WWE WrestleMania XL Kickoff

Tonight, it’s the WrestleMania XL Kickoff! What will they call the preshows for the two nights of Mania? Probably also the WrestleMania XL Kickoff! Eh, that’s a problem for the future marketing team. It’s February.

Then, Now, Forever, Together. Now with less Beast Incarnate.

The singing voice of The Weeknd and the speaking voice of Michael Cole tell us that we’re looking live at the Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, the home of WrestleMania XL. Then we zoom in live to the strip of Las Vegas, home of the Super Bowl this week and our event tonight.

We see arrivals! WWE Chief Content Director Paul “Triple H” Levesque. We talk about #WeWantCody as 2023 & 2024 Royal Rumble Winner Cody Rhodes, who seems to have chosen Seth Rollins… or has he? Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns walks off a plane with Paul Heyman, saying “The only guy that matters is here now.” And here’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, cateye glasses and all, who might just face Roman at WrestleMania.

We get a good intro video highlighting things that have happened at Manias, including Daniel Bryan and Sasha Banks. We’re shown most of the big Mania moments we are usually shown over the years that involve people we haven’t banished to the shadow realm.

And now, Pizza Hut delivers the WrestleMania XL Kickoff event! Were at the usual kickoff show desk with Michael Cole, here to introduce our panel. First we have Pat McAfee, who says many, many words as he does. Michael notes he is undefeated at WrestleMania, which isn’t true but we’ll allow. Big E is introduced as one of the most entertaining men on the planet with his many titles and it’s so good to see him. E says he’s here just to keep CM Punk from getting fired. That brings us to CM Punk, his many accolades and “most importantly the husband of AJ Lee.” Punk is glad to be here with Michael Cole and all the Cole-Miners.

Cole asks about Big E’s neck. E says he’s in good health. When Cole asks about Punk’s tricep, he says it sucks. Punk says his mouth still works and he’s still going to piss some people off. Cole talks to Pat about having The Rock on the Pat McAfee Show today as we pause for “Rocky” chants. Pat says Rock acknowledged his fans – we stop for a “we want Cody” chants – then talk about Cody fans and the third group, the Cody Crybabies.

Cole talks with Punk, who asks where these fans were in 2013. Punk says it is hard to not be in the mix physically but the road to Mania will be very spicy. Punk says they should all have chips on their shoulders and compares it to Tom Brady being put in the Super Bowl over other quarterbacks. Big E says he is here to beat the drum for Cody. He mentions Cody does Make A Wishes, what he has done for Brody’s family, and that he’s that guy you want as the face of the show.

WrestleMania XL Kickoff is brought to you by WWE 2K24! Preorder today!

We pitch back to Jackie Redmond. She confirms Rock is in the building and he is excited to address the media today.

Byron Saxton is with Paul Heyman and Roman’s belt. Byron asks what mood Roman is in. “MOOD?” Paul makes fun of Byron and says the mood is the same as it has been for years. They’ve heard the chants. Everybody is really talking about which man gets to main event WrestleMania with Roman Reigns. Paul walks off, shouting “My Tribal Chief, how’s your mood? Byron wants to know!”

Back to the panel and Cole asks who Roman wants. Pat says Rock to find out who the true Head of the Table is. E agrees, as the biggest global superstar. Punk says understanding box office, Roman wants the Rock. However, it’s more who Roman doesn’t want and that’s Cody.

Breaking news! WWE Speed is coming to Twitter, which I’m not calling the letter. Matches will be five minutes or less. I kinda like it, if it’s made important that they’ve got to win in five minutes. I think the tests they did involved a point system. As long as it doesn’t eventually become Main Event-like in where it’s the same six guys every episode.

Michael introduces Paul “Triple H” Leveque as we get the whole entrance on the big stage. Triple H chants. H reminisces about 1985 and the tag team match that took place to start it all. Mixed reaction for Hogan. Mania launched WWE into a global juggernaut today selling out stadiums over the globe. He talks about cable TV, pioneering PPVs, launching streaming and the Netflix deal. He lists a whole list of male superstars the company has launched. Guess we’ll find a female superstar one day! We’re taking it to a whole new level with Mania XL and it’s a whole new WWE. Las Vegas, are you ready? We start the road to Mania, which I thought started at the Rumble.

Cole and McAfee are on stage as we take a special look at our first guest, Bianca Belair. Video package!

And we welcome Bianca Belair to a nice reception. If Bianca is going to do one thing every time, it’s high fashion. EST chants. Bianca says it’s amazing to be here to talk about Mania. She says the road to Mania is why she and her husband Montez Ford decided to film their docuseries Love & WWE on Hulu. Hey, you can find a recap of the first episode here!

Bianca notes that she made history with Sasha Banks (good reception) as the first two black females to main event Mania. She tore the house down with Becky Lynch. She defeated Asuka and walked out for a third time as champion. This year she isn’t walking in as champion but it’s okay, because she’s going to continue her undefeated streak. She doesn’t know what she’s doing there yet, but you can’t spell “WrestleMania” without “EST.” Michael notes that Bianca starts her road tomorrow on SmackDown as she has an Elimination Chamber qualifying match.

Now we take a look at the Eradicator in the certified Miss Peacockery Segment of the Night. Video package of Rhea being a badass and stomping people and looking like she does.

Pat says Rhea is running WWE right now as Michael introduced Rhea Ripley to a very loud reception. I swoon. Rhea without crazy goth makeup is even hotter than with goth makeup, somehow. “Mami’s here.” Mami chants. She says people dream of being at Mania, but this is Mania XL and it’s special because Mami is walking in and out as the most dominant woman. She’s very good at working this crowd. More Mami chants. She says it was no surprise that Bayley decided to turn on her friends and challenge “Io Shirai” instead of her. Mami says she has Mania before Mania with the Chamber in Australia, her home country. Once she’s done dealing with Nia Jax, she’ll be ready to beat whoever wins. Mami is always… and Becky Lynch’s music hits.

The fans do the Becky music chants. Becky says you can’t have a big time press conference without Big Time Becks. Becky chants. She says she’s officially in the Chamber, which means she is going to win which means she is going to challenge Rhea at Mania for the first time ever. We get our third “Mami” chant. Becky says it matters who Rhea faces because she’s made a career of knocking women off top. “Mami is going to learn what it’s like to be a bottom” and we get the stare down with Adam Pearce there to separate them. It’s wild we talk about tops and bottoms now, but I’m here for it.

Cole runs us through Rhea’s match against Nia Jax at Elimination Chamber as well as the women’s Chamber. Becky is qualified. Tomorrow on SmackDown, Bianca faces Michin in a qualifying match.

Earlier today, Seth Rollins – Blog of Doom favorite! – arrived. Still to come tonight: Seth! Roman! Cody! Rock!

Pizza Hut commercial. WWE 2K24 commercial with the AI Stone Cold that is my new sleep paralysis demon. The story is not finished, we’re told. Scott’s Mailbag has had thoughts on that this week. Many thoughts. SO MANY THOUGHTS.

We get a clip package on the first WrestleMania, including a shot of Wendi Richter. Toni Storm would not be happy if she watched anything from the last six decades.

WrestleMania XL Kickoff is brought to you by Pizza Hut. Nobody out pizzas the hut! Cole and McAfee talk as we throw to a Seth Rollins video package.

And here is Seth “Freakin” Rollins in shiny tux but more importantly the cutest shoes with giant bows and I need the intel on where he got them. The crowd sings along with his theme for a while, which will annoy people who hate other people having fun. “Still a pretty big pop.” Seth says we’re on the road to Mania Extra Large, the biggest Mania of all time. He says let’s cut to the chase and get ourselves a main event, but he’s the prize at the end of the road and introduces the American Nightmare Cody Rhodes.

We don’t get “Kingdom” though, we get the Tribal Chief’s music and Roman and Paul. “Tribal Chief” chants mixed with boos. Roman tells the crowd to acknowledge him, which they do with boos. Seth says, “He showed up for work once” and Roman says “he showed up to work in his wife’s shoes.” Roman wants to talk about someone who matters, Cody Rhodes. “The man who can’t make his own choices, Mr. Hesitation.” He hesitated and it’s no longer Cody’s decision, it’s Roman’s decision. Roman says tonight he chooses who faces him. “I choose…” pause for Cody chants “I choose The Rock.”

Seth tells him that’s not how it works as The Rock’s music hits and here he is to a mixed ovation, more boos than cheers. The Rock signature armraise gets mostly boos. The music drops and there’s a slight “Rocky” chant buried in boos. He goes to speak but stops due to the rising boos. He tries again and stops again as the boos rise. Finally, The Rock has come back to Las Vegas. The video backdrop now features Roman and Rock.

Rock asks the crowd if they think Roman is going to beat Rock. Mostly boos. Do they think Rock is going to beat Roman? Mostly boos. “We want Cody” chant. Very vocal crowd. There’s 10% of me that thinks he’s not this good of an actor and he’s a little shaken. “Or do you think Rock and Roman Reigns will be the biggest main event in the history of WWE?” Still boos. Rock says he loves the passion and welcomes the press. “We want Cody” chant. He welcomes the Universe, everyone watching around the world. He welcomes the MILLIONS and, “I introduce you to the Cody Crybabies.”

As part of his TED Talk, Rock shows us the Bloodline family tree on the video screen to a ton of “what” chants. He says that when you look at the tree, you see The Rock’s grandfather and Roman’s grandfather. They made a blood oath that says family forever. He’s been around Vin Diesel too much. Rock says this is proof that this is proof that there is only one powerful and royal family in wrestling. Boos. “Save your boos!” He tells us that it doesn’t matter what you think. WrestleMania 40, whether you like it or not, the People’s Champion in the biggest main event bound by blood. Rock and Roman embrace as we hear, “Hold on, this is bullshit.”

And here’s Cody Rhodes to cheers and chants. Cody tells Roman that Roman has a lot of stroke but it’s not his right to determine the main event. Cody tells Rock they had a wonderful conversation, but he’s made his decision. He looks back at Seth and then says in the main event, “I choose you Roman Reigns.” Roman: “You must be crazy!” Roman points to Seth and tells him to go over with the loser bracket and that Cody was only a chapter in his book and nobody cares about him finishing his story. He says he’s irrelevant, just like his dad.

Cody asks how Jey is and that Roman’s not a family but a meal ticket. What does it matter who sits at the table if “neither of you have been doing any of the cooking for the last two years.” Cody says that if either of their grandfathers were here, they’d be ashamed of Roman.

Rock steps up next to Roman. Rick says when you talk about Roman’s family, you’re talking about his family. Same with the ancestors and his blood. “So now we have a problem.”

Rock slaps Cody and we dissolve into a gigantic pull-apart, with Roman and Rock yelling at Cody and Seth and the various executives trying to separate them. Seth yells to Rock that they can’t just do whatever they want and Roman says yes they can. The boos are loud for Rock and Roman as we head back to the kickoff table to talk about things.

Punk says Cody is too diplomatic and he would’ve punched him back. Big E says it’s explosive and wonders if we are building to a tag and he has no idea where we are going. Michael asks what happens with Seth. Pat says the Bloodline is flexing as the graphic on the screen changes to Roman and Cody.

Michael asks Punk if Cody can finish the story. Punk says yes but he has to swing back. Big E reminds us that Rock is part of the board and has ties with Nick Khan, so good luck to Cody. Pat echoes that but Rock having ties to the Bloodline as well. Michael again wonders what happens to Seth. Punk says he needs to take his balls out of his purse and punch somebody. Big E says it’s the time now, not next year or SummerSlam, to finish the story. E questions if we see both matches since we have two nights.

Jackie Redmond is backstage with Triple H. H says moments like this are difficult and people go into business for themselves. Rock and Roman walk by. Rock tells Paul “fix it.” Triple H tells him it was out of line and Rock says it wasn’t. “Fix it or we will.”

Back to the panel. Punk says let them fight to fix it. It’s pro wrestling! He says that there are a lot of man-buns and a lot aren’t attached to men. Michael thanks the crew and says we’ll see you on Raw as we end with a Mania video package and more of The Weeknd.

I enjoyed this. The presentation was well done and, well, things are interesting now.