FMW Super Dynamism 09/08/98 DirecTV PPV

Korakuen Hall
Attendance 2,100

Previously In FMW…

Hideki Hosaka (ZERO) vs. Hido (Team No Respect)

Hosaka looks worse and worse but at least he’s free of TNR. Hido makes fun of how he’s dressed and the crowd laughs in agreement. I mean if you show up to work looking like a fat Bee Gee then you deserve it.

Hosaka is able to land moves like Frankensteiners and moonsaults but can’t get anyone to care about them. Hido can’t put him away with lariats so Hosaka comes back with his woeful Sky High where his opponent doesn’t get any air and then falls backwards. I thought he only did that wrong once but it turns out that’s how he normally does it. Hido punches Hosaka in the face for a two count before a release Powerbomb (like Tori’s finisher in the Smackdown games) sets up a Liger Bomb win at 10:02. Hosaka recieves polite applause for not falling over anything this time.

Atsushi Onita & Mr. Pogo #2 & Yoshinori Sasaki vs. Kodo Fuyuki & Koji Nakagawa & Yukihiro Kanemura 08/21/98

So last time we were on PPV, Onita defeated Team No Respect to release Kuroda and Hosaka from their slavery. A week later, Onita introduced his even newer group named ZERO consisting of Onita, Sasaki, Pogo #2, Kuroda and Hosaka. It was presumably named after the chance it had of getting over. ZERO show up not wearing pants to symbolize they’re starting from zero. OK.

Highlights of another crazy brawl with a loud crowd sounding happy until Fuyuki lariats Pogo #2 for another Onita loss. Mr. Liar throws another bitch-fit so we get…

Atsushi Onita & Tetsuhiro Kuroda & Hideki Hosaka & Mr. Pogo #2 (ZERO) vs. Kodo Fuyuki & Koji Nakagawa & Yukihiro Kanemura & Hido (Team No Respect) 09/01/98

Onita returning to main events! For a show that didn’t sell out. ZERO have challenged TNR to put their loin clothes on the line against their briefs. I’m glad this feud is brief.

More highlights of another weapon based brawl with Pogo #2 getting a chance to shine by kicking out of stuff and bleeding. Onita manages to get a pin-fall over Fuyuki to win TNR’s briefs which he then places on a crucifix. Oh sorry it’s 1998, I mean a “symbol.”

Hayabusa vs. Hisakatsu Oya 09/01/98

These guys have had some wonderful matches together so of course Hayabusa’s third defence of his Double Titles is reduced to a three minute highlight reel because we spent so long highlighting pants. Oya is able to dodge Hayabusa’s high-flying easily while dropping him on his head via Backdrop Drivers. Hayabusa powers through and finishes Oya off with the Falcon Arrow at 15:55. Couldn’t rate it but it looked nice, even if the crowd were louder for Onita than the Ace.

Super Leather & Flying Kid Ichihara vs. Mr. Pogo #2 & Yoshinori Sasaki (ZERO)

Mercifully JIP with Kid landing an Asai Moonsault to Pogo #2 and unmasked Leather dropping Sasaki with a Jackhammer at 10:57. Oh man considering the low standard of matches involving these guys that have made tape, this must have been REALLY bad to air only the ending. They show more of the team celebrating than of the match!

Hisakatsu Oya vs. Jado (Team No Respect)

We’re forty minutes into the show with only one proper match so FMW really were stealing everything from the Attitude Era. Oya’s arm and shoulder is taped up, much like Jado’s liver.

It takes Jado ages to figure out he should start working over Oya’s shoulder that’s wrapped up like a Christmas Present so you know what type of performance we’re getting from him. Oya eventually escapes a hammerlock to repeatedly apply submission holds onto Jado while he’s in the ropes, releasing on five every time until the ref tells him to quit it. Jado remembers Oya’s shoulder is taped up and goes to it to kill another few minutes as the pace has been slower than a season of Treme.

Oya applies a Figure Four but Jado gets the ropes so the ref insists he release it but Oya keeps on re-applying it which should get a pop but the crowd has gone to bed. Jado low blows Oya (again, no pop) to ignore Oya’s leg work to start hitting Powerbombs. Oya keeps applying sleeper holds to set up a vicious Backseat driver which Jado somehow kicks out of. Octopus Stretch is locked in and this should be it but no, Jado somehow escapes and lands a lariat so hard that he sends himself out the ring. Crowd barely pop for Oya’s kick out because Jado took so long to get back in. Jado then lands another lariat to finally end this at 18:11.

One of those tediously slow AJPW-style matches that has mat work for an extended period because they have to do it rather than having it mean anything. Oya was game but nothing can stop hungover Jado.

Ricky Fuji vs. Gedo (Team No Respect)

Gedo’s using the nick-name Superfly now. That makes sense, his partner was wrestling stiff.

Fuji starts off flying around like a mad ‘un with crossbodies and Sunset Flips so Gedo counters by holding the ropes and strutting. Crowd make more noise in two minutes than for the previous twenty. Gedo slams Fuji on some chairs outside before going back in to slow this sucker all the way down. It must have been a wild night the previous night as J & G look knackered. Gedo misses a Moonsault on Fuji but pretends it hits. Urgh. Fuji lands his Moxley-level Tope to start the ending sequence which sees Fuji landing crucifixes and avoiding mule kicks. Ito distracts the ref and attempts to use a spray can but Arai’s niece lariats Ito and takes him down with a Tornado DDT to set up the Fuji victory at 13:59.

Fuji wasn’t exactly Rickydozan but he had fun chemistry with Gedo when his opponent could be arsed. The last few minutes were fairly fun with the crowd exploding for the niece attack.

Koji Nakagawa (Team No Respect) vs. Tetsuhiro Kuroda (ZERO)

I appreciate Nakagawa’s character right now: A completely untrustworthy rat boy who relies on forks. A massive step up from “the dude who loses every match.”

Nakagawa gives Kuroda a clean break in the ropes but he doesn’t return the favour, chopping him hard and kicking him in the dick. Kuroda starts working on Nakagawa’s legs with holds and slams into the ring post before dragging him into the crowd to land the running Lariat (1). It’s so visually impressive and the crowd always get hyped for it. Hido attempts to distract so Nakagawa can use the fork but Kuroda grabs it and gets ready to use it, before Nakagawa grabs a Fujiwara Armbar to get it back. Kuroda gets forked and starts bleeding like a trooper. Nakagawa gets to be a prick by very slowly taking advantage of Kuroda’s current state.

Nakagawa continues being slow until Kuroda tries to come back and suddenly he quickens again to jump over his low dive. Ha! Kuroda is too mad to stay down so he Lariats (2) the bastard before landing a diving elbow as the crowd are screaming his name because of the blood loss. Rope-assisted stunner puts down Nakagawa but he of course comes back with a dick kick and small package. Kuroda declines to sell and Lariats (3) his opponent off his feet. Hido sees the end coming and chair shots Kuroda but he kicks out of the pin attempt as the crowd are very much into Kuroda. Another Lariat (4) can’t put dickhead away so Kuroda tries the Triple Germans, with Nakagawa trying yet another low blow but Kuroda knows it’s coming and Lariats (5) him again for a very close two count. Nakagawa then comes back with THREE consecutive low blows to win via jacknife roll-up at 14:20.

Very not-bad! Accomplished all it’s goals of slow-cooking the still-rising Kuroda while keeping Nakagawa a prick. And that’s the roles of these shows as we head towards the big November PPV. Best thing on the show by far.

Hayabusa & Daisuke Ikeda vs. Kodo Fuyuki & Yukihiro Kanemura (Team No Respect)

Team No Respect are the tag champs but this isn’t for the titles because fuck you Ikeda and Hayabusa haven’t won any matches as a team yet. Alright that’s fair.

Kanemura messes with Hayabusa like he always does by faking a lock-up and grinning inanely. Crowd appreciate his antics, even when he tells them to piss off. Kanemura takes some armdrags but dodges Hayabusa’s kick and gives him another dopey stare. Hayabusa flips him off and tags in Ikeda who crossbodies Fuyuki immediately for two. Kanemura sneak attacks Ikeda so he can start throwing hard kicks his way. Ikeda delivers a head kick but that’s how Kanemura starts his day so he mocks him with an airplane spin. Crowd are way more into TNR’s antics than Ikeda, just saying.

Fuyuki slams Ikeda off the apron and through a table-resting Hayabusa to further encourage the crowd to cheer for the baddies. Ikeda gets worked over like the good hand that he is, with Kanemura nailing a wonderful running back senton while Fuyuki delivers a Piledriver to Hayabusa outside. Ikeda continues to take a pasting so I assume was out drinking with J & G last night too. Eventually Ikeda smashes half a table over Kanemura to recover enough to tag in Hayabusa who immediately takes out everyone and delivers a stunning Quebrada to Fuyuki.

Dream sequence connects on Fuyuki inside the ring with Ikeda contributing by landing a Russian Leg Sweep and diving headbutt. Yeah well done Sunday Night Heat opening act. Kanemura sells for him because he loves all the bumps, but even he’s unsure where to land on the double spinning wheel kick. Hayabusa takes a Superbomb for a close two as crowd are loud now. Ikeda barely saves Hayabusa on a Total Elimination but the Ace is still able to land the 450 Splash on Kanemura…for two! Oh wow. Tiger Bomb also only gets two with Kanemura countering a Flying Nothing into a crotch punch. Hayabusa is able to German Suplex the big man before nearly getting distracted by Fuyuki but then not, to land a Falcon Arrow to win at 13:17.

Hayabusa was providing all the moves and Kanemura was bringing all the bumps. I’m not sure what Ikeda is bringing to these events except “being over” but this was an all-action decent main event anyway. Not enough to save the show but I appreciate them trying.

Post-match Hayabusa accepts Fuyuki’s hand shake but the fat man attacks him leading to everyone having to run in to separate them. Even when Hayabusa wins he has to lose.

Overall: The wrestlers who showed up to work were fun. Everything else was shakier than a shitting dog. Koji should not be having the best match of the night for any company.

Next week: Kuroda continues to impress, and Mr. Gannosuke returns!

I’ve been Maffew