Tooned In: Fantastic Four (1967)

Happy Saturday Morning!

I did my Own the Snydies duty this week and finally saw Superman. Basically, it tries to be a James Gunn movie AND a Superman movie all in one. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Without getting spoiler-heavy, I will say tres disappointed by the post-credits…well, l’ll put it this way: me am not sad that someone wasn’t teased coming off of his fate in the film. No future world building moments hinted at too. But I’ll mention that the Justice Leag, er, Gang stole the show and they’d totally fit in a Gunn project given more misfits and B-team heroes. Yeah, yeah, that’s what they had Suicide Squad for, though.

Well onto referencing the other big superhero movie moment this summer.

So far, we’ve had two nods to the upcoming Fantastic Four, the MCU edition. There’s Scott’s look at the short-lived Cartoon Network show from the 2000s, and my own look at the 1994 Roger Corman film, oddly enough written around the same period the CN show was on! Now, to add to the flashbacks for Marvel’s First Family, how about their first appearance in animation? In 1967, Hanna-Barbera, who’d become more associated with the DC Comics brand by the turn of the decade, made a series chronicling the adventures of the Richards/Storm family and their ever-lovin’ blue-eyed friend Ben Grimm. Better known to us of course as Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Girl (upgraded to Invisible Woman when someone realized Sue Richards was a in fact a grown-ass adult), Human Torch, and The Thing.

Unfortunately, this series, while formerly being common on Cartoon Network reruns in the ’90s, is now firmly on the “watch it if you know where to look” list. That has a teensy bit to do with the fact that it’s an adaption of what’s now a Disney property owned by Warner Bros. Discovery, which oddly enough is the home of DC Comics. So you probably won’t see it streaming or physically released any time soon. So what’s Disney+’s excuse regarding the 1967 Spider-Man, the ’60s Marvel Superheroes, and the 1982 Incredible Hulk? To be fair, I think the ’60s stuff is an issue with the animation studios. But the Hulk! Disney+ has the other Marvel Productions ’80s series up there. What gives?!!?

Anyway, here now is a sample from the H-B take on the Fantastic Four. And what better place to start, in theory, than having them up against their greatest rival?

THE THREE PREDICTIONS OF DR. DOOM

The intro shows us the origin of the team, now with 100 percent more stock Hanna-Barbera sound effects! We get the four hands moment, and see them go up against golf balls, a green Galactus, a giant Dr. Doom, and more. The end title card is funny, as it’s the heroes standing in front of a giant “4” with a tiny “FANTASTIC” glued to the side. They mention that the Fantastic Four appears in Marvel Comics Magazine, which shows how consistent the Marvel name mostly was, compared with Josie and the Pussycats coming from Radio Comics, and the first season of Super Friends from National Public Periodicals.

Thing is shaking up the city with his training, so Johnny plays a prank on him melting his punching bag. Their squabbling is interrupted by Captain Obvious Sue: “It’s Dr Doom! He’s on the TV Screen! He came on in the middle of a race!” And indeed he is literally standing in the middle of a racetrack, and…

You have it good now knowing that Doom will be Robert Downey Jr./Tony Stark. Back then, we had to deal with Doom possibly being a grown Barney Rubble! Not seen here, but his mask mouth moves when he speaks too. His voice sounds like someone doing a Vincent Price imitation. Speaking of voices, Thing is Paul Frees doing his Charlie Beary voice. Invisible Woman is performed by Jo Ann Pflug, a TV mainstay who co-hosted the 1970s Candid Camera (pleasant memories of USA rerun blocks and just before HA! became part of what’s now Comedy Central…) and was on several game shows. In fact, she was Chuck Woolery’s wife for awhile. Anyway, Doom gives the titular predictions. He’ll…

1. Remove the heart of the Fantastic Four (seems violent, but it isn’t the ’70s yet, I’m pretty sure you can still punch people on these cartoons…)
2. Remove your greatest strength (probably aimed at The Thing, but could be some cryptic clue…)
3. The strongest power will conquer all (just seems like bragging on Doom’s behalf…)

Thing punches the TV but Doom is still there and seems to Wonkavision out of the screen, but it is just one of his pseudo images. So he can send holograms to anyone he wants? Sue and Reed are all “Well this is serious, but whatever,” because Sue has to go to a photo shoot…where Doom is disguised as the photographer and traps her in seaweed, then takes her off in his rocket disguised as a water tank, which we know it is because Sue makes sure to say “It’s a rocket disguised as a water tank!” This is Prediction 1, by the way, as the Invisible Girl is the heart of the team, or something.

Later, at the Cartoon Euphemism for the United Nations, Doom appears on..screen? He says it’s one of their banners, so maybe he’s projecting himself there too. Anyway, unless he, you guessed it, takes over the world (OF COURSE!) in 48 hours, he’ll use tidal waves to destroy cities. When doubted, he gives them a sample…my goodness, Doom having free reign over broadcast signals and showing how he’ll destroy something, this is like the Corman Doom all over again, but with less pantomime. (Bruce Forsyth would be proud…) To discourage “Richards, Thing, and Torch” — yes, Doom is so obsessed with Reed, he can’t bother to use the others’ real names — he shows that he has Sue captive. Johnny is hotheaded and wants to attack Doom now, and Reed has to literally use a fire extinguisher on him to get him to listen to reason. They track Doom’s ship, basically a giant dirigible, surrounded in a cloud that Thing recognizes despite it not being a thing — no pun intended — any time in the episode. Using an atomic magnet on their own ship (the Fantasticar?), they zero in on Doom, during which Reed asks Johnny and Ben if they’re okay. Dude, think of all the Fantastic Four has been through and survived, I think your teammates can handle a bit of turbulance. The magnet is making a noise I’m almost certain was recycled into the Pac-Man chomping sound.

Catching up with Doom, Thing rips in and says The Line. Doom welcomes the “Fantastic Three” to his lair. What, not the Fantastic Force or Future Foundation? Don’t get cocky, Victor, they have the She-Hulk on speed dial. So Doom has what’s basically Shredder’s Anti-Mutagen Ray, which will turn the F4 members back to their pre-cosmic-ray-affected selves. Thing takes the brunt of said ray, and becomes Ben Grimm again. Which is Prediction #2, of course, accurately guessed by me earlier. Doom offers Ben a chance to stay out of this too, and to go off and live a normal life, etc. But he won’t abandon his friends. So Doom shows them in various death traps, and wow, he captured and trapped Reed and Johnny in seconds. Never mind that only him and two (already dispatched) hench creatures were on the ship. Regardless, Sue will be crushed, Johnny is in a trap that will cause him to burn the oxygen out of the room, and Reed will be frozen and shattered. Call that Magneto guy, Doom, I hear he has a daughter who can do that last bit quicker. So Ben decides to become the Thing again to rescue his friends. And he might as well, because why be a human with no nipples? He says The Line again to hammer home his intentions.

Meanwhile, Doom is about to turn on the tidal waves but Thing smashes the controls. Doom escapes, but Reed uses his security cams to locate him after Thing and Torch try to one up each other destroying the trap door. They both fail, though. Reed eventually spots Doom escaping, and we know because Sue adds, “It WAS him!” So now I know who taught 1979 Velma and Legendary Super Powers Wonder Woman to emote! Johnny notices missiles being fired at the Fantasticar “from one o’clock high.” If only Doom fired from three o’clock high. No one can stop Buddy Revell. And these weapons turn out to be illusions to confuse the heroes when the real ones fire, direct from the intro sequence. It doesn’t stop the Four from finding Doom’s cloud, where Reed attempts to drawn him out, to no avail. Thing tells an old war story, amounting to agreeing with Reed that they don’t want to ram the ship. Ah, the Don’t Kill The Joker trope. Doom is eventually spotted getting off his cloud (HEY! YOU!) and the Fantasticar follows, though Reed warns that “he has lots of mean toys.” COULD THIS BE A SECRET ALLIANCE BETWEEN DR. DOOM AND CHUCKY? WAS VICTOR VON DOOM BEHIND TORMENTING RICK STEINER? WHY ISN’T THERE A CHUCKY SEASON FOUR? TUNE INTO NITRO TO FIND OUT!!!

Once on board, we see one of said “toys,” the golf balls from the opening…actually, atomic spheres. Mr. Fantastic reaching the Reverse Animation, er Reverse Polarity lever puts a stop to this. Doom has one more trick up his sleeve, however; he traps the heroes in molten steel that encases them even though Sue blocked the worse with her force field. Again, Thing and Torch’s one-upsmanship does nothing, but Sue uses her force powers to drill a hole in the floor that Johnny burns open. But didn’t they say the floor was the same steel that was trapping them? More understandable is Torch burning holes in the side of the ship…wait if it’s a dirigible, wouldn’t that do more harm than good too? Okay episode is almost over, no time to overthink things. So through the holes, they acrobat Thing across to where Doom is at ANOTHER tidal wave switch, and yep, you can still punch people :

Suck it, Superfriends!

And ironically, that’s Prediction #3. Instead of being taken in by Richards, Doom decides to literally jump to his death. Back at the Not U.N, it’s announced that Doom’s ultimatum no longer exists…never mind that, *DOOM* no longer exists apparently! And we can thank the “Magnificent effort of the Famous Fantastic Four!” Come on…”fantastic” is already in their names, they don’t need any more adjectives.

So that was Hanna-Barbera Fantastic Four. Kind of on par with Challenge of the Superfriends, as it means well but there’s still a lot of hammy acting and things to unintentionally laugh at. Worth seeking because it’s so rare. Keep Circulating the Tapes/Links!