Mitsuharu Misawa & Kenta Kobashi vs. Toshiaki Kawada & Akira Taue in the GOAT Tag Match (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! With the amazing Misawa/Taue match from last week reviewed, people brought up how it informs the June 9th 1995 tag match… one which has gone into wrestling lore as “The Best Tag Match Ever”. And HOLY SHIT does it live up to that hype, as it becomes the Ur Example of the “AJPW Style” and amazed fans all over the internet and tape-trading community. And it’s EVEN BETTER when you know all the context, like the prior match! So come see four of the best to ever do it at the peak of their powers go for 40 minutes of amazing action.

And I follow that with a match of equal magnitude, the Power Twins from that NWC show I reviewed face the Towers of Power in whatever the hell the NAWA is, in 1992! Plus we have Vader vs. jobber Sean McKever in his first match from WCW TV, and Sid Vicious in a legendary squash against Lee Scott!

ALL JAPAN WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
MITSUHARU MISAWA & KENTA KOBASHI vs. THE HOLY DEMON ARMY (Toshiaki Kawada & Akira Taue):
(All Japan, June 9th 1995)
* This match is somewhat notable. More than twenty years ago, I was in University and made a purchase from Golden Boy Tapes for a number of VHS tapes, including one simply labeled “Best Tag Match Ever”. This was part of the ongoing feud between Misawa & Kobashi and their former ally Kawada (the trio had been playing on former ace Jumbo Tsuruta’s lawn for years) and his new partner Taue. Kawada had been chasing Misawa for literally years, having debuted the year after him and just never being quite as good or successful- Misawa got the bigger matches, the quicker singles push, the Tiger Mask gig, beat Jumbo and became the new Ace, etc. All the while Kawada was AMAZING but just not up to the same level, which killed his ass until he finally quit their stable of guys and hooked up with Jumbo’s tag team partner, the big lug Akira Taue.

So now Kawada was possessed by a pathological desire to beat Misawa- not only has he never done so in singles, he’s never even PINNED him. Misawa by this point almost never did jobs, and only did so to foreign names. Misawa & Kobashi had been tag champions continuously since Dec. 1993, having vacated them for the Tag League but winning them back. Kobashi is BIG here- his more slender early ’90s look had since given way to a bulky, barrel-chested physique with no muscle definition- just pure SIZE. But his leg is almost made of bandages at this point. Speaking of, Misawa’s orbital socket was broken a short while before, and Taue kept working it over when pressed (in a match where his legendary Nodowa Otoshi- chokeslam- off the apron became the centrepoint of the match’s climax), so that’s still an issue. Hopefully Kawada, famously kindly pillar of good sportsmanship, will be a good sport and not focus on such obvious weak points!

The secondaries start us off, Taue going for an early chop but backing off from Kobashi’s, holding his sore boob as a result. Kenta quickly undoes his chop attempts by blocking and repeatedly striking him HARD- he eats a boot, but dodges the next and it’s a stand-off. They have an Elaborate All Japan Strength Test, but Taue immediately halts it by kicking Kobashi in the injured leg, establishing that yes, he will go there, and early. Kenta’s face reads loud and clear- like “you fuckin’ sack of shit…”. Kawada defiantly tries to avoid selling Kobashi’s chops, but when he’s whipped off the ropes… just charges in and boots Misawa off the apron hahahahaha! The crowd is SO offended, which makes it even more glorious- only in All Japan can such minor heel things draw an IMMENSE reaction. Several fans on the hard cam are even visibly clapping for this act of dishonesty. Kobashi’s like “WTF?” and Misawa has to shake it off, and after all that stuff to put over the spot IN COMES MISAWA. Kawada gets the better of an exchange but they block each other’s strikes and then Kawada ducks him and kicks KOBASHI off the apron like a total asshole, just provoking everyone! Kenta charges the ring and he & Taue are losing it while the top guys are still emotionless-looking. Taue’s all “hey, go back to your side and quit cheating, y’all” like an ass while Kenta’s furious.

Taue tries with Misawa and just gets elbowed onto his ass, then Kobashi wins a strike exchange (haha, check Taue crumpling in pain off a chop). They slowly work him over, careful not to make any mistakes, and Misawa easily counters him and does his dive-fakeout… leading to Kobashi barreling into him from the apron! And Kawada charges in but Misawa just decks him, then elbow suicidas Taue! They’re wise to their shit, now! But Kobashi finally overdoes it and misses a 2nd-rope move, leading to Kawada coming in and kicking his leg to dust! He tries to fire back, but Kawada just boots him with the standard gamengiri kick. Kenta does his own in defiance, but collapses due to his own weak rear leg. Kenta’s big, showy selling is ideal for situations like this, because he’s so easy to read. The HDA tear into his leg, finally finding a “hook” to their strategy. Kobashi tries a chopfest with Kawada, but just gets his knee stomped into oblivion and now the fans are BOOING this lack of decorum- it’s against all decency, you dick! Taue tries a kneecrusher, but with great timing Kenta just punches him in the eye and stumbles WAY back to reach Misawa! Elbow city for Taue! He goes for Kawada… who is wise to his own tactics and just bails off the apron to disappoint everyone hahaha. But after a series of strikes & whip-reversals with Taue… Misawa pops him one! LOL he didn’t see it THAT time! Taue manages to dodge a back elbow from the corner but… Misawa ducks him and plasters him down! Misawa locks in a hold… but Kawada KICKS HIM IN THE EYE SOCKET, leading to a woman screaming into the hard-cam in a huge moment. Oh, you DICK!

Misawa rolls to the floor to put over the move, but the HDA are merciless- Kawada hits a variety of kicks to the eye and then his RUNNING gamengiri, then peppers it with knees while the fans get increasingly mad and he throws the ref in a complete lack of decency just to do more damage! He fires more and more kicks… but Misawa fights to his feet, starting to block every shot! Again and again he deflects them as the crowd goes nuts and then it’s elbow! Elbow! Elbow! Taue comes in and HE gets popped as Misawa makes his own comeback- Kawada’s “drunk guy” stumble is terrific, but Misawa over-focuses on Taue and gets booted, and when Kobashi comes in, Taue dropkicks out his knee! Kawada with the repeater-kicks… but Misawa just STANDS UP to fire up the crowd, so Kawada tries again but gets elbowed into oblivion, only for Taue, in maybe his finest spot ever as a wrestler, hauls Misawa off, pummels Kobashi to the mat, ducks an elbow and then Chokeslams Misawa ONTO KENTA’S LEG, crushing both pillars with one move! Kobashi sells it like his leg was chopped off with an axe while Kawada tears into it using the ropes to propel him down, then crushes Misawa with a spinkick for two.

Kawada grinds away at the eyeball, then Taue’s in for snake eyes in the corner! The HDA are merciless as they keep on it, Kawada just standing on it at one point while Kenta gets his leg re-wrapped like a mummy. Taue has the Ace where he wants him with a short lariat and LAUNCHES him (out of atomic drop position he just hucks him forwards). Kawada tries an elbow contest, but as soon as he’s railed back he fires off a BIG lariat for two- I notice everyone is well-practiced at using the momentum of a strike to bounce off the ropes for a killshot. Kobashi interrupts a powerbomb, so gets dragged out and kneecrushered on the GUARDRAIL while Kawada completes the move for two. Kawada locks on his Stretch Plum submission (which, of course, puts a forearm across the eye), and then Kobashi hits the ring and absorbs Taue’s boots until he uses the momentum to lariat him down… then just starts punching Kawada in the face until he releases the hold and now they go! Kawada fires off elbows, but foolishly charges in and it’s a double-lariat! And all that finally gets Misawa his respite as he tags out- Kobashi hits some massive chops, but Kawada uses the POWER OF MANLINESS to try and power through the pain… and then Kobashi does the same thing with shots to the leg! And right when Kawada knocks him over with a hard one, Kenta fires up with MAXIMUM HAMMINESS and not only throws counter-kicks, but lures in Kawada’s kick and chops the daylights out of him with rapid-fire chops to every part of his head & neck and then slugs him down! He got him! One for Taue! But Kawada fires back from the ground and Taue comes in… and manages to just get the daylights chopped out of him as Kenta won’t stay down!

Taue finally just weathers the storm and kicks Kobashi in the face to flatten him, but Kenta fires up in the corner and mimics Taue’s own choke-takedown, but charges in and gets choked into the turnbuckles, only to get his boot up and hit a falling clothesline! Kenta is too weak for a powerbomb, so Misawa comes in and they hit a double-butterfly bomb- Kawada gets bowled over, but he kicks Kobashi in the face to halt a Moonsault! A dramatic double-down sees Kenta kick away and tag out- Misawa blasts Taue with elbows and the twisting lariat brings him down, and when the Tiger Driver is countered, he catches a boot and Rolling Elbows him! The same for Kawada! Tiger Driver gets two! Dual submissions to the HDA! But Kawada finally fights free and SPIKES Misawa on his head & shoulder with a Dangerous Backdrop and when Taue goes to tag… KOBASHI comes flying in to nail Kawada off the apron to pay off all the prior spots! Kobashi’s in- Taue blocks a Dragon Suplex, so Kenta settles for a German (this ALWAYS happens in AJPW matches- you can’t get the complicated move, so you settle for the easier-but-still-big one). Kawada again stops the Moonsault, but Kenta avoids his Dangerous Backdrop and gets two. Kawada tries to crush him with a lariat but now HE gets backdropped. This wrecks Kenta’s knee, but when Taue stops his Moonsault attempt Misawa flies in with the frog splash instead and then further helps out and finally… FINALLY… Kenta hits that Moonsault on his fifth try! For TWO! Kenta’s out of aces, so he at last tags out- Kawada stuffs Misawa’s Tiger Suplex, so Misawa settles for a German (see?) and Kawada’s selling like a video game death animation, and Kobashi holds off Taue for the Tiger Suplex… for two! And then…

Misawa’s elbow is his best weapon- the ultimate quick technique to halt a guy’s offense and create some distance. annnnnnnnnnnnd BLOCKED!

BOINK! Suck it, Ace!

Misawa’s tried all his shit, but a Tiger Driver hits- and Taue fights free and stops the count. Misawa is like “you fucker” and goes for the elbow smash… but Taue BLOCKS IT and HITS HIM IN THE EYE AGAIN and it’s the Nodowa Otoshi! Misawa let him recover for too long! Kobashi tries to stop him but Kawada takes out his leg and it’s the Nodowa Otoshi off the Second Rope! It’s a double-down by the top guys, but Kawada wins by kicking Misawa to the apron… and Taue goes for the Apron Nodowa, with Kobashi limping in to stop him… but Kawada fights him off, then lariats Misawa in the back of the head and Taue HITS THE APRON NODOWA OTOSHI!!! Misawa is FUCKED and Kobashi tries desperately to cover his senpai’s body with his own, but Taue hauls him into the ring… and Misawa rolls the entire way across it to buy himself some more time while Kawada desperately tries to catch and pin him hahahahahaa this is amazing. When Kawada’s finally able to hold him down, he can only get two.

In one of the GOAT moments in wrestling, Kobashi twice covers Misawa’s body with his own in the name of friendship and brotherhood. But in the name of “lol, fuck Misawa” and “way to give up your back, dumbass”, the Holy Demon Army respond by stomping the shit out of both of them. It doesn’t get any better than this.

Misawa repeatedly stuffs the Powerbomb and Kobashi even crawls in and grabs his damn leg to protect him, so it’s TANDEM FINISHERS by the Holy Demon Army! Nodowa to Kenta & Powerbomb to Misawa! But Misawa rolls over at two! He backdrops out of another and Kenta again covers his body with his own… so the fuckers hit a Dangerous Backdrop/Nodowa on him! Right on the back of the neck! But Misawa finally slays Taue with the Rolling Elbow! But he’s finally vulnerable and alone, so Kawada nails the leaping kick to his face for a heartstopping two count… Misawa elbows free to try and survive, but has no partner to tag (Taue has Kobashi down by the hurt leg and won’t let go), so a Dangerous Backdrop gets two as the crowd freaks! But that’s all she wrote- Kawada hits the Gamengiri Kick into the Folding Powerbomb and PINS MITSUHARU MISAWA at (42:37)!! New Tag Team Champions! The young fans (probably empathizing with Kawada’s struggles against a more successful senpai) bolt to ringside to cheer them on and the champ give interviews and do the customary awards ceremony.

This match lives up to the hype and then some- it’s hard to find a better match anywhere. Just four of the best of all time at the absolute peak of their form, using injuries to further a match perfectly, threading them into the match’s story. You have Taue being a dick early to use Kobashi’s injury to get out of the remotest tight spot, establishing that both things are a factor (his mercilessness and Kenta’s vulnerability). Then once they actually start focusing on it they draw tremendous heat because it’s just SO UNFAIR- poor Kenta doing his best hammy selling enhances this. Misawa meanwhile has his own injury, and Kawada gets a perfect moment just blindsiding him with a kick to the eye socket (it’s a bit limp because he has to work it, so it doesn’t get QUITE the reaction)- just dishonorable as hell and it sets off the next ten minutes of work. And for the next 30-ish minutes the heels are laser-focused on working these two weak points, because they know they won’t win unless they use everything to their advantage.

Taue was TREMENDOUS here- the whole match his default selling mode is to growl with this guttural roar, always selling everyone’s strikes as horribly painful. When “surprised” by a Misawa elbow he’ll flail his arms in disarray and collapse to the mat like he’s been shot. And when they get speedy he’s all like “Whaaaaaaat!?” and “gets caught” by their brilliance. He’s also in the lion’s share of the early stuff as they save Kawada/Misawa bits for when it’s important, and then gets maybe his greatest moment ever by hitting the Nodowa Otoshi to Misawa ONTO Kobashi, crushing his leg and taking him out of the next five minutes! Like all the effort in hurting Kawada just let Taue recover, and as he has the most powerful move of everyone, that’s a critical mistake by the heroes. The final 10-15 minutes of the match is perfection- rather than focus on HITTING MOVEZ the way a lot of people do today (an act that both neutralizes the effect of any one move, and makes all the matches very same-y), they instead keep going for moves again and again, constantly failing at them until they FINALLY manage to land it, not only putting over the fear others feel for the move, but building things to a fever pitch. Just watch Kenta’s Moonsault- it’s not the prettiest move, nor the flippiest one (especially by today’s standards), but the fact that he goes for it again and again shows what a huge weapon it is in his arsenal, and the fact that the Demon Army interferes every single time as soon as it looks like he’s going for it makes it look even better. And THAT’S a well-delivered “Holy shit he KICKED OUT!” moment- nowadays you’d tend to see three 450 Moonsaults in a row for the same result, maybe one using a chair, then 3-4 more Shocking Kickouts in the same match… on a regular Dynamite.

Never mind the Apron Nodowa- Taue’s MDK move is put over by a whole minute spent on the apron fighting it out, Kobashi desperately trying to stop it, Misawa deathgripping the rope with his whole arm to avoid it (and he knows how much it hurts), and then Kawada having to run in and lariat Misawa to finally let it happen. And Misawa’s just DONE after that, to the point where he desperately rolls out all the way across the ring to avoid Kawada’s equally desperately trying to pin him. And once he’s left without Kobashi to break pins for him it’s only a matter of time- he weathers a storm in a huge way to be put over in defeat, but the challengers ultimately slay the dragon. This match also had the whole “tapestry” of AJPW spot-building thrown in- the “nail the guy off the apron” thing happens no less than four times, and it’s awesome every time. This is a regular Kawada move, showing his dickishness by doing it twice- then he’s wise to Misawa doing it to HIM, but then Misawa’s able to psyche him out and get it a second time… and then KOBASHI does it, just flying in from the other corner to get some revenge. And finally the last ten minutes is just an absolute destruction of Misawa, showing just what it takes to do the impossible and actually pin the Ace- Taue, relatively recovered, is the key to victory as he fires off all his biggest stuff on the champ and hits his MDK Apron Nodowa Otoshi on him, leading Kawada to fire off all of his big moves one after the other and FINALLY pin Misawa for the first time.

This match is five stars. There can be no other rating. To have any other response is to have failed as a human being and as a wrestling fan!

Rating: ***** (like, this was heading to ****1/2 territory or so with 10-15 minutes to go… and then they hit one of the finest stretches in the history of wrestling)

THE POWER TWINS (Larry & David Power, w/ Don Apollo) vs. THE TOWERS OF POWER (Mike Furious & Cash Jackson):
(NAWA Championship Wrestling, 07/12/1992)
* So this is NAWA wrestling, hosted by Joey Styles (!!!) & Craig DeGeorge and is sure to be awesome, as it features the shitty chubby-big guys Larry & David Power against the Powers of Pain! Wow, a dream match with WWF legends! And… wait. TOWERS of Pain? Who the fu–?? And they’re called the “Towers of Power” by Joey so the title on the vid is wrong. “Mike Furious” is a really tall guy with the most plain look ever- just a white singlet with black Adidas shorts and short hair- like a more muscular Jerry Flynn. I… hey, his last name is Laurinaitis?! Oh shit, this is Animal & Johnny Ace’s little brother! … wait, no he’s not. He’s a WWF jobber named “Mike Fury”, aka Primo Carnera III & “Big Guido”. While his partner Cash is a generically-sized wrestler and is bald except for a tiny ponytail at the back of his head. Like the CENTER of the back of his head. Him, I can’t find anything on. The Power Twins are in matching black singlets with “paint” streaks on them.

The Power Twins stall and whine about Mike’s lockups while I marvel at the fact that referee Billy Silverman is the most famous name in the ring. The world’s worst International sees Furious hit a lariat so low it hits a Power Twin in the tummy (remember he’s a head taller than either of them). The Powers bail and do an illegal switch, but the fresh one fares little better. But Cash gets tagged in and immediately gets eye-gouged and he’s in trouble. He’s pretty horrible- ducks way too early in a weird way for a move and gets clobbered. All they manage to do is a bunch of clubbing blows because Cash doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing, but they at least bring out Apollo’s cane as a weapon. Furious keeps running in and getting his partner beaten on more as this just goes on FOREVER. After a false tag spot, Cash FINALLY gets a hot tag after a clothesline and Furious shows why he never became a star by hitting a bunch of out-of-position weak running moves on both Power Twins, then of all the fucking moves to try, the tall ungainly muscular dude does LA MAJISTRAL, getting two. The Power Twins get “thrown” into each other in a business-exposingly bad bump and Furious goes to the floor with one while Cash whips the other off the ropes, gets tripped off-camera, and a Twin drops an elbow on the back of his head for three at (10:28). Lol, the worst of all “interference” finishes at that.

Bad beyond belief. The Power Twins were useless generic guys, but they were at least GENERIC, not actively fucking up. Furious came off like he was green and couldn’t really get into position for stuff, and Cash came off like this was his first or second match, as he was unable to even take a beating properly, kind of just flopping around, did weak bumps, and never even hit a proper move all match long. And it’s TEN MINUTES LONG.

Rating: DUD (I rarely give DUDs, and it’s because even the crappiest WWF & WCW matches usually have at least some merit. This match was what happens when four dudes too bad to end up on TV get ten minutes)

BIG VAN VADER (w/ Harley Race) vs. SCOTT McKEVER:
(WCW TV, Aug. 29th 1992)
* This was recommended because of an old IWC post: “This was actually Scotty’s first legit match. He forgot his gear and borrowed the biker tights from Erik Watts, and when Vader splashed him in the corner, he shit in them. He said “if I didn’t have enough heat for not knowing what I was doing, shitting in the booker’s son’s tights sealed the deal.” This is probably total BS, but hey- it involves the horrible beating of a jobber, so why not? McKever is wearing multicolored tights that probably would not have fit the VERY tall, lanky Watts. But sure enough, he looks like a pasty wimp and is almost as tall as Vader, but with a doughy figure and a mullet, like a good 1992 jobber should. And it is indeed his first match, near as I can tell! Vader is big but not nearly as fat as he’d later get. I’ve actually never seen him with such a comparatively svelte physique.

Vader promptly shoves McKever into the corner and leaves forearm-shaped impressions all over his chest, then press-slamming him into a further beating, then utterly crushes him with an avalanche in the other corner- the kid’s already got “jobberism” down as he stumbles out of the corner like a hapless geek into a vicious clothesline that rolls him completely backwards. Attaboy! Vader runs the ropes repeatedly to show off and hits the Vader Bomb (a running splash, at this point?), but pulls McKever up at two and unleashes a monster Powerbomb, actually holding him one-armed on his shoulders before folding him in half with it. YIKES- most guys kinda let the jobber do a flat back bump off that. Vader pins him with one hand at (1:16).

Rating: 1/2* (viciously brutal one-sided squash on a Squash Scale it’d be like a 4/5)

SID VICIOUS (w/ Theodore R. Long & Dan Spivey) vs. LEE SCOTT:
* Another recommended squash! This is gigantic rookie Sid Vicious, one half of the Skyscrapers, set to demolish a mustached loser with yellow striped tights.

Sid immediately brings the awesome by not even budging for anything Scott does, ignoring a flourish of punches and then turning him inside out with a lariat that makes him go flat on his face in a windmill. Jesus Christ. Scott writhes and lurches like a good jobber, then gets picked up and LAUNCHED over the top rope with a press slam, landing sickeningly on his side. Sid then presses him over the top rope from the floor, hits a windmill slam, then finishes with a Powerbomb at (1:30). Man I know jobbers don’t count as people, but GOD. You see stuff like this and even I’m reading to push green “can’t work a match” Sid to the main event. “Why don’t you tell me again how great the Ding-Dongs are!?” shouts the heel commentator.

Rating: 1/2* (a beautiful squash. Like 5/5 if you rate it on a Squash Scale. Amazing bumping by Scott)

yes I used a review of the best tag match ever to shame AEW. Up yours, Ospreay! You use too many moves and your name has an unnecessary “a” in it!