What if…Survivor Series 1986?

What if…Survivor Series 1986??

By No One Can Beat Megabucks

I enjoyed revisiting the Survivor Series so much, I’m back at it again. But with a twist.

You see, last time I delved into actual Series history when I mentioned my five favorite teams of all time. Now this time, I’m going to try some history that never happened.

As we remember, the Survivor Series began in 1987, the year when the WWF was peaking in the Hulkamania Era. Outside of the Wrestling Classic, it was the first time the WWF introduced a second regular pay-per-view/closed circuit event to its calendar. But what if they decided to start the event a year earlier?

First, a little background, to see what we could and couldn’t do when imagining this show. Nah, who am I kidding, it’ll be a LOT of background…

While 1986 wasn’t quite the business the following year was, a lot was still going on. Some of which would shape the big year to come after. By autumn, the WWF’s syndicated programming underwent a revamp, as Championship Wrestling and All-Star Wrestling would assume their better-known names, Superstars (of Wrestling) and Wrestling Challenge. The first sequel to WrestleMania happened earlier in April, where Hulk Hogan fended off the threat of the Bobby Heenan Family by defeating King Kong Bundy in a steel cage. However, Heenan struck back with a psychological edge, when he convinced another Hogan ally, “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, to betray the Hulkster and begin hunting for the WWF championship. He’d use other Family members to try and obtain the title too, such as Hercules Hernandez, whom Slick swapped to Heenan for an undisclosed amount of cash. He also formed a working relationship with wrestling legend Harley Race, and crowned him as the “King of Wrestling.”

Heenan was not without other problems, though. Islander King Tonga was the latest wrestler who got to bodyslam Big John Studd, which should have entitled him to a $15,000 prize. Tonga would form an alliance with the returning Tonga Kid, and the pair would go under their native names of Haku and Tama. “The Brain” also still had issues with another of his archenemies, even when said enemy supposedly wasn’t even in the company anymore. After failing to appear for a televised match, Heenan talked WWF President Jack Tunney into suspending Andre the Giant from wrestling. But he still had reasons to be frustrated when Captain Lou Albano introduced a “mysterious” masked tag team from Japan called The Machines, consisting of the Super Machine, and the Giant Machine, who just so happened to also be 7’4”, and over 500 pounds. The new goal going into the autumn for the Heenan unit of Bundy and Studd was to prove that Giant Machine was in fact Andre cheating his suspension. Other thinly-veiled “Japanese” wrestlers would complicate the matter: the Big Machine (who for some reason could only recite Japanese corporate names), the Hulk Machine, the Piper Machine, and more. After spoiling Albano’s retirement as a manager when Studd and Bundy defeated Big and Super, the Machine production seemed to finally slow down to a complete stop. Though the Andre situation would take a strange new twist soon enough…

The unexpected also happened in ‘86 as “Rowdy” Roddy Piper returned from his sabbatical to find that his Piper’s Pit segment was taken over by “Adorable” Adrian Adonis’ Flower Shop. Adonis even stole away the services of Piper’s bodyguard “Cowboy” Bob Orton. Roddy’s confrontations with the Flower Shop bunch led to something not seen in the WWF till now: fans getting behind the Rowdy One. After surviving a beatdown from Adonis, Orton, and Don Muraco, Piper got revenge when he destroyed the Flower Shop set, got Piper’s Pit to be returned to weekly WWF TV, and injuring Adonis’ arm by attacking him with a crutch. These acts earned the respect of no less than the WWF Champion Hulk Hogan himself, and he and Piper formed an uneasy alliance when the Heenan Family goaded the Hot Rod into tag team matches.

The Intercontinental Championship division was not quiet by any means. After defeating Tito Santana in the Boston Garden back in February, “Macho Man” Randy Savage had to fend off several challenges. Incidentally, said title change was retroactively explained as referee Danny Davis ignoring Savage’s use of a weapon to win the match, and this was just the start of the controversy surrounding Davis, who by autumn was suspiciously calling matches in favor of the bad guys. Anyway, among Savage’s opponents were Santana in title rematches, as well as having to deal with George “The Animal” Steele not only as a title challenger, but also with his advances towards his manager, Elizabeth. Later in the year, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat emerged as another title contender, but as we’ll see later, that challenge appeared to be snuffed out quickly on one fateful Superstars episode.

On top of the tag team scene were the British Bulldogs, Davey Boy Smith and the Dynamite Kid, Lou Albano’s 16th championship combination. Their acrobatic skills mixed with high-impact power moves made their matches memorable. Most of their troubles came from the former champions, the “Dream Team” of Brutus Beefcake and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, who naturally were attempting to win the belts back after losing to the Bulldogs at WrestleMania 2. Other teams such as the Hart Foundation and the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff were often in the hunt for the titles too. They fought for contention in the tag team ranks against “ally” teams of the Bulldogs such as the Killer Bees, the Rougeau Brothers, and the newest version of the U.S. Express: Mike Rotundo and Danny Spivey.

Other superstars prominent on the WWF roster included: Hillbilly Jim, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, and even the lower card wrestlers at this time were memorable: The Moondogs, “Leaping” Lanny Poffo, and Jimmy Jack Funk (an invented Funk brother portrayed by Jesse Barr, to fill in after Terry Funk’s departure). With the changeover to Superstars and Challenge came more new talents, mostly proven names in other territories. These included “The Natural” Butch Reed, “The Birdman” Koko B. Ware, and “The Rebel” Dick Slater. Kamala the Ugandan Headhunter returned to the company, as did Sika from the Wild Samoans. And the Blog of Doom’s favorite, Dino Bravo, joined up with Johnny V’s Dream Team.

Before we go any further, though, let’s remember that the company WAS ever changing. By the Fall of 1986….

John Studd was pretty much gone from the company. So was Adonis, temporarily. He would be back just after Thanksgiving Night. The Machines angle was over, and Bill Eadie and Blackjack Mulligan were to receive new roles in the coming months. Andre the Giant, whom the Machines story was based around, was also the subject of a secretive reinstatement hearing. And Steamboat, in his bid for the Intercontinental title, had received a devastating injury when Savage used the ring bell to attack his throat and larynx. His vicious attack even incurred the wrath of the “Living Legend” Bruno Sammartino, the longest-reigning world champion who since retired into the role of a commentator.

Now, after all that, let’s finally discuss what we can do with this scene to create a 1986 Survivor Series show. I am going to try and stick with the original 5-on-5 format that the first event used, as closely as I can.

Because their feud was continuing on house shows and more, naturally our team captains in the main event would be Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff. The Hulkamaniacs vs. the Wonderful Team, even? To make things even spicier, and to continue the reluctant partnership angle mentioned before, let’s add another major storyline: Roddy Piper vs. the Flower Shop Bunch, now spun-off into being Piper vs. Don Muraco and Bob Orton. So far, then, we have Hogan and Piper anchoring one side, Orndorff, Muraco, and Orton on the other.

The Wonderful Team is somewhat easier to complete. Bobby Heenan would probably want some of his own backup to protect “Mr. Wonderful.” Who better to do that than his own Family members: King Kong Bundy and Harley Race? We’ll save Hercules for later, because he actually would have a world title match with Hogan that same week on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Back to the Hulkamaniacs. Given Haku’s past with the Heenan Family, why not have the Islanders join the team too? Although the man who started the issue, John Studd, was gone, it would be a nod to recent history to have Haku along with Tama there. Plus it gives each side one tag team (Islanders, Muraco and Orton). For the last member, I’m actually going to go with Hulk’s old friend and trainee, Hillbilly Jim. He hadn’t quite gone stale yet, and on house shows had issues with Muraco and especially his manager Mr. Fuji.

So our main event? Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, the Islanders, and Hillbilly Jim vs. Paul Orndorff, King Kong Bundy, Harley Race, Don Muraco, and Bob Orton.

Sidenote : I just realized putting the Islanders there would also reunite Piper with Tama/Tonga Kid, his tag team partner in the movie Body Slam! That film was always a guilty pleasure of mine, so…extra win!

Sidenote 2 : Barring firings/departures, this scenario could have had even more possibilities. If Studd and Adonis had stayed, we could swap Race and Muraco out for them and pretty much have the team that convinced Orndorff to turn on Hogan! The Islanders’ inclusion would make more sense with Studd there (Haku and the body slam).

Alternatively, having two or more Machines would have been an easy route for the Hogan team, and a reference to the non-Machine members disguising themselves with Machine masks in six-man matches against the Heenan Family. Andre was about to be reinstated, though, and I think he was filming The Princess Bride anyway.

So now, the Intercontinental level match…it could start as Team Savage vs. Team Steamboat, but alas, a change must be made due to “The Dragon’s” injury. Given the post-match angle on Superstars, how about Bruno Sammartino coming out of retirement to captain “Team Legend”? He did so at various times during the 80s boom, even a couple of singles and tag matches against Randy Savage himself. At Bruno’s side could be Tito Santana, who teamed with the “Living Legend” throughout 1986 and also has a bone to pick with the “Macho Man” over unfairly losing his title. George Steele had issues with Savage as we said, let’s put him in, and that makes a fourth man easy as we can use his regular tag team partner at the time: the Junkyard Dog. Billy Jack Haynes was another powerhouse who came short in his shots against Savage and was being pushed on weekly television, so he can complete the team.

(Sidenote: both Santana and Haynes lost matches with Savage because of Danny Davis’ refereeing oversights. Imagine if Davis managed to weasel his way into being an official to this match!)

Crossing over to the Macho Team, since we did not use him in the first match, Hercules could be the Heenan Family representative here. Perhaps sow the seeds somehow for his WrestleMania feud with Billy Jack while we’re at it? Butch Reed was another flashy muscleman who had just made the WWF scene, and would also fit in alongside Savage. Plus he would have a beef against Santana leading up to WrestleMania season.

The last two slots? Hmmmmm….in retrospect, we know the next SNME will have a heel vs. heel Intercontinental title match between Savage and Jake “The Snake” Roberts. So maybe put Jake on Team Savage, leading to a moment of Heel Miscommunication, in turn leading to Roberts pulling a Bad News Brown and being the loner who walks out on the match? In an alternate universe, this can be mentioned on SNME even.

Now, Kamala was being built up for Hogan on house shows, so like Herc, let’s keep him away from the Hulkster for now. Have him be a force of nature who does a few eliminations before maybe getting disqualified, even? You also have a ready made battle of the strange monsters when he and Steele match up.

That said, our second match? Randy Savage, Butch Reed, Hercules, Jake Roberts, and Kamala vs. Bruno Sammartino, Tito Santana, Billy Jack Haynes, George Steele, and Junkyard Dog.

And that brings us to the tag team division. While strong, it was not quite as robust as the 1987 and 1988 outings, and we have already used 1-2 tag teams elsewhere. The Can-Am Connection had just debuted, so it may be too soon for them. And I believe Moondog Rex had already gone off TV in preparation for a smashing new, yet short-lived, character.

So I would probably do a somewhat scaled back version of the tag team eliminations, with the Bulldogs, Bees, and Rougeaus on the face side, and Dream Team, Hart Foundation, and Sheik and Volkoff for the heels. I believe the U.S. Express was still around, so MAYBE make them the fourth team? Then, I don’t know, the Character Jobbers of Moondog Spot and Jimmy Jack Funk could be a makeshift final heel team (and honestly, the easy elimination…though you never know…sup, Conquistadors?)

And that makes our eight-tag team elimination match….British Bulldogs, U.S. Express, Rougeau Brothers, and Killer Bees vs. Dream Team, Hart Foundation, Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff, and Moondog Spot and Jimmy Jack Funk. Fortunately new teams will make this outing, what’s the phrase? Bigger…better…and BADDER. Seems on brand for 1987.

There of course could also be a women’s match, although 1987’s influx of talent including Sherri and the Jumping Bomb Angels probably revived it some and made it belong in the actual first Survivor Series more. Still, the original idea was to represent all four championships.

So that’s what I feel a 1986 Survivor Series would be like. A second Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and hope your Gobbledy Gooker is moist and flavorful.

BONUS:

While we’re at it, I want to do not so much a fantasy booking as a rearrangement of an existing event: from the ever popular rebooking year of 1989, it’s that Survivor Series!

While a halfway decent show as it was, there were several things that were curious to me. Zeus NOT being on the same team as Randy Savage just seemed wrong. Powers of Pain being presented as serious tag team title contenders again, although: 1) that feud ended at WrestleMania V and 2) it would soon be a moot point just after the event, as Demolition would no longer have the tag team titles. The Hart Foundation being on separate teams too, although it wasn’t unusual between 1988 and 1989 to see the on-again, off-again singles pushes of Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart.

So here is what I’d do to make the match-ups seem more “appropriate”….

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Brutus Beefcake, Jim Duggan, and Jake Roberts vs.

The King’s Court: Randy Savage, Zeus, Ted DiBiase, and Mr. Perfect

The Ultimate Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Hercules, and Demolition vs.

The Heenan Family: Andre the Giant, Haku, and the Brain Busters

Roddy’s Rowdies: Roddy Piper, Tito Santana, and the Bushwhackers vs.

Rude’s Brood: Rick Rude, Rick Martel, and the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers.

The Enforcers: Big Bossman, Akeem, and the Powers of Pain vs.

The Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, the Rockers, and Red Rooster

The Rugged Team: Ronnie Garvin, Jimmy Snuka, and the Hart Foundation vs.

The Hart Breakers: Greg Valentine, Earthquake, Dino Bravo, and Honky Tonk Man

NOTES: I debated where to put the Whackers and Rockers, between the Rowdies/Brood and Rugged/Harts matches, but I guess the Whackers fit more in being “rowdies”. Can’t have everyone else on Piper’s team be too normal.

Since we’re using Perfect elsewhere, I felt Martel fits with Rude’s team of arrogant, obnoxious heels. And just like, well, every year after 1989, I had to have Tito right behind him.

Demolition works for me the same way LOD will next year: “brothers in paint” and all. Hercules just to make the Warriors all power guys. Plus Demolition had issues with the Busters too.

I had to reunite the principle teams of SummerSlam and later, No Holds Barred: The Match. Jake can stay to include the feud with DiBiase. I’d say Zeus does the neck snap thing to Hulk but also somehow costs him the match or at least gets him eliminated, to set up the cage match in December. I’d even muse if it would lead to Perfect pinning him while he was vulnerable to set up their series of title matches, but it probably, you guessed it, “Didn’t work for me, brother”.

Happy Thanksgiving for real this time! Um…don’t share turkeys with the Headshrinkers?