Live Feed Mania – WWF Shotgun Saturday Night 01/25/97

Previously In Live Feed Mania…

WWF @ New York City, NY – Webster Hall – January 25, 1997

We’re in New York and it’s the week after the Royal Rumble! You can either read what happened on this satellite feed or ask Richard Land to AI you a summary or something.

Feed starts with the production crew practicing camera movements while music plays because this is a shoot nightclub we’re in.

Todd Pettengill is the MC and is immediately met with chants of “Howard Stern!” from the New Yorkers. “Haven’t heard that before” replies a numb Todd. Just wait until O & A get their hands on you, you’ll be begging for the days of “Baba Booey!”

The Blue Meanie’s theme blares out to get the crowd hyped as a stage-hand asks some fans to move so they’re not blocking the entrances for the wrestlers. We get Vince practicing his audio and he’s inaudible because of the incredibly loud music blaring out. He yells at people to get a handheld camera down there because it’ll look better than the stationary shots from the balcony (a good point) and then asks Todd if he can hear him but Todd’s still being a MC so he responds by yelling “WEBSTER HALL, ONE MINUTE UNTIL WE’RE ON THE AIR!!” Yeah this sounds as smooth as producing something in a nightclub could go. Vince asks Kevin if he thinks some of the shots are dimly lit and we don’t hear his response but I imagine with a minute left before the show starts Kevin assured him it was OK.

The show starts with Paul Bearer telling Todd how displeased he is with being in such a horrible place with women and booze, it’s no place for poor Mankind. I don’t know, if you assure him it’s free he’ll probably be OK with it. Mankind rocking back and forth in the ring corner while the dance music blasts away is a cool image. Or maybe I only think that because I’ve been there a few times.

Vince and Owen Hart’s commentary is insanely distorted due to having to yell over the music. They sound like a 2008 Let’s Play. Mankind heads to the dancing women as Vince freaks out. Owen asks Vince what’s wrong with liking women? Well let’s move on.

Bret Hart vs. Mankind (w/ Paul Bearer)

Their only televised match. Bret suckerpunches Mankind as he’s distracted by the women which I find ironic after reading Bret’s book. It’s a wonder he remembered to put his trunks back on. Owen calls him a coward as the ref rings the bell as both men are still outside, with Mick taking a bump down the dancing steps. The NY fans chant “He’s hardcore!” for old time’s sake. Owen reminds Vince that Bret quit on Raw so he shouldn’t be trusted. “That was a misunderstanding” states Vince. Aye like signing him for ten years.

Crowd chants “Bret Hart sucks!” as The Hitman starts The Five Moves of Doom early. Mankind tries to escape by heading to the crowd, presumably hoping one of his fans will make like a typical New Yorker and shoot Bret. Instead they watch in awe as Bret suplexes Mankind in front of the commentary table. This only powers up Mankind as he retaliates with chokes. Mankind lands the charging Tree Of Woe as Owen yells “hope you like that, mom!” Mankind chinlocks Bret to allow Owen to get more digs in. “What’s my prediction for tonight? That Bret’s a loser.” Owen’s delivery on these silly lines really makes them work. “What’s famous about a dump like this?” cracks up a nearby Sunny. Mankind takes a typically wonderful bump over the ropes and then gets distracted by the women like how my Dad would warn me.

We then get actual commercials that are part of the feed itself because they’re currently giving money to WWF, so we get Snickers & Western Union followed by a minute of a card that says LOCAL AVAILABILITY for the local ads. Huh. Interesting if you’re into that kind of thing but boring as hell to the other 99.99% of the human race so let’s move on.

We return to Bret crotching Mankind on the guard rail before clotheslining him off. This match is going too well so let’s have Todd interview one of the crazy women in the crowd while bringing up Star Wars. After it’s finished, Sunny dead-pans “well that was scary.” Mankind dodges a Bret elbow but Hitman shrugs off a DDT to come back with a bulldog. “To give my lousy brother some credit, he is a great technical wrestler” says Owen. Vince is beside himself that Owen would critique his brother like that, so Owen tells him “it’s how he learned when I was teaching him everything I know.” Owen should have commentated every Bret match. Bret goes for a Sharpshooter as the crowd boos, so brave babyface Owen storms the ring to attack him. Match is thrown out at around the 13 minute mark as Bret and Owen brawl to the back. An upset Paul blames Todd for Mankind getting distracted by the women as Paul has to stop Mick from eating more dancers.

This was a lot of fun with the snark from Owen & Sunny complimenting the action rather than detracting from it like Todd’s existence. It didn’t have any flow but the action was still way better than this show deserved.

Stridex tells you to wash your zits you fucking geek. 100 Grand then tells you eat loads of chocolate which will absolutely not help you with your zit problem.

Over 60,000 fans showed up the Rumble last Sunday! Yeah and a few of them even paid to get in. Crazy how that figure isn’t even in the top twenty five of highest WWE attendances now.

Todd interviews Savio Vega to find out why he turned on Ahmed Johnson during his match at MSG earlier today to join the Nation. Wait this is Vega’s second show of the day? A quick look at the card reveals it’s everyone’s second show. Christ they must have shattered. Vega blames his “hot, Puerto Rican temper” but doesn’t say if he joined the Nation so Vince had to clarify that yeah he has.

Savio Vega vs. Rocky Maivia

“Rocky Sucks” chants to start, of course. Sunny talks about how nice Rocky is on the eyes. Basic action that the crowd doesn’t care about because they notice Rocky is wearing blue tights with white boots so they’re chanting for the bWo. Sunny says Rocky Johnson wasn’t bad on the eyes but maybe a bit too old for her and Vince dead-pans “I didn’t realize you drew the line somewhere” which catches Sunny off guard. Sunny asks if Vince is enquiring but he says he’s all set. Aye for a debt-filled retirement.

Commercial break gives us Snickers and the Army. BE ALL YOU CAN BEEEEE (blam blam).

When we return, the Nation have walked out to support Vega. Dumb Rocky stares at them so Vega attacks and returns their salute. He just told everyone he joined them not five minutes ago. Well I guess he didn’t but he was supposed to. This new heel turn and Vega’s strike-based offence does little to help the crowd get behind Rocky, as they chant “Die Rocky Die”. Vince calls him “Rocky Johnson” with Sunny admonishing him. Vince ignores her. Ha! Rocky runs into Vega’s sidekick but can’t decide how to sell it so he acts like he’s being tasered. I wish I was being tasered rather than watching Vega apply his second nerve hold. Rocky tries for a Sunset Flip but it gets denied so Vega varies up the offence by applying an armbar. Crowd chant “Rocky Sucks” directly into Rocky’s face so even Vince has to comment on it. Third nerve hold now. Vega launches Rocky to the outside and he hurts his right knee and is unable to make it back in and loses via count out at 14:30. That’s right, no Nation interference or cheating. Just a clean count out win. The children are right to boo you, Rocky.

Afterwards Vega attacks Rocky’s knee that he didn’t work on at all during the match and then the Nation bother to do something by whipping Rocky with a belt. What a dull, dull mess.

Jake Roberts tries to be interviewed backstage but I can’t hear a damn thing he’s saying because they’re blasting music. Are snakes supposed to be near loud noises? Ah Jake killed a few of his anyway so it’s not like he cares about their wellbeing.

Commercials: Greyhound buses, which it turns out is just what Americans call Megabus. Except they’re apparently really bad for letting you know where the drop-off points are because they’re not at coach stations or anywhere obvious. That sounds fun.

We return to Vince ogling the dancers. Also Helmsley is joining us on commentary to remind us this is where the big boys don’t have time to play. You’re right about that, they’re too busy working double shots.

Jake Roberts vs. Salvatore Sincere

Helmsley compliments “Rocky Johnson’s match earlier” and praises the play-by-play. Vince is like “hey it’s easy to get them mixed up” not realising that gimmick is currently taken by Tony Schiavone. This is Jake’s last televised match with WWF, ending a miserable two year run.

Helmsley hopes Roberts can concentrate in a bar. Sincere begs out of an armbar to get an eyepoke that Jake is in no mood for. Sincere gets a few shoulderblocks in so he can charge and miss in the corner to set up Roberts’ comeback after two whole seconds on offence. Short-arm clothesline and a DDT ends it at 3:05 with the crowd booing Jake and chanting for the bWo again. Roberts dumps the snake on Sincere but the lights dim and the music plays so you can barely see it so Jake grabs Damian quickly and storms out oh wow. What a way to leave a company. If they’d had access to a long enough Vaudeville hook they’d have used that instead.

Jake would head to Mexico and indies after this, only to pop up at ECW November To Remember ’98 wearing a Wigan Warriors Rugby League shirt.

Commercials: Starbursts. You mean Opal Fruits you damn yanks.

When we come back, we’re informed Helmsley decided to give the Pedigree to Sincere because he wants to prove how good he is.

Sycho Sid vs. Crush

We get a lovely long shot of the camera following Sid’s entrance from the stairs to the ring and it is definitely what this show needs, catching the awe in the drunk’s eyes as they fist bump Sid who is too cool to find the entrance so he walks over the guardrail instead.

Sunny reckons Sid is still mad at not being part of Final Four. Well he got the title rematch on Raw instead because if there’s anyone who’s going to work smarter and not harder it’s Sid. Sid absolutely batters Crush with multiple clotheslines while soaking up the adulation.

We go to a break for more 100 Grand Bars. I only know the candy from that one O & A skit they did where they said they were going to give away “100 Grand” and then gave someone that as the prize. Yeah.

When we return, Crush somehow has Sid on offence. Oh apparently NOD have been distracting Sid. With what, a set of car keys? Crush tries to bite Sid because he heard he’s worth 100 Grand. Sid blocks the Heart Punch and chokeslams the Jailbird to set up a Powerbomb for…the DQ as the NOD attempt to charge the ring but Sid’s the Master and Ruler Of The World so he grabs a chair and starts swinging to end the match and show at 8:30. A good match when Sid was walking to the ring.

On my copy we then get the entire show again for some reason which is disappointing but that’s the luck of the draw with these feeds.

Also occurring but not recorded:

Owen Hart defeated Bob Holly

Overall: The Bret Hart vs. Mankind match is well worth your time, especially when you find out Mankind had wrestled HBK in the main event at MSG hours beforehand. The rest is a curiosity at best to remind you how odd WWF could be when they were struggling for ideas.

I’ve been Maffew and if i used tumblr that mankind gif would be all i would post