The Princess Rant

This episode is titled: “The Plane Ride from Hell”

Oh boy…Been really sandbagging on this one for a few days.

“When you have an open bar and you’re sitting there for seven hours, of course these things are going to happen.” — Tommy Dreamer justifying everything.

“If I never talked about the f****** plane ride from hell again in my life, I would be very happy.” — Jim Ross

By the early 2000s the WWF was swimming in the cash and Vince McMahon buys up the wrestling industry. Then they went to Europe and things were never the same.

This episode is titled “In The Shadow of Grizzly Smith”

“Decades later the Smith family finally face their haunted past in order to survive beyond the ring.”

This episode is titled “Collision in Korea”

“In 1995 a group of professional wrestlers were deployed to communist rule North Korea to partake in one of the most bizarre diplomatic missions even conceived.”

This double-episode is simply titled: “Brian Pillman”

My first thoughts of Brian Pillman were just that he could go. He was exciting and unique. He was generally promoted as a cruiserweight and he was a guy that performed above the canvas, but he also physically looked good and had enough credibility to have great matches against bigger guys like Lex Luger. Those matches against the Lugers and Tom Zenks of the world were terrific and they often get overlooked because the matches against Jushin “Thunder” Liger were so amazing. Pillman was a guy that I felt like could have a good match with anyone. He was a good promo, believable as a face or a heel.

Gotta at least get this one in before the Road Warrior Hawk one tonight.

This episode is titled: Cocaine and Cowboy Boots: The Herb Abrams Story

Chris Jericho is YOUR narrator.

All right I am skipping Dino Bravo for now. I just can’t get through it. The first 20 minutes of people describing him like he was the wrestling equivalent of Rocket Richard to the people of Montreal puts me to sleep.

So we’ll get back to it at a date TBD.

Anyway I know I won’t be bored with this week’s episode that will take a deep dive into Dr. D David Schultz and his slap down of long time broadcast journalist John Stossel. Schultz is one of the legendary tough guys and nutcases in the business and an amazing promo. I would put his ability to talk shit up there with any of the greats. His style has been compared to what you heard out of Steve Austin during the earlier, more unhinged phase of “Stone Cold” as compared to the slogan and tagline guy he would become later. He has a tremendous raspy voice, perfect for pro wrestling.

https://youtu.be/fzYpXGu1Y-w

This episode is titled “Jimmy Snuka and the death of Nancy Argentino”

Chris Jericho is your narrator. He describes Snuka as a “man fans loved more than anyone”.

This episode is titled “The Brawl For All”

The narrator (Chris Jericho) describes Brawl 4 All “wrestling’s worst idea ever”

This Episode is titled “The Life and Crimes of New Jack”

Might as well do this and move on.

First things first: Because of the change in Wrestlemania plans I’m guessing we’ll just do a thread for each night rather than the hourly threads we’ve done in the past.

Anyway, on to the show.

The first episode of the second season is a two-hour one on the Benoit murders.

The episode opens with Chris’ son, David, talking about his father and said that he looked up to the Dynamite Kid and that’s what got him into wrestling and that’s who he wanted to be.

EXTRA NOTE: For the BoD member that asked about my Wrestlemania refunds. Our tickets to Hall of Fame and Friday Night Smackdown were comped so no lost there. TakeOver and Wrestlemania tickets were bought through Ticketmaster and we got the email about a refund a while back, it’s a 30-day refund time from time of cancelation. So our money should be returned pretty shortly.

This is the final edition of the six-part series “Dark Side of the Ring” by Viceland network, It’s the most watched show in the history of the network and they are doing an “Extended Cut” of the first six shows and I believe they have officially green lit a second season.

This episode focuses on the career of The Fabulous Moolah.

And sometimes the things you have the least of expectations for yield the highest results.

This is the fifth episode in the six-part series “Dark Side of the Ring” on Viceland network. This episode focused on the mysterious death of Texas wrestling star Gino Hernandez.

This is the fourth episode in a six-part series “Dark Side of the Ring” on Viceland. Apparently the numbers for wrestling-related programs have been good because Vice is debuting “The Wrestlers” on May 22 and an extended-cut version of “Dark Side”

https://www.prowrestling.com/viceland-set-to-premiere-the-wrestlers-extended-cut-of-dark-side-of-the-ring/

Anyhoo, this episode is on the deaths in the von Erich family. I’ll zip through this one pretty quickly because there’s not a ton of new information from it.

This is the third episode of the six-part series “Dark Side of the Ring” on Vice Network. This episode focuses on the killing of Bruiser Brody.

This is the second episode of the six-part series “Dark Side of the Ring” on Vice Network. This is on the Montreal Screwjob from the 1997 Survivor Series.

FWIW I wanted to gloss over this because it’s been talked about ad nauseam but for the sake of continuity, and to get to the amazing third episode it was time to bite the bullet.

And yes the third episode, the Killing of Bruiser Brody, was everything I wanted and more. It blew me away. This one, not so much.

I was ready to re-start late 2015 NXT since the Wrestlemania bump was done and this falls into my lap.

“Dark Side of the Ring” is a six-part series that’s on Viceland here in the states. It focuses on some of the tragedies around wrestling. The first episode is “The Match Made in Heaven” and it focuses on the relationship with Randy “Macho Man” Savage and Elizabeth.

Enjoy and discuss among yourselves if you so desire.

The Allied Powers vs. Eli and Jacob Blu

Wow what a fall from grace for Lex Luger. He cheap shots Bret Hart before
Wrestlemania IX, is part of the double main event at Wrestlemania X and now is part of a heatless opening tag match at Wrestlemania XI. Meanwhile Dutch Mantel
(playing the role of Uncle Zebediah tonight) is a hot heel managerial act 20
years later. Go figure. Neither Lex nor Davey Boy gave two shits about this tag
arrangement and it shows. They do some power stuff and then the Blu Brothers
take over and pull some switcheroos and do some stuff.  Finally Eli or Jacob (or Ron or Don) miss a
flying elbow. Hot tag to Luger and he does all his power stuff (Clotheslines
and powerslams). He hits the bionic forearm but the brothers do another switch.
They go for a piledriver on Luger back when those things were legal but Luger
makes the blind tag to Davey Boy, who comes off the top with a sunset flip and
gets the three count. Yikes

(Allied Powers def. Blu Bros., pinfall, *, below average power tag match. Had
the Allied Powers actually gotten the push they needed that led to the eventual
breakup I believe that there might have been money in DBS-Luger feud.)

JR, shunted from announcing duties, interviews Uncle Zeb and it’s silly.

Vince goes to Nicolas Turturro, from New York Undercover or NYPD Blue or
something, who tries to interview King Kong Bundy and a few others but his mic
isn’t working.

Super hilarious interview with Razor Ramon and the 1-2-3 Kid with Waltman has
this super stare at the camera. This has to be seen to be appreciated.

Intercontinental Championship: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett was the champion here, after beating Ramon at the Royal Rumble with
assistance from the Roadie. Hence Razor is seconded by the Kid, who is dressed
like a member of the Cobra Kai in what had to be a rib or a dare or something. Meanwhile
Razor’s vest looks like he bought it at a second hand store. These guys were
great. By the way twenty years later, the Roadie is on the Wrestlemania card.
Who would have guessed? Razor damn near trucks a HORDE of ringside media there
for Lawrence Taylor and jumps on Jarrett immediately and eventually dumping him
to the floor with a clothesline. Jarrett uses trickery to take control but
falters on a second rope sunset flip. More heel miscommunication as Jarrett
bangs into the Roadie for a two count. Razor goes for the Edge but the Roadie
saves him. So Jarrett and Roadie decide to take a walk but Kid cuts them off
and sends Jarrett back into the ring. Razor with a rollup for two.  Jarrett goes to the eyes but misses a sit
down splash. Razor sends the Roadie into the post and Jarrett follows behind
when he is dumped over the top. Jarrett back in the ring and he catches Razor
with a neckbreaker and two dropkicks. Finally the sit down splash works for
Jarrett and then he sends Razor into the corner hard. Enziguri misses but Razor
misses an elbow and Jarrett covers for two. Side elbow by Jarrett gets two and
Jarrett goes for the chinlock to extend the heat segment. Razor quickly fights
out and gets a backslide for two. Jarrett with a clothesline for two. They try
a slugfest that Razor wins but Jarrett goes to the sleeper. Razor escapes but
Jarrett with a head smasher for two. Back to the chinlock for Jarrett. Razor
fights out again and they knock heads after a rope sequence. They both get up
at six and connect with roundhouse rights at the same time for another double
knockout. Razor gets the groggy cover for two. Another slugfest that Razor
wins. Jarrett goes for a high cross body but Razor catches him with a fall away
slam. Razor tries to distract the ref for the Kid to interfere but Jarrett foils
it and Razor misses a middle rope elbow. Knee breaker from Jarrett and it’s
figure four time. Jarrett gets a couple of two counts and some assistance from
the Roadie but despite it all Razor fights out and reverses the hold. And then
the kid gives Razor some assistance in a funny bit. Both guys are worse for
wear and Razor is really selling the knee. Second rope backdrop suplex from
Razor but he can’t capitalize with the cover. Despite barely being able to walk
Razor goes for the Edge and of course Roadie comes in and clips his knee again
for the disqualification. The Kid comes and does his usually shit that gets a
rise out of the crowd but Jarrett pancakes him and puts him in the figure four.
Razor makes the save and we’ve got a pretty wild brawl actually.

(Ramon def. Jarrett, disqualification, ***1/2, I thought this was a hell of a
match with some good near falls and a great pace, especially for a Jarrett
match.)

Ross argues with Jarrett afterwards. Jarrett has a bloody nose.

Nicolas Turturro is hanging out with the Corporation and Jenny McCarthy and
Shawn Michaels and Sid. And yeah it’s as big of a car wreck as it sounds…and
then a Sid promo takes it beyond that. God bless that guy.

Right to the next match. No bullshit with this Wrestlemania.

King Kong Bundy vs. The Undertaker

Bundy is part of the corporation and they have the urn after IRS repossessed it
at the Royal Rumble. I love that gimmick. Undertaker’s entrance is really
subdued by his standards – just him and Paul Bearer walking to the ring with
the music in the background. No druids. No pageantry outside of the gimmick.

The referee for this match is an American League umpire, Larry Young, in a random
mention. Anyway Bundy tries to jump Undertaker and fails so Undertaker hits him
with old school, which wasn’t Old School at the time. Bundy doesn’t leave his
feet until three clotheslines later, however. Bundy clotheslines Undertaker
over the ropes but he lands on his feet and steals the urn from DiBiase, thus
killing the point of the match. However, DiBiase calls Kama to ringside, who
beats up Bearer and takes it back. He would eventually melt it down and make a
gold chain out of it. Anyway Bundy does some shit, lots of choking and stuff. A
really lazy knee drop gets two and you know that blew Bundy’s fat ass up so he
needed to go to a chin lock. Bundy hits the avalanche. Undertaker no sells it
however, slams Bundy and hits the flying lariat for the pin. This was a year
before Undertaker could have the occasion good match and two and a half years
before he had Bret and Shawn to carry him to some memorable stuff.

(Undertaker def. Bundy, pinfall, ½*, boring as
hell)

Nicolas Turturro looks for Pamela Anderson but can’t find her and wonders what
she’s doing…Instead he runs into Lawrence Taylor’s All-Pros. Seeing the
gone-too-soon Reggie White makes me sad. Next Turturro walks in on Bob Backlund
playing chess with Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

Back to the ring and Owen Hart is walking to ringside. He found himself a
partner and it’s the guy that beat his miserable loser brother Bret and that
man is Yokozuna. Holy shit this was a heck of a surprise at the time I would
assume. The backstage interview with the bumbling Smoking Gunns tells me they
didn’t see it on the booking sheet either. They probably assumed that Yoko was
a sloppy worker after dealing with Mabel but of course Yoko was apparently one
of the safest big men ever.

World Tag Team Championship: Owen Hart & Yokozuna vs. The Smoking Gunns

Owen and Billy start off and get into a slapping contest and then the Gunns go
to the arm. Crowd pops for the Yokozuna tag and he gives Bart a one-armed slam
but misses an elbow. One thing about Yoko, he was well over 500 pounds in this
match but he gets up so quickly from missed moves and has that instant agility.
I was always impressed with the fact that he cut a decent pace. Back to the
match, the Gunns control Owen with a double side Russian legsweep and a double
dropkick that sends Yoko to the floor. Guns do a suplex/reverse neckbreaker
combo. Bart sends Owen into the corner, hard and get a two count. Sidewalk
slam/legdrop combo gets a long two count after Yoko distracts the ref. Owen
makes a blind tag and reverses an irish whip. Drop toe hold leaves Billy prone
for the leg drop and he stumbles to the floor. Hart sends Billy into the post.
Billy tries to win a slugfest against Yoko and fails miserably. Yoko goes to a
nerve hold. Heels try a double team but Owen hits Yoko accidentally with the
missile dropkick. Hot tag to Bart and a press slam to Owen. Head smasher to Yoko
and the Gunns go for a double team but Owen holds the rope to send Bart to the
floor and Yoko catches Billy with the awesome fat belly to belly suplex and the
crowd gives a MASSIVE pop for the Bonzai drop. Owen tags in and thinks about
the sharpshooter but Billy is fucking DEAD so he decides to just pin him
instead.

(Owen/Yokozuna def. Smoking Gunns, pinfall, **, The Gunns were a big, athletic
team that probably would have gotten over if they weren’t saddled with the
cartoonish gimmick. Twenty years later Owen is dead, Yoko is dead, Bart Gunn is
dead as far as the WWE is concerned and Billy Gunn is on the card. Who would
have guessed?)

Todd Pettengil talks to Bam Bam Bigelow. Yep

Submission Match: Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

Normally I don’t feel bad for worldwide mainstream star Bret Hart but this
seems about as low as it gets given he closed the show the year before. Hell
didn’t turn out well for any of the three main eventers did it? Oh well at
least now I know why that entire horde of media is at ringside.  Special guest referee is Rowdy Roddy Piper.

Hart pounds away with punches and a couple of headbutts. He goes for the
sharpshooter but Backlund avoids it. Hart with an elbow drop and a pretty
advanced rope choke on Backlund. They go to the floor and Hart roughs him up
there. Sharpshooter #2 is foiled by Backlund but the figure four is effective
as Piper is hilariously up in Backlund’s grill “WHADDYA SAY!” Backlund reverses
the hold and Hart makes the ropes. Hart with a single leg grapevine as Piper
does his best to keep the fans entertained. Backlaud rallies but Vince is busy
talking about the WWF Français and WWE Deutschland announcer parings. Backlund
escapes with a stiff leg to the mouth and goes for the crossface but Hart backs
into a corner and Backlund goes after the arm with armbar takedown and then a
hammerlock. A nasty elbow to the much and back to the armbar. If this match is
booked for 30-35 minutes I think this would be pretty damn good but clearly it
isn’t and Backlund’s style doesn’t exactly compress itself for timing. More
solid arm work but Bret slams his way out of it. Side backbreaker from Hart and
the middle rope elbow. Sharpshooter is applied but Backlund gets to the ropes.
Hart with a corner whip and a charge but Backlund escapes the flying shoulder.
Backlund’s deranged look when he’s about to apply the crossface chicken wing is
pretty awesome. Backlund gets the chicken wing but can’t fully apply the
crossface, Hart reverses the hold cleanly and gets him off his feet. After
fighting a little longer Backlund submits to his own hold. The World rejoices!

(Hart def. Backlund, submission, **1/4, they did some nice things and I could
see where they wanted to go but time didn’t allow it to get there. Backlund’s
arm work was solid.)

JR interviews Backlund after the loss, Backlund says he saw the light. Poor JR.

Back to Nicolas Turturro, who can’t find Pamela Anderson. Did someone check
Tommy Lee’s dick? She spent a lot of spare time hanging around that. Just a
suggestion.

Todd Pettengil interviews Diesel. The usual Big Daddy Cool spiel.

Howard Finkel introduces that solid array of D-List celebrities. Jonathan
Taylor Thomas is your guest time keeper. Crowd responds with about as much
excitement as I expect. Nicolas Turturro is your guest ring announcer and to
his credit he seemed tickled to death to be there. I mean if you agree to it
you might as well have fun.

WWF World Heavyweight Championship: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

Shawn has a bubbly Jenny McCarthy and Sid with him. Diesel found Pamela
Anderson, she was on Tommy Lee’s dick like I thought. She looks pretty pissed.
They actually did the glass breaking entrance for Diesel?? Surprising how
everyone remembers when Austin got it two years later but no one remembers it
here. Oh well. Shawn goes for a charge right away and gets sent over the top so
Diesel can bring Anderson in the ring and parade her around. Man she really can’t
even act like she’s excited to be there. Real match starts and Michaels is
moving like a sumbitch. As Nash said in Austin’s podcast that first rope
sequence with Shawn was always going to be a doozy because of his movement and
it was, I counted four reversals and three ducks before Diesel clobbers him.
Michaels goes to the arm but Diesel launches him across the ring then gives him
a huge back body drop. Diesel sends Michaels over the turnbuckle again and onto
a cameraman, who Shawn kindly dragged away from the ring. Michaels goes after
Diesel in the corner but gets rejected with an elbow. Shawn avoids a press slam
and goes for a suplex. Bad idea as that gets reversed and a knee lift sends him
to the floor. Diesel looks to capitalize but Shawn goes to the eyes. A sunset
flip attempt is thwarted as my feed messes up a little. Diesel misses a big
boot and Michaels clotheslines him over the top. Michaels goes to the air and
hits a high cross body to the floor. Baseball slide hits square in the mouth.
Second time misses and Michaels is introduced to the mat. He shoves the
cameramen out of the way so they could do a spot on the post with Diesel
missing an elbow. Crowd starts huge “Sid” chant making him the most over guy in
the match. Shawn keeps Diesel on the floor and hits a splash from the ring
apron. Well Shawn is trying to get them to stop chanting Sid. Ok WWE Network,
why is this feed so fucked up? It seriously just froze? Are you kidding me? Don’t
make me go to YouTube. I will do it. Diesel is in bad shape with his ribs while
Sid creeps toward the champion before the ref stops him. Diesel back in the
ring and Michaels starts working on the ribs and the knee. Multitasking at its
finest. Michaels back to the top and hits a bulldog for two. Diesel reverses a
corner whip but Michaels hits a springboard back elbow for two as the crowd is
starting to appreciate his effort and a “Let’s Go Shawn” chant begins. Michaels
uses the knee on Diesel’s ribs and then hits the big elbow for two. Damn he is
putting it all out there for the people. Diesel escapes a front face lock with
power so Shawn hits a running elbow. Diesel tries the rally but Shawn slaps on
the sleeper to slow him down. After a minute or so Diesel gets to his feet and
backs Michaels into the corner. Corner clothesline and a second one from the
champ. He hits the snake eyes and the sit down splash and then sends Michaels
to the floor. They fight on the outside for a bit. Back in the ring and Diesel
pounds away so Michaels escapes again. Fighting on the floor and the official
twists his ankle coming out to the floor to keep Sid away. Sweet chin music hits
Diesel solid back in the ring but Hebner struggles to get in the ring and it
just gets a two count. Sid removes the padding of a turnbuckle but Diesel gets
a backdrop suplex. Still Michaels is first to gain consciousness and covers for
two. Michaels goes to the ropes for something but Diesel catches him and hits a
sidewalk slam. Diesel catapults Shawn into the buckle but not the exposed top
turnbuckle, the center one. Diesel finally hits the massive boot and a horrible
jackknife that damn near broke Shawn’s leg gets the three count. Great match!

(Diesel def. Michaels, pinfall, ****, wasn’t the most memorable match for
either guy but still amazingly good stuff from a fully healthy Shawn Michaels
and Nash back when he was motivated to be somebody.)

Post-match Sid tells JR it ain’t over while Diesel celebrates with the
D-listers.

Whoever uploaded this card to the Network server needs to be fired.

A second post-match interview with Michaels and Sid and it’s a big whine fest.

The corporation is introduced. It’s Tatanka, Nikolai Volkoff, IRS, Kama, King
Kong Bundy and Ted DiBiase. Not exactly the 1927 Yankees or anything. LT’s
group is Ken Norton Jr., Chris Spielman (who my husband says is one of the best
guys around), Rickey Jackson, Carl Banks, Steve McMichael and of course the
late great Minister of Defense, Reggie White. They have a little brawl with the
corporation as the crowd finally wakes up with a big LT chant.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor

Wanna hear something odd? They dub over Salt-n-Pepa singing “Whatta Man” with
both the Monday Night Football theme and their generic old school Wrestlemania
music. Why would they have to dub over a LIVE performance? Whatever.

(After many issues with the network feed on my laptop I’m switching to the iPad
to see if it’s any better.)

Pat Patterson is the referee for obvious reasons (in case this becomes a
clusterfuck…by the way iPad feed seems MUCH better FWIW).

LT slaps the shit out of him and hits a massive flying forearm. Clothesline
sends Bigelow over the top and the crowd responds with a little shock. Bigelow
back in the ring and he misses an avalanche, Taylor with a bulldog for two and
a couple of the stiffest forearms you’ll see this side of Japan. He hip tosses
Bigelow to the floor and the two factions congregate out there. Back in the
ring Bigelow starts working over Taylor with completely loose stuff in
comparison and a headbutt. I’m shocked Bigelow wasn’t busted open hardway from
one of those forearms, that shit looked PAINFUL. Taylor is already a little
blown up so Bigelow slams him but misses a falling headbutt. Big clothesline
from Taylor, exploding clothesline but Bigelow intercepts his high cross body
and sends him into the corner. Bigelow stays in control with some basic stuff
and then a Boston crab. I give Bam Bam a lot of credit; he’s working a sensible
match, not doing anything crazy but keeping it dramatic and generating good
babyface heat for Taylor’s comebacks. Bigelow with a knee lock now and Taylor
makes the ropes to break the hold. Modified crossbow from Bigelow as Taylor is
getting a much-needed breather. Taylor with a forearm and then a backdrop
suplex. Bigelow is up first with a double axe and a couple of falling headbutt
into the mid section. Bigelow goes to the top and hits the crossover splash but
he hurts his knee and rolls off of Taylor after the one count. He goes back and
makes a proper cover for two. Irish whip but Bigelow sets too early and Taylor
goes for the powerbomb but smartly feels uncomfortable with the move and falls
back like a gut wrench suplex. He gets two and saves a life (temporarily as it
would turn out). Bigelow with the enziguri for two. More falling headbutts and
Bigelow goes to the top and hits the top rope headbutt for another two. He’s
just killing his finishers tonight. Hope that $100,000 check was worth it!
Taylor back up with forearms and shoulderblocks. He revs up and hits two
thunderous forearms and goes to the middle rope and hits a big forearm to the
temple for the three count. He could teach guys how to throw a proper forearm.

(Taylor def. Bigelow, ***, better than it had any right on earth to be thanks
to the professionalism of Bigelow and whoever taught Taylor how to do things he
would feel comfortable doing.)

Bottom Line: Two three-star matches and a four-star match makes this a
perfectly watchable card. The atmosphere is underwhelming and it feels more like “In Your House: Wrestlemania”
than  Wrestlemania if that makes sense
but the work is generally pretty good.

If I had the power of history to re-book here’s what I do:

Allied Powers vs. Smoking Gunns (Tag Title change and it’s there I set up Yoko’s return and the eventual Allied breakup at Summerslam)

Owen Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid (Random filler stuff to get two workers on the card)

Jeff Jarrett & The Roadie vs. Undertaker (We’ll figure it out)

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels (I-C title rematch here, we’ll get Razor the title back before this card and do the Wrestlemania X rematch with Shawn going over)

Bret Hart vs. Diesel (Gotta get Diesel over here. I do it by Hart getting him in the sharpshooter, Owen coming down and ringing the bell prematurely to make Hart think he won and Owen distracting him for Diesel to get the jack knife and the win)

Bam Bam vs. LT (This part worked the first time)

The best gimmick match in wrestling history? Quite possibly. Meanwhile I have a question for debate. Better tag team wrestler: Arn Anderson or Bobby Eaton?

The
Princess Retro Rant for WCW Wrestlewar 1992: War Games

From the Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum in Jacksonville, Fla.

Hosted by Jim Ross and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

U.S. Tag Team Championship:  The Taylor
Made Man & Greg Valentine vs. The Fabulous Freebirds

I’m assuming “Badstreet USA” was dubbed over but the ‘Birds were in a weird
babyface run and cutting bad songs as “musicians” so this could easily just be
one of those. The Taylor Made Man is Terry Taylor doing a cheap rip off of Ted
DiBiase’s gimmick down to the tear away tuxedo shirt. Greg Valentine is…well
Greg Valentine. The Freebirds are Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin.  Taylor and Valentine are the champions and
BILL ALFONZO~! is the referee.

Taylor and Hayes start out and do a ton of posturing and strutting and other
forms of stalling and fanfare. Taylor makes the blind tag but goofy heel
miscommunication leads to a near fall by Hayes. Hayes gets the first impact
move in – a hip toss but when he goes for it the second time Valentine clubs
him with a forearm. Hayes comes back with an atomic drop and a couple of
clotheslines that get a two count.  Hayes
chops away before tagging Garvin and the Freebirds decide to work on Valentine’s
arm to set the pace. Garvin tries a roll up but Valentine counters and misses
the elbow. Freebirds double team the arm and continue the basic work as the
crowd chants DDT. Valentine fights out and tags Taylor, who misses an elbow.
The Freebirds continue to work on Taylor’s arm with a succession of quick tags
and arm bars. High cross body (actually not very high at all) gets two. Garvin
drops a leg on Taylor’s arm and tags back to Hayes. Sticking with the arm and
Taylor tries to headbutt his way out of this predicament but Hayes casually
grabs Taylor’s ponytail and pulls him down. Finally Taylor breaks the arm but
gets back body dropped. Hayes follows with a running elbow and an elbow drop
for a two count. Crowd still chanting DDT as Taylor uses leverage to send
Garvin to the floor. Valentine roughs up Garvin while he’s down there.

Back in the ring Taylor with a jawbuster and now Valentine in the ring and he
lays in the chops. Corner whip but Valentine eats boot off the blind charge.
Garvin goes for the tag but Valentine cuts him off. Garvin, however, gets a
suplex on Valentine although Garvin was worse for wear. Valentine tries a
splash and hits knees but manages to hold off Garvin long enough to tag Taylor.
Taylor with a corner clothesline and a chin lock to break up the movement.
Garvin with a clothesline out of the hold and a hot tag to Hayes. He takes on
both guys and we’ve got a donnybrook here. Hayes goes for the DDT on Valentine
but Taylor hits the five arm on Hayes for a near fall. Wow I thought that would
finish it. Valentine with a backbreaker gets two. Valentine gets in all of his
traditional offense including the great headbutt to the lower abdomen.
Valentine tries another splash that hits knees but Valentine rolls into a tag
and Taylor goes to the eyes to maintain control. Hayes reverses an irish whip
but sets too early so Taylor hits a doctor bomb for two. Tag to Valentine and
he goes right to the figure four so Garvin quickly jumps in to break that up.
Valentine decides to go with a step over armbar. Hayes gets vertical and gets
chopped a few times for doing so. Valentine with a hard corner whip and he
couldn’t follow up because Hayes oversold it. Taylor tagged in and he tries to
ram Hayes’ head into the turnbuckle but Hayes reverses it and drops him with a
left. Hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house on both men. Double clothesline by
Garvin but Valentine trips him off the ropes and Taylor hits a knee drop for
two. Taylor goes for a slam but Garvin rolls over and hits the DDT for the pin
and the belts. Crowd goes wicked loud for that. Freebirds were over in Jacksonville.

(Freebirds def. Taylor/Valentine, pinfall, ***1/4, old school Southern formula
tag team match with four veterans that know how to do it. Fun stuff.)

Tony Schiavone, looking quite svelte, and Eric Bischoff do some post match
analysis before our next match.

“Young Pistol” Tracy Smothers vs. Johnny B. Badd

Jesse goes straight for the gay jokes of course and…well Mero gives him no
reason not to, wearing more makeup than a room full of Italian housewives.
Smothers is going to play the heel in this match as he makes a point to
complain about Badd pulling the tights early. Badd with a hip toss and an
armdrag that forces Smothers to take a powder. Badd gets a cross body for two
off of a rope sequence and then an armdrag that transitions right into an
armbar. Smothers gets back to his feet and corners Badd. Smothers roughs up Badd
in the corner and hits a jumping side kick to the face for two. Smothers does a
little more “martial arts” and hits a BEAUTIFUL flying back elbow from the top
for two. Smothers goes back up to the top and hits a cross body but Badd rolls
over and gets a two count. Smothers, however, stays in control and hits another
jumping side kick for two. For those wondering I think his tag partner, Steve
Armstrong, had left for the WWF at this point. Smothers hits a few more chops
and gets another two count. A body slam attempt is countered into an inside
cradle for two but Smothers gets the chinlock. Badd rallies with a high knee
and a series of punches. Powerslam from Badd and a top rope sunset flip gets
two but Smothers is up first. He misses the side kick and Badd hits the “kiss
that don’t miss” (a punch to the face) for the three count.

(Badd def. Smothers, **3/4, perfectly acceptable stuff that could have been
really good with 3-5 more minutes.)

Missy Hyatt talks with the Freebirds and PRECIOUS~! With brown hair no less.  She looked pretty good too.

More analysis from Tony and Eric.

Marcus Alexander Bagwell vs. Scotty Flamingo

Speaking of Missy Hyatt, Bagwell is one of the boys she brought into Atlanta I
believe. Scotty Flamingo is/was better known as Raven. They slap each other in
the face several times and finally Flamingo dumps Bagwell to the floor but
Bagwell jumps back in the ring and tackles Flamingo. They go back to slapping
each other. Are they going to use their nails next? Maybe some hair pulling?
Anyway Bagwell does something and gets a back suplex for two. Flamingo tries a
suplex but Bagwell reverses it and gets two. Flamingo recovers to send Bagwell
to the floor. Back in the ring Bagwell counters a kitchen sink knee with a
rollover for two. Flamingo recovers with a back suplex. Snapmare and Flamingo
hits the fist drop from the second rope for two. Flamingo with a chin lock and
we wait. Thankfully he goes to the choke and gets a two count. Back to the chin
lock for Flamingo. They do a few rope sequences before Flamingo lands a high
cross body that sends both guys over the top rope. Both men are back in the
ring. Bagwell sends Flamingo to the canvas face first but Flamingo fights back
on the ground. Bagwell rallies back with a hip toss and a clothesline. Bagwell
to the second rope and hits a double axe to the head. Fisherman’s suplex gets
two when Flamingo has his foot on the ropes. Bagwell with a roll up but
Flamingo reverses it and grabs the tights for the three count.

(Flamingo def. Bagwell, *1/2, both men…or at least Flamingo were capable of
better.)

We look back at the events that led to this tag match between Ron Simmons and
JYD against Cactus Jack and Mr. Hughes. Cactus and Abdullah beat up Simmons at
Superbrawl and JYD SLOWLY came in for the save. JYD was so slow had it been a
shoot Simmons would have easily been dead.

Cactus Jack & Mr. Hughes vs. Ron Simmons & Junkyard Dog

Wow JYD is super fat, he makes Cactus look like a light heavyweight in
comparison. Not sure why they dubbed over Simmons’ “Doom” music with this
techno scratching crap but whatever. Anyway Cactus jumps JYD on the ramp and
after a short brawl Cactus takes him out with the suicide elbow. Bang Bang for
sure. JYD does the stretcher job and after a short delay Simmons decides to go
at it alone and damn near kills both guys with a double clothesline. Cactus
decides to chill for this one and let the homeboys battle it out.

Ron Simmons vs. Mr. Hughes

Simmons beats him up with power stuff and Hughes takes a powder. Back in the
ring and Hughes takes control with a clothesline and an elbow drop for two.
Hughes slams Simmons and hits a knee drop for another two count. Jesse points
out that he loves Hughes wrestling with his shades on. Hughes and Cactus do
some more cheating but Simmons rallies with a hip toss. In a funny spot Cactus
tries to tag in but Fonzie is having none of it. Hughes misses a sit down
splash and Simmons rallies with the big spinebuster. Cactus tries for the save
but Simmons cuts him off at the ropes and hits Hughes with the running tackle
for three.

(Simmons def. Hughes, pinfall, ½*, nothing of note there.)

Tony and Eric talk about JYD’s potential injury. He would return or maybe not. A
few months after this Hughes would go to the WWF at the request of the Undertaker.

Todd Champion vs. Super Invader

They are really busting out the big names for this one. Somehow Harley Race got
stuck with the Super Invader but he would eventually just saddle up with Vader
full time. For those that don’t know the Super Invader used to be known as “Hercules”
in the WWF but you give a guy a mask and all of a sudden he’s a Thai fighter.
Go figure. As for the match Invader does all that “oriental” stuff, which means
he chops to the throat a lot. Champion is a big, good looking kid. Not sure if
he was worth a shit in the ring but I’m surprised Vince never threw a worker’s
contract his way. Not much going on here, Invader goes hard with the chinlock
and then a clothesline before dumping Champion to the floor. Back in the ring
and Invader goes up to the top and gets caught with a boot to the face.
Champion hits an ugly shoulderblock and a slightly better spinning elbow but
Invader catches him on the third move with a stun gun. Praying powerbomb
finishes this snoozefest.

(Invader def. Champion, pinfall, ½*, nothing of note here either.)

And we’re right to the next match.

Richard Morton vs. Big Josh

Big Josh is the late Matt Bourne in a smiling Billy Jack Haynes-Paul Bunyan
Northwoods type gimmick. Richard Morton is Ricky Morton using his legal name.
Morton tries to play cat and mouse with Josh but eventually he gets caught and
beat up with power stuff. Morton catches Josh with a knee lift off the ropes
and he rips Josh’s flannel shirt off because he’s really angry I guess. Josh
corners Morton, however and roughs him up. Running forearm hits Morton stiff as
hell. Damn I felt that one. Josh misses a corner elbow and Morton with a back
suplex. Inverted atomic drop from Morton and a knee drop. Morton, playing the
heel, goes for the choke. Josh fights off a roll up but misses an elbow and
Morton gets a two count from all of that. Morton with a snapmare and another knee
drop for two. Morton with an armbar and he takes it to the ground. Josh fights
to get back to his vertical base and easily breaks the hold. Morton goes for a
monkey flip but Josh casually stomps him in the face. Body slam and a big elbow
drop gets two. Josh sets too early off of an irish whip and Morton kicks him in
the mouth. Back to the arm for Morton and he adds a few elements to the armbar
because Morton always tried hard. Headbutt from Josh breaks the hold and hits a
beautiful belly to belly suplex. Josh corners Morton and gets a double
underhook suplex for two. Morton goes to the eyes and then to the ropes but
gets caught with the spinebuster and the northern exposure (a running butt splash)
for the pin.

(Josh def. Morton, **1/4, nothing offensive here.)

Tony and Eric give us more analysis! Talking light heavyweight championship
here and former tag partners exploding! We see a clip from the WCW Saturday
night where Zenk and Pillman set up their match by arguing while wearing some
of the best clothing Chess King could provide.

WCW Light Heavyweight Championship: Flyin’ Brian vs. The Z Man

Jesse is reveling in the two pretty boys clashing and asks Ross who is going to
cheat first. Both guys keep it scientific to start and do an extended rope
sequence before trying for dropkicks at the same time. Pillman gets a drop toe
and goes to the arm. Zenk fights out and another rope sequence sees both guys
try for arm tosses. Pillman gets a snapmare and a knee drop for a two count.
Pillman goes to the side headlock but Zenk gets an armdrag and he works the
hammer lock for a while before going to the armbar. They do more rope stuff and
Pillman gets the head scissors take down on a counter and he goes to the arm
before switching to a sitting head scissors. Zenk fights out and gets a
backslide for two and then a sunset flip for two so Pillman chops the shit out
of him. Indian deathlock from Pillman as he works the leg and then moves down
to the knee and ankle specifically. Pillman drops the elbow on the knee and
starts wrenching away. Pillman extends Zenk’s hamstring a couple of times but
misses a somersault senton. Suplex from Zenk gets two and now Zenk works on the
back with a couple of knees. Backbreaker by Zenk and a springboard splash
catches knees. Pillman goes back to the leg and drops the elbow on the knee a
couple of times. Anklelock from Pillman turns into a half crab. Zenk fights to
his feet and hits an enziguri for the near fall. Zenk with a corner whip but he
misses the flying knee and Pillman applied the figure four and both guys start
SLAPPING each other. Awesome.

Zenk furiously fights the hold and turns it over but Pillman turns it back,
however Zenk grabs the ropes and forces the break. Another nasty chop from Pillman.
He goes for a slingshot shoulderblock but Zenk catches him with a powerslam for
a near fall. Zenk lays in the chops and but Pillman with a arm crucifix for two
and a half. Pillman sets Zenk up on the ropes and goes for the superplex but
Zenk dumps him off the ropes and climbs to the top where he hits the cross body
and gets another two count. The competitors do another rope sequence and knock
heads to temporary stop the flow. After a short double count Zenk hits a
flapjack for another two count. Zenk misses the elbow drop but catches Pillman
with a straight kick for two. Zenk goes for the top rope dropkick but Pillman
moves out of the way and gets the double leg rollup for the pin!

(Pillman def. Zenk, pinfall, ***3/4, that turned into a hell of a match.)

And right to the next match.

Takayki Iizuka & Tatsumi Fujinami vs. The Steiner Brothers

Now when I WANT the WWE to overdub generic music with the “Orient Express”
theme it doesn’t happen. MAKE ME HAPPY NETWORK!! Anyway the Steiners are the
WCW World Tag champions but this match is to determine the IWGP Number One
contenders.

Scott and Fujinami start and do some scientific stuff to start and it looks
like they will wrestle a more Japanese-style match to start at least. Scott
tries to give Fujinami the reverse slam and almost breaks his neck. Iizuka
comes in for some and the reverse slam hits cleanly. Scott then stiffs Fujinami
on a forearm because he was pissed. Iizuka tagged in and he slams Scott, hits a
second rope elbow and then a somersault double kick from the top for a two
count. Nice. Iizuka gets a boston crab. Iizuka turns it over into a double leg
but Steiner bridges out of the pin and hits the underhook power bomb. Scott puts
Iizuka over his shoulder and tags Rick who comes off the top with the elbow for
a two count. Tag to Fujinami and we go back to a headlock to slow the pace down
but Rick with a vicious release belly to back suplex for two. Damn. Tag to
Scott and he hits Fujinami with an elbow and now a single crab. Jesse points
out that Iizuka is bleeding from something Steiner did, probably the elbow from
the top. Tag to Rick and they let Fujinami out of the corner. He gets Rick in
an electric chair and tags Iilzuka who hits the cross body from the top but
Steiner turns it over in the air for two! Steiner gets a football tackle and
another two count before Iizuka tags out. Fujinami comes in and works on the
leg with a variety of things including a single leglock and a super hamstring
extender using the second rope. Tag to Iizuka and he does a sit down splash on
the leg. Rick finally tags out and Scott hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two.
Scott applies a chicken wing and then gives Iizuka a T-Bone suplex before
tagging in Rick again.

Rick with a step over armbar and then Rick scoops him up and runs him into the
corner. Tag to Scott, who hits an abdominal stretch slam for two and back to
the ground stuff. Iizuka is taking an ass whipping in there. Iizuka tags
Fujinami and he goes after both Steiners so Rick gladly beats the fuck out of
him for daring to bow up. Fujinami with an abdominal stretch on Scott and he
pulls it back into a pinning hold for two. 
Scott fights back to his feet and tags Rick back in. He and Fujinami
continue their brawl but the Japanese corner Rick only for him to easily muscle
out and give Iizuka and ridiculous belly to belly overhead suplex as Jesse
loves this shit. Scott snapmares Iizuka and sends him into his corner where
Fujinami makes the tag. The Japanese try a double team but Scott with a double
armdrag and Rick with a springboard double clothesline. Scott sets up Iizuka
but the referee is concerned with Rick so Fujinami gets a belly to back suplex
on Scott. Nasty german suplex from Iizuka with an aborted release. SPIKE
PILEDRIVER~! from the Japanese team and Iizuka comes in with a top rope
dropkick, illegally I might add. Fujinami with a sleeper and now the dragon
sleeper but Scott gets to the ropes. Regular sleeper and Scott kicks Fujinami
to the face and hits a clothesline. Scott and Fujinami knock heads and both
guys retreat to the corners for the tags but Rick gets the hot tag. Big
Steinerline and an elbow gets two. Belly to Belly rollover suplex for two. All
four men in the ring. Steiner with a belly to belly from the top and that
finally gets the pin.  Oh my goodness!

(Stieners def. Fujinami/Iizuka, ****1/2, that match went into the awesome zone
as Iizuka and Fujinami were willing to die for my pleasure.)

Jesse and JR recap the goodness we just saw.

Tony and Eric with some more analysis. Will Sting and Nikita Koloff get along?
Can the Dangerous Alliance stick together?

Wargames: The Dangerous Alliance (“Ravishing” Rick Rude, “Stunning” Steve
Austin, “The Cruncher” Larry Zbyzsko, “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson and “Beautiful”
Bobby Eaton) vs. Sting’s Squadron (Sting, Nikita Koloff, Barry Windham, Ricky “The
Dragon” Steamboat and “The Natural” Dustin Rhodes)

Funny thing is you can pretty much mix any of these ten guys in a tag match and
get an easy ***+ out of it. Ok I haven’t seen this match in a good long time so
I am going to guess who bleeds:

All right Austin and Anderson are obvious ones for the DA while Dustin and
Windham probably started blading on their way to the ring. Zbyzsko isn’t much
of a bleeder and neither is Koloff so let’s eliminate them. Ricky Steamboat has
his nose taped so there’s a good chance he’ll bleed. I’ll say Eaton will show
some red and that’s all. So Austin, Anderson, Eaton, Steamboat, Windham and
Rhodes are my designated bleeders for this match. Let’s roll.

Austin and Windham will go for the five minute period. Slugfest to the shock of
no one, Austin tries to send Windham to the cage but Windham blocks it. Back
and forth action as Austin back drops Windham and drops an elbow. They work to
the other ring as Windham tries to send Austin to the cage but he blocks it so
Windham DDTs him instead. Windham tries to rub Austin’s face in the cage but he
blocks it and clotheslines Windham over both ropes and the other way. Austin
tries to use the top of the cage for leverage but gets a flapjack for his
trouble and now Windham sends him into the cage twice! Austin is the first
gusher of the night as Windham bites him and adds a kneelift. Coin toss goes to
the DA, I’m shocked. Rick Rude comes in for the 2-on-1 and he roughs up Windham
and goes to the eyes. Rude goes with the intensity and power to take the
advantage but Windham blocks the cage attempt. Austin fights back to his feet
and hits Windham with a clothesline from the middle rope. The heels team up and
send Windham to the cage not once but twice and I’m sure Windham is bleeding so
two down and four to go.

Steamboat comes in for the Squadron and he goes CRAZY. Austin is sent into the
cage, a DDT for Rude, a DDT for Austin and the crowd is LOVING it. Austin’s
face is completely submerged with blood. Fuck TV PG man. Steamboat with a
franksteiner on Rude and some ground and pound as the faces are rolling.
Windham is back to his feet and they double team Rude. Anderson gives the heels
the 3-on-2 advantage and he DDTs Windham and then goes to the other ring to hit
Steamboat with the spinebuster. Double boston crab by Rude and Anderson on
Steamboat and he’s tapping out but this long before that was a way to submit.
Windham tries to save his partner but the numbers game is too great. All five
men are now in one ring. Nasty piledriver by Rude on Steamboat and then he
launches the Dragon into the other ring! Steamboat and Rude clothesline each
other. Dustin Rhodes on deck and its bionic elbow time for Anderson and a
clothesline for Austin. Now Steamboat has a Boston crab on Rude with Windham
adding to the punishment. Electric chair for Rhodes on Austin while Windham has
Anderson’s head wedged in between the rings! Wild action everywhere and now
Steamboat with a figure four on Rude. I need to breathe for a second.

Zbyzsko is the seventh man in the ring giving the DA a 4-3 advantage and Medusa
climbs the cage to slip the phone to her men before Sting chases her off. Rude
goes after Steamboat’s nose while The Enforcers torture Dustin Rhodes and send
him into the cage. Anderson sends Windham hard into the cage as Rude puts a
sleeper on Steamboat. Sting evens the battle and a facebuster for Anderson, a
jawbreaker and press slam for Rude. Sting sends Anderson into the and back
drops poor Austin into the cage. Austin has taken a grade-A shitkicking tonight.
Medusa tapes Eaton’s hand while Sting grates Anderson’s bloody face into the
cage. I love it! I LOVE IT! Austin with a ridiculous lariat on Rhodes while
Windham and Larry Z knock each other out with something else. Eaton gives the
DA its final one-man advantage of the night, he sends Steamboat into the cage.
Rhodes with a big boot on Austin and Rhodes is wearing a serious crimson mask.
Eaton sends Windham back into the cage as Zbyzsko and Rude are trying to loosen
a turnbuckle. Windham with a figure four on Anderson while Steamboat chops
Zybykso in the corner. Crowd chanting for Nikita as we have 30 seconds left
before The Match Beyond begins. Koloff sends the Anderson into the cage and
extends a hand to Sting. They do a stare down and then Nikita pushes Sting out of
the way and takes a double clothesline from Austin and Anderson. The faces rally
back with clotheslines of their own, high five each other AND NOW ITS ASS
KICKING TIME as the place is about to riot! Rude goes back to working on that
turnbuckle. Sting with a Stinger splash on Anderson and the Scorpion deathlock
but Eaton broke it up.

Dustin with a figure four on Zbyzsko while Nikita continues to make Austin’s
shitty night even worse, just torturing him in a corner. Rude breaks the figure
four that Dustin had but Koloff just chokes him out. Rhodes misses a top rope
elbow on Austin. Steamboat with a sleeper on Rude but Eaton and Zbyzsko corner
Sting and Larry Z grabs the steel hook on the buckle and accidentally hits
Eaton in the shoulder with it. Sting sends Zbyzsko to Larryland and then slaps
a shoulderbar on Eaton. Sadly the Beautiful one only lasts about 15 seconds in
the hold before calling it a night. Final blood count was Anderson, Austin, Windham
and Rhodes. It looked like Eaton was actually hit with the bar because he had a
NASTY purple bruise, although that could have come from anything. Unbelievable
match.

(Squadron def. Dangerous Alliance, submission, *****, I would say it is the
greatest gimmick match of all time.)

The Bottom Line: Something for everyone here and no complaints from me. One of
the great PPVs when both promotions were doing different things extremely well.

Scott’s not going to review the box set so…why the hell not?

RAW
IS HALIFAX

From Halifax, Nova Scotia on July 21, 1997

Hosted by Vince, JR and The King

JR does the intro spotlighting how Bret Hart can be so hated in one country and
loved in another. The soundbites from Canadians are awesome, especially the guy
with about three teeth wearing something that looks like Carolina Panthers
gear. Hart’s sound bites on Canada talking about taking care of their people
and a land not riddled with racial prejudice makes it seem like quite the utopia.
Husband and I spent part of our 10-year anniversary in Canada so I’m down with the Great White North…although I’ve heard Canadians hate that term. Geez.

The classic 1997 RAW Intro. We got Hart, HBK, Ahmed, Sid and Austin as the
primary figures. And lots of pyro. Can’t forget the pyro. And I sort of miss
Vince saying “IT’S MONDAY NIGHT RAAAAAAAAW!” We’ve got a triple threat tag
match, HBK and the big six-man flag match which was currently just an open
challenge from Bret, Bulldog and Owen to whomever. No opening promo so let’s
get to the matches!

Vader (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock actually gets a huge pop, the first and last time he would be cheered
in Canada. This is a rematch from IYH: Cold Day in Hell. Shamrock goes for the
takedown but Vader backs off in the corner. Shamrock with some leg strikes but
doing no damage as Vader stalls. Crowd is just going apeshit for no reason in
particular. We finally get a collar and elbow tie-up and Vader with a thumb to
the eye but his hip toss is reversed to a take down. However, Vader up first
and clubs Shamrock before dropping him with a clothesline. Vader with a elbow
to the mid section and a second one. Vader hits the big splash and gets a two
count. The referee admonishes Vader for something so Bearer can rough up
Shamrock with his shoe. Vader then throws Shamrock to the floor and sends him
into the stairs. Back in the ring and Vader continues clubbing as the crowd
starts to get behind him? Powerbomb is countered and Shamrock rallies with a
belly to belly suplex and a single leg lock. Bearer interferes again and this
time Shamrock clocks him. Back in the ring Vader drops an elbow and slams him.
Vader goes to the second rope and hits the splash but barely gets two. Shamrock
mistimed his kick out there and made the move look weak. Vader bomb attempt
hits knees and Shamrock kicks the shit out of Vader in the corner. Shamrock
goes for a frankensteiner but Vader dumps him over the top. Vader gets
admonished by the ref some more and the Bulldog comes out and powerslams
Shamrock on the steel ramp. Oh yeah they are fighting at Summerslam. Anyway
Shamrock gets counted out.

(Vader def. Shamrock, countout, **, match had some potential if not for the
stalling and a few issues. Not sure why they felt like they needed to keep
Vader strong as he was pretty much wallowing in the mud by this point. Shamrock
still hasn’t been pinned.)

More Canadians profess their love for Bret Hart. They really went to great
efforts to find the goofiest looking jokers possible too.

Brakus is coming. That one didn’t work out.

Vince is in the ring to interview The Hart Foundation. Crowd goes absolutely
RABID. The pop is pretty awesome and the Halifax arena is small and intimate
enough to really bring it out on television. Hart mostly panders to the crowd
and makes fun of Texas, which that state certainly deserves. The weird thing
about this whole angle is I never really understood how much Canadians hate the
United States of America. I know this is just a “work” and all but…fuck that
this is REAL heat as far as this crowd is concerned. Good stuff from Bret and
Owen but Bulldog’s promo fell flat. They call out their respect opponents for
Summerslam – Undertaker, Austin and Shamrock. Owen suggests that Austin can
suck his toes and that queues up Austin to interrupt. He says he’ll shove all
their toes up their asses and agrees to take part in “the stupid little flag
match.”

Let’s go back to last week when Los Boricuas “accidentally” messed up one of
the motorcycles from the DOA. And they fought. Shitty brawl too. Really this
whole gang wars thing sucked without any blood or workrate…preferably blood.

Bryan Walsh vs. Brian Christopher

Walsh claims he’s Canada originally and now resides in Rhode Island, like there’s
a difference. He has two little cute Canadian flags and of course the crowd isn’t
feeling him. He looks like Paul Orndorff without any of the muscle tone or a
good tan…hell maybe he is Canadian. Shockingly Christopher doesn’t get blown up
walking to the ring. He beats up Walsh and defaces his little flags for the
cheap heat. Walsh rallies with a monkey flip and a second one. Christopher
fucks up and simple transitional move but his the stroke and a pretty nice
release german suplex. Rollover suplex gets a two count, he misses a fist drop
and Walsh gets a body slam and an elbow drop. Christopher back with a bulldog
as JR chides Lawler for being Christopher’s dad. Second bulldog attempt is
unsuccessful as Walsh gives Christopher the 10 punch and a drop kick.
Christopher reverses a high cross body into a slam and gives Walsh and inverted
bulldog and a top rope leg drop for the pin.

(Christopher def. Walsh, pinfall, **, much better than I expected)

The Truth Commission from South Africa is coming…actually I think they already
came or were coming next week. Wow only 10 years after Colonel DeBeers completely dragged every bit of heat out of the evil South African character. Not much came of them outside of Kurrigan
although I thought Recon and The Sniper were an ok tag team.

Sable flaunts her stuff as Marc Mero stands there pissed. Ahhh “Marvelous” Marc
Mero had so much potential once he got it going.

They do a little video package on Mick Foley, as he had recently showed the
Dude Love character. Of course this was all set up by a tremendous set of
interviews between Foley and JR to get him over. It worked. Of course I don’t
think they have tried it much since. What made this whole thing work was how
much they acknowledged Foley’s past. They even show “Jack Foley” getting his
ass kicked by the British Bulldogs. I remember Dynamite Kid being especially
dickish to him in that match. The Austin-Foley interaction actually set up
their great program roughly a year later. I admit I fell hook, line and sinker
for the whole story and when Dude Love came to help Austin win the tag titles I
legitimately felt happy for Mick Foley the person and the fact that he was
finally getting this acceptance that he yearned for…like any of that shit was
real…and naturally those were the emotional strings they were looking to tug. Of
course I doubt they thought Foley would later become a multi-millionaire
best-selling author but that’s what happens when the right guy gets the right
vehicle.

Austin begrudging shows respect for Foley but he hates him and hates the idea
of having a tag team partner because…well because he says so.

Can we get a match? No, just more stuff from last week? Okay, the Godwinns
attacked the Legion of Doom. And now the LOD drops a promo. And even though
they were pretty much booked to look like a bunch of pussies at this point,
Hawk still cuts a cool promo.

And now we have a match.

The Godwinns vs. The New Blackjacks vs. The Headbangers

The winner of this match faces the Tag Team Champions, Austin & Dude Love,
next week. The rules are just odd. Three men in the ring at once and you can
only tag your partner. Windham, PIG and Mosh start things off and it’s a bunch
of guys clotheslining each other.  No
real flow to this one. HOG hits a nice flapjack on Thrasher for two and then
Hog and Bradshaw knock each other out with clotheslines. Putting all three guys
in the ring at once is one of those ideas that probably sounded good in theory,
but it’s impossible to follow and the crowd is completely disinterested. Ross
says there’s never a dull moment in these types of matches but I vehemently
disagree. The Godwinns win, not sure how, really don’t care.

(Godwinns def. Headbangers & Blackjacks, DUD, I’d give it negative stars if
I paid attention.)

Time for the War Zone…which has the exact same intro as RAW, they couldn’t have
switched things up a little? Yay, more pyro, can never have enough pyro!

JR welcomes Shawn Michaels to the ring and he’s completely in heel mode. It’s
actually refreshing to see too as he knew they were going to hate him and he
completely goes over the top, even working in a couple of quick crotch chops as
we hadn’t officially gotten to that point yet. He does a back flip off the top
rope to fuck with those people that bitched about his knee injury. Seriously
the jeers are completely drowning out the announcers. HBK quickly mocks the
fans and mentions something about the US freeing Canadian ferries and says they
will free the heterosexuals too. He proceeds to make Canada his bitch and just
trolls the fuck out of the crowd. Oooo…a “faggot” chant; how American of you
Canadians…and HBK retorts “if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were
talking about me.” He throws his hat in the ring for tonight’s stupid little
flag match. But that’s not his only announcement as he says he’ll be the
special guest referee at Summerslam. Which match? Well of course Shawn Michaels
only works one match…the Main Event. The stipulation is either he calls the
match fair or he can’t wrestle in the U.S. which means he “will have to wrestle
in front of you guys for the rest of his life.” And declares “if you can’t
trust Shawn Michaels, who can you trust.” This was absolutely a road test for
his DX persona and it was awesome.

More Canadians cracking at Americans, one of them looks like Kip Dynamite. I know
this had to be some sort of an inside joke.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/Chyna) vs. The Patriot

The Patriot is greeted exactly how you would expect…but much worse…shockingly
no one throws a beer on him. If they had I might have declared this the
greatest crowd ever. Wilkes says something about supporting your country and
patriotism is never bad thing but pick better role models than Bret Hart.
Personally Owen was my role model of the group so I’m good. HHH jumps him to
start and the crowd explodes with cheers. Patriot no sells some of HHH’s
offense and hits him with a couple of shoulders. Powerslam from the Patriot
gets two as The Hart Foundation saunters to the broadcast table. Patriot with a
suplex but now the camera is completely on Bret bitching at Vince about
something. Owen tries to hold Hart back and it looks like he’s successful but
Hart returns and slaps McMahon’s headset off. Crowd is about to riot. McMahon
shouts back at Hart as the Foundation tries to hold him back. Hart comes back
again and he and McMahon have a PULL APART BRAWL! Holy shit. McMahon actually
gets the better of it as he pulls Hart’s shirt over him in a nod to
hockey-style fights…that will soon be outlawed in hockey. Crowd is the red
zone right now, like they are rushing the railings and completely stretching
the lengths of whatever security is there. Patriot comes to break things up and
the Harts jump him as several referees and officials come out to break up the
melee. This was incredible stuff as it felt like two guys having a legitimate
fight. First of all McMahon had never gotten physically involved up to this
point despite six months of Hart and Austin and HBK and everyone bitching at
him. So finally he was brought over the line. Also we’re now really
acknowledging the fact that he’s the guy calling the shots in this company. Of
course we already knew that but it hadn’t completely been spelled out on WWF
programming before. The whole thing had me in SHOCK when I saw it live.

(Patriot vs. HHH is a no contest due to unforseen brawl between company owner and talent, match looked to be able *1/2 and the brawl was a solid ****1/2, needed blood and a connecting punch.)

After the break Paul Bearer takes about Kane being alive…yeah whatever…talk
about a segment that could have easily been scrapped because no one was
thinking about it at that exact minute. Anyway he reveals his proof that Kane
was alive.

Farooq vs. Goldust

Shockingly Goldust gets a huge face pop despite being part of the opposition in
the 10-man tag a month ago. Goldust jumps Farooq to start as the announcers
talk about what just went down and King chides McMahon for his decision making.
McMahon says “oh no” and leaves the broadcast table. Farooq hits Goldust with a
clothesline from the second rope as McMahon takes the walk of shame past a
booing crowd. Ross says that there has been an altercation with Bret Hart and
Shawn Michaels in the back and Michaels has been injured. Meanwhile in the ring
Goldust hits Farooq with a bulldog. Kama the Godfather pulls Goldust outside
and beats the hell out of him while Marlena inadvertently distracts the referee.
Back in the ring Farooq hits a dominator but the referee claims he saw interference
he didn’t see and disqualifies Farooq.

(Goldust def. Farooq, disqualification, DUD, this match was background noise
and nothing more.)

Back in Shawn Michaels’ dressing room he’s clearly “injured” and cursing out
McMahon and the stooges as the crowd approves of what apparently just went
down.

Stupid little Flag Match: Bret Hart, British Bulldog & Owen Hart vs. Steve
Austin and  ???

Before the match Hart wants to hear ‘O’Canada’ which I must admit is quite the
jam up national anthem if there ever was one. Austin comes out by himself but
is quickly joined by Dude Love. They decide to go at this two on three and the
Harts quickly take control of the brawl to start the match. Owen dumps Love and
Bret hits Austin with an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline that sends him
to the floor. Owen hits an enziguri on Love and tries to climb but Austin dumps
him to the floor. JR sends it to a break and as he does the bell tolls. Uh oh.

We’re back and the Undertaker has joined forces with Austin and Love. Bulldog
and Owen work over Love but Owen sets too early and gets kicked. Love sends Owen
into the turnbuckle and makes the lukewarm tag to the Undertaker. He cleans
house and puts a double armed chokeslam on Owen. Now the more traditional
one-armed chokeslam gets a cover but this is a flag match. Tag to Austin and he
pounds on Owen and drops him with a clothesline. Suplex from Austin, snapmare
and the FU elbow drop. Austin with a chinlock and he heels it up by putting his
feet on the ropes. Ross says USA Network will stay with the match until we get
a winner. Owen fights out of the rest hold but runs into a kitchen sink knee.
Tag to Love and he drops Owen on his head but Owen reverses a neckbreaker into
a DDT. Austin comes in to stop Owen’s momentum and Love slaps on a body
scissors…hey why not? Owen fights out of it but Love goes to the eyes. Tag to
Austin and he sets Owen on the top rope, going for a superplex and but Owen
dumps him off the ropes. Austin tags Undertaker as we take another break.

We’re back and Love has a sleeper on Owen but he counters with a suplex and
misses an elbow drop. Love misses a clothesline and Owen hits a leg lariat.
Still the heels keep Owen from the tag, Owen misses an enziguri and Austin goes
for the sharpshooter. Owen kicks out of him and gets the hot tag to Bret. He
goes for the ringpost figure four but Love hits him with a clothesline. Austin
tags Undertaker and gives Bulldog a chokeslam and goes for the tombstone but
Bret breaks it up. A slugfest ensues and they fall victim to a double
clothesline but the Undertaker sits up and begins the climb. Owen stops him
there’s a race to make the climb as Brian Pillman comes from out of nowhere and
impedes the Undertaker allowing Bret to grab the flag and celebrate with his
countrymen.

(Hart Foundation def. Austin, Love & Undertaker, capture the flag, ***1/4,
decent match, ridiculous heat.)

The Bottom Line: A pretty incredible RAW on several fronts. The wasn’t much actual wrestling to speak of but you saw the first glimpse of the new
Shawn Michaels persona and the beginning stages of the Mr. McMahon
character.  The crowd was absolutely molten
and the main event was solid work. Definitely worth tracking down on YouTube
(pretty much every 1997 RAW is on there) and watching.

As promised, some good ole fashioned man-on-woman violence for all of you!

Armageddon
2000

From The Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center in Birmingham, Alabama

Hosted by Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler

The main event for this card is a 6-man Hell in a Cell match for the WWF Would
Heavyweight Championship. The premise is that the commissioner Mick Foley booked
this match in hopes that someone’s career would end since his career “ended”
earlier in the year in such a match. Before the card began Foley said if one of
the six men in the match were injured he would resign.

Six-Person Intergender Elimination Match: Team Xtreme vs. The Radicalz

This is the Malenko-Guerrero-Saturn edition. They recap the reason for this
match as Malenko put up his light heavyweight title in a match on Smackdown
against Lita and she put up a date as collateral. Malenko won of course, and
got his date. Once they got to the hotel, Lita seduces him a little bit and the
Hardyz jump him. I tell you “Ladies Man” Dean Malenko had potential if for no
other reason than how deadpan and short Malenko is. My husband chimes in by
saying Lita looks like she would be a tremendous lay. Ahh marriage is good when
your mate feels comfortable saying how well another chick can fuck and normally
I would let this go but this needed further explanation so here’s the
conversation in short form:

Me: So would you say she’s probably better in bed than Trish Stratus?

Him: Oh most definitely.

Me: Most fans would probably disagree.

Him: I don’t know about that. I think most fans would lust after Trish more but
if you asked the simple question of who would probably be better in bed most
fans would say Lita.

Me: Interesting.

Him: Trish is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, she’s also a yoga chick so there’s
some serious freak potential there but something tells me she has a lot of
parameters. Whereas Lita might say something like ‘wow I haven’t fucked using a
cattle prod since I was a teenager’.

My husband folks, I love him.

Anyway, the Radicalz are accompanied by Terri for whatever reason. Scotty will
be upset to see no color coordination with the Radicalz this night. Pier six to
start but the Hardyz quickly take control with a double suplex on Saturn and a
coolio double electric chair on Guerrero. The Radicalz bail but Jeff Hardy hits
a plancha on Guerrero and Malenko. In the ring Saturn takes control of Matt
Hardy with a headbutt and a leg lariat. Crowd is all over Eddy. Suplex by
Saturn and a take to Guerrero, he hits an elbow on Guerrero but gets caught
with a hot shot on a blind charge. Hot tag to Jeff Hardy and he cleans house
before giving Guerrero and back body drop. The heels recover but Guerrero can’t
connected on a top-rope hurricanrana. Melee ensues and Lita gives Guerrero a
twist of fate that sets up the swanton for the first pin. Next fall starts
immediately and Jeff Hardy hits a whisper in the wind on Saturn. Four men in
the ring now and a leap of faith on Malenko but when the brothers try it on
Saturn he catches Jeff Hardy and kills him dead with a Death Valley Driver.
Next fall as Matt Hardy and Saturn trade close falls. Terri gets involved long
enough for Saturn to hit a crescent kick on Matt. German suplex gets two for
Saturn. Matt Hardy counters a head scissors into a sidewalk slam and hits the
middle leg drop for twoo. Malenko tries to interfere but fails so Hardy hits
the twist of fate on Saturn for the three count. Terri doesn’t approve of these
actions so she slaps Matt Hardy and gets speared by Lita as a result. The distraction
works, however, as Malenko sneaks behind Hardy and rolls him up for three. Down
to Malenko vs. Lita and I’m sure “The Shooter” is thrilled that after 15 years
in the business working his way up from Japan through the Indys and getting
stiffed on half his paychecks by Paul Heyman and being called a vanilla midget
by Kevin Nash that he’s now facing a chick during the height of popularity for
the top promotion in the states. Anyway they do a reversal sequence and Lita
gets a head scissors and a victory roll for two. Malenko reverses a corner whip
but hits knee on a blind charge. Moonsault by Lita gets two. Rollover DDT from
Lita but she gets caught on the top again and Malenko with a top-rope superplex
and he lets her up at two. Two short-armed clotheslines and a back elbow crush
Lita but he’s not done. Backbreaker and he lets her up at two again. And you
guys were DEFENDING this in the Open Mic thread? Wow. Finally Texas Cloverleaf
ends it. Malenko finishes the deal by tossing her out of the ring. I must say
it was some awesome heel work from him.

(Radicalz def. Team Extreme, pinfall, ***, quick but effective.)

(Lillian Garcia catches up with Kurt Angle as he’s prepping for the Main Event.
Kurt asks Lillian if she is Bulgarian and this leads to him talking about his
Olympic accomplishments.)

European Championship: William Regal vs. Hardcore Holly

Regal goes into an awesome spiel cracking on the crowd. (“It’s all very well
and good to love your farm animals but loving your farm animals is something
completely disgusting and you should all stop it.”). Hardcore Holly goes to
town on Regal and sends him to the floor. Regal drags him out and they start
laying in the stiff shots. Regal sends Holly to the post but back in the ring
Holly with a back suplex for two. Holly goes to the top but eats a boot. Regal
with the classic European uppercuts and and he posts Holly on the ropes and
hits a top-rope superplex for two. He tries a second cover for two and a third
that gets two. Regal with the bow-and-arrow submission. Holly reverses an
underhook suplex into an inverted electric chair for two. Clothesline from
Holly and a beautiful drop kick. Suplex into a slam by Holly and he climbs to
the top and hits an Alabama Jam for two. He goes for a frankensteiner but Regal
catches him and delivers a powerbomb. Regal with an STF but Holly gets to the
ropes. Holly hits Regal with a short forearm and as the referee checks on
Regal, Raven comes in and hits a DDT on Holly. Hmmmm. Regal rolls over and
makes the cover for three.

(Regal def. Holly, pinfall, **1/2, short but it was fine.)

(Rikishi cuts his promo. I never got behind Evil Rikishi. Just think the powers
that be overthought a perfect acceptable, entertaining mid-card act that needed
to be kept strong enough to move into a main event slot if needed. Anyway there’s
talk of an alliance with Kurt Angle and Triple H)

Val Venis vs. Chyna

Yes! More man on woman violence…and to be fair the women get their shots in
too. Chyna charges Venis and hits him with forearms. Smart adjustment because
he punches sucked but her forearms look good. Ivory tries to help her Right to
Censor brother and gets beat up too. Chyna absolutely potatoes Venis in the
corner. He misses a clothesline and she hits a DDT for two. Venis reverses an
irish whip and hits two kitchen sink knees and a side Russian legsweep. Venis
was actually a solid in-ring talent for a while but seemed to get
disinterested. His character had a certain shelf life. Venis dumps Chyna for
Ivory to get in a few shots. Back in the ring, Venis with a double underhook
suplex for two. He wins a slugfest and slams Chyna but misses an elbow. Chyna
rallies with a knockout forearm and a back body drop. Swinging neckbreaker from
Chyna gets two. Venis gets another knee but a beautiful lariat from Chyna gets
two. Wow. Chyna is running low on moveset so she kicks Venis a few times (which
he oversells) but gets caught with a powerslam. Venis goes for the money shot
but misses, Chyna gets two. Body slam by Chyna but Ivory trips her and like and
idiot Chyna chases and gets caught in a fisherman’s suplex for the pinfall.
Chyna tries to get some retribution on Ivory but Venis gets her with that spinout
powerbomb.

(Venis def. Chyna, pinfall, **1/2, perfectly acceptable wrestling again)

(Stephanie and Vince discuss their concerns about the Hell in a Cell. Hmm, it
doesn’t look like Stephanie has any tits in this promo. Had she gotten them
yet? I thought she had.)

(Kevin Kelly gets some thoughts from the Undertaker. He’s in his American
Badass phase but not quite Booger Red yet. This was when his transformation as
a worker began. He says not much of note other than he loves making guys bleed.
Long promo but it was good stuff and they showed clips of his matches with HBK
and Foley. The bumps Foley took were just incredible in hindsight.)

(Mr. McMahon promo. Not sure why he has a cane but he must’ve have blown his
knee out doing something. He promises the match won’t happen and bad mouths
Linda, who he was “feuding” with at the time. He calls himself a concerned and
compassionate humanitarian. Didn’t draw much heat surprisingly.)

Last Man Standing: Chris Jericho vs. Kane

This program started when Jericho accidentally spilled coffee on Kane. Kane
eventually through him through a glass window and chokeslammed him through a
table. That Kane, always overreacting. Jericho eventually got some retribution
but not enough to stop the Big Red Machine.

They start brawling on the ramp way and into the backstage area. Kane rams
Jericho into a truck bed but misses a shot with a shovel. Jericho throws some
mulch in Kane’s eyes and in a random spot, both guys punch Mideon, who was probably
out of position, before brawling back to the ring. Jericho sends Kane to the
ring barricade and sends Kane into the post and the stairs. In the ring,
Jericho hits a back elbow from the top. Jericho clotheslines Kane over the top
but runs for a cross body and gets caught. Kane rams Jericho into the post
twice and powerslams him on the arena floor. Kane rams Jericho’s head in the
steps and boots him in the head. Another shot in the steps (Jericho yells out ‘FUCK’)
and we’re back in the ring. Side backbreaker from Kane and he corners Jericho
where he can deliver a couple of shoulderblocks. Pace of the match has slowed
down considerably. Kane with a body vice and he dumps the lifeless Jericho as
Teddy Long starts the count. Jericho is up by 7. Kane with another corner whip
but he eats boot on a charge. Jericho goes for a leg lariat but Kane catches
him and slams him. Kane misses the elbow and Jericho hits the leg lariat this
year. Lionsault, however, meets knees. Kane climbs to the top and hits the
top-rope clothesline. More clobbering by Kane as this match seems like it’s
going on and on. Jericho gets up at five and suffers a NASTY chokeslam. Great
selling from Jericho there as Long counts until 9. Kane, rightfully pissed,
grabs a chair and goes to the gut and then the back with the chair. Tombstone
attempt on the chair but Jericho slips out the back door and goes low. DDT from
Jericho sends both men to the canvas. Jericho is up first and grabs the chair
for the head shot. Jericho hits a flying forearm and the missile dropkick from
the top. Running bulldog and he sets the chair on Kane and hits the lionsault
but naturally hurts himself in the process. Kane gets up at nine and Jericho runs
right into his boot. Kane press slams Jericho from the ring to the floor and
they fight up the ramp and around the ring entrance way where there are a ton
of used cars at for whatever reason. Kane tries to chokeslam Jericho off a
platform but Jericho fights out of it and bulldogs Kane through a table. Part
of the set was a stack of oil barrels which Jericho pushes on top of Kane to
trap him and allow Long to make the ten count.

(Jericho def. Kane, ten count, **, a long, plundering match that didn’t deliver
on the promise of a crazy brawl.)

(Mick Foley says he’s responsible for this match and he’ll be happy when its
over.)

(Shawn Michaels is entertaining the fans at WWF New York. He talks with JR
about the Hell in a Cell. He said he was guinea pig for the match. He said a
six-man match means anything can happen. He said it’s tailor-made for the
Undertaker and in the cell he’s a different man.)

Tag-Team Title Turmoil! Edge & Christian vs. The Goodfather & Bull
Buchanan vs. The Dudley Boys vs. Road Dog & K-Kwik

Well we a lot of explaining to do here. The champions are the Right to Censor
Group. K-Kwik is also known as R-Truth. Road Dog was the doctor of
thug-o-nomics long before that smiley punk John Cena. One fall wins the titles
here.

RTC jumps the Dudleys to start until the ref chases Goodfather. D- Von gets a
flying back elbow on Bull but he responds with a big boot. Goodfather with the “Legal
Escorts” train but he tries it again and gets clotheslined. Road Dog tags
himself in and Goodfather tags Road Dog. Edge tags himself in and he pounds on
Road Dog and mocks the Dudleys. Four men in the ring and in a cute spot Bubba
Ray and Road Dog do Road Dog’s punching combo on Edge and Christian but they
turn on each other for the double knockout. Resetting things and Road-Dog and
K-Kwik with a double hip toss and a legdrop/elbow drop combo on Edge. Side heel
kick from K-Kwik but Christian bails out his bro and they go to work on K-Kwik’s
shoulder. They are cutting the ring off in a quarter and I’m appreciating it.
Kwik fights back but Edge with an armbar DDT for two. Goodfather enters the
ring with a rest hold because…that’s what a match with eight men needs.
Buchanan in with an elevated armbar and Edge tags himself in but K-Kwik makes
the hot tag to Bubba Ray. He cleans house on the Suicide Blonds and then Right
to Censor. We’ve got like six men in the ring. Road Dog dumps Goodfather and
Buchanan. Kwik tries to do a plancha on both men but they catch him with a
double slam. Road Dog with a double clothesline on them but Stevie Richards
hits a Stevie kick on Road Dog. Back in the ring the Dudleys give Edge the “Wuzzup”
drop and they grab a table. A table clothesline on RTC and a back in the ring a
Doomsday Device (!!) on Edge. Christian interrupts the count and Buchanan comes
in the ring but he gets a 3D and Goodfather gets a 3D. Christian in the ring
and ANOTHER Wuzzup Drop. D-Von goes for the table but Stevie Richards with a
DDT on D-Von. Edge with a spear on Bubba Ray in the ring for two. Christian
gives Bubba Ray the unprettier and that’s enough to get the pinfall.

(Edge & Christian def. World, pinfall, ***, hot finish really pumped this
one up a bit.)

(Meanwhile Stephanie tries to talk sense into Triple H but he doesn’t care
because the title is the most important thing in the world to him. Corny but I
miss these sort of passionate promos from competitors that actually made the
World championship seem like it was everything.)

Intercontinental Championship: “The One” Billy Gunn vs. Chris Benoit

Gunn is the champion. Stop laughing. Seriously he’s the champion going into
this match. Benoit lays in the stiff shots but Gunn with a drop-toe hold and a
couple of armdrags. A hip toss slam from Gunn gets two and he sends Benoit over
the top rope. Out to the floor they go and Benoit is run into the post but he
sends a charging Gunn into the steel steps. Back in the ring the Benoit decides
to work on the knee with some nastiness. Kneebreaker is countered into a sunset
flip for two but Benoit with a dropkick to the knee. Benoit with a sit down
splash on the knee and a nasty legwhip take down. Figure four from Benoit and
the crowd even in 2000 was quick to add the ‘Whooooooo’. Benoit tortures Gunn
for a bit but Billy turns it over until Benoit reaches the ropes. Gunn tries to
turn the tide with a corner whip but he misses a charge and Benoit with the
rolling German suplexes. Benoit misses the swan dive headbutt, however. Gunn
tries to rally, a powerslam gets two and he adds a press slam and a jackhammer.
Gunn gets the Fameasser but Benoit kicks out at two. Gunn goes for a cobra
clutch but Benoit counters it with the crossface but Gunn gets to the ropes.
Benoit argues with the ref and Gunn goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam but he botches
it…or he sold the knee injury…I think it was a botch. Gunn reverses a corner
whip but his charge hits boot this time. Back suplex from Benoit gets two. Gunn
tries a small package for two but Benoit gets the second crossface on him and
Gunn taps out.

(Benoit def. Gunn, submission, **1/2, mostly Benoit beating the shit out of the
overmatched Gunn.)

(JR and Stone Cold are chatting and JR talks about how it ruined Foley and HBK’s
career. Stone Cold says you can’t prepare for this match and it’s going to be
flat out brutal. Typical Stone Cold stuff.)

Triple Threat Match for Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus vs. Ivory

Ivory’s Amish girl get up is hilarious. She really owned that character. Molly
beats the crap out of Trish to start as Ivory observes. Trish back with a
monkey flip and Molly lands on her feet but walks into a clothesline from
Ivory. Molly foils Ivory and Trish’s double team with a drop kick. Ivory and
Trish fight over a double DDT and agree on a double suplex. Ivory cheap shots
Trish and covers Molly for two. They argue and Molly hits a double cross body
for two. Ivory charges Molly and gets dump for her efforts. Molly with a
RUNNING LIGER BOMB (!! ) on Trish but Ivory dumps her and gets the cover for
three. T(est) and A(lbert) come out to antagonize and bully poor Molly but
Crash Holly tries to come to her rescue. T&A see the positive numbers game
and answers his call but the APA return to beat them up. Bradshaw’s clothesline
from Hell on Albert wakes the crowd up.

(Ivory def. Molly & Trish, pinfall, **, all for Molly’s work in the ring)

(Rock electrifies the crowd and does impressions of each of his five
competitors. Naturally the crowd was eating out of his hand.)

6-man Hell in the Cell for WWF World Heavyweight Championship: Kurt Angle vs.
Triple H vs. Rikishi vs. The Undertaker vs. Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Angle is your defending champion. One fall wins. Triple H used his instrumental
theme for whatever reason. I’m guessing they just loaded the wrong one into the
sound system because he was using “My Time” at this point.

Austin is the last to be introduced as four men stand in the cell and Angle
holds off. Austin grabs Angle before going in and let the mayhem begin! Paired
out we have Austin-HHH, Rock-Rikish and Angle-Undertaker. No one is in the ring
yet. Now Undertaker-Angle go in as the door is chained shut. Undertaker with a
corner clothesline on Angle for a two count. Undertake chokes Angle out with a bandanna as Rock and Rikishi are in the ring. Rock with a flying lariat sends
Rikishi back to the floor. HHH and Austin in the ring, HHH with a face buster
but Austin with the Lou Thesz press and the ground and pound. Fuck you elbow
gets a two count. Austin chokes HHH on the middle rope and hits a running sit
down splash for two. Now Angle tosses Rock in the ring. HHH hits the Harley
Race high knee on Austin and wraps his leg around the post. In the ring, Rock
gets on Angle and hits a samoan drop for two. Angle hits Rock with an elbow and
they all tumble to the floor again. Undertaker and Angle in the ring and Angle
out of the ring. On the floor HHH gives Austin a suplex. Right now the pair
offs are Angle-Rikishi and Undertaker-HHH. Austin goes after HHH himself and
Rock jumps back on Rikishi. Clothesline from Austin to HHH and he starts
grinding HHH’s face in the cage. He works HHH around the cage and we have our
first bleeder of the night. I think this was HHH’s fourth bloodletting in a PPV
that year. Rikishi is choking Undertaker on the fence but Austin is just using
HHH’s face as a cheese grater. Ewwww. They try to get back in the ring but
Rikishi drops a leg on the back of Austin’s neck. Ouch. Rikishi helps HHH up
and they hug so naturally HHH gives him a pedigree for two. Rock and HHH face
off and Rock with a floatover DDT for two. Angle makes the save and he gives
Rock the Olympic slam for two. Austin made the save. Stone Cold Stunner for Angle
gets a huge pop and a two count. Undertaker with a chokeslam on Austin for two.
HHH with the save and we’re back to square one. Undertaker introduces HHH to
the cage on all corners as HHH is bleeding like a stuck pig. Undertaker spears
HHH into the cage. In the ring Austin drops Rikishi with a clothesline and he
clotheslines Undertaker over the top, he landed on his feet of course. Lou
Thesz Press and ground and pound for Rikishi as…Vince comes to the ring and has
brought a mulch truck with him. Undertaker sends Austin into the cage twice as
Vince wants to tie the truck to the cell and pull it down. The door was ripped
off but McMahon isn’t satisfied! In the ring Rikishi with a butt splash on Rock
but Rock comes back with a clothesline as the construction man ties chains to
the cell.

Mick Foley now comes down and demands the stooges and McMahon leave. He beats
up Patterson and Brisco and has security escort McMahon from the ring. Meanwhile
HHH escapes the cage and Austin goes out after him. Austin with a clothesline
to the back of the head and he sends HHH into one of those demolition cars.
Austin grabs a camera on a crane and shoots it into HHH. Another f-u elbow.
Meanwhile the other four men have left the cage. Austin continues pounding away
but HHH sends Austin through the window of the construction truck and he is
bleeder No. 2. Rock with a double noggin knocker on Rikishi and Angle. Rock
goes back to beat up on HHH and he slams him into the area with the cars. Rock
and HHH stand on the hood of a car and Rock goes for the Rockbottom but HHH
counters, goes low and hits the pedigree. Rock becomes the third bleeder. Undertaker
knocks down Angle and Rikishi. Austin sends Rikishi into a car as HHH works on
the Rock’s cut. Undertaker slams Angle on the hood of a car. Austin grabs HHH
and catapult him into a car window. The window does break. Angle tries to win a
slugfest with Undertaker. Austin tries to maim HHH with an oil drum but misses.
Some of the guys are heading back to the ringside area. Undertaker thwaps Angle
with the mic and chokes him with the cord. Everyone back to ringside or close
by. Angle with a chair and he smokes Undertaker with a nasty head shot and he
is bleeder number four. HHH climbs to the top of the cell while Undertaker
sends Angle over the ring barricade. Austin is climbing the cage as well as
they fight on top of the cage. HHH teeters on the edge but he fights back. Now
Angle is climbing the cage as Austin hits a stunner on HHH. Austin goes to
beating up Angle and now Undertaker joins the party at the top of the cell.
Undertaker rams Angles head into one of the support beams. HHH goes low on
Austin as Angle is bleeding as well bringing the count to five. HHH climbs down
and Austin follows him while Undertaker and Angle continue their fight. Rikishi
starts to climb and he gets to the top. Undertaker, gets a chair from somewhere
and kills Angle dead with a chair shot. Rikishi grabs the chair and he takes on
both men. Angle descends from the cage and Undertaker now pounds on Rikishi as
they fight to the edge of the cage. Austin and HHH are in the ring as
Undertaker has Rikishi teetering on the edge and chokeslams from the top of the
cage to the bed of the truck. It was covered thoroughly with mulch and I think
I see a mattress in there too so it’s a fairly safe landing.

Meanwhile in the ring, Rock and Austin face off to a mega pop. Slugfest is
even, Austin goes for the stunner but Rock counters and gets a spinebuster.
Rock makes the gesture for the people’s elbow but HHH with a clothesline. Rock
hammers on HHH and sends him over the top with a right hand. Angle charges and
gets a Rockbottom! Two count as Austin makes the save. Austin finally gets the
stunner on the Rock but HHH makes the save and gives Austin a neckbreaker,
meanwhile Angle inches his hand on the Rock and gets the pin! Angle tries to
celebrate but Austin gives him a stunner because he’s a sore loser.

(Angle def. Rikishi, Rock, Austin, HHH, Undertaker, pinfall, ****1/4, just a wild,
crazy, ridiculous brawl featuring the guys that have defined a generation of
wrestling…and Rikishi.)

The Bottom Line: Well this was the final WWF offering for 2000 and it capped
out a tremendous year, arguably the best wrestling year the promotion has ever
had. This card itself was a mixed bag. The main event delivered but the
undercard wasn’t great and certainly below the expectations they had established months earlier. They tried a few things out of the ordinary in the
final couple months of 2000 but going into 2001 they were going back to what
brought them glory – Benoit leading a strong mid-card, Edge and Christian &
The Dudleys ruling the tag teams and a build to Rock-Austin II. The result was arguably the best Royal Rumble of the 2000s and the best Wrestlemania to date.