FMW Cluster Battle 02/06/98

Attendance: 1,950
Korakuen Hall

Previously In FMW…

Masato Tanaka joins us on Samurai TV wearing a Canterbury hoodie and a grin. He wouldn’t be smiling if he saw that attendance number.

Mr. Pogo #2 & Flying Kid Ichihara vs. Yoshinori Sasaki & Naohiko Yamazaki

Two graduates of the FMW dojo, one would become the wonderful Mammoth Sasaki and the other would never be seen again. Sasaki delivers plenty of lovely chops before he has to pretend he can’t deal with Pogo #2’s mat skills. This was perfectly cromulent but there’s never anything to talk about in these Young Lion matches. Ichihara wins with a Single Crab at 9:56.

Crusher Maedomari vs. Miss Mongol

Crusher Maedomari showed up last time to offer to team with Kaori Nakayama to deal with Shark Tsuchiya who has declared war on FMW. However, Kaori opened this show to let people know she’s injured so I guess the war has been postponed.

Crusher waits for Mongol to pose on the ropes before sneaking under her legs, but Mongol sees it coming and gets a Victory Roll for one. Crusher lariats her into a crazy spin. Mongol isn’t put off by Crusher barely registering her offence and sticks to quick roll-ups. Crusher isn’t even particularly big but she’s definitely working like she is, like pretending to rub the dirt off her top when Mongol lands a dropkick. Crusher plods around no-selling Mongol until a chokeslam ends it at 3:20. Told a decent story and Crusher is being warmed up for the Shark match so good enough.

Super Leather (Team No Respect) vs. Hideki Hosaka (ZEN)

Apparently Super Leather has joined Team No Respect. Has he? When?

Hosaka topes Leather mid-entrance before the two men brawl to the balcony and attempt to throw one another off it. It makes for a cool visual as the fans believe it could happen so they lose their minds like it’s EVO finals. Leather gets whipped into a table allowing Hosaka to start doing the moves his opponent knows how to take, which means a nice Northern Lights and a rubbish Stunner. Leather then slips attempting a Superplex as the crowd laugh because THE JAPANESE LOVE BOTCHES. Leather gets two from a Tombstone as Leather’s offence is very erratic. After a woeful big boot, a Brainbuster from Leather ends it at 11:20 with no warning or build-up.

Their last match was very decent, this one was very not. Leather belongs in Team No Respect because he’s disrespectful to the concept of wrestling.

The Gladiator Mike Awesome (ZEN) vs. Ricky Fuji

Awesome realises Fuji sucks on offence so he busts out his cool big man moves immediately. Awesome Splash misses leading to Fuji landing the dodgiest tope this side of Moxley before redeeming himself with a crossbody off the top rope. A really ropey Finlay Roll appears to wind Awesome legit as the ref needs to slow his third count down so he can kick out in time. Awesome lands a sweet German Suplex to prevent Fuji from trying any more dodgy moves on him. Big fat stiff Awesome Bomb doesn’t end the match but it looked pretty. Awesome Splash gets two but another gets converted into a Frankensteiner from Fuji. Fuji attempts a lariat but Awesome casually turns it into a TKO. Awesome attempts the Running Awesome Bomb but Fuji escapes again so Awesome lariats him to finally be able to land the R.A.B. to end at 9:52.

Much more exciting than last time, even with Fuji’s sloppiness. The teases at the end made it worthwhile and it helped that Awesome got to be on offence for most of it.

Gedo & Jado (Team No Respect) vs. Kodo Fuyuki & Hido (Team No Respect)

Fuyuki is the only one here not wearing red pyjamas. Hido gets chopped by the dyed-blond one until Fuyuki wanders in to absorb armdrags. I thought this match was going to be a silly one like that Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H European Title defence but instead everyone gets a chance to do something. It’s unspectacular but the crowd is into it as TNR has loud fans. Hido takes a pounding from Gedo & Jado’s offence that honestly reminds me of Chris Chetti’s. Hido makes the hot tag to Fuyuki who can’t knock Jado down with his Yelling Lariat. Come on now, it’s only Jado. Hido dropkicks Jado into his own corner so Gedo tags in and gets absolutely splattered with a lariat. Fuyuki blew the poor guy away, he must have watched Super J Cup 1995 again. Hido gets avalanched in by his opponents and then dumb ass Fuyuki who misses with a clothesline. Superbomb then finishes Hido at…wait no that move isn’t a MDK move in Japan so Hido kicks out before falling victim to a Brainbuster at 12:33 while Gedo holds Fuyuki down.

I guess this did the job of proving that Fuyuki may be higher up the food chain compared to the rest of the group but Gedo & Jado have the advantage in tag matches. I always appreciate the “Hot Rod can defeat the Stunticons separately but will lose to Menasor” logic even if the match was only OK. Crowd dug it though.

Mr. Gannosuke & Yukihiro Kanemura (Team No Respect) vs. Jinsei Shinzaki & Hisakatsu Oya

Gannosuke starts off the match wearing his Double Titles, with Kanemura having to remind him to take them off. It really is Carry On FMW when they’re around.

Gannosuke and Oya exchange hammerlocks before Shinzaki tags in to be quietly mad. He’s so cool simply staring a hole into Gannosuke who takes the hint and tags in Kanemura, who immediately kicks him low. Gannosuke attacks him with a chair because he’s intent on aggravating Shinzaki as much as possible. TNR work over Shinzaki’s back with Boston Crabs, with both lads pulling the other with a hug to stretch him more. Awww. Kanemura flies off the top with a chair to Shinzaki’s back before Oya has enough and murderizes the pair of them with typically brutal Backdrop Drivers. Shinzaki breaks a chair over Kanemura’s chubby head so Oya can tag in for even more Backdrop Drivers.

Oya gets a really tight Octopus Stretch locked in and it’s not often you see one of those that stops you and makes you type about how good it is. Oya demands Shinzaki tag in and get his revenge, even though he’s clearly not having a good time with his back right now. Or he doesn’t want to work. Shinzaki delivers sweet Dragon Screw Leg Whips to TNR so Kanemura in a huff drags Oya into the crowd and dumps empty chairs on top of him. Luckily for him there’s plenty there. Kanemura then makes the Mad Monk even Madder by splashing him through a table before Gannosuke removes the top turnbuckle. Backdrop Driver/Neckbreaker is impressive but only gets two on Shinzaki, leading to Kanemura choking Oya with the now loose top rope. Gannosuke gives Shinzaki the shame of delivering his own finishing move (the Praying Powerbomb) and attempting to win via cocky pin. Gannosuke follows that by locking in his own Nirvana Straightjacket submission hold with Shinzaki attempting to resist it as much as possible and refusing to submit out of sheer force of will…before the referee deems Shinzaki unresponsive and ends it at 15:52.

Now this was the good stuff. Team No Respect are wonderful dickheads with their big bumping style and annoying charisma enhancing everything they’re doing right now. Shinzaki is the perfect uber-serious guy for these clowns to feud and clash personalities with.

Hayabusa & Masato Tanaka vs. Tetsuhiro Kuroda & Koji Nakagawa (ZEN)

Huh? TNR are feuding with half the country and this is the main event? There’s more beef in Linda McCartney’s fridge than in this match.

Nakagawa and Kuroda work over Hayabusa’s back with passable looking offence. Neither has that main event edge yet so thankfully Tanaka tags in with his offence that has ALL the snap and presence to it. Even a move as simple as a Running Elbow in the corner looks like a Mortal Kombat X-Ray when delivered by him. Tanaka attempts a second one and lands head first in the corner so Hayabusa tags in to sail gracefully with a Tope Con Hello and Asai Moonsault to the outside. Hayabusa has so much grace with his high flying, it’s lovely to see. Tanaka tags in and Nakagawa finally gets a move that makes you think he can hang at this level when he sees Tanaka’s Rolling Elbow coming and turns it into a backslide for two. He follows that with a T-Bone directly onto Tanaka’s head but sadly for him that’s his least vulnerable body part.

Kuroda’s follow-up Dragon Suplex only gets two with Tanaka cutting him off as he heads to the top rope with a HARD slap to the face and a Superplex. Everyone heads in for a mini-brawl before Hayabusa lands the 450 Splash on Kuroda. Nakagawa breaks up the pin so Tanaka drags him outside, leading to Kuroda to surprisingly kick out of the Falcon Arrow and deliver the Benoit-style Triple German Suplexes. Hayabusa kicks out but runs directly into a lariat and Tanaka has to run back in to break up the pin fall in a moment made great by Tanaka facing the camera at the time so you could see him running with a worried look on his face. Nakagawa dropkicks Hayabusa in the back of the head (oh lovely) to deliver his own Falcon Arrow with the crowd buying every pin attempt now. Hayabusa kicks out of his own move to deliver his uh own move which also gets kicked out of. I think Excalibur lied to me. Hayabusa has enough and finishes Nakagawa with the Twisting Body Attack at 15:37.

First half was about the FMW guys getting their sweet-arse offence in with the second half being about the possibility of these newer guys having the ability to shock a win. FMW is going all-in on pushing newer guys so it makes sense for them to be given a chance like this and the crowd were going wild for the near-falls so it was successful in that aspect. A good enough match to enjoy but not to main event Korakuen Hall.

Overall: Well I’m enjoying Gannosuke/Kanemura’s antics and the Shinzaki feud would only get hotter. FMW is doing a respectable job of hyping up their wrestlers for their big shows & matches while delivering in ring as even the worst stuff has purpose and doesn’t overstay it’s welcome.

Next Week: ZEN host their own show!

I’ve been Maffew.