Peacockery Pick: WWE Total Divas – A Leg Up (season one, episode seven)

First airing on September 8, 2013, the seventh episode of Total Divas – “A Leg Up” – aired on E! You can find it now streaming on Peacock, Hulu, and internationally through WWE Network. It drew a 1.09 in the ratings.

There are some appearances by people I don’t very much care to see ever again in this series, including one this episode. I’m going to mostly ignore them here as best can while moving forward in the series. Hopefully this recap will be a distraction if you need one, and I promise to give you a break from the onslaught of his face being the featured image of the morning and evening news updates. Here, look at Trinity instead!

We start in Tampa, FL with Eva Marie taking a phone call from Kristin, SVP WWE Entertainment Relations. She does this while holding the phone with both hands while driving, which you shouldn’t do. Kristin lets her know that she’s been chosen to do a shoot for Maxim, which has always been her dream.

Intro video!

We’re at Unnamed Arena as Brie & Nikki Bella arrive. They sign autographs and take pictures with fans. Brie says that every since they’ve returned, the Bellas have gotten to work so much, go to special events and mingle with celebrities. “That’s how you know you’ve made it.” Nikki says she’s so happy to be back.

Meanwhile, at Ariane’s Apartment, we have Vincent, Ariane’s Boyfriend, asking what she’s doing tonight. She has a red carpet event and he asks why he isn’t going. She mentions he told her he had stuff to do and he whines that he really wants to go. He’s the worst. We flashback to last week’s drunken antics as Ariane says they haven’t been on the same page lately. He tells her that he has canceled plans many times to spend time with her as if she, you know, should cancel work things to spend time with him. She yells at him to leave her alone and let her finish her makeup.

John Cena’s House. Nikki tells us that being sports entertainers puts a lot on their bodies. They have a stretch therapist over, which seems nice, and they work on Nikki. John Cena, Nikki’s Boyfriend / WWE Superstar tells her it is difficult to not “gaze into your femininity” which is probably something a human has said before. The stretch therapist mentions he learned it on YouTube while Nikki whispers to John that she is now more flexible.

Grand Rapids, Michigan. We’re at HopCat for a meal with Nattie, Eva, Ariane and JoJo. Eva breaks the Maxim news to the ladies who express delight, with Nattie saying she’s proud. Nattie tells us Eva has an “it factor.” Ariane says she’s worried about the newbies because they can take your place quickly. Jojo tells us she is happy for Eva but bummed that she’s not getting this push and needs to do something to be noticed.

And now we’re back in Tampa at Eva Marie & JoJo’s Apartment. JoJo is doing vocal warmups and singing the National Anthem, reminding us she’s a vocal queen. JoJo tells us how much she loves singing and tells Eva she wants to bring singing into her character. Eva mentions to us that she wonders if JoJo is here to wrestle or sing.

We’ve moved on to Unnamed Restaurant where the core crew, minus Trinity, are eating. Eva tells them all the Maxim news. Nikki tells us it is threatening. Ariane tells the group that Vinny wants his parents to meet her parents. She says that only happens in his culture as a big step. She tells us she isn’t ready for marriage and needs more time with him. The girls ask if she loves him. “I have love for him but I do not love him yet.” Well. Ariane questions if he is the one as Nikki tells us she would do anything for John because he’s the one.

Hartford, CT. We’re at the XL Center for Raw. We see footage of the Bellas & AJ Lee against the Funkadactyls & Kaitlyn as Nikki tells us she wants to be the #1 WWE Diva. We see Kaitlyn throw Brie into Nikki, which causes Nikki to tumble to the floor. Nikki says it made her shin jam into her knee and her leg is seriously hurt.

Backstage, Brie tells Nikki to go to the doctor as Nikki tells us about having a rod and screws put in due to a soccer injury years ago. Brie tells Nikki that if she doesn’t go to a doctor, she’s going to go tell John and WWE. Nikki is worried about her face disappearing from programming again if she goes out with an injury.

Los Angeles. Eva arrives for her photo shoot. She fawns over her “glam squad” as they get her ready. Photo shoot! They say she’s a natural and she says this is beyond her wildest dreams.

Back to Tampa and we’re at Buddy Brew Coffee with John taking photos with other patrons. Nikki tells John about her shin and he tells her that the first thing he does when there is even a question about pain, he gets checked out. She says she doesn’t have time, and he tells her she has time for everything else. He says the worst thing for being injured to him was being out solo but he promises it won’t be that way for her if she’s injured.

Back to Los Angeles as Ariane and Vincent as well as Glitty, Ariane’s Dog go for a manicure. She gets Glitty’s nails done as Vincent tells her that he wants her to meet his dad. Ariane isn’t really paying him attention. He again tells her that her dad wants to meet her and to fit that into her schedule. She says she doesn’t even have time to scratch her ass but says she’s down. She tells us that she feels guilty saying no because it’s important to him.

Tampa, Eva & JoJo’s Apartment. Eva talks about how cool the shoot was and shows JoJo one of the photo proofs. She notices JoJo is standoff-ish and asks what’s wrong. Eva tells us in a talking head that she doesn’t have time for JoJo’s games.

Powerhouse Gym in Tampa. Hey, Trinity is here! Jon Uso, Trinity’s Boyfriend / WWE Superstar is here to work out with Trinity and JoJo. They talk about the Maxim shoot and JoJo says it makes her want to step up and do something. JoJo runs the idea of singing before Raw to Trinity who tells her that she can sing. Jon tells them to “talk and workout.”

Trinity tells her WWE is all about entertainment and that JoJo is onto something here. As JoJo expresses her fear, Trinity says she will go out there with her to do it. Trinity wonders if they should do their song, the infamous “Somebody Call My Mama” which brings us our unfortunate Brodus Clay sighting of the week. Trinity says they can bring Ariane in the mix too, which will give them all more airtime and they’ll be like Destiny’s Child.

The Bellas are walking the halls of Sunrise Hospital to get Nikki’s bone scan. Unnamed Doctor tells her it’ll take about five minutes as she expresses her anxiety. They explain to her that they’ll send the images to the WWE doctors and they’ll make a decision. Well, the doctoring in 2013 in WWE was sometimes a choice. She says she’s mad at herself for not taking care of this before. Brie is upset because Nikki is being rude to her and that if Nikki goes down, it takes her down too.

Nattie and Eva are driving. Eva says that she lives and trains with JoJo 24/7 and she’s noticing that JoJo is messy. Nattie says JoJo needs to focus on wrestling moves and not making a girl band. Nattie says everyone can’t make it or “we’d have fifty girls running around that worked at Hooters.” Then she realized Eva worked at Hooters.

Trinity and JoJo arrive at Emerald City Recording Studio, where Trinity says they are re-recording their theme song and they want to show WWE their idea. We meet Shawn, Trinity’s Dad. He got them the studio as somebody who has been in the business. JoJo absolutely BELTS the opening note and then we hear the women singing together.

Los Angeles and we’re here to meet Andy, Vincent’s Dad. Glitty has also come. Andy pretty quickly tells Ariane that he wants to do things for their wedding. Andy jokes with Ariane about leaving his son alone every four days and Vincent says his dad wants grandkids. Ariane says she doesn’t want kids for about seven years. Andy tells us that he doesn’t want his son not married with no responsibility.

Back from break, Eva Marie washes dishes. She tells us there is still friction and feels like JoJo is jealous. Jane Geddes, SVP WWE Talent Relations & Development calls JoJo and tells her that she listened to the song and it’s awesome. She says she would love to figure out how to add it into the Funkadactyls entrance. JoJo is thrilled because she’s going to sing on national television for her debut.

Ariane kisses Glitty and Vincent freaks out because he has to kiss her. Vincent is all the red flags. He takes her to XIV Carrots Ltd, which is trying too hard as a business name, and we are ring shopping. She tells us she’s at a loss for words. Vincent says his dad wants them to get married so maybe they can take the next step. And she walks out. Outside, she tells him it’s pressure and she needs time. She says she needs to take a step back and he’s throwing too much at her. She cries and tells him she’s sorry. Vincent says he can give her the break and no matter what, he’ll be there.

We are backstage at a different unnamed arena where the Bellas meet with the legendary Dr. Michael J. Sampson, WWE Doctor. She shows them the bone scan, which shows a fracture. That said, he advises crutches and about twelve weeks out without physicality. Nikki is again mad she’s done this to herself and they’re going to have to tell the bosses.

Ariane, Trinity and JoJo are practicing dances for their entrance tonight. Things aren’t working so well. Ariane says it’s been a difficult week as Disgusting Former Chairman walks through and says he is looking forward to their performance tonight. Trinity, in a talking head, tells us she is sick and has a horrible cough.

Back from break we are still in Charleston, SC as Trinity coughs her head off and JoJo says she’s nervous. Eva and Brie are watching on the backstage monitor as the photo welcomes us to Main Event. The trio sing and we are shown a crowd shot of a guy holding his ear. JoJo voiceovers that they can’t hold a harmony as we see Jane Geddes and Nattie watching. Eva says it’s what JoJo gets for not supporting her.

The Funkadactyls tell the Bellas they felt it was okay and Trinity says it was mediocre. JoJo calls it an epic fail.

Mark Currano, Senior Director, WWE Talent Relations meets with the Bellas. Mark says he had a long discussion with the creative team and they don’t know what they can do with them due to the injury. He says they’re going home for however many weeks it is. Nikki feels like her wrestling career is over and we end on a shot of the ladies leaving the building.