2nd Annual Battle of the WWF Superstars (All Dream Matches!)

2ND BATTLE OF THE WWF SUPERSTARS:
(Release Date: June 27th 1991)
* Oh yeah! It’s time for another WWF tape! They put a ton of these up on their YouTube channel, giving us a lot of midcard supremacy as guys put in half-efforts against one another during 3 hour house show tapings! You know this is a big one because Sean Mooney, 4th-tier commentator, is your host, doing a “Boot Camp”. But first parodying Patton while a trumpet plays reveille. It’s funny seeing him make intense faces while his voice is the same old unemotive he always was. This one’s got a ton of “1991-era” talent on it, as Mr. Perfect defends the IC Title against Roddy Piper, Bret Hart takes on the Barbarian, Hacksaw Jim Duggan & Sgt. Slaughter have a Flag Match in MSG, Ted DiBiase faces Tugboat, and the Nasty Boys face the Bushwhackers! There’s even a Title match as the Ultimate Warrior defends against Macho King Randy Savage! lmao and someone put JAKE ROBERTS vs. KATO on this thing, too!

This seems to be set before and after WrestleMania VII, with Mr. Perfect the IC Champion and the Nasty Boys possibly not being Tag Champions yet during their match (but would have been by the time of release), but Slaughter is shown with the WWF Title in HIS bout, as is the Warrior later in the tape. Our hosts are Sean Mooney & Lord Alfred Hayes, which is the worst possible combination- Mooney was so banal and uninteresting, and Hayes only ever had chemistry with Gorilla doing “back in our day” old-man stuff and only half-heartedly shows appreciation to heels so there’s no emotional “bite” to anything.

Naturally, we start with an ad for WrestleFest ’91 (which I already covered), with the host Randy Savage himself coming in to hype it up.

WWF INTERCONTINTENTAL TITLE:
MR. PERFECT (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. ROWDY RODDY PIPER:
(Feb. 18th, Orlando)
* Oh boy, clean finish time! Piper had been back in the WWF for a while and was generally always treated as an Upper-Level guy without being in Main Events- feuding with Bad News Brown, Rick Rude and others.

A fun pre-fight bit sees Perfect look up Roddy’s skir– uh, kilt and slap him, so Piper makes a show of taking off his t-shirt SUPER quickly so he won’t take his eyes off Perfect, and responds to more slaps by whipping his kilt over the man’s head and beating his ass, leaving Perfect scurrying out of the ring, totally incensed. Perfect takes a bump off a Roddy elbow, but when he starts throwing jabs, Piper just calmly pulls the admonishing ref out of the way and prepares for good old FISTICUFFS himself, putting up the dukes. Everything Piper throws misses by like six inches but thankfully Perfect doesn’t sell them and just flails around and bails, getitng frustrated. Humorously commentary acts like they all connected with his chin but Perfect isn’t selling damage at all as the ref does a lightning-fast count to get him back into the ring. Piper no-sells some chops and slaps Perfect around, throws him about by the hair and Perfect crotches himself on the post and HEENAN gets clobbered, doing a masterful sell to the floor and bailing so Piper can give chase and get nailed from behind. But Piper immediately wins the brawl and leaves Perfect reeling in the ring, rubber-banding him back up by grabbing the front of his tights for more punches until Perfect flat-backs off a final one. Roddy even no-sells EYE-GOUGING, just gobbling up Perfect and pantsing him so he’s in his black trunks and throws jabs to humiliate him further. Well the crowd is loving it. Perfect finally gets him to sell for more than 2 seconds by strangling him with the tights, and a rope-run sees them both down from a double-clothesline.

Piper’s up second and gets his ass kicked, now generously selling as he flops all over the ring from Perfect beating him down- Perfect gets dressed in between beatings and boots him all over the place, undoing the turnbuckle pad but Piper lands on him from a suplex for two. Perfect with an inside cradle, countered, then again, and Piper sunset flips him and catches him with a neckbreaker when Perfect ducks. But Piper lands on the ref on the kickout, letting Perfect blast him into the steel bolt sight unseen and Piper’s flat on the mat. The ref accuses Perfect of CHICANERY but of course saw nothing, and “Now you’re gonna see… a PerfectPlex!” as Roddy is doing the “death sell” where he can’t even be budged on the mat. Perfect has to haul his limp corpse up to execute the move as commentary is admonishing him for not just covering, but Piper KICKS OUT, having had more than a minute to recover! He sells like he just woke up but with a rising anger inside him as Perfect tries to bean him again, but Roddy stops with two hands JUST short of the steel bolt and has this enraged look on his face, beating up Perfect and slamming him right into it, and you don’t have to ASK Perfect to oversell that, doing a forward flip off the bottom rope and walking into another ass-kicking. Perfect bails but goes into the stairs twice, then gets whipped by Roddy’s belt, but the ref’s count just keeps going as Perfect goes up instead of back in the ring and gets crotched up top and falls out, and it’s a Count-Out at (12:19). Perfect tries to sneak in again but takes MORE ass-kickings, flipping over on a belt shot and landing with his legs in a Figure-Four pose as Piper’s hand is raised with the belt (which he didn’t win).

It’s funny how Piper’s such a selfish no-seller yet a masterful seller all at the same time, as he spends the first six minutes just eating Perfect alive and selling NOTHING, but once Perfect cheats Piper is flopping around, looking dead, and doing a great “I DED” flat-back sell on the mat and having to be deadlifted into a Perfect-Plex. They put an incredible amount of stuff into only 12 minutes, Perfect actually being a tad restrained from his normal “flip all over the ring” selling and that made it better when he went into the steel turnbuckle and flung himself halfway across it. Piper being a weak mat guy and whiffing on every single punch would ordinarily hold him back but he’s one of the S-Tier “in-ring actors” so that carried the day, especially as Perfect looked helpless and annoyed, then overconfident against him.

Rating: ***1/2 (wildly fun with an amusing story and great selling)

THE BUSHWHACKERS vs. THE NASTY BOYS (w/ Jimmy Hart):
(Jan. 21st, MSG)
* This is our “Fan Favorite” of the tape, in which young fans would write in dream matches and the WWF would answer! I wonder if these were worked. I mean you wouldn’t imagine anyone would request THIS, but the Bushwhackers were indeed popular with kids! Kevin Roback wants to see this one! No music for the Nasty Boys at this time. They’re in Madison Square Garden. Butch was actually 46 at this point, Luke 43. Given that’s my age, I can rightly say the road was ROUGH on these guys, at least facially (their physiques aren’t bad for their age, honestly). No entrance for the Nasty Boys, which I realized after figuring out when the tape was is because they weren’t tag champs when this was taped and they didn’t wanna show that.

Knobs throws punches but overshoots and flops into the corner, immediately hiding in the ropes while desperately trying to be left alone while Sags jaws with the MSG crowd. Sags tries to cheat but gets caught and both Nasties are flung into one another (great bump by both) and eat double-clotheslines and shitcan to the floor. The Bushwhackers keep getting suckered in grapples as the Nasties intercept with boots, Sags using it to work over Butch, but Butch counters a whip and then whips Luke in with a clothesline- Knobs saves, but immediately gets beat up and the Nasties both eat the Battering Ram! Thankfully both end up on the floor while the Bushwhackers do their walk and MSG cheers. Back to the match, Knobs distracts Luke and Sags comes in from behind, and Knobs adds a chair on the floor! Luke no-sells a turnbuckle shot but gets wiped out from behind by Knobs and the Nasties drop elbows on him while Butch is removed from the ring. Too bad Luke doesn’t budge an inch while selling- he just lies there. Knobs whips him into the corner and provokes Butch so the Nasties can hit a Boston Crab/elbowdrop combo. But finally Sags goes flying into the corner and Butch comes in off the tag, beating up Knobs and hitting running attacks on both until Sags pushes him off the pin. Luke breaks up a pin off Knobs’s clothesline and all four are in the ring, allowing Luke to headbutt Knobs over out of a powerslam and Sags has to break up THAT pin, but the ref is distracted by shenanigans (Jimmy Hart cleverly luring Luke away by provoking him) and Sags hits the always lethal Interfering Elbow off the second rope and Knobs gets the pin at (7:51). haha imaging poor Kevin Roback requesting this, probably hoping the Bushwhackers would win. FUCK YOU, Kevin Roback!

About as good as a Nasty Boys/Bushwhackers match was going to be. The ‘Whackers were over at times but were obviously the lowest-tier babyface duo and both were WASHED physically so could only hit clotheslines and pose- Luke was so beat up he couldn’t even sell having these fatasses drop onto him. They kept the match moving, though- the heels had to do separate heat sequences on each guy and repeatedly cheat, but they managed to shake up what was going on that they got 8 solid minutes out of this.

Rating: ** (not good but hardly as bad as an 8-minute Bushwhackers match could be)

BRET “HITMAN” HART vs. THE BARBARIAN (w/ Bobby Heenan):
(???)
* An interesting combo, as they feuded while Bret was IC Champion, too. Barbarian was in an interesting zone, as he was huge but had 0 charisma so was kind of set as a tag guy/midcard threat, but Bret tended to take on other “good workers” similar in size during his rise as a singles star. These two actually fought 34 times in 1991, Barbarian being slotted in as an easy “job” to guys on Bret’s level.

Bret quickly tries to counter a hiptoss with his own but gets crushed by a clothesline and Barbarian goes right into the slow-ass “Walk & Stomp” routine. Lord Alfred puts over his “indifference to the suffering of others” as the crowd very quickly gets bored. Barbarian climbs to the 2nd rope and does his “walk off the rope” elbow and misses, Bret pulling himself up by the ropes and blocking a punch to hit his own, then doing an inverted atomic drop into 10 punches in the corner. Russian legsweep & Bret elbow gets two as the fat, old ref is WAY out of position on that one. Running clothesline gets two and he glares at the ref as I marvel at the psychology- Barbarian looks like he could pull Bret’s arms and legs off and Bret’s decided to use punches and clotheslines against him? But he tries another clothesline and takes a snap powerslam for two. Barbarian puts his head down early and Bret tries to use his early Piledriver finish, but gets backdropped out- he tries to use a sunset flip, but Barbarian slugs him, only to carelessly cover him and flex, allowing Bret to swing his legs up and complete the flip for the pin at (4:08). Good pop for that! The only one of the match, really.

It’s kinda funny they still had them wrestle a billion times this year after THAT sub-par match- Bret using fisticuffs against such a huge opponent looks funny (even though he’s not exactly puny), but I guess Barbarian isn’t the guy you wanna try to do the “slowly wear down with mat wrestling holds” work with. And Barbarian’s “level” of guys were ideally situated to do jobs to rising stars. Of course it’s only 4 minutes long and half of that was Barbarian doing the “Stomp, then stand around and yell, then stomp again” thing. At least the ending puts over Bret’s intelligence and counter-wrestling- this was a big early part of his push, establishing that the former tag guy was REALLY clever and could slickly outmart guys by taking every little advantage.

Rating: *1/2 (astonishingly low by Bret standards, but it’s not like they got a lot of time)

Trivia time with Hulk Hogan: he uses the term “Hulkamaniacs” six times in barely a minute and asks fans what the symbol of his movement was. It’s apparently “Hulk Rules” friendship bracelets. Also “The Pink & Black Attack” are the Hart Foundation, Bobby Heenan had trouble with the Boss Man for insulting his mother (Bobby, who’d sinced begged off and apologized, disingenuously says he was sorry and she’s “lovely” while laughing his ass off), Jake Roberts was blinded by Arrogance perfume, and Mr. Perfect’s move is the PerfectPlex.

JAKE “THE SNAKE” ROBERTS vs. KATO (w/ Mr. Fuji & Tanaka):
(Feb. 18th, Orlando)
* hahahaahah KATO! On a commercial tape! This was the kind of guy they would throw out there to eat 3-minute jobs in the middle of Prime Time Wrestling, not show up on the tape, but I guess a win’s a win. Paul Diamond was a good worker but couldn’t promo so… masked Kato it was. He’s got his manager AND his partner with him, too, increasing the drama. Jake’s in those flashy 1991 tights with the navy blue and the neon yellow bits. Kato’s in red baggy pants and mask. This is obviously from the same taping as Perfect/Piper because the same two kids in LOD shoulderpads are on the hard cam.

Jake works the arm to start, holding a wristlock and doing a variety of moves to throw Kato around, using some fists and then tricking Kato with a feint and kneeling down to blast him while he ducks. Jake easily ducks an enzuigiri and goes for the DDT, Kato scurrying away- Jake puts on the breaks while Kato leapfrogs and decks him again and Kato has to escape the DDT twice more and freaks out after nearly touching the bag with the snake in it. Tanaka hits the apron but Jake nonetheless spots Kato coming in from behind and knocks him around again, but Kato gets his knee up in the corner and works Jake over. A karate punch stuns him and Fuji fires a cane shot into Jake’s neck from behind. Jake writhes off that, then takes a punch from Tanaka, as their only way to build drama is to make it 3-on-1. Elbowdrop gets two & Kato chinlocks Jake, but Jake uses a jawjacker, his punch combo, and the short clothesline to signal the DDT, finally waking up the crowd. But Tanaka sneaks in and decks him! Kato can only throw a punch before Jake floats behind him and plants him with the DDT, but this draws Tanaka in for the Disqualification (7:03). Jake fires off his punches into Tanaka, then Fuji when he tries to get close, and unleashes Lucifer from the bag (I believe before Earthquake skooshed Damien, in fact) and chases Fuji off. Interesting that they’d book a low-end tag guy against Jake and end up with nobody taking the snake (though Jake wins only by DQ, he looks good fighting off 3 people at once). Granted Fuji would probably respond by cooking it IRL.

Rating: ** (pretty generic but fine- Kato does some solid bumping off Jake’s stuff and Jake worked the arm pretty well for a guy who often defaulted to “lie there and plead” while selling)

It’s a profile on “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, as he shows his “Hall of Fame”, which is just 2x4s that are special to him. He has one signed by celebrities… James Woods, Woody Harrelson, and “The Chairman of the Board” Frank Sinatra.

FLAG MATCH:
SGT. SLAUGHTER (w/ General Adnan) vs. “HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN (w/ Hulk Hogan):
(March 15th, MSG)
* This is before Slaughter won his country back by… looking sad in interviews. He’s actually shown with the WWF Title here (as we’ll see, it shows up frequently post-match), revealing this tape is pre-WM. Back to MSG for this one, and Hulk Hogan comes out in military fatigues to drum up support for Duggan. Hayes suggests that “they didn’t need Hulk Hogan over there” (Iraq) as the war was over quickly, but they confess that he’d have probably ended it far more quickly! The rules for the match are… the winner gets to raise their flag. So it’s just a normal match with a victory stip. But it’s for the Title, per Finkel’s announcements.

Slaughter bends over at old-man speed trying to pick up the 2×4, causing Duggan to punch him a dozen times (Slaughter barely moving from a T-pose before rolling to the floor), then stomp on his hand. A lockup ends up in the ropes, but next time it’s Duggan who attacks him on the break, flipping Slaughter over and kicking his ass. Slaughter goes ass-over-teakettle after being launched into the top of the post, trying to outdo Mr. Perfect for overselling on this tape, and he gets backdropped and pratfalls after nearly bailing right into Hogan. But Duggan puts his head down and gets leveled with a kick. Duggan does his “grab the ring apron” sell while being choked in the ropes, then Adnan throttles him to lure in Hogan, who of course gets warned off by the ref. Slaughter drops an elbow and stops a comeback via a sleeperhold. Duggan does a hilarious cross-eyed face in the hold as he finally goes down, holding his arm up at “3” and Slaughter ends up on the ringpost again. But Duggan misses an elbow and Slaughter’s back on him- this MUST be the main event if they’re going this long. Slaughter pulls hair as his own is a MESS (making him look extra-old) and he starts plugging his ears to avoid the boos. Backbreaker gets two. Slaughter hits a flying kneedrop of all things- he’s so big it looks dangerous but he does it so smoothly it has zero impact as he just rolls across Duggan. Hogan starts a “USA!” chant but Sarge boots him in the back (hee), but Hogan responds by shoving him off the top rope into a splattering face bump! But he saves Adnan from Hogan, smashing the Hulkster with a chair and choking him with a cable (wait, doesn’t this happen in their WrestleMania match? Are they practicing spots?).

Duggan hasn’t risen from the mat in two solid minutes (which is INSANE given his usual selling tendencies), and Slaughter easily takes right back over after kicking Hogan’s ass and puts him in the Camel Clutch, but that DASTARDLY CHEATER Hulk Hogan runs in with the 2×4 and smashes Slaughter in the back! Slaughter hadn’t even done anything illegal yet! Except some choking and that Adnan bit! Both guys try to beat the TKO count, but alternate each one getting up before collapsing, restarting the count, and finally Duggan just rolls over to pin Slaughter and Adnan runs in for the Disqualification at (12:59)- Duggan wins! Hogan runs in to fight dirty once more, but Adnan heroically throws salt in his eyes to do two wrongs and thus make a right. Hogan gets pummelled with boots & board-shots, then Duggan, and Slaughter jabs at Hogan with the Iraqui flag. The ref army gets involved, desperately trying to save Hogan from the results of his own dirty fighting, but Slaughter & Adnan throw them around (Adnan- who once wrestled as a Native American- tomahawk chops the fat old man ref in a funny spot). Interestingly, the babyfaces are both left utterly laying while Slaughter retains his title and doesn’t get his comeuppance, but Adnan tries to retrieve the belt and Hogan chases him down and flings him into the ring, LAUNCHES Dave Hebner over the top rope, and ignores Adnan’s pleaing and praying, but Duggan comes in with the 2×4 to the back and smashes Adnan, sending him scurrying away. Duggan gets to raise the American flag.

Well, it was a 13-minute Hacksaw Duggan match and it wasn’t awful- that’s something! Slaughter was a pretty good “Walk & Stomp” guy, able to shake up the offense and milk moves after hitting them to draw out a match and the selling. Duggan is normally a pretty bad seller so he was pretty generous with Slaughter, never mind the end where he has to sell death for 2-3 minutes and can’t even get his heat back until he has to hit a manager from behind. Focusing on Hogan and outside shenanigans was the smart play, as it builds heat for WrestleMania for the NYC locals. Slaughter bumping his ass off at 43 years old or whatever looks more impressive in retrospect.

Rating: **1/2 (not GOOD really, but like… above-average)

More Duggan shenanigans, as we meet Woody, the only man allowed to cut Duggan’s wood. An old man in a sweater-vest and sunglasses for his safety gear shows up and cuts a piece of lumber off, Hacksaw cheering on the “nice clean cut” as even I can see tons of splinters sticking off.

“HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN vs. SMASH (w/ Mr. Fuji):
(April 16th, Cedar Rapids, Iowa)
* Another “Star vs. Tag Guy” match, though by this point Smash was going Crush-less and was just a filler dude, doing jobs up and down the card to midcarders. I think a good chunk of 1991 tapes have stuff like the Dragon beating him.

They lock up tightly to start, going into the corner, then the other, but Smash takes advantage of a ref-break to slug Duggan, only to get clotheslined down three times and bailing. Duggan knocks him down again with Popeye-style punches, but Smash catches him with his head down and slugs away, choking him in the ropes (there’s that apron-grab again) and lets Fuji choke him with his cane. Smash does a slow beatdown and puts on a lethal submission hold consisting of lightly putting his hands on Duggan’s head and jaw, but Duggan does a thumbs-up and fights out. Smash hits a knee to the gut to drop him for two, then throws some punches and a legdrop and back to the “neck vice”. A “USA!” chant (Parts Unknown must not be in the US) leads to Hacksaw starting his stomp-around no-selling routine, he slugs Smash down and hits ten punches in the corner, then a clothesline, and gets distracted by Mr. Fuji only to dodge- Smash stops before running into his manager, but turns around into the Three Point Stance and Hacksaw picks up the easy win at (6:12).

A pretty simple taped match- Hacksaw was winning so was good enough to let Smash control nearly the entire match until the end- a standard no-selling comeback and a bunch of clotheslines and Smash is done after a brief tease of Fuji getting involved. Pretty lazybones wrestling with some “neck vices” with a hilarious lack of effort put in, and Smash otherwise just threw stomps and punches, not even having his facepaint rub off.

Rating: * (barely worth getting up for)

Savage’s unusual gear for this one.

WWF WORLD TITLE:
THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR vs. “THE MACHO KING” RANDY SAVAGE (w/ Sensational Queen Sherri):
(Probably Jan. 28th, Macon, Georgia)
* Now THIS is a weird one, as it’s obviously before WMVII but features a key feud that blew off there. Savage is still the “Macho King” but in all yellow & black with a cowboy hat and a shirt. Warriror charges down the aisle in white trunks and clotheslines Savage and we’re off.

Warrior, without any facepaint on even, just kicks Savage’s ass as Randy runs all over ringside and gets dragged back in the ring, hit with three terrible clotheslines, press-slammed and PINNED with the Warrior Splash at (1:32)! hahaah WHAT? The fans didn’t even react for the ass-kicking, only popping for the finish- this must have been at the end of a LONG taping. Savage gets flung over the top rope and immediately runs to the locker room with Sherri. A shockingly nothing match considering it’s Warrior/Savage- they were clearly not feeling it and just wanting to dive back into the nose-candy backstage because this was NOTHING. Warrior lifts the WWF Title up as this was probably a quickie title match before even the Rumble. Since Savage was retired at this point they probably saw nothing wrong with this humiliating defeat being shown.

Rating: 1/2* (literally just the Warrior throwing punches, SAWFT clotheslines and his finishing series)

“THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN” TED DIBIASE vs. TUGBOAT:
(WWF Prime Time, Feb. 21st)
* I’ve covered this one before. This Prime Time special has DiBiase going against Tugboat, who by this point was a fading Hogan buddy who’d turn heel in the fall. Ted has just lost Virgil as his bodyguard and has something to prove, and he attacks before the bell- we’re off!

Ted throws kicks and chops, but Tugboat uses his incredible agility to duck under a clothesline and hits Ted with two of his own. Tugboat gets caught “toot”-ing to the crowd and gets attacked from behind, but no-sells and gets ready to murder him- good “I’m pissed” face, but Ted donks him in the eyes with an axehandle and goes to work on him. Tugboat quickly reverses a whip and puts Ted into the corner twice, sending him bailing to wait out the clock. He takes FOREVER, looking to the curtain and such, and again comes in and tries an Irish whip and getting reversed- this time into a back elbow. He flees AGAIN, dodging an elbowdrop, but this time gets chased and catches Tugboat coming back in. He goes to work with punches and elbows (it’s always funny to me how much of a BRAWLER Ted actually was- he’s so smooth that you think he’s a technician but in the WWF it’s almost all strikes with him), does ANOTHER whip and takes two shots to bring Tugger down with clotheslines, leading to his fistdrops and choking. Tugboat finally comes back outside the ring, shoving Ted into the ringpost and smashing him about out there, and starts skooshing him in the corner! But he turns around to jaw with the ref and DiBiase locks in the Million Dollar Dream! But he’s so strong he’s able to just smash Ted into the corner (the fan reaction is, shall we say, extra-loud compared to the excitement level shown by the fans on-screen), but when he tries an Avalanche, DiBiase dodges him and rolls him up for the three (6:44)! Oh come on- who would believe Ottman could be that clumsy? But OOOOOOOOOOOF a clean finish pinning Tugboat. Poor Fred! He jobbed to DiBiase and the Undertaker really close together.

A pretty weak match by DiBiase’s standards, as he has to deal with a big, slower brawler and his own style is ALSO brawling, so it’s a weird mix. That nearly every bit of offense came off an Irish whip was a curious choice- it creates some movement and excitement for what would otherwise be a plodding slugfest I suppose, but so much of the match was just Tugboat weakly leaning back and eating chops and punches. He’s not exactly a compelling seller and is too big to be believably that vulnerable, and a “wear him down with holds” match would be even MORE boring so it’s not like that was an option. Just a fairly quick match designed to heat up DiBiase a bit following Virgil turning on him.

Rating: *1/2 (very weak TV match)

“THE BRITISH BULLDOG” DAVEY-BOY SMITH & THE LEGION OF DOOM (Hawk & Animal) vs. THE WARLORD & POWER AND GLORY (Hercules & Paul Roma, w/ Slick)
(WWF Prime Time, Feb. 4th 1991)
* An interesting mish-mash of guys, it puts all of Slick’s guys (midcarders all) against some of the top babyfaces of the time- the rising Bulldog and Power & Glory. Notably, all of them had feuds with one another- LOD/P&G and Bulldog/Warlord are WrestleMania feuds.

Hawk starts with Roma, eating some punches like he’s already F’d up on something, but catches and slams him. He aims for his flying clothesline already like a dumbass, but comes back with a dropkick. Roma leads him on a chase to take the lead back, but puts his head down and eats a neckbreaker- weird that they’re having HAWK beat Roma using speed. Animal/Warlord go, and holy shit that would be drawing “MEAT!” chants today, and sure enough, they do ROIDED GUY NO-SOLD SHOULDERBLOCKS- Animal uses a gut-kick and clothesline to put Warlord down, but misses an elbowdrop thanks to Warlord’s famous agility. Herc comes in and hits three straight running moves and these guys are all moving FAST tonight- you can tell it’s WrestleMania season and they all want pushes. Animal crushes him with a clothesline, and it’s over to Bulldog, who whips Herc around but puts his head down and gets clobbered. Warlord spams elbowdrops (!), but puts HIS head down and nearly ends up Powerslammed, but Roma saves him. The heels repeatedly double-team Davey-Boy’s back as the pace finally slows after minutes of guys tearing around, and Warlord puts Bulldog in his Full Nelson submission! Goddammit you can tell Mooney & Hayes suck because they’re not calling out that Warlord doesn’t have his fingers locked- Monsoon woulda been all over that shit. Especially as Bulldog gets the big power-spot of using HORSE STEROIDS to power out, but that provokes the heels and immediate the ref calls for the bell at (7:16). AWWWW BOOOOOOOOOOO that coulda been good! You anus! Animal big boots Herc, Roma gets whipped past Warlord full-nelsoning Bulldog again and clotheslined, and Warlord just leaves Bulldog laying at the end.

Too bad- the match was REALLY hotly contested to start, everyone going out of their way to impress the agents by tearing around the ring at top speed (even WARLORD), but ultimately it slows down with heat on the Bulldog, then it’s a DDQ right away. We didn’t get a lot of really cool spots or near-falls despite the hot start.

Rating: **1/4 (starts out fun but slows down and never picks up into “real match” territory)

Overall, this tape would have been a big disappointment. It’s a good thing these were only rentals for the most part back in the day- you’d see them at the video store and go “Hey, why not?” and see 8 Featured Matches instead of 1 Featured Match and 7 squashes in two hours! Though this has “1991 Slop” all over it- tons of bad finishes, weak matches, guys obviously half-assing it on the 2nd-last match of a taping, etc. Bret beating Barbarian with a flash-pin in 4 minutes, Jake winning over Kato by DQ, Warrior squashing Randy Savage in less than TWO MINUTES, a count-out and three total DQs. At least the opener is very fun and good, and Slaughter/Duggan is better than I expected given the time.