What the World Was Watching: Royal Rumble 1996

Vince McMahon and Mr. Perfect commentate, live from Fresno, California. According to thehistoryofwwe.com, a sellout crowd of 9,600 fans attended. According to Wrestlenomics, the show drew a 1.10 buyrate (269,000 domestic buys), higher than the 1.0 of the previous year (194,000 domestic buys). This was the highest buyrate for a Royal Rumble pay-per-view since 1993.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, attempting to talk with an accent, tells Todd Pettengill in the aisle that WWF President Gorilla Monsoon has lost his mind by having him wrestle for the #30 spot in the Royal Rumble.

Duke Droese is also interviewed by Pettengill. He promises to win, get the #30 spot, and win the Rumble later in the evening.

Free for All: Duke Droese (1-0) beats Hunter Hearst Helmsley via reverse decision at 6:25:

Helmsley jumped to the WWF from WCW in early 1995, ditching a planned push for he and Steven Regal that would have reportedly led to the WCW Tag Team titles. While in WCW Helmsley wrestled as Frenchman Jean Paul Levesque, a personality he brought to the WWF except he was recast as a Greenwich, Connecticut snob because McMahon hated how his neighbors looked down at him. Helmsley assembled an undefeated televised record in 1995, mowing through enhancement talents before beating Bob Holly at SummerSlam. He finished off Doink the Clown’s run in the company in October and later that month beat Fatu at In Your House 4. His first feud took place at the end of the year, triumphing over Henry Godwinn in a hog pen match at In Your House 5. Backstage, Helmsley was part of the Kliq faction with Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Scott Hall, and the 1-2-3 Kid, which greatly helped him navigate the WWF’s backstage politics. The fact that he was a Killer Kowalski trainee helped too.

Droese and Helmsley drew the two blanks in the Royal Rumble drawing and wrestle this match, the first ever of the Free for All concept, where the winner gets #30 and the loser gets #1. Droese has a quick offensive flurry but goes shoulder-first into the ring post on a blind charge and Helmsley spends time working the body part. Droese stops selling the shoulder in his comeback after catching a Helmsley dive off the top rope with a boot to the face. After a powerslam, Droese calls for his finish but Helmsley floats out of the Trash Compactor. He begs off in the corner and Droese accidentally shoves the referee down. That gives Helmsley room to get out a foreign object, blasting Droese for the pin. But wait! WWF President Gorilla Monsoon is not willing to allow a miscarriage of justice so he walks to the ring, tells referee Tim White what happened, shows an instant replay on the video screen, and the initial decision is reversed. That gives Helmsley the first number in the Rumble and hands him his first televised defeat. When Droese was on offense the match was fun but when he was not, the match was a chore. Rating: *½

As the pay-per-view begins, Sunny is shown in a bathtub, reminding viewers that they are going to see material of a graphic nature.

Opening Contest: Ahmed Johnson (2-0) defeats Jeff Jarrett (2-0) via disqualification when Jarrett hits Ahmed with a guitar off the top rope at 6:39:

Ahmed devastates Jarrett with power offense, which consists of spamming moves where he whips Jarrett into the ropes and slithers across the canvas. When Jarrett bails after a spinebuster, Ahmed follows with a crazy plancha where he comes dangerously close to spiking his head into the concrete floor. Back in, Ahmed misses a somersault dive off the top and Jarrett locks in the figure-four. However, he has not softened up that body part so Ahmed turns it over and escapes. When Jarrett tries it again, Ahmed kicks him out of the ring. Angry that he cannot beat Ahmed with his finish, Jarrett grabs his guitar and flies off the top rope, blasting Ahmed on top of the head. Ahmed does not sell it long, popping up after a minute and racing back to the locker room. The match was moving at a good pace but had a bad finish. Jarrett looked completely ineffective. Rating: *½

Pettengill interviews Diesel, who says he is about to have the time of his life in the Royal Rumble. He acknowledges that his friend Shawn Michaels won last year but thinks Vader needs to prove himself. When it comes to the WWF title match later, Diesel does not care if Bret Hart or the Undertaker wins because he just wants to get the belt back.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The Smoking Gunns (Champions) (3-0) beat the Bodydonnas (w/Sunny) (1-0) when Bart pins Skip with a small package at 11:12:

There is a fun bit early where the Bodydonnas slingshot Billy into the ring and then try to do the same to Bart but he takes his hands off the rope and then later slingshots the Bodydonnas out of the ring, holding down the top rope so Billy can plancha onto the challengers. Since the Bodydonnas have only had one televised match and this title match had little build there is not a lot of heat on them. That causes Sunny to try to make physical overtures to the Gunns to get a reaction. She also plays injured later when Billy inadvertently knocks her off the apron. One does not think of the Gunns as tall men but they tower over the Bodydonnas, something the match books around by having the heels use agility and speed to gain an advantage. The Bodydonnas also take a page out of the Quebecers book by slamming and suplexing each other onto Billy for near falls. A triple KO of the Bodydonnas and Billy allows Bart to get the hot tag and all hell breaks loose when Skip breaks up a pin after Bart drives an elbow into Zip’s face. The Gunns give Zip the Sidewinder but Sunny distracts the referee. Skip dives off the top rope to break the pinfall but surprisingly, Bart kicks out when that spot had been a trademark WWF tag finish for years. The Bodydonnas attempt to double suplex Bart but, in a nice finish, Billy tackles Zip during the move and Bart small packages Skip to retain. This was a really fun title defense, arguably the Gunns best tag match on a pay-per-view, but it was shocking that the Bodydonnas did not win the belts as they were a new act with a red-hot manager. Rating: ***

A video package recaps the Razor Ramon-Goldust feud.

Intercontinental Championship Match: Goldust (w/Unnamed Woman & Usher) (2-0) pins Razor Ramon (Champion) (0-1) after the 1-2-3 Kid interferes to win the title at 14:18:

The woman with Goldust is not named and smokes a cigar. It is Dustin Rhodes’ wife, Terri, a former makeup artist at CNN and WCW, who last appeared in wrestling in early 1990s WCW as Alexandra York of the York Foundation. She sits in a director’s chair for the match that is brought to ringside by an usher. Ramon has one of the worst “I am jobbing” faces on his way to the ring. Goldust’s ring attire has changed, with the body suit having more of a shiny gold color instead of looking like a yellow rug. The challenger draws a lot of heat from his behavior, rubbing himself, rubbing Ramon’s chest during a standing switch, and petting Ramon’s hair in the corner. Stalling is the name of the game, with Goldust taking time on the floor until the eight-minute mark when he hides behind the woman at ringside and attacks Ramon when Ramon moves her out of the way. Ramon kicks out of a bulldog and back suplex, coming back after fighting out of a long chinlock. Goldust kicks out of a chokeslam and fallaway slam but gets crotched going to the top rope, opening the door for Ramon’s trademark super back suplex. This brings the woman into the ring, who feigns a twisted ankle upon the impact of the move. With the referee distracted, the 1-2-3 Kid runs out of the crowd and delivers a nice flying spinning heel kick to the back of Ramon’s head, costing his rival the title. The first half of the match with mind games became tedious but the match found a good groove in its last six minutes. Rating: *½

After the match, Goldust and the woman celebrate with a French kiss.

It is time for some Rumble promos! Dr. Jeffrey Unger says that Shawn Michaels is ready to get back into the ring. Owen Hart puts himself over as the next winner, calling out Michaels. Jake Roberts tells the other 29 competitors that they are going to get a taste of him. Jerry Lawler repeats the royal connection to the Rumble title. Barry Horowitz bills himself as a big underdog and that anything can happen in the WWF. Vader, with Jim Cornette, screams about how it is Vader time as he headbutts a locker. Michaels argues that he won the Rumble once and can do it again.

Shawn Michaels wins the Royal Rumble after eliminating Diesel at 58:50:

Unlike last year, the Rumble is back to two-minute intervals. There are also fewer tag team wrestlers in the match, so that is an upgrade. However, this is the first time that the Rumble is not the last match of the pay-per-view. Due to losing the Free for All, Hunter Hearst Helmsley is #1 and Henry Godwinn is #2. Bob Backlund is #3 and Jerry Lawler is #4, resulting in a triple team on the hog farmer. Lawler grabs Godwinn’s slop bucket but Godwinn fights off the heels to take it back and then throws some of it on Lawler on the arena floor. The ring keeps filling up as Bob Holly is #5 and Mabel is #6. That sets up the return of Jake Roberts as #7, who gets a big pop by unleashing a snake in the ring. At this point, Lawler hides under the ring to prolong his time in the match. It takes fifteen minutes for someone to be eliminated when Yokozuna enters at #9 and throws Backlund out. Shortly after that, Mabel gets a lot of heat in the locker room in his last WWF appearance for a few years by splashing Godwinn’s back and appearing to hurt him. A hobbled Godwinn is quickly tossed by Roberts.

The only feud that plays into this Rumble is Razor Ramon and the 1-2-3 Kid. The Kid enters at #10 but Ramon is quickly on his tail, chasing the Kid through the ring several times. WWF officials eventually force Ramon to the locker room but he gets the loudest reception of anyone in the first third of the match.

There are some curious filler entries in this Rumble, which do not make much of an impact. McMahon even mentions the NWA by noting Dory Funk, Jr.’s entry as a former champion at #8. McMahon says that Terry Funk was invited but opted to wrestle in Germany instead. Dory lasts for about ten minutes before Savio Vega backdrops him out from the apron. Takao Omori of All Japan Pro Wrestling (AJPW) is #11, receiving the Orient Express’ theme music because he is Japanese. He only lasts a few minutes before he is eliminated by Roberts. Doug Gilbert of the USWA receives some hokey Southern music, entering at #14. Vader brutalizes him in the middle of the contest and tosses him out minutes later. A member of the Headhunters enters next, dubbed as part of the Squat Team. Vader tosses him too. Then, the other Squat Team member comes out, joining up with his brother. They both enter the ring to go after Vader, who is glad to fight them and he and Yokozuna make quick work of them.

Speaking of Vader, it is strange that his eliminations do not happen immediately when he comes to the ring. However, the crowd reacts well to his eliminations and likes seeing him fight with Yokozuna. That does not please Jim Cornette, though, who does not his charges fighting each other. Poor Savio is double teamed by the two big men when they temporarily put differences aside, successively avalanching him in the corner and then doing a splash-leg drop follow up. That leads to Savio’s elimination by Vader but the two big men are soon fighting again, causing Vader to lose his mask. When they get close to the ropes that gives an opening for Shawn Michaels, who enters at #18, to quickly dump them both. Vader is a sore loser, hitting Yokozuna in the back of the head and getting back in the ring and gorilla pressing Michaels over the top rope. Vader throws other people out of the ring until WWF President Gorilla Monsoon intervenes and orders Vader from the ring. Fans fear that Michaels has been eliminated because past Rumble precedent would dictate that he is because Giant Gonzalez tossed the Undertaker in 1993 but this year that logic does not stand, so Michaels’ elimination is deemed invalid and he is allowed to continue.

After Vader is eliminated, the match slows down. The big spot is Michaels crawling under the ring and retrieving Lawler, who has been there for more than 20 minutes. One punch from the Heartbreak Kid eliminates the King. Then Diesel arrives at #22, quickly throws out Tatanka, and punches Michaels to show that he is only fighting for himself. But even Diesel does not get a big clear out spot, which has been shelved from this year’s Rumble match.

The Rumble has the weakest star power in its last seven numbers, sending the Ringmaster, Barry Horowitz, Fatu, Isaac Yankem, Marty Jannetty, the British Bulldog, and Duke Droese into the fray. There is little drama in the last stages. Helmsley gets the longevity mark, lasting for 48 minutes before Diesel grabs him and launches him out of the ring. Considering how few names were left, leaving Helmsley for the final four would have been a better plan. Owen and Michaels have some fun battles near the ropes but when Owen goes to toss Michaels after an enzuigiri, Michaels reverses the momentum and Owen ends up on the floor. Again, that would have been a nice spot for the final four to add some drama, as the crowd bit on the enzuigiri. Owen does return later to beat up Michaels on the floor until he is taken away by officials. Surprisingly, there is a clash between Michaels and Jannetty, doing a small mini-match for the crowd before a double KO results. There is also a notable botch at this late stage as plans called for the Ringmaster to be in the final four. However, he was unaware of how slick the ropes got and when he is doing a tease spot with Fatu that was probably supposed to lead to Fatu’s elimination, he falls out. As for Droese, who won the #30 spot earlier in the evening, he only lasts a few minutes, eliminated by Diesel and Kama.

The final four ends up being Michaels, Diesel, the Bulldog, and Kama. Like so much of the match, there is no drama at this stage as the Bulldog fights Michaels and Diesel fights Kama. Michaels slides under the Bulldog’s legs off the apron and knocks him out, getting knocked over the top rope in turn by Kama. However, Michaels skins the cat back in as Diesel throws Kama to the floor. When the former WWF champion turns around, Michaels delivers Sweet Chin Music and Diesel flies over the top rope, making Michaels the second wrestler to win back-to-back Rumbles.

Neither of Michaels’ wins have been great Rumbles. The WWF still does not have enough singles acts that are over and the longer intervals made it tough to watch. Rushing the late stages did not help with the drama of the match either, and it did not make much sense as to why Owen Hart was not pegged as one of the final four people as he and the Bulldog were allies in Cornette’s stable and could have had a two-on-two showdown with Michaels and Diesel. The only thing people could look forward to in this Rumble going in was Michaels against Diesel but fans did not get much of that as a simple Michaels superkick knocked the big man out. This was just an uninspired effort that lacked the charm of prior Rumbles. Rating: **

Diesel attacks the Bulldog in the aisle because he is frustrated about losing. He walks back into the ring as Michaels does a striptease routine but eventually holds his hand up high for Michaels to slap.

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Before the main event, Diesel is in the aisle and confronts the Undertaker. Diesel shoves Paul Bearer, triggering a fight between the two until WWF officials separate them. As Diesel walks to the locker room, he screams at the Undertaker that he is “not afraid of the dark.”

WWF Championship Match: The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) (1-0) defeats Bret Hart (Champion) (0-1) via disqualification when Diesel interferes at 28:30:

The urn makes a comeback, magically reverted from the gold chain Kama made out of it last year. According to Bret, the Undertaker liked the chance to work with him because he could show that he could wrestle. However, this is still zombie Undertaker so the deliberate pace runs counter to a good match. The crowd is also polarized between the two, a problem for babyface-babyface matches. It takes Bret nearly ten minutes to get control, reversing a whip into the ring steps, which hurts the Undertaker’s left knee. So the next portion of the match is Bret working the leg, scoring some near-falls from a figure-four leglock. The crowd tires of this, booing by the fifteen-minute mark. The crowd wakes up for a brawl on the floor where the Undertaker chokes Bret with a microphone cord, throws him into the timekeeper’s table, and hits him with a chair. Some of the fans turn on the Undertaker for that because Bearer distracts the referee to allow the assault to happen. That does not lead to an equal response from Bret, though, as he just goes back to working the leg. Since the Undertaker will not submit, Bret goes into his moves of doom when the Undertaker puts his head down on an Irish whip. Bret does not bother going for a pin after the second rope elbow drop, preferring to go for the Sharpshooter but the Undertaker blocks with a choke. Desperate, Bret removes the corner turnbuckle pad and takes off the Undertaker’s facemask, ramming the Dead Man into the steel two times. That earns him some loud boos. It is questionable as to why referee Earl Hebner does not disqualify him for that either. With the Undertaker not going down, Bret does a body press off the ropes but the Undertaker counters into the Tombstone. Unfortunately for the Undertaker’s fans, Diesel runs to ringside and pulls Hebner out of the ring before a count can be logged and that costs the Undertaker a chance at the title because Bret is disqualified. This match went way too long to get to a finish like that. It seems like the WWF was hoping that this would be some epic babyface encounter along the lines of Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior but it fell well short of the mark. Bret was unhappy that he was made to look like a loser, so that may have played into the effort he gave, which was more reminiscent of two guys going through the motions at a house show. Pardon the pun, but this was a grave disappointment. Rating: *½

Diesel grins as ring announcer Howard Finkel reminds the crowd that the WWF Championship cannot change hands on a disqualification. Diesel retreats when the Undertaker starts walking backstage. McMahon wonders aloud if Bret would have kicked out without Diesel’s interference. Even though he lost, Bret’s music plays and he slaps hands with some of the fans.

Pettengill talks with WWF President Gorilla Monsoon. Monsoon announces that at In Your House 6 Bret will defend the WWF title against Diesel.

Hendrix interviews Shawn Michaels, who argues that he and his fans will define the 1990s. When asked his reaction if Diesel wins at In Your House, Michaels says his friend has developed a poor attitude but it will not slow him down in his quest to take the WWF Championship at WrestleMania.

Monsoon chats with Pettengill again, putting over the effort Michaels gave in the Rumble earlier in the evening. It seems like there was a botch in the initial segment as the Undertaker was supposed to appear but did not show up. Now the Undertaker does show up, confronting Monsoon and telling him that it will be a “cold day hell before Diesel ever wears the title in the World Wrestling Federation.” In response to the Undertaker’s comments, Monsoon alters the Bret-Diesel match to a steel cage match to prevent interference.

Hendrix now interviews Diesel, who tells Hendrix to shut up and that Bret still lives and breathes because he allows it, taking a line from Gene Hackman in The Quick and the Dead. In rebuttal to the Undertaker’s comments to Monsoon, he calls them idle threats and weaves a weird story of his mom punishing him by sending him to a dark basement and fooling her by acting like he was afraid of the dark. Diesel insists that he only fears the tax man, which would have pleased Irwin R. Schyster had he not taken off for WCW.

Vader throws chairs and beats up lockers while Jim Cornette tells Pettengill that no one can beat or overlook his new man.

A video package recaps the big events from the pay-per-view.

The Last Word: There was a lot of dead time at the end of the show which should have been channeled into the Rumble match so it did not wrap up so quickly. Time also could have been taken off of the WWF title match and added to the Rumble as well as it was madness to give Bret and the Undertaker thirty minutes. Anytime that the Royal Rumble is average it pulls down the pay-per-view that bears its name and this year was no exception to that.

Backstage News*: The WWF paid outside talent $5,000 for their appearances in the Royal Rumble. This was also offered to ECW’s Sabu. Sabu apparently had second thoughts of spurning the WWF’s offer and his uncle the Sheik negotiated a $3,000 payout to help book him for the card. The WWF taped some Rumble promos that announced Sabu and announced his participation on the WWF Hotline. The WWF also offered several WWF talents to Paul Heyman in return for a Sabu appearance but Heyman was not having it and pressured Sabu to back out of doing the event.

-The Boston Herald reported that boxer Peter McNeeley, who lost to Mike Tyson in 89 seconds back in August, was offered a Rumble spot. The plan was to have McNeeley tossed in 89 seconds. Apparently, McNeeley wanted too much money to do it.

-House shows are drawing well on the back of the Bret Hart-Diesel steel cage matches for the WWF Championship. Crowds are split 50/50 in terms of their support for each man.

-Speaking of house shows, the WWF is building to an Owen Hart vs. Ray Rougeau match on August 2 at the Molson Centre in Montreal. Jacques Rougeau, who is not on good terms with the WWF, argues that the angle between Owen and Ray is a sign of desperation.

-In injury news, the 1-2-3 Kid has a bad hip. Sid’s neck injury happened on December 9. However, the locker room believes that Sid’s injury is a work and that he will not be back in eight weeks. Sid was doing jobs for his friend Bob Holly before coming off the road a few weeks ago.

*Backstage news is provided courtesy of Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer for January 23.

Up Next: Monday Night RAW for January 22!

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