What the World Was Watching: WWF Superstars – 12.03.94

Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler commentate, still broadcasting from Bushkill, Pennsylvania.

Opening Contest: The 1-2-3 Kid (23-5-1) defeats the Brooklyn Brawler with a cradle at 3:18:

The Brawler goes 50/50 with the Kid. If he could settle on a plan of attack it might have improved his chances of winning rather than adjusting it for random body parts. The Brawler tries to do two baseball slides, leading the Kid to avoid a second one and make a comeback. The Brawler does an inverted atomic drop to stop some corner punches but the Kid throws him off the rope and cradles him to win. This was better than many Brawler matches because the Kid kept him moving. Rating: *½

Todd Pettengill does a Survivor Series Report that is really an old Update segment. Fans are told that the Coliseum Video of the pay-per-view becomes available on December 14. There is a lengthy recap of how Diesel ended up with the WWF Championship and an announcement that Diesel will be facing Bob Backlund around the horn on the WWF Holiday Wish Tour. Pettengill also notes that Bret Hart will be getting a crack at the WWF titleholder sometime in January and WWF President Jack Tunney has approved a Bret request for a no holds barred match with Owen Hart. Backlund sits in a chair, giving a delusional promo about how fans had only three days of a heavenly world without moral decay. He says that Diesel beat him quickly because he attacked him before he was ready. That is a mistake Backlund will not make again. Diesel rebuts with more outdated references, talking about Backlund’s “Wilbur” false teeth, “flame retardant Barney Miller suit,” and “Boxcar Willie” ears. He bugs out his eyes to keep crying out “Bob!” to emphasize that Backlund is the “Forrest Gump of the WWF.” Backlund’s hype for a rematch was much better than RAW. Diesel’s bit was terrible, coming across less as Big Daddy Cool and more like an overgrown child.

King Kong Bundy (w/Ted DiBiase) (9-0) pins Jason Ahrndt after an elbow drop at 1:58:

Ahrndt is wearing some eclectic ring gear today, with blue boots, red pants, and a black top. As Monday Night RAW demonstrated, Royal Rumble hype has begun and McMahon puts over Bundy’s chances due to his size. Bundy lumbers around for two minutes, finishing Ahrndt with the Avalanche and an elbow drop. Arnhdt pops up a few seconds after taking the pin, something Bundy was probably angry about afterwards.

Japanese music plays as pictures of clouds in the sky are shown. They darken into a storm as “Hakushi” appears on the screen. Fans are told that he is coming to the WWF. This would be the name that Kensuke Shinzaki, known to Michinoku Pro fans as Jinsei Shinzaki, would wrestle under.

The Bushwhackers (14-2) beat J.S. Storm & Tracy Caddell when Luke pins Storm after the Battering Ram at 1:04:

Jenny Granic is the guest fan ring announcer and she does a good job despite being a small child. McMahon pushes the Bushwhackers rubbing noses, calling it a “Hongi” and saying it a lot during the match. He adds that the Bushwhackers will have their names in the tournament for the WWF Tag Team Championship, saying that WWF President Jack Tunney will make an announcement next week. Storm wrestles the entire match for his team, something that does not bother Caddell, who makes no move to help his partner when he is bowled over by the Battering Ram.

McMahon does an empty arena interview with Alundra Blayze. Blayze says she is devastated over losing the WWF Women’s Championship but argues that she will be champion again. The interview is bland and terrible as Blayze botches the name of the Holiday Wish Tour and calls the Women’s Championship the “Ladies Championship.” For some reason, this interview is not part of this episode on the WWE’s archive.

Jim Neidhart (17-2) beats Jeff Hardy via submission to the Camel Clutch at 1:51:

The match graphic calls Hardy “Jeff Harvey.” Even though Hardy does not mount offense, he takes a risky bump to be remembered as Neidhart catches his body press attempt and slams him over the top rope from a military press position. He later takes a huge bump from a backdrop. Neidhart is in a weird spot with the booking now as Owen is back to feuding with Bret but Neidhart does not appear to be backing him up anymore. Lawler says during the squash that Neidhart is sending a message to the roster, which implies that he is breaking off on his own. In the past, that has not yielded a lot of returns for the Anvil.

In a new vignette, Henry Godwinn narrates images of hogs sleeping, arguing that the WWF fans are just as lazy.

Duke Droese (19-2) pins the Black Phantom after the Trash Compactor at 2:29:

The Phantom gets a few opening shots in and lets out a funny wail before a blind charge but that eats boot and then it is all downhill from there. A nice spinebuster from Droese sets up the Trash Compactor as he tries to recover from last week’s loss to King Kong Bundy.

Tune in next week to see the Smoking Gunns, Tatanka, Doink the Clown, Owen Hart, and Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon in action! Also, Bob Backlund will be a guest on the Heartbreak Hotel!

The Last Word: This squasherific episode was not a complete waste as it let fans know that an announcement was forthcoming about the WWF Tag Team Championship Tournament. The babyface tag team scene is much better than where the heels stand right now as the Smoking Gunns, the New Headshrinkers, and (to less of an extent) Men on a Mission could all make arguments for being top contenders. Only the Heavenly Bodies can say as much on the heel side. Diesel’s title run continues its rough start as the WWF is making him uncool to even the youngest of fans.

Up Next: The Action Zone for December 4!

And if you would like to read a compiled breakdown of 1990-1993 WWF, 1993-1995 ECW, or of various promotions in 1995, check out my Amazon author page to purchase e-books or paperback copies!