to get the crowd going, and it’s not working. Goldust tries dropping the stairs on HHH’s knee this time. He slowly works the leg back in the ring, boring the crowd even more. It should be noted that there’s about 60,000 people in the building, give or take (2012 Scott sez: 48000 or so, in fact. I think 60000 was the worked number.), and a lot of them are papered (2012 Scott sez: About 20000 of them I believe it was. It was pretty crazy. Like how the fuck do you even give out that many tickets? That’s like an entire arena show given away for free!), which means that something pretty drastic needs to hook them. HHH bails, but gets clipped and dropped on the stairs knee-first. Enough with the damn stairs already! HHH gains control again as I fight to stay awake. Goldust comes back, but misses an elbow from the top and HHH gets the title belt from Hughes. Goldust steals it away and nails him, but Hughes pulls Hunter out at two. More wackiness leads to Hunter nailing Goldust from behind and hitting the Pedigree to retain at 16:45. ¼* JR assures us that this issue is far from settled. Lucky us. Faarooq v. Ahmed Johnson. This is your basic “You injured me so I’m gonna kick your ass” match, although by the time Ahmed returned from his injury the issue was pretty much forgotten. This one really should have happened at Summerslam 96 as was intended. Faarooq gets the crap beat out of him and they brawl out of the ring. Faarooq sacrifices an unnamed (but proud future European champion) Nation member to Ahmed (2012 Scott sez: That was D-Lo Brown in case you weren’t around when anyone cared about him.) and then jumps him to take control. Chinlock follows. Faarooq goes aerial but gets powerslammed. Ahmed charges and Faarooq hits a spinebuster, then Ahmed comes back with his own and everyone runs in for the lame DQ at 8:45. ½* The feud would drag on for most of the rest of 1997, before Ahmed disappeared for good. Notable spot of the night: Ahmed powerbombs another anonymous Nationeer through the French announce table. (2012 Scott sez: Man, that feud just had no legs. Maybe they should have just teamed them up as Doom 2.0 or something.) Vader v. Undertaker. If there was an issue here, damned if I can remember it. Slugfest to start, UT no-sells all of it. Vader was working loose as all hell, which was part of his problem in the WWF. Jericho is discovering the same thing, apparently. (2012 Scott sez: What a bunch of bullshit that was. Can you believe people used to slag CHRIS JERICHO for not being able to work? In 2000?!) Vader puts him down a few times, but he keeps sitting up. UT hits a fameasser out of nowhere and a slam. Legdrop gets two. Vader counters the ropewalk with leverage, and then hits a lowblow (with great facials from UT), and we head to the resting portion of the match. Second rope splash is converted to a powerslam by Taker, but Vader fights up and powerbombs him for two. UT comes back with the ropewalk and a chokeslam. Paul Bearer waddles out to ringside as Vader’s new manager and gets beaten up. He does manage to waffle UT with the urn, however, and Vader splashes and pins him at 13:17 as a result. Bleh. *1/2 for some nice power stuff. I would be remiss in not mentioning British Bulldog’s cult-favorite Rumble soundbite here, as he emerges from his car and says he’ll win the Rumble because “I’M BIZAAAAAAAAAARRE!” British people, help me out here, is this like one of those charming overseas sayings that doesn’t have any sort of meaning anywhere else in the civilized world or just Davey Boy adlibbing after one too many milk injections? (2012 Scott sez: Joke explanation: Dynamite Kid was on the Wrestling Observer radio show many years back and told a story about meeting young Davey Boy when they were both teenagers, but DK was the more experienced wrestler at that point. Davey kept bugging him for steroids, so finally Kid relented and taught him how to inject it into his ass cheeks. So then on the road the next day, Kid kept going “Mooo!” every time they drove past a farm. Finally Davey snapped at him and asked why he was mooing the whole way, and Kid told him that he had been injecting himself with milk the whole time.) Jerry Estrada, Heavy Metal & Fuerza Guerrera v. Perro Aguayo, Canek & Hector Garza. This was during the WWF’s “We’re so desperate for fresh talent we’ll even work with AAA” period, which ended up being a slight problem because Eric Bischoff already had rights to almost every luchador in Mexico, even if he never planned on using 90% of them. My notes on this entire match read “Crowd is dead silent as they flip and flop around like RVD and make contact maybe 4 times in the whole match”, so suffice it to say it’s boring, sloppy, and 3 of the people in it are very old, and the rest don’t get much of a chance to do anything. There are ways to introduce lucha libre to casual audiences, and this isn’t it. JR gives the Ross Report Blowjob of the Week™ to Hector Garza, which ended up going nowhere. (2012 Scott sez: And then in 2004, Garza got popped for steroid possession, which means that his US career is going nowhere from now on.) After an eternity, Aguayo pins Heavy Metal with a double stomp at 10:56. I like some lucha, but this was brutal. ½* Royal Rumble: 90 second intervals this year, which is silly because with some judicious booking changes (*cough* LUCHA MATCH *cough*) they could have dumped 20 minutes and done full 2-minute intervals. Anyway, Crush gets #1, Ahmed Johnson gets #2. Ahmed takes some more of his aggression out on Crush. Fake Razor is #3 and gets tossed right away, to the delight of the crowd. Took the WWF a while to take the hint with that little experiment. Faarooq comes out to interfere, so Ahmed hops over the top and chases, thus eliminating himself. Phineas “Fake Mankind, Mideon” Godwinn is #4 and that epic Crush v. PIG battle erupts. Steve Austin is #5, getting a pretty good pop. (2012 Scott sez: Steve Austin had quite the run in this Rumble, no?) PIG tosses Crush, then turns around and walks into a stunner, see ya. Bart Gunn is #6, and Austin might as well be Butterbean because Bart is gone 30 seconds later here, too. (2012 Scott sez: Man, I got a lot of mileage out of that Butterbean knockout.) Jake Roberts is #7, and he actually dominates, but Austin reverses the DDT into a backdrop and his night is over. Bulldog is #8 and goes right after Austin. Pierroth from AAA is #9. He almost immediately grabs a headlock. The Sultan (Rikishi Phatu) is #10. Mil Mascaras (villain of Foley’s book) (2012 Scott sez: And inductee into the Hall of Fame this year, apparently!) is #11. HHH is #12 as I wait for something to happen. Bulldog obliges by tossing Sultan. Owen Hart is #13. He goes after Austin, and is assisted by Bulldog. But when Bulldog & Austin fight on the ropes, Owen pushes Bulldog out (they were tag champs at the time). Goldust is #14. Cybernetico is #15 and he actually makes an impact. Marc Mero is #16 as Cybernetico and Pierroth go adios. Mascaras follows them down with a tope, but that eliminates him, too. Goldust gets revenge for earlier in the night by dumping HHH. Goldust & Mero pair off, as do Owen & Austin. Latin Lover is #17, no one cares, film at 11. Owen escapes elimination and gets Goldust out. Faarooq is #18 and rids us of Latin Lover. Ahmed charges the ring with a 2×4 and eliminates Faarooq. Owen and Mero fight on the ropes, so Austin pushes both out, thus clearing the ring. (2012 Scott sez: God bless Steve Austin for clearing out deadwood like this.) Savio Vega is #19 and he hits the floor with a KWANG! about 10 seconds later. Gimme more, Austin says. “Double J” Jesse Jammes is #20, second verse same as the first. Gimme more, Austin says. Bret Hart is #21, and the bug-eyed double-take Austin does is great. (2012 Scott sez: Not a great Rumble, but god damn Austin used to be the SHIT. And you know why? Because he wasn’t some chickenshit heel who ran from a fight. Here was a guy who you knew was getting PUSHED. You could get behind him as a fan because you knew that there was no way they were going to bail on someone who would be booked to toss out multiple guys in the Rumble and beg for a fight at #20 after entering at #5. Some got the rocket push, but Austin had fucking NASA strapped to his ass.) Super-hot slugfest follows, and Bret gets the Sharpshooter (in a battle royale?). Jerry Lawler is #22 and he leaves a thought unfinished, gets clotheslined right back out again, then finishes the thought back at ringside. Cute spot. Bret continues the assault on Austin. HELLFIRE AND TOOTHPASTE! It’s Big Daddy Dentist, Kane UniYankem DDS at #23! In this case, he’s playing Fake Diesel. Terry Funk is #24, playing Token Old-Timer for this year’s show. Funk takes Austin, Hart takes Diesel. Rocky Maivia is #25. He squares off with Diesel and Austin, a match that would draw huge today. (2012 Scott sez: 12 years after this was written, Rock and Austin have both gotten out of the business as rich men, while Kane keeps plodding along year after year. I know he does fine for himself, but it’s not like Jacobs was THAT young when he started and he’s in his mid-40s now.) Mankind is #26. He goes right after Funk and they proceed to torment each other for the rest of the match as a wink to smart fans. Flash Funk is #27. Vader is #28. Mick takes a break to rock in the corner. HOG is #29, Undertaker is #30 to finish the field. Vader and Taker collide, so Taker chokeslams everyone. Vader catches Flash and dumps him over the top. UT casually throat-slams HOG out over the top. Same for Austin, but he hangs onto the apron. Mankind mandible-claws Rocky to the floor. The crowd cheers. Mick & Terry kill each other, and Mick suplexes him to the floor. He stops to think about it, so UT calmly sends him down to the floor, too. Mick and Terry fight on the floor, so all the refs flock to break it up. At the same time, Bret tosses Austin cleanly, but no one sees it. So he sneaks back in, dumps Vader & UT (who were fighting on the ropes), followed by Diesel and then Bret himself to win the Royal Rumble at 50:26. Bret whines to the announce table afterwards. Bleh Rumble. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Once again, note that Bret is portrayed as a whiny douche.) WWF title match: Sid v. Shawn Michaels. Note to WCW: Last time someone put a World title on Sid, it nearly killed the entire promotion. I’m just saying, in case there was any doubt who should get it, that’s all. (2012 Scott sez: Not that I’m blaming the death of WCW on them putting the World title on Sid in 2000, but I’m not NOT, either. Of course, we found out later that Benoit didn’t particularly want the title anyway, so maybe it would have been best just to put it on Sid and be done with it. Evil Scott almost put in a line like “Of course, when someone put a World title on Benoit, he killed…” before the little angel guy on my shoulder told me to delete it.) Shawn had actually been turning heel leading up to this show, but in the weirdest thing anyone had seen in a while, the face pop he got here was so enormous that the entire heel turn was scrapped and he was turned full babyface again. (2012 Scott sez: So all WWE needs now for Cena is a giant stadium full of people who will cheer him. No problem!) And now, suddenly, the crowd comes to life. Shoving match to start, which doesn’t go well for Shawn. Shawn uses his speed to send Sid to the floor. They brawl and Michaels escapes a press slam with a poke to the eye. Back in and Sid powerslams him for two. Chinlock follows. Shawn escapes and gets tossed to the floor. Sid rams him back-first to the post. It gets two. Surfboard and extended bearhug work the back of Shawn. Legdrop gets two. Shawn comes back with a slam and flying forearm. Flying elbow, and Shawn warms up the band. Sid blocks the superkick and dumps Shawn to the floor, then powerbombs him there. Back in, ref bumped. Chokeslam, no ref. A second ref runs in to count two, so Sid decks him. Shawn grabs the camera from ringside and nails Sid (in retaliation for Survivor Series) and that gets two. Sid’s up, so Shawn warms up the band again and hits Sweet Chin Music for the pin and his second WWF title at 13:52. Sid carried the match, oddly enough. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Shawn was sick as a dog for this show, although given his intake at that point god knows what that meant in reality. Too many “cold pills”, perhaps.) The Bottom Line: The WWF was drawing ratings somewhere in between “jack” and “shit” at this point and no one had any clue how to fix things, and it shows here. The only real positive sign for the future out of this show was Austin’s emerging popularity, and the rest was “Been there, done that, scored a 2.0 rating”. Total wasted opportunity here. Strong recommendation to avoid.
The SmarK Royal Rumble Countdown: 1997
12th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Netcop Retro Rant for Royal Rumble 1997 I will refrain from commentating overly on the Vince Russo thing until I can make a proper column on the subject. Suffice it to say, I TOLD YOU SO, and everyone who flamed me for my “That’s [Sports] Entertainment” column back in October where I said that this exact situation would come about can start sending apologetic e-mail to me any day now. (2012 Scott sez: So that would place this rant in early 2000, when Russo got canned. And again, hard to believe that I could have any kind of proper perspective on a show only 3 years old at that point.) Live from San Antonio, TX Your hosts are Vince, Jerry & Good ol’ JRMinis fight in the Free 4 All match, but I’m not into it. Anyway, Mascarita Sagrata Jr. (who would later become Max Mini) and partner La Parkita (mini version of La Parka) defeat Mini Vader and Mini Mankind with a crucifix pin at 4:28. Opening match, Intercontinental title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. Goldust. I think we’ve covered the numerous differences between pre-DX Hunter and the current one to the point where it’s pointless to do so anymore, so I won’t. HHH brings Mr. Hughes with him as his new bodyguard, a role that would be usurped by Chyna at the very next PPV, and as a result would give him actual heat for the first time in his life. (2012 Scott sez: I can vaguely remember Hughes as bodyguard for Chris Jericho, but I totally blank on him getting paired with HHH for some reason.) Both guys bump around a bit at the start. Goldust drops the ring steps on HHH’s back. HHH sort of controls back in the ring, crowd is gone. Neither guy is over enough to make a difference to the heat in the match. Out of the ring again and they bump around some more. It’s just desperate attempts to get the crowd going, and it’s not working. Goldust tries dropping the stairs on HHH’s knee this time. He slowly works the leg back in the ring, boring the crowd even more. It should be noted that there’s about 60,000 people in the building, give or take (2012 Scott sez: 48000 or so, in fact. I think 60000 was the worked number.), and a lot of them are papered (2012 Scott sez: About 20000 of them I believe it was. It was pretty crazy. Like how the fuck do you even give out that many tickets? That’s like an entire arena show given away for free!), which means that something pretty drastic needs to hook them. HHH bails, but gets clipped and dropped on the stairs knee-first. Enough with the damn stairs already! HHH gains control again as I fight to stay awake. Goldust comes back, but misses an elbow from the top and HHH gets the title belt from Hughes. Goldust steals it away and nails him, but Hughes pulls Hunter out at two. More wackiness leads to Hunter nailing Goldust from behind and hitting the Pedigree to retain at 16:45. ¼* JR assures us that this issue is far from settled. Lucky us. Faarooq v. Ahmed Johnson. This is your basic “You injured me so I’m gonna kick your ass” match, although by the time Ahmed returned from his injury the issue was pretty much forgotten. This one really should have happened at Summerslam 96 as was intended. Faarooq gets the crap beat out of him and they brawl out of the ring. Faarooq sacrifices an unnamed (but proud future European champion) Nation member to Ahmed (2012 Scott sez: That was D-Lo Brown in case you weren’t around when anyone cared about him.) and then jumps him to take control. Chinlock follows. Faarooq goes aerial but gets powerslammed. Ahmed charges and Faarooq hits a spinebuster, then Ahmed comes back with his own and everyone runs in for the lame DQ at 8:45. ½* The feud would drag on for most of the rest of 1997, before Ahmed disappeared for good. Notable spot of the night: Ahmed powerbombs another anonymous Nationeer through the French announce table. (2012 Scott sez: Man, that feud just had no legs. Maybe they should have just teamed them up as Doom 2.0 or something.) Vader v. Undertaker. If there was an issue here, damned if I can remember it. Slugfest to start, UT no-sells all of it. Vader was working loose as all hell, which was part of his problem in the WWF. Jericho is discovering the same thing, apparently. (2012 Scott sez: What a bunch of bullshit that was. Can you believe people used to slag CHRIS JERICHO for not being able to work? In 2000?!) Vader puts him down a few times, but he keeps sitting up. UT hits a fameasser out of nowhere and a slam. Legdrop gets two. Vader counters the ropewalk with leverage, and then hits a lowblow (with great facials from UT), and we head to the resting portion of the match. Second rope splash is converted to a powerslam by Taker, but Vader fights up and powerbombs him for two. UT comes back with the ropewalk and a chokeslam. Paul Bearer waddles out to ringside as Vader’s new manager and gets beaten up. He does manage to waffle UT with the urn, however, and Vader splashes and pins him at 13:17 as a result. Bleh. *1/2 for some nice power stuff. I would be remiss in not mentioning British Bulldog’s cult-favorite Rumble soundbite here, as he emerges from his car and says he’ll win the Rumble because “I’M BIZAAAAAAAAAARRE!” British people, help me out here, is this like one of those charming overseas sayings that doesn’t have any sort of meaning anywhere else in the civilized world or just Davey Boy adlibbing after one too many milk injections? (2012 Scott sez: Joke explanation: Dynamite Kid was on the Wrestling Observer radio show many years back and told a story about meeting young Davey Boy when they were both teenagers, but DK was the more experienced wrestler at that point. Davey kept bugging him for steroids, so finally Kid relented and taught him how to inject it into his ass cheeks. So then on the road the next day, Kid kept going “Mooo!” every time they drove past a farm. Finally Davey snapped at him and asked why he was mooing the whole way, and Kid told him that he had been injecting himself with milk the whole time.) Jerry Estrada, Heavy Metal & Fuerza Guerrera v. Perro Aguayo, Canek & Hector Garza. This was during the WWF’s “We’re so desperate for fresh talent we’ll even work with AAA” period, which ended up being a slight problem because Eric Bischoff already had rights to almost every luchador in Mexico, even if he never planned on using 90% of them. My notes on this entire match read “Crowd is dead silent as they flip and flop around like RVD and make contact maybe 4 times in the whole match”, so suffice it to say it’s boring, sloppy, and 3 of the people in it are very old, and the rest don’t get much of a chance to do anything. There are ways to introduce lucha libre to casual audiences, and this isn’t it. JR gives the Ross Report Blowjob of the Week™ to Hector Garza, which ended up going nowhere. (2012 Scott sez: And then in 2004, Garza got popped for steroid possession, which means that his US career is going nowhere from now on.) After an eternity, Aguayo pins Heavy Metal with a double stomp at 10:56. I like some lucha, but this was brutal. ½* Royal Rumble: 90 second intervals this year, which is silly because with some judicious booking changes (*cough* LUCHA MATCH *cough*) they could have dumped 20 minutes and done full 2-minute intervals. Anyway, Crush gets #1, Ahmed Johnson gets #2. Ahmed takes some more of his aggression out on Crush. Fake Razor is #3 and gets tossed right away, to the delight of the crowd. Took the WWF a while to take the hint with that little experiment. Faarooq comes out to interfere, so Ahmed hops over the top and chases, thus eliminating himself. Phineas “Fake Mankind, Mideon” Godwinn is #4 and that epic Crush v. PIG battle erupts. Steve Austin is #5, getting a pretty good pop. (2012 Scott sez: Steve Austin had quite the run in this Rumble, no?) PIG tosses Crush, then turns around and walks into a stunner, see ya. Bart Gunn is #6, and Austin might as well be Butterbean because Bart is gone 30 seconds later here, too. (2012 Scott sez: Man, I got a lot of mileage out of that Butterbean knockout.) Jake Roberts is #7, and he actually dominates, but Austin reverses the DDT into a backdrop and his night is over. Bulldog is #8 and goes right after Austin. Pierroth from AAA is #9. He almost immediately grabs a headlock. The Sultan (Rikishi Phatu) is #10. Mil Mascaras (villain of Foley’s book) (2012 Scott sez: And inductee into the Hall of Fame this year, apparently!) is #11. HHH is #12 as I wait for something to happen. Bulldog obliges by tossing Sultan. Owen Hart is #13. He goes after Austin, and is assisted by Bulldog. But when Bulldog & Austin fight on the ropes, Owen pushes Bulldog out (they were tag champs at the time). Goldust is #14. Cybernetico is #15 and he actually makes an impact. Marc Mero is #16 as Cybernetico and Pierroth go adios. Mascaras follows them down with a tope, but that eliminates him, too. Goldust gets revenge for earlier in the night by dumping HHH. Goldust & Mero pair off, as do Owen & Austin. Latin Lover is #17, no one cares, film at 11. Owen escapes elimination and gets Goldust out. Faarooq is #18 and rids us of Latin Lover. Ahmed charges the ring with a 2×4 and eliminates Faarooq. Owen and Mero fight on the ropes, so Austin pushes both out, thus clearing the ring. (2012 Scott sez: God bless Steve Austin for clearing out deadwood like this.) Savio Vega is #19 and he hits the floor with a KWANG! about 10 seconds later. Gimme more, Austin says. “Double J” Jesse Jammes is #20, second verse same as the first. Gimme more, Austin says. Bret Hart is #21, and the bug-eyed double-take Austin does is great. (2012 Scott sez: Not a great Rumble, but god damn Austin used to be the SHIT. And you know why? Because he wasn’t some chickenshit heel who ran from a fight. Here was a guy who you knew was getting PUSHED. You could get behind him as a fan because you knew that there was no way they were going to bail on someone who would be booked to toss out multiple guys in the Rumble and beg for a fight at #20 after entering at #5. Some got the rocket push, but Austin had fucking NASA strapped to his ass.) Super-hot slugfest follows, and Bret gets the Sharpshooter (in a battle royale?). Jerry Lawler is #22 and he leaves a thought unfinished, gets clotheslined right back out again, then finishes the thought back at ringside. Cute spot. Bret continues the assault on Austin. HELLFIRE AND TOOTHPASTE! It’s Big Daddy Dentist, Kane UniYankem DDS at #23! In this case, he’s playing Fake Diesel. Terry Funk is #24, playing Token Old-Timer for this year’s show. Funk takes Austin, Hart takes Diesel. Rocky Maivia is #25. He squares off with Diesel and Austin, a match that would draw huge today. (2012 Scott sez: 12 years after this was written, Rock and Austin have both gotten out of the business as rich men, while Kane keeps plodding along year after year. I know he does fine for himself, but it’s not like Jacobs was THAT young when he started and he’s in his mid-40s now.) Mankind is #26. He goes right after Funk and they proceed to torment each other for the rest of the match as a wink to smart fans. Flash Funk is #27. Vader is #28. Mick takes a break to rock in the corner. HOG is #29, Undertaker is #30 to finish the field. Vader and Taker collide, so Taker chokeslams everyone. Vader catches Flash and dumps him over the top. UT casually throat-slams HOG out over the top. Same for Austin, but he hangs onto the apron. Mankind mandible-claws Rocky to the floor. The crowd cheers. Mick & Terry kill each other, and Mick suplexes him to the floor. He stops to think about it, so UT calmly sends him down to the floor, too. Mick and Terry fight on the floor, so all the refs flock to break it up. At the same time, Bret tosses Austin cleanly, but no one sees it. So he sneaks back in, dumps Vader & UT (who were fighting on the ropes), followed by Diesel and then Bret himself to win the Royal Rumble at 50:26. Bret whines to the announce table afterwards. Bleh Rumble. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Once again, note that Bret is portrayed as a whiny douche.) WWF title match: Sid v. Shawn Michaels. Note to WCW: Last time someone put a World title on Sid, it nearly killed the entire promotion. I’m just saying, in case there was any doubt who should get it, that’s all. (2012 Scott sez: Not that I’m blaming the death of WCW on them putting the World title on Sid in 2000, but I’m not NOT, either. Of course, we found out later that Benoit didn’t particularly want the title anyway, so maybe it would have been best just to put it on Sid and be done with it. Evil Scott almost put in a line like “Of course, when someone put a World title on Benoit, he killed…” before the little angel guy on my shoulder told me to delete it.) Shawn had actually been turning heel leading up to this show, but in the weirdest thing anyone had seen in a while, the face pop he got here was so enormous that the entire heel turn was scrapped and he was turned full babyface again. (2012 Scott sez: So all WWE needs now for Cena is a giant stadium full of people who will cheer him. No problem!) And now, suddenly, the crowd comes to life. Shoving match to start, which doesn’t go well for Shawn. Shawn uses his speed to send Sid to the floor. They brawl and Michaels escapes a press slam with a poke to the eye. Back in and Sid powerslams him for two. Chinlock follows. Shawn escapes and gets tossed to the floor. Sid rams him back-first to the post. It gets two. Surfboard and extended bearhug work the back of Shawn. Legdrop gets two. Shawn comes back with a slam and flying forearm. Flying elbow, and Shawn warms up the band. Sid blocks the superkick and dumps Shawn to the floor, then powerbombs him there. Back in, ref bumped. Chokeslam, no ref. A second ref runs in to count two, so Sid decks him. Shawn grabs the camera from ringside and nails Sid (in retaliation for Survivor Series) and that gets two. Sid’s up, so Shawn warms up the band again and hits Sweet Chin Music for the pin and his second WWF title at 13:52. Sid carried the match, oddly enough. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Shawn was sick as a dog for this show, although given his intake at that point god knows what that meant in reality. Too many “cold pills”, perhaps.) The Bottom Line: The WWF was drawing ratings somewhere in between “jack” and “shit” at this point and no one had any clue how to fix things, and it shows here. The only real positive sign for the future out of this show was Austin’s emerging popularity, and the rest was “Been there, done that, scored a 2.0 rating”. Total wasted opportunity here. Strong recommendation to avoid.
The SmarK Royal Rumble Countdown: 1997
12th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Netcop Retro Rant for Royal Rumble 1997 I will refrain from commentating overly on the Vince Russo thing until I can make a proper column on the subject. Suffice it to say, I TOLD YOU SO, and everyone who flamed me for my “That’s [Sports] Entertainment” column back in October where I said that this exact situation would come about can start sending apologetic e-mail to me any day now. (2012 Scott sez: So that would place this rant in early 2000, when Russo got canned. And again, hard to believe that I could have any kind of proper perspective on a show only 3 years old at that point.) Live from San Antonio, TX Your hosts are Vince, Jerry & Good ol’ JRMinis fight in the Free 4 All match, but I’m not into it. Anyway, Mascarita Sagrata Jr. (who would later become Max Mini) and partner La Parkita (mini version of La Parka) defeat Mini Vader and Mini Mankind with a crucifix pin at 4:28. Opening match, Intercontinental title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. Goldust. I think we’ve covered the numerous differences between pre-DX Hunter and the current one to the point where it’s pointless to do so anymore, so I won’t. HHH brings Mr. Hughes with him as his new bodyguard, a role that would be usurped by Chyna at the very next PPV, and as a result would give him actual heat for the first time in his life. (2012 Scott sez: I can vaguely remember Hughes as bodyguard for Chris Jericho, but I totally blank on him getting paired with HHH for some reason.) Both guys bump around a bit at the start. Goldust drops the ring steps on HHH’s back. HHH sort of controls back in the ring, crowd is gone. Neither guy is over enough to make a difference to the heat in the match. Out of the ring again and they bump around some more. It’s just desperate attempts to get the crowd going, and it’s not working. Goldust tries dropping the stairs on HHH’s knee this time. He slowly works the leg back in the ring, boring the crowd even more. It should be noted that there’s about 60,000 people in the building, give or take (2012 Scott sez: 48000 or so, in fact. I think 60000 was the worked number.), and a lot of them are papered (2012 Scott sez: About 20000 of them I believe it was. It was pretty crazy. Like how the fuck do you even give out that many tickets? That’s like an entire arena show given away for free!), which means that something pretty drastic needs to hook them. HHH bails, but gets clipped and dropped on the stairs knee-first. Enough with the damn stairs already! HHH gains control again as I fight to stay awake. Goldust comes back, but misses an elbow from the top and HHH gets the title belt from Hughes. Goldust steals it away and nails him, but Hughes pulls Hunter out at two. More wackiness leads to Hunter nailing Goldust from behind and hitting the Pedigree to retain at 16:45. ¼* JR assures us that this issue is far from settled. Lucky us. Faarooq v. Ahmed Johnson. This is your basic “You injured me so I’m gonna kick your ass” match, although by the time Ahmed returned from his injury the issue was pretty much forgotten. This one really should have happened at Summerslam 96 as was intended. Faarooq gets the crap beat out of him and they brawl out of the ring. Faarooq sacrifices an unnamed (but proud future European champion) Nation member to Ahmed (2012 Scott sez: That was D-Lo Brown in case you weren’t around when anyone cared about him.) and then jumps him to take control. Chinlock follows. Faarooq goes aerial but gets powerslammed. Ahmed charges and Faarooq hits a spinebuster, then Ahmed comes back with his own and everyone runs in for the lame DQ at 8:45. ½* The feud would drag on for most of the rest of 1997, before Ahmed disappeared for good. Notable spot of the night: Ahmed powerbombs another anonymous Nationeer through the French announce table. (2012 Scott sez: Man, that feud just had no legs. Maybe they should have just teamed them up as Doom 2.0 or something.) Vader v. Undertaker. If there was an issue here, damned if I can remember it. Slugfest to start, UT no-sells all of it. Vader was working loose as all hell, which was part of his problem in the WWF. Jericho is discovering the same thing, apparently. (2012 Scott sez: What a bunch of bullshit that was. Can you believe people used to slag CHRIS JERICHO for not being able to work? In 2000?!) Vader puts him down a few times, but he keeps sitting up. UT hits a fameasser out of nowhere and a slam. Legdrop gets two. Vader counters the ropewalk with leverage, and then hits a lowblow (with great facials from UT), and we head to the resting portion of the match. Second rope splash is converted to a powerslam by Taker, but Vader fights up and powerbombs him for two. UT comes back with the ropewalk and a chokeslam. Paul Bearer waddles out to ringside as Vader’s new manager and gets beaten up. He does manage to waffle UT with the urn, however, and Vader splashes and pins him at 13:17 as a result. Bleh. *1/2 for some nice power stuff. I would be remiss in not mentioning British Bulldog’s cult-favorite Rumble soundbite here, as he emerges from his car and says he’ll win the Rumble because “I’M BIZAAAAAAAAAARRE!” British people, help me out here, is this like one of those charming overseas sayings that doesn’t have any sort of meaning anywhere else in the civilized world or just Davey Boy adlibbing after one too many milk injections? (2012 Scott sez: Joke explanation: Dynamite Kid was on the Wrestling Observer radio show many years back and told a story about meeting young Davey Boy when they were both teenagers, but DK was the more experienced wrestler at that point. Davey kept bugging him for steroids, so finally Kid relented and taught him how to inject it into his ass cheeks. So then on the road the next day, Kid kept going “Mooo!” every time they drove past a farm. Finally Davey snapped at him and asked why he was mooing the whole way, and Kid told him that he had been injecting himself with milk the whole time.) Jerry Estrada, Heavy Metal & Fuerza Guerrera v. Perro Aguayo, Canek & Hector Garza. This was during the WWF’s “We’re so desperate for fresh talent we’ll even work with AAA” period, which ended up being a slight problem because Eric Bischoff already had rights to almost every luchador in Mexico, even if he never planned on using 90% of them. My notes on this entire match read “Crowd is dead silent as they flip and flop around like RVD and make contact maybe 4 times in the whole match”, so suffice it to say it’s boring, sloppy, and 3 of the people in it are very old, and the rest don’t get much of a chance to do anything. There are ways to introduce lucha libre to casual audiences, and this isn’t it. JR gives the Ross Report Blowjob of the Week™ to Hector Garza, which ended up going nowhere. (2012 Scott sez: And then in 2004, Garza got popped for steroid possession, which means that his US career is going nowhere from now on.) After an eternity, Aguayo pins Heavy Metal with a double stomp at 10:56. I like some lucha, but this was brutal. ½* Royal Rumble: 90 second intervals this year, which is silly because with some judicious booking changes (*cough* LUCHA MATCH *cough*) they could have dumped 20 minutes and done full 2-minute intervals. Anyway, Crush gets #1, Ahmed Johnson gets #2. Ahmed takes some more of his aggression out on Crush. Fake Razor is #3 and gets tossed right away, to the delight of the crowd. Took the WWF a while to take the hint with that little experiment. Faarooq comes out to interfere, so Ahmed hops over the top and chases, thus eliminating himself. Phineas “Fake Mankind, Mideon” Godwinn is #4 and that epic Crush v. PIG battle erupts. Steve Austin is #5, getting a pretty good pop. (2012 Scott sez: Steve Austin had quite the run in this Rumble, no?) PIG tosses Crush, then turns around and walks into a stunner, see ya. Bart Gunn is #6, and Austin might as well be Butterbean because Bart is gone 30 seconds later here, too. (2012 Scott sez: Man, I got a lot of mileage out of that Butterbean knockout.) Jake Roberts is #7, and he actually dominates, but Austin reverses the DDT into a backdrop and his night is over. Bulldog is #8 and goes right after Austin. Pierroth from AAA is #9. He almost immediately grabs a headlock. The Sultan (Rikishi Phatu) is #10. Mil Mascaras (villain of Foley’s book) (2012 Scott sez: And inductee into the Hall of Fame this year, apparently!) is #11. HHH is #12 as I wait for something to happen. Bulldog obliges by tossing Sultan. Owen Hart is #13. He goes after Austin, and is assisted by Bulldog. But when Bulldog & Austin fight on the ropes, Owen pushes Bulldog out (they were tag champs at the time). Goldust is #14. Cybernetico is #15 and he actually makes an impact. Marc Mero is #16 as Cybernetico and Pierroth go adios. Mascaras follows them down with a tope, but that eliminates him, too. Goldust gets revenge for earlier in the night by dumping HHH. Goldust & Mero pair off, as do Owen & Austin. Latin Lover is #17, no one cares, film at 11. Owen escapes elimination and gets Goldust out. Faarooq is #18 and rids us of Latin Lover. Ahmed charges the ring with a 2×4 and eliminates Faarooq. Owen and Mero fight on the ropes, so Austin pushes both out, thus clearing the ring. (2012 Scott sez: God bless Steve Austin for clearing out deadwood like this.) Savio Vega is #19 and he hits the floor with a KWANG! about 10 seconds later. Gimme more, Austin says. “Double J” Jesse Jammes is #20, second verse same as the first. Gimme more, Austin says. Bret Hart is #21, and the bug-eyed double-take Austin does is great. (2012 Scott sez: Not a great Rumble, but god damn Austin used to be the SHIT. And you know why? Because he wasn’t some chickenshit heel who ran from a fight. Here was a guy who you knew was getting PUSHED. You could get behind him as a fan because you knew that there was no way they were going to bail on someone who would be booked to toss out multiple guys in the Rumble and beg for a fight at #20 after entering at #5. Some got the rocket push, but Austin had fucking NASA strapped to his ass.) Super-hot slugfest follows, and Bret gets the Sharpshooter (in a battle royale?). Jerry Lawler is #22 and he leaves a thought unfinished, gets clotheslined right back out again, then finishes the thought back at ringside. Cute spot. Bret continues the assault on Austin. HELLFIRE AND TOOTHPASTE! It’s Big Daddy Dentist, Kane UniYankem DDS at #23! In this case, he’s playing Fake Diesel. Terry Funk is #24, playing Token Old-Timer for this year’s show. Funk takes Austin, Hart takes Diesel. Rocky Maivia is #25. He squares off with Diesel and Austin, a match that would draw huge today. (2012 Scott sez: 12 years after this was written, Rock and Austin have both gotten out of the business as rich men, while Kane keeps plodding along year after year. I know he does fine for himself, but it’s not like Jacobs was THAT young when he started and he’s in his mid-40s now.) Mankind is #26. He goes right after Funk and they proceed to torment each other for the rest of the match as a wink to smart fans. Flash Funk is #27. Vader is #28. Mick takes a break to rock in the corner. HOG is #29, Undertaker is #30 to finish the field. Vader and Taker collide, so Taker chokeslams everyone. Vader catches Flash and dumps him over the top. UT casually throat-slams HOG out over the top. Same for Austin, but he hangs onto the apron. Mankind mandible-claws Rocky to the floor. The crowd cheers. Mick & Terry kill each other, and Mick suplexes him to the floor. He stops to think about it, so UT calmly sends him down to the floor, too. Mick and Terry fight on the floor, so all the refs flock to break it up. At the same time, Bret tosses Austin cleanly, but no one sees it. So he sneaks back in, dumps Vader & UT (who were fighting on the ropes), followed by Diesel and then Bret himself to win the Royal Rumble at 50:26. Bret whines to the announce table afterwards. Bleh Rumble. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Once again, note that Bret is portrayed as a whiny douche.) WWF title match: Sid v. Shawn Michaels. Note to WCW: Last time someone put a World title on Sid, it nearly killed the entire promotion. I’m just saying, in case there was any doubt who should get it, that’s all. (2012 Scott sez: Not that I’m blaming the death of WCW on them putting the World title on Sid in 2000, but I’m not NOT, either. Of course, we found out later that Benoit didn’t particularly want the title anyway, so maybe it would have been best just to put it on Sid and be done with it. Evil Scott almost put in a line like “Of course, when someone put a World title on Benoit, he killed…” before the little angel guy on my shoulder told me to delete it.) Shawn had actually been turning heel leading up to this show, but in the weirdest thing anyone had seen in a while, the face pop he got here was so enormous that the entire heel turn was scrapped and he was turned full babyface again. (2012 Scott sez: So all WWE needs now for Cena is a giant stadium full of people who will cheer him. No problem!) And now, suddenly, the crowd comes to life. Shoving match to start, which doesn’t go well for Shawn. Shawn uses his speed to send Sid to the floor. They brawl and Michaels escapes a press slam with a poke to the eye. Back in and Sid powerslams him for two. Chinlock follows. Shawn escapes and gets tossed to the floor. Sid rams him back-first to the post. It gets two. Surfboard and extended bearhug work the back of Shawn. Legdrop gets two. Shawn comes back with a slam and flying forearm. Flying elbow, and Shawn warms up the band. Sid blocks the superkick and dumps Shawn to the floor, then powerbombs him there. Back in, ref bumped. Chokeslam, no ref. A second ref runs in to count two, so Sid decks him. Shawn grabs the camera from ringside and nails Sid (in retaliation for Survivor Series) and that gets two. Sid’s up, so Shawn warms up the band again and hits Sweet Chin Music for the pin and his second WWF title at 13:52. Sid carried the match, oddly enough. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Shawn was sick as a dog for this show, although given his intake at that point god knows what that meant in reality. Too many “cold pills”, perhaps.) The Bottom Line: The WWF was drawing ratings somewhere in between “jack” and “shit” at this point and no one had any clue how to fix things, and it shows here. The only real positive sign for the future out of this show was Austin’s emerging popularity, and the rest was “Been there, done that, scored a 2.0 rating”. Total wasted opportunity here. Strong recommendation to avoid.
The SmarK Royal Rumble Countdown: 1997
12th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Netcop Retro Rant for Royal Rumble 1997 I will refrain from commentating overly on the Vince Russo thing until I can make a proper column on the subject. Suffice it to say, I TOLD YOU SO, and everyone who flamed me for my “That’s [Sports] Entertainment” column back in October where I said that this exact situation would come about can start sending apologetic e-mail to me any day now. (2012 Scott sez: So that would place this rant in early 2000, when Russo got canned. And again, hard to believe that I could have any kind of proper perspective on a show only 3 years old at that point.) Live from San Antonio, TX Your hosts are Vince, Jerry & Good ol’ JRMinis fight in the Free 4 All match, but I’m not into it. Anyway, Mascarita Sagrata Jr. (who would later become Max Mini) and partner La Parkita (mini version of La Parka) defeat Mini Vader and Mini Mankind with a crucifix pin at 4:28. Opening match, Intercontinental title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley v. Goldust. I think we’ve covered the numerous differences between pre-DX Hunter and the current one to the point where it’s pointless to do so anymore, so I won’t. HHH brings Mr. Hughes with him as his new bodyguard, a role that would be usurped by Chyna at the very next PPV, and as a result would give him actual heat for the first time in his life. (2012 Scott sez: I can vaguely remember Hughes as bodyguard for Chris Jericho, but I totally blank on him getting paired with HHH for some reason.) Both guys bump around a bit at the start. Goldust drops the ring steps on HHH’s back. HHH sort of controls back in the ring, crowd is gone. Neither guy is over enough to make a difference to the heat in the match. Out of the ring again and they bump around some more. It’s just desperate attempts to get the crowd going, and it’s not working. Goldust tries dropping the stairs on HHH’s knee this time. He slowly works the leg back in the ring, boring the crowd even more. It should be noted that there’s about 60,000 people in the building, give or take (2012 Scott sez: 48000 or so, in fact. I think 60000 was the worked number.), and a lot of them are papered (2012 Scott sez: About 20000 of them I believe it was. It was pretty crazy. Like how the fuck do you even give out that many tickets? That’s like an entire arena show given away for free!), which means that something pretty drastic needs to hook them. HHH bails, but gets clipped and dropped on the stairs knee-first. Enough with the damn stairs already! HHH gains control again as I fight to stay awake. Goldust comes back, but misses an elbow from the top and HHH gets the title belt from Hughes. Goldust steals it away and nails him, but Hughes pulls Hunter out at two. More wackiness leads to Hunter nailing Goldust from behind and hitting the Pedigree to retain at 16:45. ¼* JR assures us that this issue is far from settled. Lucky us. Faarooq v. Ahmed Johnson. This is your basic “You injured me so I’m gonna kick your ass” match, although by the time Ahmed returned from his injury the issue was pretty much forgotten. This one really should have happened at Summerslam 96 as was intended. Faarooq gets the crap beat out of him and they brawl out of the ring. Faarooq sacrifices an unnamed (but proud future European champion) Nation member to Ahmed (2012 Scott sez: That was D-Lo Brown in case you weren’t around when anyone cared about him.) and then jumps him to take control. Chinlock follows. Faarooq goes aerial but gets powerslammed. Ahmed charges and Faarooq hits a spinebuster, then Ahmed comes back with his own and everyone runs in for the lame DQ at 8:45. ½* The feud would drag on for most of the rest of 1997, before Ahmed disappeared for good. Notable spot of the night: Ahmed powerbombs another anonymous Nationeer through the French announce table. (2012 Scott sez: Man, that feud just had no legs. Maybe they should have just teamed them up as Doom 2.0 or something.) Vader v. Undertaker. If there was an issue here, damned if I can remember it. Slugfest to start, UT no-sells all of it. Vader was working loose as all hell, which was part of his problem in the WWF. Jericho is discovering the same thing, apparently. (2012 Scott sez: What a bunch of bullshit that was. Can you believe people used to slag CHRIS JERICHO for not being able to work? In 2000?!) Vader puts him down a few times, but he keeps sitting up. UT hits a fameasser out of nowhere and a slam. Legdrop gets two. Vader counters the ropewalk with leverage, and then hits a lowblow (with great facials from UT), and we head to the resting portion of the match. Second rope splash is converted to a powerslam by Taker, but Vader fights up and powerbombs him for two. UT comes back with the ropewalk and a chokeslam. Paul Bearer waddles out to ringside as Vader’s new manager and gets beaten up. He does manage to waffle UT with the urn, however, and Vader splashes and pins him at 13:17 as a result. Bleh. *1/2 for some nice power stuff. I would be remiss in not mentioning British Bulldog’s cult-favorite Rumble soundbite here, as he emerges from his car and says he’ll win the Rumble because “I’M BIZAAAAAAAAAARRE!” British people, help me out here, is this like one of those charming overseas sayings that doesn’t have any sort of meaning anywhere else in the civilized world or just Davey Boy adlibbing after one too many milk injections? (2012 Scott sez: Joke explanation: Dynamite Kid was on the Wrestling Observer radio show many years back and told a story about meeting young Davey Boy when they were both teenagers, but DK was the more experienced wrestler at that point. Davey kept bugging him for steroids, so finally Kid relented and taught him how to inject it into his ass cheeks. So then on the road the next day, Kid kept going “Mooo!” every time they drove past a farm. Finally Davey snapped at him and asked why he was mooing the whole way, and Kid told him that he had been injecting himself with milk the whole time.) Jerry Estrada, Heavy Metal & Fuerza Guerrera v. Perro Aguayo, Canek & Hector Garza. This was during the WWF’s “We’re so desperate for fresh talent we’ll even work with AAA” period, which ended up being a slight problem because Eric Bischoff already had rights to almost every luchador in Mexico, even if he never planned on using 90% of them. My notes on this entire match read “Crowd is dead silent as they flip and flop around like RVD and make contact maybe 4 times in the whole match”, so suffice it to say it’s boring, sloppy, and 3 of the people in it are very old, and the rest don’t get much of a chance to do anything. There are ways to introduce lucha libre to casual audiences, and this isn’t it. JR gives the Ross Report Blowjob of the Week™ to Hector Garza, which ended up going nowhere. (2012 Scott sez: And then in 2004, Garza got popped for steroid possession, which means that his US career is going nowhere from now on.) After an eternity, Aguayo pins Heavy Metal with a double stomp at 10:56. I like some lucha, but this was brutal. ½* Royal Rumble: 90 second intervals this year, which is silly because with some judicious booking changes (*cough* LUCHA MATCH *cough*) they could have dumped 20 minutes and done full 2-minute intervals. Anyway, Crush gets #1, Ahmed Johnson gets #2. Ahmed takes some more of his aggression out on Crush. Fake Razor is #3 and gets tossed right away, to the delight of the crowd. Took the WWF a while to take the hint with that little experiment. Faarooq comes out to interfere, so Ahmed hops over the top and chases, thus eliminating himself. Phineas “Fake Mankind, Mideon” Godwinn is #4 and that epic Crush v. PIG battle erupts. Steve Austin is #5, getting a pretty good pop. (2012 Scott sez: Steve Austin had quite the run in this Rumble, no?) PIG tosses Crush, then turns around and walks into a stunner, see ya. Bart Gunn is #6, and Austin might as well be Butterbean because Bart is gone 30 seconds later here, too. (2012 Scott sez: Man, I got a lot of mileage out of that Butterbean knockout.) Jake Roberts is #7, and he actually dominates, but Austin reverses the DDT into a backdrop and his night is over. Bulldog is #8 and goes right after Austin. Pierroth from AAA is #9. He almost immediately grabs a headlock. The Sultan (Rikishi Phatu) is #10. Mil Mascaras (villain of Foley’s book) (2012 Scott sez: And inductee into the Hall of Fame this year, apparently!) is #11. HHH is #12 as I wait for something to happen. Bulldog obliges by tossing Sultan. Owen Hart is #13. He goes after Austin, and is assisted by Bulldog. But when Bulldog & Austin fight on the ropes, Owen pushes Bulldog out (they were tag champs at the time). Goldust is #14. Cybernetico is #15 and he actually makes an impact. Marc Mero is #16 as Cybernetico and Pierroth go adios. Mascaras follows them down with a tope, but that eliminates him, too. Goldust gets revenge for earlier in the night by dumping HHH. Goldust & Mero pair off, as do Owen & Austin. Latin Lover is #17, no one cares, film at 11. Owen escapes elimination and gets Goldust out. Faarooq is #18 and rids us of Latin Lover. Ahmed charges the ring with a 2×4 and eliminates Faarooq. Owen and Mero fight on the ropes, so Austin pushes both out, thus clearing the ring. (2012 Scott sez: God bless Steve Austin for clearing out deadwood like this.) Savio Vega is #19 and he hits the floor with a KWANG! about 10 seconds later. Gimme more, Austin says. “Double J” Jesse Jammes is #20, second verse same as the first. Gimme more, Austin says. Bret Hart is #21, and the bug-eyed double-take Austin does is great. (2012 Scott sez: Not a great Rumble, but god damn Austin used to be the SHIT. And you know why? Because he wasn’t some chickenshit heel who ran from a fight. Here was a guy who you knew was getting PUSHED. You could get behind him as a fan because you knew that there was no way they were going to bail on someone who would be booked to toss out multiple guys in the Rumble and beg for a fight at #20 after entering at #5. Some got the rocket push, but Austin had fucking NASA strapped to his ass.) Super-hot slugfest follows, and Bret gets the Sharpshooter (in a battle royale?). Jerry Lawler is #22 and he leaves a thought unfinished, gets clotheslined right back out again, then finishes the thought back at ringside. Cute spot. Bret continues the assault on Austin. HELLFIRE AND TOOTHPASTE! It’s Big Daddy Dentist, Kane UniYankem DDS at #23! In this case, he’s playing Fake Diesel. Terry Funk is #24, playing Token Old-Timer for this year’s show. Funk takes Austin, Hart takes Diesel. Rocky Maivia is #25. He squares off with Diesel and Austin, a match that would draw huge today. (2012 Scott sez: 12 years after this was written, Rock and Austin have both gotten out of the business as rich men, while Kane keeps plodding along year after year. I know he does fine for himself, but it’s not like Jacobs was THAT young when he started and he’s in his mid-40s now.) Mankind is #26. He goes right after Funk and they proceed to torment each other for the rest of the match as a wink to smart fans. Flash Funk is #27. Vader is #28. Mick takes a break to rock in the corner. HOG is #29, Undertaker is #30 to finish the field. Vader and Taker collide, so Taker chokeslams everyone. Vader catches Flash and dumps him over the top. UT casually throat-slams HOG out over the top. Same for Austin, but he hangs onto the apron. Mankind mandible-claws Rocky to the floor. The crowd cheers. Mick & Terry kill each other, and Mick suplexes him to the floor. He stops to think about it, so UT calmly sends him down to the floor, too. Mick and Terry fight on the floor, so all the refs flock to break it up. At the same time, Bret tosses Austin cleanly, but no one sees it. So he sneaks back in, dumps Vader & UT (who were fighting on the ropes), followed by Diesel and then Bret himself to win the Royal Rumble at 50:26. Bret whines to the announce table afterwards. Bleh Rumble. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Once again, note that Bret is portrayed as a whiny douche.) WWF title match: Sid v. Shawn Michaels. Note to WCW: Last time someone put a World title on Sid, it nearly killed the entire promotion. I’m just saying, in case there was any doubt who should get it, that’s all. (2012 Scott sez: Not that I’m blaming the death of WCW on them putting the World title on Sid in 2000, but I’m not NOT, either. Of course, we found out later that Benoit didn’t particularly want the title anyway, so maybe it would have been best just to put it on Sid and be done with it. Evil Scott almost put in a line like “Of course, when someone put a World title on Benoit, he killed…” before the little angel guy on my shoulder told me to delete it.) Shawn had actually been turning heel leading up to this show, but in the weirdest thing anyone had seen in a while, the face pop he got here was so enormous that the entire heel turn was scrapped and he was turned full babyface again. (2012 Scott sez: So all WWE needs now for Cena is a giant stadium full of people who will cheer him. No problem!) And now, suddenly, the crowd comes to life. Shoving match to start, which doesn’t go well for Shawn. Shawn uses his speed to send Sid to the floor. They brawl and Michaels escapes a press slam with a poke to the eye. Back in and Sid powerslams him for two. Chinlock follows. Shawn escapes and gets tossed to the floor. Sid rams him back-first to the post. It gets two. Surfboard and extended bearhug work the back of Shawn. Legdrop gets two. Shawn comes back with a slam and flying forearm. Flying elbow, and Shawn warms up the band. Sid blocks the superkick and dumps Shawn to the floor, then powerbombs him there. Back in, ref bumped. Chokeslam, no ref. A second ref runs in to count two, so Sid decks him. Shawn grabs the camera from ringside and nails Sid (in retaliation for Survivor Series) and that gets two. Sid’s up, so Shawn warms up the band again and hits Sweet Chin Music for the pin and his second WWF title at 13:52. Sid carried the match, oddly enough. **1/2 (2012 Scott sez: Shawn was sick as a dog for this show, although given his intake at that point god knows what that meant in reality. Too many “cold pills”, perhaps.) The Bottom Line: The WWF was drawing ratings somewhere in between “jack” and “shit” at this point and no one had any clue how to fix things, and it shows here. The only real positive sign for the future out of this show was Austin’s emerging popularity, and the rest was “Been there, done that, scored a 2.0 rating”. Total wasted opportunity here. Strong recommendation to avoid.
Tryout #2: Marion Cobretti
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Cobra Kai Review of The Best of the King of the Ring
by Marion Cobretti
The set is hosted by King Bookah. I wasn’t into wrestling so much during the days of King Bookah, but from what I’ve seen, he’s damn entertaining. Plus, Booker can wrestle well when he wants to.
Bret Hart vs Bam Bam Bigelow – King of the Ring Finals [1993]
I’ve often thought that King of the Ring 1993 was the greatest example of ‘out with the old, in with the new’ that we’d ever see in wrestling. Hulk Hogan comes out, wrestles his last match with the WWE for almost 10 years, and gives us absolutely nothing new. Bret Hart comes in, wrestles three different matches, that were all fantastic and shows us that he’s best in the world at this point. This is a great big-man v underdog type of match, and Bret puts the icing on the cake that was an incredible night for him.
Bret Hart wins with the Owen Hart style roll-up from WMX at 18:11
***3/4
Hulk Hogan [C] vs Yokozuna – WWE Title Match
From that same night, we get the polar opposite of Bret’s performance. It’s exactly what you’d expect. The oddest looking photographer EVER uses the exploding flash-bulb and blinds The Hulkster. Yoko takes advantage, drops the leg, and we get the three count. Everyone always references the guy there dressed like Hulk Hogan, and you know where you see him next? Front row at Bash of the Beach 1994. Who is this guy, by the way? I always saw him, and he was always dressed like Hulk, and he’s always been a question mark. Why isn’t he present in the IWC? Anyways, there’s nothing memorable about this match other than the previous mentioned aspects. I understand it’s inclusion.
Yoko drops the leg for the win at 13:09
**
Owen Hart vs Razor Ramon – KOTR Finals [1994]
For the second year in a row, Razor loses out to a Hart. This match wasn’t much, but it’s nice to see Owen win, because he was always so humble. I can’t be the only one who during
his mark days, would become very mad at Razor for trying the Razor’s Edge so close to the ropes, can I? I mean, c’mon Razor, don’t you learn from your mistakes?! 1994 was the year of Owen. Well, in terms of having awesome, awesome matches. Also, I’m a bit bummed we didn’t get the classic Piper v Lawler that followed this.
Owen drops a top rope elbow for the win at 6:35
**
Bret Hart vs Jerry “The King” Lawler – Kiss My Foot Match
This was basically the cap on their feud that had been going on for about 2 years now. Why it couldn’t be a decent match, is beyond me. But the stipulation here works to Lawler’s character, because having him do whatever he could to make his foot disgusting works perfectly. Also, how does a gross foot lead to a tooth problem? But then again, why would Lawler go to his dentist to solve his problems in the ring.
Bret rocks the Sharpshooter for the win at 9:20
*
Goldust [C] vs Ahmed Johnson – Intercontinental Title Match
If Ahmed wasn’t always hurting people, he could have really gone on to big things. But, I suppose getting the rights to the letter “T” and playing Suge Knight in Too Legit: The MC Hammer Story is a pretty good consolation prize. This match goes on about 5-6 minutes too long, but other than that, nothing too much to complain about. Goldust’s The Kiss That Don’t Miss ended up working like Macho Man’s Hulkster Reviving Elbow as Ahmed scores the IC title.
Pearl River Plunge gets the pin at 15:34
**
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Jake The Snake Roberts – KOTR Finals [1996]
We all know why this is included. Did anybody watching this even think for a second that Jake was going to win? Man, was his “reborn” gimmick boring beyond belief. He should
have just gone to ECW as the classic Snake and feuded with Raven. Man would that have been one of the all time great feuds. Perhaps it’s just me, but I prefer the Stunner when Stone Cold doesn’t include the kick. It just seems a little more brutal. This does include the speech.
Stone Cold Stunner for the win at 4:28
**
DISC TWO
Shawn Michaels [C] vs. British Bulldog – WWE Championship Match
This was your typical bout where Shawn was in his prime and having great matches with anyone and anything.The match at Beware of Dog ended in a double pin, thus setting up this bout, which ends in interference. I don’t understand the need to protect Bulldog again, and I’m astonished that Shawn didn’t have it vetoed, and the match was then that Bulldog got to be inside Truckosaurus, but Shawn still beat The British Truckosaurus with a superkick & Kerry Von Erich’s false foot. Anyways, this match is a perfectly fine that isn’t as great as Beware of Dog, but gets the job done.
Tons of interference gets the bell at 26:25
***3/4
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels
I don’t recall why they were having this match, but I do remember the absolutely fantastic tag-match where they beat Bulldog & Owen on Raw. Man, was 97 great. Either way, this match is all sorts of awesome. I wish they would have had an actual finish, but I suppose the need to keep both strong makes sense. I love that the mentally challenged kid just loves Shawn so much, that he’ll do anything to get to Stone Cold. This kid just man-handles security.
Ref calls for a no-decision at 23:01
****1/4
Triple H vs Mankind – KOTR Finals [1997]
I don’t get it. Do I have some sorta special eyes that creates some sorta They Live scenario when I watch this match? Most people don’t give this bout the time of day, but I LOVE IT. It’s absolutely fantastic and one of the most under-rated matches of all time, I think. The crowd wasn’t into this until the last 3rd of it, and I don’t understand their apathy either. This match just kept building and building, it’s incredible. Is there anyone else out there who loves this match?
Triple H hits Mick with the Pedigree for the win at 19:24
****1/4
The Rock vs Ken Shamrock – KOTR Finals [1998]
I didn’t expect much out this one, but I really enjoyed it. The Rock proves just as much that he’s the man, getting a damn great match out of Ken Shamrock. It’s a meat & potatoes type of match, that’s delivered with a clean finish. Worth your time.
The Rock taps out to the ankle-lock at 14:09
***1/2
The Undertaker vs Mankind – Hell in a Cell
Has a year gone by where the WWE hasn’t released a DVD with this match on it? I mean, there’s at least 5-6 DVDs with this. Funny thing is, I usually watch it with every DVD I get that has it, and my opinion of it always improves. I hate the first spot because of what a waste of time it is, it just eats up the minutes, and I get so sick of the replay. Anyways, it turns into a real war, and they take what would be a 20-30 minute hardcore match and cram in all the greatest hits.
The Undertaker gets the pin with the Tombstone at 16:01
***** for history and such, **** for the actual match.
DISC THREE
The Undertaker vs The Rock – WWE Championship Match
There’s not much to say about this match, honestly. Undertaker was doing his super-evil gimmick here, which produced a run of matches nearly as bad as Biker-Taker, and this is no bright shining star. Taker punches out the ref right when the bell rings for absolutely no reason. I believe everyone knew that things weren’t working with ‘Taker, because he dropped the title on Raw the next night.
Undertaker gets the tombstone on The Rock for the pin at 19:10
*1/2
Triple H, Vince & Shane McMahon vs The Rock, Undertaker & Kane – 6 Man Tag For the WWE Championship
The 2000’s was probably the greatest year of high quality wrestling ever, as far as the WWE was concerned. Starting at Royal Rumble 2000, they started on an awesome streak of incredible PPVs that ended with King of the Ring. Sure, WM2000 wasn’t a huge success, but it had the awesome triangle-ladder match, and the Kurt v Jericho v Benoit bout. That’s more than KOTR2000 had, and the main event here is in no way a saving grace. There’s not much to say here about the match, because it runs 20 minutes, has Vince McMahon, and doesn’t flow at all. Don’t bother with this at all.
Rock Bottom to Vince allows Rock to get the pin at 18:55
*
Rikishi vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2000]
This match is about 5 minutes, and it’s Kurt just taking everyone on home to the finish-line that we all saw coming miles away.
Kurt nails Rikishi with the superplex and the pin at 5:00
*
Jeff Hardy vs X-Pac – Light Heavyweight Championship Match
They’re kind of reaching here on the 3rd disc, but I guess it’s always nice to be reminded of one of the 12 times they tried to have a Lightweight title. There’s nothing wrong with this match, and I think if they got an extra 5 minutes they could have produced a pretty decent match. But then that might have helped elevate the title, so, no. The blown spot is a pretty bad one, and both guys seem kinda out of it afterward.
Jeff hits the Swanton at 7:12
**1/4
Edge vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2001]
Ah, now we’re talking. Kurt extended his hand in friendship, and asks Edge to bow-out so Kurt can rest up for his show-stealing match with Shane later. Edge gives it some thought, but opts not too. This is a great match,. and it’s no surprise because Edge & Kurt always had chemistry.
Kurt eats the Impaler for the pin at 10:22
***1/4
Kurt Angle vs Shane McMahon – Street Fight
Oooh man. This match was the big reason for me buying this DVD. This match is absolutely incredible, and to my amazement doesn’t get love from everyone. How? I have no idea. These guys go full tilt for almost a half and hour, and they both show what passion they have for putting on a great show. According to Kurt from his RF Shoot, someone ordered the wrong kind of glass, and what they ended up with was the absolute worst kind of material they could be crashing through. Once the glass didn’t break, Shane didn’t have to go for it again, but he did. When it came to the 2nd glass pane, knowing that he’d been cut to hell the first time around, he could have vetoed going through it, but he didn’t. Then when TWO suplexes didn’t do it, he didn’t have to get thrown through it head first, but he did. This match is absolutely incredible, and I’m shocked it didn’t get Match of the Year for 2001.
Kurt gives Shane the Angle Slam from the top rope for the pin at 26:01
*****
Brock Lesnar vs RVD – KOTR Finals [2002]
Brock was on the war path, and the winner here got a shot at the WWE Championship at the upcoming SummerSlam. I can’t imagine anyone had RVD for the win. A typical Raw match with no real high-light.
Brock gets the F5 on RVD for the pin at 5:56
**
Kurt Angle vs Hulk Hogan
I know a lot of people don’t like Hogan, but for my money, when he was in the ring with an awesome worker they could have a hell of a match, see Jericho’s DVD for proof. I didn’t know Kurt was during his wig period for this match, and busted a gut. Hands down, that’s the funniest thing any wrestler has ever done. It’s absolutely hilarious, and one of the reasons why heel Kurt was my all time favorite bad-guy. Kurt carries Hogan to one of the better matches of his 2nd WWE run, and Hogan even taps to the Ankle-Lock which is absolutely amazing. That’d be like seeing Cena tap.
Kurt Angle gets Hogan to tap to the Ankle-Lock at 12:06
***1/4
Booker T vs Bobby Lashley – KOTR Finals [2006]
After 2002, the KOTR gimmick was dead. No one really missed it, because of how pointless it had become. But I think they had a plan with this, so it all makes sense. Booker is able to take the rather green Lashley, and carry him to a very watchable match. The last few minutes really get the match going, and makes you wish they would have kept it going.
Booker T with the axe kick and the pin at 9:12
***
CM Punk vs William Regal – KOTR Finals [2008]
There was no real reason to bring back KOTR, but if they actually put some stock into William as a heel, he could have done some real damage. Punk took out Henry & Jericho, while Regal passed Hornswaggle & Finlay. They don’t give this match much time, thus showing us just how much we should really care.
Regal scores the win at 4:04
**
John Morrison vs Sheamus – KOTR Finals [2010]
It’s an absolute shame that these guys didn’t have a big feud, because they have a crazy chemistry. This match is fantastic. Sheamus comes out there as the brute that he is, and works the hell out of John’s arm & shoulder. Right when you think that there’s no hope for Morrison, he’ll do something to get the best of Sheamus, and help turn the tides. You really felt like this could go either way, and if they were given 5-10 more minutes, they could have broken 4 stars, no problem at all. Also, I still stand that Starship Pain is probably the lamest finisher of all time.
Sheamus hits the High-Cross on John for the pin at 8:32
***1/2
Last Word: This is a fantastic set. They cover the King of the Ring in a exhaustive manner, and give us all the gems. Thankfully they didn’t feel the need to give us coverage of King Ass, or King Mabel. Although to be honest, I would have liked a look back at King Mabel, simply for how atrocious of a decision it was. I would definitely give this set a recommendation. All in all, as a set it gets ****1/2.
Tryout #2: Marion Cobretti
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Cobra Kai Review of The Best of the King of the Ring
by Marion Cobretti
The set is hosted by King Bookah. I wasn’t into wrestling so much during the days of King Bookah, but from what I’ve seen, he’s damn entertaining. Plus, Booker can wrestle well when he wants to.
Bret Hart vs Bam Bam Bigelow – King of the Ring Finals [1993]
I’ve often thought that King of the Ring 1993 was the greatest example of ‘out with the old, in with the new’ that we’d ever see in wrestling. Hulk Hogan comes out, wrestles his last match with the WWE for almost 10 years, and gives us absolutely nothing new. Bret Hart comes in, wrestles three different matches, that were all fantastic and shows us that he’s best in the world at this point. This is a great big-man v underdog type of match, and Bret puts the icing on the cake that was an incredible night for him.
Bret Hart wins with the Owen Hart style roll-up from WMX at 18:11
***3/4
Hulk Hogan [C] vs Yokozuna – WWE Title Match
From that same night, we get the polar opposite of Bret’s performance. It’s exactly what you’d expect. The oddest looking photographer EVER uses the exploding flash-bulb and blinds The Hulkster. Yoko takes advantage, drops the leg, and we get the three count. Everyone always references the guy there dressed like Hulk Hogan, and you know where you see him next? Front row at Bash of the Beach 1994. Who is this guy, by the way? I always saw him, and he was always dressed like Hulk, and he’s always been a question mark. Why isn’t he present in the IWC? Anyways, there’s nothing memorable about this match other than the previous mentioned aspects. I understand it’s inclusion.
Yoko drops the leg for the win at 13:09
**
Owen Hart vs Razor Ramon – KOTR Finals [1994]
For the second year in a row, Razor loses out to a Hart. This match wasn’t much, but it’s nice to see Owen win, because he was always so humble. I can’t be the only one who during
his mark days, would become very mad at Razor for trying the Razor’s Edge so close to the ropes, can I? I mean, c’mon Razor, don’t you learn from your mistakes?! 1994 was the year of Owen. Well, in terms of having awesome, awesome matches. Also, I’m a bit bummed we didn’t get the classic Piper v Lawler that followed this.
Owen drops a top rope elbow for the win at 6:35
**
Bret Hart vs Jerry “The King” Lawler – Kiss My Foot Match
This was basically the cap on their feud that had been going on for about 2 years now. Why it couldn’t be a decent match, is beyond me. But the stipulation here works to Lawler’s character, because having him do whatever he could to make his foot disgusting works perfectly. Also, how does a gross foot lead to a tooth problem? But then again, why would Lawler go to his dentist to solve his problems in the ring.
Bret rocks the Sharpshooter for the win at 9:20
*
Goldust [C] vs Ahmed Johnson – Intercontinental Title Match
If Ahmed wasn’t always hurting people, he could have really gone on to big things. But, I suppose getting the rights to the letter “T” and playing Suge Knight in Too Legit: The MC Hammer Story is a pretty good consolation prize. This match goes on about 5-6 minutes too long, but other than that, nothing too much to complain about. Goldust’s The Kiss That Don’t Miss ended up working like Macho Man’s Hulkster Reviving Elbow as Ahmed scores the IC title.
Pearl River Plunge gets the pin at 15:34
**
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Jake The Snake Roberts – KOTR Finals [1996]
We all know why this is included. Did anybody watching this even think for a second that Jake was going to win? Man, was his “reborn” gimmick boring beyond belief. He should
have just gone to ECW as the classic Snake and feuded with Raven. Man would that have been one of the all time great feuds. Perhaps it’s just me, but I prefer the Stunner when Stone Cold doesn’t include the kick. It just seems a little more brutal. This does include the speech.
Stone Cold Stunner for the win at 4:28
**
DISC TWO
Shawn Michaels [C] vs. British Bulldog – WWE Championship Match
This was your typical bout where Shawn was in his prime and having great matches with anyone and anything.The match at Beware of Dog ended in a double pin, thus setting up this bout, which ends in interference. I don’t understand the need to protect Bulldog again, and I’m astonished that Shawn didn’t have it vetoed, and the match was then that Bulldog got to be inside Truckosaurus, but Shawn still beat The British Truckosaurus with a superkick & Kerry Von Erich’s false foot. Anyways, this match is a perfectly fine that isn’t as great as Beware of Dog, but gets the job done.
Tons of interference gets the bell at 26:25
***3/4
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels
I don’t recall why they were having this match, but I do remember the absolutely fantastic tag-match where they beat Bulldog & Owen on Raw. Man, was 97 great. Either way, this match is all sorts of awesome. I wish they would have had an actual finish, but I suppose the need to keep both strong makes sense. I love that the mentally challenged kid just loves Shawn so much, that he’ll do anything to get to Stone Cold. This kid just man-handles security.
Ref calls for a no-decision at 23:01
****1/4
Triple H vs Mankind – KOTR Finals [1997]
I don’t get it. Do I have some sorta special eyes that creates some sorta They Live scenario when I watch this match? Most people don’t give this bout the time of day, but I LOVE IT. It’s absolutely fantastic and one of the most under-rated matches of all time, I think. The crowd wasn’t into this until the last 3rd of it, and I don’t understand their apathy either. This match just kept building and building, it’s incredible. Is there anyone else out there who loves this match?
Triple H hits Mick with the Pedigree for the win at 19:24
****1/4
The Rock vs Ken Shamrock – KOTR Finals [1998]
I didn’t expect much out this one, but I really enjoyed it. The Rock proves just as much that he’s the man, getting a damn great match out of Ken Shamrock. It’s a meat & potatoes type of match, that’s delivered with a clean finish. Worth your time.
The Rock taps out to the ankle-lock at 14:09
***1/2
The Undertaker vs Mankind – Hell in a Cell
Has a year gone by where the WWE hasn’t released a DVD with this match on it? I mean, there’s at least 5-6 DVDs with this. Funny thing is, I usually watch it with every DVD I get that has it, and my opinion of it always improves. I hate the first spot because of what a waste of time it is, it just eats up the minutes, and I get so sick of the replay. Anyways, it turns into a real war, and they take what would be a 20-30 minute hardcore match and cram in all the greatest hits.
The Undertaker gets the pin with the Tombstone at 16:01
***** for history and such, **** for the actual match.
DISC THREE
The Undertaker vs The Rock – WWE Championship Match
There’s not much to say about this match, honestly. Undertaker was doing his super-evil gimmick here, which produced a run of matches nearly as bad as Biker-Taker, and this is no bright shining star. Taker punches out the ref right when the bell rings for absolutely no reason. I believe everyone knew that things weren’t working with ‘Taker, because he dropped the title on Raw the next night.
Undertaker gets the tombstone on The Rock for the pin at 19:10
*1/2
Triple H, Vince & Shane McMahon vs The Rock, Undertaker & Kane – 6 Man Tag For the WWE Championship
The 2000’s was probably the greatest year of high quality wrestling ever, as far as the WWE was concerned. Starting at Royal Rumble 2000, they started on an awesome streak of incredible PPVs that ended with King of the Ring. Sure, WM2000 wasn’t a huge success, but it had the awesome triangle-ladder match, and the Kurt v Jericho v Benoit bout. That’s more than KOTR2000 had, and the main event here is in no way a saving grace. There’s not much to say here about the match, because it runs 20 minutes, has Vince McMahon, and doesn’t flow at all. Don’t bother with this at all.
Rock Bottom to Vince allows Rock to get the pin at 18:55
*
Rikishi vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2000]
This match is about 5 minutes, and it’s Kurt just taking everyone on home to the finish-line that we all saw coming miles away.
Kurt nails Rikishi with the superplex and the pin at 5:00
*
Jeff Hardy vs X-Pac – Light Heavyweight Championship Match
They’re kind of reaching here on the 3rd disc, but I guess it’s always nice to be reminded of one of the 12 times they tried to have a Lightweight title. There’s nothing wrong with this match, and I think if they got an extra 5 minutes they could have produced a pretty decent match. But then that might have helped elevate the title, so, no. The blown spot is a pretty bad one, and both guys seem kinda out of it afterward.
Jeff hits the Swanton at 7:12
**1/4
Edge vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2001]
Ah, now we’re talking. Kurt extended his hand in friendship, and asks Edge to bow-out so Kurt can rest up for his show-stealing match with Shane later. Edge gives it some thought, but opts not too. This is a great match,. and it’s no surprise because Edge & Kurt always had chemistry.
Kurt eats the Impaler for the pin at 10:22
***1/4
Kurt Angle vs Shane McMahon – Street Fight
Oooh man. This match was the big reason for me buying this DVD. This match is absolutely incredible, and to my amazement doesn’t get love from everyone. How? I have no idea. These guys go full tilt for almost a half and hour, and they both show what passion they have for putting on a great show. According to Kurt from his RF Shoot, someone ordered the wrong kind of glass, and what they ended up with was the absolute worst kind of material they could be crashing through. Once the glass didn’t break, Shane didn’t have to go for it again, but he did. When it came to the 2nd glass pane, knowing that he’d been cut to hell the first time around, he could have vetoed going through it, but he didn’t. Then when TWO suplexes didn’t do it, he didn’t have to get thrown through it head first, but he did. This match is absolutely incredible, and I’m shocked it didn’t get Match of the Year for 2001.
Kurt gives Shane the Angle Slam from the top rope for the pin at 26:01
*****
Brock Lesnar vs RVD – KOTR Finals [2002]
Brock was on the war path, and the winner here got a shot at the WWE Championship at the upcoming SummerSlam. I can’t imagine anyone had RVD for the win. A typical Raw match with no real high-light.
Brock gets the F5 on RVD for the pin at 5:56
**
Kurt Angle vs Hulk Hogan
I know a lot of people don’t like Hogan, but for my money, when he was in the ring with an awesome worker they could have a hell of a match, see Jericho’s DVD for proof. I didn’t know Kurt was during his wig period for this match, and busted a gut. Hands down, that’s the funniest thing any wrestler has ever done. It’s absolutely hilarious, and one of the reasons why heel Kurt was my all time favorite bad-guy. Kurt carries Hogan to one of the better matches of his 2nd WWE run, and Hogan even taps to the Ankle-Lock which is absolutely amazing. That’d be like seeing Cena tap.
Kurt Angle gets Hogan to tap to the Ankle-Lock at 12:06
***1/4
Booker T vs Bobby Lashley – KOTR Finals [2006]
After 2002, the KOTR gimmick was dead. No one really missed it, because of how pointless it had become. But I think they had a plan with this, so it all makes sense. Booker is able to take the rather green Lashley, and carry him to a very watchable match. The last few minutes really get the match going, and makes you wish they would have kept it going.
Booker T with the axe kick and the pin at 9:12
***
CM Punk vs William Regal – KOTR Finals [2008]
There was no real reason to bring back KOTR, but if they actually put some stock into William as a heel, he could have done some real damage. Punk took out Henry & Jericho, while Regal passed Hornswaggle & Finlay. They don’t give this match much time, thus showing us just how much we should really care.
Regal scores the win at 4:04
**
John Morrison vs Sheamus – KOTR Finals [2010]
It’s an absolute shame that these guys didn’t have a big feud, because they have a crazy chemistry. This match is fantastic. Sheamus comes out there as the brute that he is, and works the hell out of John’s arm & shoulder. Right when you think that there’s no hope for Morrison, he’ll do something to get the best of Sheamus, and help turn the tides. You really felt like this could go either way, and if they were given 5-10 more minutes, they could have broken 4 stars, no problem at all. Also, I still stand that Starship Pain is probably the lamest finisher of all time.
Sheamus hits the High-Cross on John for the pin at 8:32
***1/2
Last Word: This is a fantastic set. They cover the King of the Ring in a exhaustive manner, and give us all the gems. Thankfully they didn’t feel the need to give us coverage of King Ass, or King Mabel. Although to be honest, I would have liked a look back at King Mabel, simply for how atrocious of a decision it was. I would definitely give this set a recommendation. All in all, as a set it gets ****1/2.
Tryout #2: Marion Cobretti
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Cobra Kai Review of The Best of the King of the Ring
by Marion Cobretti
The set is hosted by King Bookah. I wasn’t into wrestling so much during the days of King Bookah, but from what I’ve seen, he’s damn entertaining. Plus, Booker can wrestle well when he wants to.
Bret Hart vs Bam Bam Bigelow – King of the Ring Finals [1993]
I’ve often thought that King of the Ring 1993 was the greatest example of ‘out with the old, in with the new’ that we’d ever see in wrestling. Hulk Hogan comes out, wrestles his last match with the WWE for almost 10 years, and gives us absolutely nothing new. Bret Hart comes in, wrestles three different matches, that were all fantastic and shows us that he’s best in the world at this point. This is a great big-man v underdog type of match, and Bret puts the icing on the cake that was an incredible night for him.
Bret Hart wins with the Owen Hart style roll-up from WMX at 18:11
***3/4
Hulk Hogan [C] vs Yokozuna – WWE Title Match
From that same night, we get the polar opposite of Bret’s performance. It’s exactly what you’d expect. The oddest looking photographer EVER uses the exploding flash-bulb and blinds The Hulkster. Yoko takes advantage, drops the leg, and we get the three count. Everyone always references the guy there dressed like Hulk Hogan, and you know where you see him next? Front row at Bash of the Beach 1994. Who is this guy, by the way? I always saw him, and he was always dressed like Hulk, and he’s always been a question mark. Why isn’t he present in the IWC? Anyways, there’s nothing memorable about this match other than the previous mentioned aspects. I understand it’s inclusion.
Yoko drops the leg for the win at 13:09
**
Owen Hart vs Razor Ramon – KOTR Finals [1994]
For the second year in a row, Razor loses out to a Hart. This match wasn’t much, but it’s nice to see Owen win, because he was always so humble. I can’t be the only one who during
his mark days, would become very mad at Razor for trying the Razor’s Edge so close to the ropes, can I? I mean, c’mon Razor, don’t you learn from your mistakes?! 1994 was the year of Owen. Well, in terms of having awesome, awesome matches. Also, I’m a bit bummed we didn’t get the classic Piper v Lawler that followed this.
Owen drops a top rope elbow for the win at 6:35
**
Bret Hart vs Jerry “The King” Lawler – Kiss My Foot Match
This was basically the cap on their feud that had been going on for about 2 years now. Why it couldn’t be a decent match, is beyond me. But the stipulation here works to Lawler’s character, because having him do whatever he could to make his foot disgusting works perfectly. Also, how does a gross foot lead to a tooth problem? But then again, why would Lawler go to his dentist to solve his problems in the ring.
Bret rocks the Sharpshooter for the win at 9:20
*
Goldust [C] vs Ahmed Johnson – Intercontinental Title Match
If Ahmed wasn’t always hurting people, he could have really gone on to big things. But, I suppose getting the rights to the letter “T” and playing Suge Knight in Too Legit: The MC Hammer Story is a pretty good consolation prize. This match goes on about 5-6 minutes too long, but other than that, nothing too much to complain about. Goldust’s The Kiss That Don’t Miss ended up working like Macho Man’s Hulkster Reviving Elbow as Ahmed scores the IC title.
Pearl River Plunge gets the pin at 15:34
**
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Jake The Snake Roberts – KOTR Finals [1996]
We all know why this is included. Did anybody watching this even think for a second that Jake was going to win? Man, was his “reborn” gimmick boring beyond belief. He should
have just gone to ECW as the classic Snake and feuded with Raven. Man would that have been one of the all time great feuds. Perhaps it’s just me, but I prefer the Stunner when Stone Cold doesn’t include the kick. It just seems a little more brutal. This does include the speech.
Stone Cold Stunner for the win at 4:28
**
DISC TWO
Shawn Michaels [C] vs. British Bulldog – WWE Championship Match
This was your typical bout where Shawn was in his prime and having great matches with anyone and anything.The match at Beware of Dog ended in a double pin, thus setting up this bout, which ends in interference. I don’t understand the need to protect Bulldog again, and I’m astonished that Shawn didn’t have it vetoed, and the match was then that Bulldog got to be inside Truckosaurus, but Shawn still beat The British Truckosaurus with a superkick & Kerry Von Erich’s false foot. Anyways, this match is a perfectly fine that isn’t as great as Beware of Dog, but gets the job done.
Tons of interference gets the bell at 26:25
***3/4
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels
I don’t recall why they were having this match, but I do remember the absolutely fantastic tag-match where they beat Bulldog & Owen on Raw. Man, was 97 great. Either way, this match is all sorts of awesome. I wish they would have had an actual finish, but I suppose the need to keep both strong makes sense. I love that the mentally challenged kid just loves Shawn so much, that he’ll do anything to get to Stone Cold. This kid just man-handles security.
Ref calls for a no-decision at 23:01
****1/4
Triple H vs Mankind – KOTR Finals [1997]
I don’t get it. Do I have some sorta special eyes that creates some sorta They Live scenario when I watch this match? Most people don’t give this bout the time of day, but I LOVE IT. It’s absolutely fantastic and one of the most under-rated matches of all time, I think. The crowd wasn’t into this until the last 3rd of it, and I don’t understand their apathy either. This match just kept building and building, it’s incredible. Is there anyone else out there who loves this match?
Triple H hits Mick with the Pedigree for the win at 19:24
****1/4
The Rock vs Ken Shamrock – KOTR Finals [1998]
I didn’t expect much out this one, but I really enjoyed it. The Rock proves just as much that he’s the man, getting a damn great match out of Ken Shamrock. It’s a meat & potatoes type of match, that’s delivered with a clean finish. Worth your time.
The Rock taps out to the ankle-lock at 14:09
***1/2
The Undertaker vs Mankind – Hell in a Cell
Has a year gone by where the WWE hasn’t released a DVD with this match on it? I mean, there’s at least 5-6 DVDs with this. Funny thing is, I usually watch it with every DVD I get that has it, and my opinion of it always improves. I hate the first spot because of what a waste of time it is, it just eats up the minutes, and I get so sick of the replay. Anyways, it turns into a real war, and they take what would be a 20-30 minute hardcore match and cram in all the greatest hits.
The Undertaker gets the pin with the Tombstone at 16:01
***** for history and such, **** for the actual match.
DISC THREE
The Undertaker vs The Rock – WWE Championship Match
There’s not much to say about this match, honestly. Undertaker was doing his super-evil gimmick here, which produced a run of matches nearly as bad as Biker-Taker, and this is no bright shining star. Taker punches out the ref right when the bell rings for absolutely no reason. I believe everyone knew that things weren’t working with ‘Taker, because he dropped the title on Raw the next night.
Undertaker gets the tombstone on The Rock for the pin at 19:10
*1/2
Triple H, Vince & Shane McMahon vs The Rock, Undertaker & Kane – 6 Man Tag For the WWE Championship
The 2000’s was probably the greatest year of high quality wrestling ever, as far as the WWE was concerned. Starting at Royal Rumble 2000, they started on an awesome streak of incredible PPVs that ended with King of the Ring. Sure, WM2000 wasn’t a huge success, but it had the awesome triangle-ladder match, and the Kurt v Jericho v Benoit bout. That’s more than KOTR2000 had, and the main event here is in no way a saving grace. There’s not much to say here about the match, because it runs 20 minutes, has Vince McMahon, and doesn’t flow at all. Don’t bother with this at all.
Rock Bottom to Vince allows Rock to get the pin at 18:55
*
Rikishi vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2000]
This match is about 5 minutes, and it’s Kurt just taking everyone on home to the finish-line that we all saw coming miles away.
Kurt nails Rikishi with the superplex and the pin at 5:00
*
Jeff Hardy vs X-Pac – Light Heavyweight Championship Match
They’re kind of reaching here on the 3rd disc, but I guess it’s always nice to be reminded of one of the 12 times they tried to have a Lightweight title. There’s nothing wrong with this match, and I think if they got an extra 5 minutes they could have produced a pretty decent match. But then that might have helped elevate the title, so, no. The blown spot is a pretty bad one, and both guys seem kinda out of it afterward.
Jeff hits the Swanton at 7:12
**1/4
Edge vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2001]
Ah, now we’re talking. Kurt extended his hand in friendship, and asks Edge to bow-out so Kurt can rest up for his show-stealing match with Shane later. Edge gives it some thought, but opts not too. This is a great match,. and it’s no surprise because Edge & Kurt always had chemistry.
Kurt eats the Impaler for the pin at 10:22
***1/4
Kurt Angle vs Shane McMahon – Street Fight
Oooh man. This match was the big reason for me buying this DVD. This match is absolutely incredible, and to my amazement doesn’t get love from everyone. How? I have no idea. These guys go full tilt for almost a half and hour, and they both show what passion they have for putting on a great show. According to Kurt from his RF Shoot, someone ordered the wrong kind of glass, and what they ended up with was the absolute worst kind of material they could be crashing through. Once the glass didn’t break, Shane didn’t have to go for it again, but he did. When it came to the 2nd glass pane, knowing that he’d been cut to hell the first time around, he could have vetoed going through it, but he didn’t. Then when TWO suplexes didn’t do it, he didn’t have to get thrown through it head first, but he did. This match is absolutely incredible, and I’m shocked it didn’t get Match of the Year for 2001.
Kurt gives Shane the Angle Slam from the top rope for the pin at 26:01
*****
Brock Lesnar vs RVD – KOTR Finals [2002]
Brock was on the war path, and the winner here got a shot at the WWE Championship at the upcoming SummerSlam. I can’t imagine anyone had RVD for the win. A typical Raw match with no real high-light.
Brock gets the F5 on RVD for the pin at 5:56
**
Kurt Angle vs Hulk Hogan
I know a lot of people don’t like Hogan, but for my money, when he was in the ring with an awesome worker they could have a hell of a match, see Jericho’s DVD for proof. I didn’t know Kurt was during his wig period for this match, and busted a gut. Hands down, that’s the funniest thing any wrestler has ever done. It’s absolutely hilarious, and one of the reasons why heel Kurt was my all time favorite bad-guy. Kurt carries Hogan to one of the better matches of his 2nd WWE run, and Hogan even taps to the Ankle-Lock which is absolutely amazing. That’d be like seeing Cena tap.
Kurt Angle gets Hogan to tap to the Ankle-Lock at 12:06
***1/4
Booker T vs Bobby Lashley – KOTR Finals [2006]
After 2002, the KOTR gimmick was dead. No one really missed it, because of how pointless it had become. But I think they had a plan with this, so it all makes sense. Booker is able to take the rather green Lashley, and carry him to a very watchable match. The last few minutes really get the match going, and makes you wish they would have kept it going.
Booker T with the axe kick and the pin at 9:12
***
CM Punk vs William Regal – KOTR Finals [2008]
There was no real reason to bring back KOTR, but if they actually put some stock into William as a heel, he could have done some real damage. Punk took out Henry & Jericho, while Regal passed Hornswaggle & Finlay. They don’t give this match much time, thus showing us just how much we should really care.
Regal scores the win at 4:04
**
John Morrison vs Sheamus – KOTR Finals [2010]
It’s an absolute shame that these guys didn’t have a big feud, because they have a crazy chemistry. This match is fantastic. Sheamus comes out there as the brute that he is, and works the hell out of John’s arm & shoulder. Right when you think that there’s no hope for Morrison, he’ll do something to get the best of Sheamus, and help turn the tides. You really felt like this could go either way, and if they were given 5-10 more minutes, they could have broken 4 stars, no problem at all. Also, I still stand that Starship Pain is probably the lamest finisher of all time.
Sheamus hits the High-Cross on John for the pin at 8:32
***1/2
Last Word: This is a fantastic set. They cover the King of the Ring in a exhaustive manner, and give us all the gems. Thankfully they didn’t feel the need to give us coverage of King Ass, or King Mabel. Although to be honest, I would have liked a look back at King Mabel, simply for how atrocious of a decision it was. I would definitely give this set a recommendation. All in all, as a set it gets ****1/2.
Tryout #2: Marion Cobretti
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Cobra Kai Review of The Best of the King of the Ring
by Marion Cobretti
The set is hosted by King Bookah. I wasn’t into wrestling so much during the days of King Bookah, but from what I’ve seen, he’s damn entertaining. Plus, Booker can wrestle well when he wants to.
Bret Hart vs Bam Bam Bigelow – King of the Ring Finals [1993]
I’ve often thought that King of the Ring 1993 was the greatest example of ‘out with the old, in with the new’ that we’d ever see in wrestling. Hulk Hogan comes out, wrestles his last match with the WWE for almost 10 years, and gives us absolutely nothing new. Bret Hart comes in, wrestles three different matches, that were all fantastic and shows us that he’s best in the world at this point. This is a great big-man v underdog type of match, and Bret puts the icing on the cake that was an incredible night for him.
Bret Hart wins with the Owen Hart style roll-up from WMX at 18:11
***3/4
Hulk Hogan [C] vs Yokozuna – WWE Title Match
From that same night, we get the polar opposite of Bret’s performance. It’s exactly what you’d expect. The oddest looking photographer EVER uses the exploding flash-bulb and blinds The Hulkster. Yoko takes advantage, drops the leg, and we get the three count. Everyone always references the guy there dressed like Hulk Hogan, and you know where you see him next? Front row at Bash of the Beach 1994. Who is this guy, by the way? I always saw him, and he was always dressed like Hulk, and he’s always been a question mark. Why isn’t he present in the IWC? Anyways, there’s nothing memorable about this match other than the previous mentioned aspects. I understand it’s inclusion.
Yoko drops the leg for the win at 13:09
**
Owen Hart vs Razor Ramon – KOTR Finals [1994]
For the second year in a row, Razor loses out to a Hart. This match wasn’t much, but it’s nice to see Owen win, because he was always so humble. I can’t be the only one who during
his mark days, would become very mad at Razor for trying the Razor’s Edge so close to the ropes, can I? I mean, c’mon Razor, don’t you learn from your mistakes?! 1994 was the year of Owen. Well, in terms of having awesome, awesome matches. Also, I’m a bit bummed we didn’t get the classic Piper v Lawler that followed this.
Owen drops a top rope elbow for the win at 6:35
**
Bret Hart vs Jerry “The King” Lawler – Kiss My Foot Match
This was basically the cap on their feud that had been going on for about 2 years now. Why it couldn’t be a decent match, is beyond me. But the stipulation here works to Lawler’s character, because having him do whatever he could to make his foot disgusting works perfectly. Also, how does a gross foot lead to a tooth problem? But then again, why would Lawler go to his dentist to solve his problems in the ring.
Bret rocks the Sharpshooter for the win at 9:20
*
Goldust [C] vs Ahmed Johnson – Intercontinental Title Match
If Ahmed wasn’t always hurting people, he could have really gone on to big things. But, I suppose getting the rights to the letter “T” and playing Suge Knight in Too Legit: The MC Hammer Story is a pretty good consolation prize. This match goes on about 5-6 minutes too long, but other than that, nothing too much to complain about. Goldust’s The Kiss That Don’t Miss ended up working like Macho Man’s Hulkster Reviving Elbow as Ahmed scores the IC title.
Pearl River Plunge gets the pin at 15:34
**
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Jake The Snake Roberts – KOTR Finals [1996]
We all know why this is included. Did anybody watching this even think for a second that Jake was going to win? Man, was his “reborn” gimmick boring beyond belief. He should
have just gone to ECW as the classic Snake and feuded with Raven. Man would that have been one of the all time great feuds. Perhaps it’s just me, but I prefer the Stunner when Stone Cold doesn’t include the kick. It just seems a little more brutal. This does include the speech.
Stone Cold Stunner for the win at 4:28
**
DISC TWO
Shawn Michaels [C] vs. British Bulldog – WWE Championship Match
This was your typical bout where Shawn was in his prime and having great matches with anyone and anything.The match at Beware of Dog ended in a double pin, thus setting up this bout, which ends in interference. I don’t understand the need to protect Bulldog again, and I’m astonished that Shawn didn’t have it vetoed, and the match was then that Bulldog got to be inside Truckosaurus, but Shawn still beat The British Truckosaurus with a superkick & Kerry Von Erich’s false foot. Anyways, this match is a perfectly fine that isn’t as great as Beware of Dog, but gets the job done.
Tons of interference gets the bell at 26:25
***3/4
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels
I don’t recall why they were having this match, but I do remember the absolutely fantastic tag-match where they beat Bulldog & Owen on Raw. Man, was 97 great. Either way, this match is all sorts of awesome. I wish they would have had an actual finish, but I suppose the need to keep both strong makes sense. I love that the mentally challenged kid just loves Shawn so much, that he’ll do anything to get to Stone Cold. This kid just man-handles security.
Ref calls for a no-decision at 23:01
****1/4
Triple H vs Mankind – KOTR Finals [1997]
I don’t get it. Do I have some sorta special eyes that creates some sorta They Live scenario when I watch this match? Most people don’t give this bout the time of day, but I LOVE IT. It’s absolutely fantastic and one of the most under-rated matches of all time, I think. The crowd wasn’t into this until the last 3rd of it, and I don’t understand their apathy either. This match just kept building and building, it’s incredible. Is there anyone else out there who loves this match?
Triple H hits Mick with the Pedigree for the win at 19:24
****1/4
The Rock vs Ken Shamrock – KOTR Finals [1998]
I didn’t expect much out this one, but I really enjoyed it. The Rock proves just as much that he’s the man, getting a damn great match out of Ken Shamrock. It’s a meat & potatoes type of match, that’s delivered with a clean finish. Worth your time.
The Rock taps out to the ankle-lock at 14:09
***1/2
The Undertaker vs Mankind – Hell in a Cell
Has a year gone by where the WWE hasn’t released a DVD with this match on it? I mean, there’s at least 5-6 DVDs with this. Funny thing is, I usually watch it with every DVD I get that has it, and my opinion of it always improves. I hate the first spot because of what a waste of time it is, it just eats up the minutes, and I get so sick of the replay. Anyways, it turns into a real war, and they take what would be a 20-30 minute hardcore match and cram in all the greatest hits.
The Undertaker gets the pin with the Tombstone at 16:01
***** for history and such, **** for the actual match.
DISC THREE
The Undertaker vs The Rock – WWE Championship Match
There’s not much to say about this match, honestly. Undertaker was doing his super-evil gimmick here, which produced a run of matches nearly as bad as Biker-Taker, and this is no bright shining star. Taker punches out the ref right when the bell rings for absolutely no reason. I believe everyone knew that things weren’t working with ‘Taker, because he dropped the title on Raw the next night.
Undertaker gets the tombstone on The Rock for the pin at 19:10
*1/2
Triple H, Vince & Shane McMahon vs The Rock, Undertaker & Kane – 6 Man Tag For the WWE Championship
The 2000’s was probably the greatest year of high quality wrestling ever, as far as the WWE was concerned. Starting at Royal Rumble 2000, they started on an awesome streak of incredible PPVs that ended with King of the Ring. Sure, WM2000 wasn’t a huge success, but it had the awesome triangle-ladder match, and the Kurt v Jericho v Benoit bout. That’s more than KOTR2000 had, and the main event here is in no way a saving grace. There’s not much to say here about the match, because it runs 20 minutes, has Vince McMahon, and doesn’t flow at all. Don’t bother with this at all.
Rock Bottom to Vince allows Rock to get the pin at 18:55
*
Rikishi vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2000]
This match is about 5 minutes, and it’s Kurt just taking everyone on home to the finish-line that we all saw coming miles away.
Kurt nails Rikishi with the superplex and the pin at 5:00
*
Jeff Hardy vs X-Pac – Light Heavyweight Championship Match
They’re kind of reaching here on the 3rd disc, but I guess it’s always nice to be reminded of one of the 12 times they tried to have a Lightweight title. There’s nothing wrong with this match, and I think if they got an extra 5 minutes they could have produced a pretty decent match. But then that might have helped elevate the title, so, no. The blown spot is a pretty bad one, and both guys seem kinda out of it afterward.
Jeff hits the Swanton at 7:12
**1/4
Edge vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2001]
Ah, now we’re talking. Kurt extended his hand in friendship, and asks Edge to bow-out so Kurt can rest up for his show-stealing match with Shane later. Edge gives it some thought, but opts not too. This is a great match,. and it’s no surprise because Edge & Kurt always had chemistry.
Kurt eats the Impaler for the pin at 10:22
***1/4
Kurt Angle vs Shane McMahon – Street Fight
Oooh man. This match was the big reason for me buying this DVD. This match is absolutely incredible, and to my amazement doesn’t get love from everyone. How? I have no idea. These guys go full tilt for almost a half and hour, and they both show what passion they have for putting on a great show. According to Kurt from his RF Shoot, someone ordered the wrong kind of glass, and what they ended up with was the absolute worst kind of material they could be crashing through. Once the glass didn’t break, Shane didn’t have to go for it again, but he did. When it came to the 2nd glass pane, knowing that he’d been cut to hell the first time around, he could have vetoed going through it, but he didn’t. Then when TWO suplexes didn’t do it, he didn’t have to get thrown through it head first, but he did. This match is absolutely incredible, and I’m shocked it didn’t get Match of the Year for 2001.
Kurt gives Shane the Angle Slam from the top rope for the pin at 26:01
*****
Brock Lesnar vs RVD – KOTR Finals [2002]
Brock was on the war path, and the winner here got a shot at the WWE Championship at the upcoming SummerSlam. I can’t imagine anyone had RVD for the win. A typical Raw match with no real high-light.
Brock gets the F5 on RVD for the pin at 5:56
**
Kurt Angle vs Hulk Hogan
I know a lot of people don’t like Hogan, but for my money, when he was in the ring with an awesome worker they could have a hell of a match, see Jericho’s DVD for proof. I didn’t know Kurt was during his wig period for this match, and busted a gut. Hands down, that’s the funniest thing any wrestler has ever done. It’s absolutely hilarious, and one of the reasons why heel Kurt was my all time favorite bad-guy. Kurt carries Hogan to one of the better matches of his 2nd WWE run, and Hogan even taps to the Ankle-Lock which is absolutely amazing. That’d be like seeing Cena tap.
Kurt Angle gets Hogan to tap to the Ankle-Lock at 12:06
***1/4
Booker T vs Bobby Lashley – KOTR Finals [2006]
After 2002, the KOTR gimmick was dead. No one really missed it, because of how pointless it had become. But I think they had a plan with this, so it all makes sense. Booker is able to take the rather green Lashley, and carry him to a very watchable match. The last few minutes really get the match going, and makes you wish they would have kept it going.
Booker T with the axe kick and the pin at 9:12
***
CM Punk vs William Regal – KOTR Finals [2008]
There was no real reason to bring back KOTR, but if they actually put some stock into William as a heel, he could have done some real damage. Punk took out Henry & Jericho, while Regal passed Hornswaggle & Finlay. They don’t give this match much time, thus showing us just how much we should really care.
Regal scores the win at 4:04
**
John Morrison vs Sheamus – KOTR Finals [2010]
It’s an absolute shame that these guys didn’t have a big feud, because they have a crazy chemistry. This match is fantastic. Sheamus comes out there as the brute that he is, and works the hell out of John’s arm & shoulder. Right when you think that there’s no hope for Morrison, he’ll do something to get the best of Sheamus, and help turn the tides. You really felt like this could go either way, and if they were given 5-10 more minutes, they could have broken 4 stars, no problem at all. Also, I still stand that Starship Pain is probably the lamest finisher of all time.
Sheamus hits the High-Cross on John for the pin at 8:32
***1/2
Last Word: This is a fantastic set. They cover the King of the Ring in a exhaustive manner, and give us all the gems. Thankfully they didn’t feel the need to give us coverage of King Ass, or King Mabel. Although to be honest, I would have liked a look back at King Mabel, simply for how atrocious of a decision it was. I would definitely give this set a recommendation. All in all, as a set it gets ****1/2.
Tryout #2: Marion Cobretti
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
The Cobra Kai Review of The Best of the King of the Ring
by Marion Cobretti
The set is hosted by King Bookah. I wasn’t into wrestling so much during the days of King Bookah, but from what I’ve seen, he’s damn entertaining. Plus, Booker can wrestle well when he wants to.
Bret Hart vs Bam Bam Bigelow – King of the Ring Finals [1993]
I’ve often thought that King of the Ring 1993 was the greatest example of ‘out with the old, in with the new’ that we’d ever see in wrestling. Hulk Hogan comes out, wrestles his last match with the WWE for almost 10 years, and gives us absolutely nothing new. Bret Hart comes in, wrestles three different matches, that were all fantastic and shows us that he’s best in the world at this point. This is a great big-man v underdog type of match, and Bret puts the icing on the cake that was an incredible night for him.
Bret Hart wins with the Owen Hart style roll-up from WMX at 18:11
***3/4
Hulk Hogan [C] vs Yokozuna – WWE Title Match
From that same night, we get the polar opposite of Bret’s performance. It’s exactly what you’d expect. The oddest looking photographer EVER uses the exploding flash-bulb and blinds The Hulkster. Yoko takes advantage, drops the leg, and we get the three count. Everyone always references the guy there dressed like Hulk Hogan, and you know where you see him next? Front row at Bash of the Beach 1994. Who is this guy, by the way? I always saw him, and he was always dressed like Hulk, and he’s always been a question mark. Why isn’t he present in the IWC? Anyways, there’s nothing memorable about this match other than the previous mentioned aspects. I understand it’s inclusion.
Yoko drops the leg for the win at 13:09
**
Owen Hart vs Razor Ramon – KOTR Finals [1994]
For the second year in a row, Razor loses out to a Hart. This match wasn’t much, but it’s nice to see Owen win, because he was always so humble. I can’t be the only one who during
his mark days, would become very mad at Razor for trying the Razor’s Edge so close to the ropes, can I? I mean, c’mon Razor, don’t you learn from your mistakes?! 1994 was the year of Owen. Well, in terms of having awesome, awesome matches. Also, I’m a bit bummed we didn’t get the classic Piper v Lawler that followed this.
Owen drops a top rope elbow for the win at 6:35
**
Bret Hart vs Jerry “The King” Lawler – Kiss My Foot Match
This was basically the cap on their feud that had been going on for about 2 years now. Why it couldn’t be a decent match, is beyond me. But the stipulation here works to Lawler’s character, because having him do whatever he could to make his foot disgusting works perfectly. Also, how does a gross foot lead to a tooth problem? But then again, why would Lawler go to his dentist to solve his problems in the ring.
Bret rocks the Sharpshooter for the win at 9:20
*
Goldust [C] vs Ahmed Johnson – Intercontinental Title Match
If Ahmed wasn’t always hurting people, he could have really gone on to big things. But, I suppose getting the rights to the letter “T” and playing Suge Knight in Too Legit: The MC Hammer Story is a pretty good consolation prize. This match goes on about 5-6 minutes too long, but other than that, nothing too much to complain about. Goldust’s The Kiss That Don’t Miss ended up working like Macho Man’s Hulkster Reviving Elbow as Ahmed scores the IC title.
Pearl River Plunge gets the pin at 15:34
**
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Jake The Snake Roberts – KOTR Finals [1996]
We all know why this is included. Did anybody watching this even think for a second that Jake was going to win? Man, was his “reborn” gimmick boring beyond belief. He should
have just gone to ECW as the classic Snake and feuded with Raven. Man would that have been one of the all time great feuds. Perhaps it’s just me, but I prefer the Stunner when Stone Cold doesn’t include the kick. It just seems a little more brutal. This does include the speech.
Stone Cold Stunner for the win at 4:28
**
DISC TWO
Shawn Michaels [C] vs. British Bulldog – WWE Championship Match
This was your typical bout where Shawn was in his prime and having great matches with anyone and anything.The match at Beware of Dog ended in a double pin, thus setting up this bout, which ends in interference. I don’t understand the need to protect Bulldog again, and I’m astonished that Shawn didn’t have it vetoed, and the match was then that Bulldog got to be inside Truckosaurus, but Shawn still beat The British Truckosaurus with a superkick & Kerry Von Erich’s false foot. Anyways, this match is a perfectly fine that isn’t as great as Beware of Dog, but gets the job done.
Tons of interference gets the bell at 26:25
***3/4
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels
I don’t recall why they were having this match, but I do remember the absolutely fantastic tag-match where they beat Bulldog & Owen on Raw. Man, was 97 great. Either way, this match is all sorts of awesome. I wish they would have had an actual finish, but I suppose the need to keep both strong makes sense. I love that the mentally challenged kid just loves Shawn so much, that he’ll do anything to get to Stone Cold. This kid just man-handles security.
Ref calls for a no-decision at 23:01
****1/4
Triple H vs Mankind – KOTR Finals [1997]
I don’t get it. Do I have some sorta special eyes that creates some sorta They Live scenario when I watch this match? Most people don’t give this bout the time of day, but I LOVE IT. It’s absolutely fantastic and one of the most under-rated matches of all time, I think. The crowd wasn’t into this until the last 3rd of it, and I don’t understand their apathy either. This match just kept building and building, it’s incredible. Is there anyone else out there who loves this match?
Triple H hits Mick with the Pedigree for the win at 19:24
****1/4
The Rock vs Ken Shamrock – KOTR Finals [1998]
I didn’t expect much out this one, but I really enjoyed it. The Rock proves just as much that he’s the man, getting a damn great match out of Ken Shamrock. It’s a meat & potatoes type of match, that’s delivered with a clean finish. Worth your time.
The Rock taps out to the ankle-lock at 14:09
***1/2
The Undertaker vs Mankind – Hell in a Cell
Has a year gone by where the WWE hasn’t released a DVD with this match on it? I mean, there’s at least 5-6 DVDs with this. Funny thing is, I usually watch it with every DVD I get that has it, and my opinion of it always improves. I hate the first spot because of what a waste of time it is, it just eats up the minutes, and I get so sick of the replay. Anyways, it turns into a real war, and they take what would be a 20-30 minute hardcore match and cram in all the greatest hits.
The Undertaker gets the pin with the Tombstone at 16:01
***** for history and such, **** for the actual match.
DISC THREE
The Undertaker vs The Rock – WWE Championship Match
There’s not much to say about this match, honestly. Undertaker was doing his super-evil gimmick here, which produced a run of matches nearly as bad as Biker-Taker, and this is no bright shining star. Taker punches out the ref right when the bell rings for absolutely no reason. I believe everyone knew that things weren’t working with ‘Taker, because he dropped the title on Raw the next night.
Undertaker gets the tombstone on The Rock for the pin at 19:10
*1/2
Triple H, Vince & Shane McMahon vs The Rock, Undertaker & Kane – 6 Man Tag For the WWE Championship
The 2000’s was probably the greatest year of high quality wrestling ever, as far as the WWE was concerned. Starting at Royal Rumble 2000, they started on an awesome streak of incredible PPVs that ended with King of the Ring. Sure, WM2000 wasn’t a huge success, but it had the awesome triangle-ladder match, and the Kurt v Jericho v Benoit bout. That’s more than KOTR2000 had, and the main event here is in no way a saving grace. There’s not much to say here about the match, because it runs 20 minutes, has Vince McMahon, and doesn’t flow at all. Don’t bother with this at all.
Rock Bottom to Vince allows Rock to get the pin at 18:55
*
Rikishi vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2000]
This match is about 5 minutes, and it’s Kurt just taking everyone on home to the finish-line that we all saw coming miles away.
Kurt nails Rikishi with the superplex and the pin at 5:00
*
Jeff Hardy vs X-Pac – Light Heavyweight Championship Match
They’re kind of reaching here on the 3rd disc, but I guess it’s always nice to be reminded of one of the 12 times they tried to have a Lightweight title. There’s nothing wrong with this match, and I think if they got an extra 5 minutes they could have produced a pretty decent match. But then that might have helped elevate the title, so, no. The blown spot is a pretty bad one, and both guys seem kinda out of it afterward.
Jeff hits the Swanton at 7:12
**1/4
Edge vs Kurt Angle – KOTR Finals [2001]
Ah, now we’re talking. Kurt extended his hand in friendship, and asks Edge to bow-out so Kurt can rest up for his show-stealing match with Shane later. Edge gives it some thought, but opts not too. This is a great match,. and it’s no surprise because Edge & Kurt always had chemistry.
Kurt eats the Impaler for the pin at 10:22
***1/4
Kurt Angle vs Shane McMahon – Street Fight
Oooh man. This match was the big reason for me buying this DVD. This match is absolutely incredible, and to my amazement doesn’t get love from everyone. How? I have no idea. These guys go full tilt for almost a half and hour, and they both show what passion they have for putting on a great show. According to Kurt from his RF Shoot, someone ordered the wrong kind of glass, and what they ended up with was the absolute worst kind of material they could be crashing through. Once the glass didn’t break, Shane didn’t have to go for it again, but he did. When it came to the 2nd glass pane, knowing that he’d been cut to hell the first time around, he could have vetoed going through it, but he didn’t. Then when TWO suplexes didn’t do it, he didn’t have to get thrown through it head first, but he did. This match is absolutely incredible, and I’m shocked it didn’t get Match of the Year for 2001.
Kurt gives Shane the Angle Slam from the top rope for the pin at 26:01
*****
Brock Lesnar vs RVD – KOTR Finals [2002]
Brock was on the war path, and the winner here got a shot at the WWE Championship at the upcoming SummerSlam. I can’t imagine anyone had RVD for the win. A typical Raw match with no real high-light.
Brock gets the F5 on RVD for the pin at 5:56
**
Kurt Angle vs Hulk Hogan
I know a lot of people don’t like Hogan, but for my money, when he was in the ring with an awesome worker they could have a hell of a match, see Jericho’s DVD for proof. I didn’t know Kurt was during his wig period for this match, and busted a gut. Hands down, that’s the funniest thing any wrestler has ever done. It’s absolutely hilarious, and one of the reasons why heel Kurt was my all time favorite bad-guy. Kurt carries Hogan to one of the better matches of his 2nd WWE run, and Hogan even taps to the Ankle-Lock which is absolutely amazing. That’d be like seeing Cena tap.
Kurt Angle gets Hogan to tap to the Ankle-Lock at 12:06
***1/4
Booker T vs Bobby Lashley – KOTR Finals [2006]
After 2002, the KOTR gimmick was dead. No one really missed it, because of how pointless it had become. But I think they had a plan with this, so it all makes sense. Booker is able to take the rather green Lashley, and carry him to a very watchable match. The last few minutes really get the match going, and makes you wish they would have kept it going.
Booker T with the axe kick and the pin at 9:12
***
CM Punk vs William Regal – KOTR Finals [2008]
There was no real reason to bring back KOTR, but if they actually put some stock into William as a heel, he could have done some real damage. Punk took out Henry & Jericho, while Regal passed Hornswaggle & Finlay. They don’t give this match much time, thus showing us just how much we should really care.
Regal scores the win at 4:04
**
John Morrison vs Sheamus – KOTR Finals [2010]
It’s an absolute shame that these guys didn’t have a big feud, because they have a crazy chemistry. This match is fantastic. Sheamus comes out there as the brute that he is, and works the hell out of John’s arm & shoulder. Right when you think that there’s no hope for Morrison, he’ll do something to get the best of Sheamus, and help turn the tides. You really felt like this could go either way, and if they were given 5-10 more minutes, they could have broken 4 stars, no problem at all. Also, I still stand that Starship Pain is probably the lamest finisher of all time.
Sheamus hits the High-Cross on John for the pin at 8:32
***1/2
Last Word: This is a fantastic set. They cover the King of the Ring in a exhaustive manner, and give us all the gems. Thankfully they didn’t feel the need to give us coverage of King Ass, or King Mabel. Although to be honest, I would have liked a look back at King Mabel, simply for how atrocious of a decision it was. I would definitely give this set a recommendation. All in all, as a set it gets ****1/2.
John Cena Reaction Map
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
Hi Scott, hope you are well. If this isn’t something that could sell on a T-shirt, I don’t know what could. http://www.411mania.com/siteimages/cenamap_130417.jpg Now let the Dogs of Discussion loose!;) Take care.
I don’t know if it’s fair to say that entire STATES cheer or boo him, but that’s a pretty cool map done by the Score.
John Cena Reaction Map
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
Hi Scott, hope you are well. If this isn’t something that could sell on a T-shirt, I don’t know what could. http://www.411mania.com/siteimages/cenamap_130417.jpg Now let the Dogs of Discussion loose!;) Take care.
I don’t know if it’s fair to say that entire STATES cheer or boo him, but that’s a pretty cool map done by the Score.
John Cena Reaction Map
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
Hi Scott, hope you are well. If this isn’t something that could sell on a T-shirt, I don’t know what could. http://www.411mania.com/siteimages/cenamap_130417.jpg Now let the Dogs of Discussion loose!;) Take care.
I don’t know if it’s fair to say that entire STATES cheer or boo him, but that’s a pretty cool map done by the Score.
John Cena Reaction Map
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
Hi Scott, hope you are well. If this isn’t something that could sell on a T-shirt, I don’t know what could. http://www.411mania.com/siteimages/cenamap_130417.jpg Now let the Dogs of Discussion loose!;) Take care.
I don’t know if it’s fair to say that entire STATES cheer or boo him, but that’s a pretty cool map done by the Score.
John Cena Reaction Map
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
Hi Scott, hope you are well. If this isn’t something that could sell on a T-shirt, I don’t know what could. http://www.411mania.com/siteimages/cenamap_130417.jpg Now let the Dogs of Discussion loose!;) Take care.
I don’t know if it’s fair to say that entire STATES cheer or boo him, but that’s a pretty cool map done by the Score.
MMA Awards Plug
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
Hey Scott! Hope the New Year is treating you and your family well. I’m really enjoying the Royal Rumble Rants, by the way. They’re bringing back a lot of memories.
I was hoping you would help me out by posting a link to The Ultimate Fight Show’s 2011 MMA Awards Ballot.
http://www.kwiksurveys.com?s=OCIENN_3f4c6d03
Please take a few moments to cast your vote for your favorites.
And don’t forget to tune in to this weekend’s edition of The Ultimate Fight Show to hear the results.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/theultimatefightshow/2012/01/14/the-ultimate-fight-show
Thanks for all the support!
Speaking of which, did you know there’s a UFC PPV this weekend? Like, I’m a pretty hardcore UFC fan compared to the general public, and I had ZERO idea that UFC Rio was coming up on Saturday. That’s a sign they’ve got too many shows. Granted Jose Aldo on top and Belfort v. Rumble as the semi-main isn’t exactly going to set the PPV world on fire, but you’d think they would have put out some commercials or SOMETHING. Even the UFC app on Xbox only has one quick “trailer” for the show and the rest is still about UFC 141.
MMA Awards Plug
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
Hey Scott! Hope the New Year is treating you and your family well. I’m really enjoying the Royal Rumble Rants, by the way. They’re bringing back a lot of memories.
I was hoping you would help me out by posting a link to The Ultimate Fight Show’s 2011 MMA Awards Ballot.
http://www.kwiksurveys.com?s=OCIENN_3f4c6d03
Please take a few moments to cast your vote for your favorites.
And don’t forget to tune in to this weekend’s edition of The Ultimate Fight Show to hear the results.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/theultimatefightshow/2012/01/14/the-ultimate-fight-show
Thanks for all the support!
Speaking of which, did you know there’s a UFC PPV this weekend? Like, I’m a pretty hardcore UFC fan compared to the general public, and I had ZERO idea that UFC Rio was coming up on Saturday. That’s a sign they’ve got too many shows. Granted Jose Aldo on top and Belfort v. Rumble as the semi-main isn’t exactly going to set the PPV world on fire, but you’d think they would have put out some commercials or SOMETHING. Even the UFC app on Xbox only has one quick “trailer” for the show and the rest is still about UFC 141.
MMA Awards Plug
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
Hey Scott! Hope the New Year is treating you and your family well. I’m really enjoying the Royal Rumble Rants, by the way. They’re bringing back a lot of memories.
I was hoping you would help me out by posting a link to The Ultimate Fight Show’s 2011 MMA Awards Ballot.
http://www.kwiksurveys.com?s=OCIENN_3f4c6d03
Please take a few moments to cast your vote for your favorites.
And don’t forget to tune in to this weekend’s edition of The Ultimate Fight Show to hear the results.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/theultimatefightshow/2012/01/14/the-ultimate-fight-show
Thanks for all the support!
Speaking of which, did you know there’s a UFC PPV this weekend? Like, I’m a pretty hardcore UFC fan compared to the general public, and I had ZERO idea that UFC Rio was coming up on Saturday. That’s a sign they’ve got too many shows. Granted Jose Aldo on top and Belfort v. Rumble as the semi-main isn’t exactly going to set the PPV world on fire, but you’d think they would have put out some commercials or SOMETHING. Even the UFC app on Xbox only has one quick “trailer” for the show and the rest is still about UFC 141.
MMA Awards Plug
11th January 2012 by Scott Keith
Hey Scott! Hope the New Year is treating you and your family well. I’m really enjoying the Royal Rumble Rants, by the way. They’re bringing back a lot of memories.
I was hoping you would help me out by posting a link to The Ultimate Fight Show’s 2011 MMA Awards Ballot.
http://www.kwiksurveys.com?s=OCIENN_3f4c6d03
Please take a few moments to cast your vote for your favorites.
And don’t forget to tune in to this weekend’s edition of The Ultimate Fight Show to hear the results.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/theultimatefightshow/2012/01/14/the-ultimate-fight-show
Thanks for all the support!
Speaking of which, did you know there’s a UFC PPV this weekend? Like, I’m a pretty hardcore UFC fan compared to the general public, and I had ZERO idea that UFC Rio was coming up on Saturday. That’s a sign they’ve got too many shows. Granted Jose Aldo on top and Belfort v. Rumble as the semi-main isn’t exactly going to set the PPV world on fire, but you’d think they would have put out some commercials or SOMETHING. Even the UFC app on Xbox only has one quick “trailer” for the show and the rest is still about UFC 141.