Peacockery Pick: Total Divas – Diva Las Vegas (Season 1, Episode 6)

Welcome back to the wonderful (?) world of Total Divas. I needed a good month off of so from recapping this due to life in general and the possibility of seeing Brodus Clay, but we’re back in business.

The sixth episode of Total Divas aired September 1, 2013 on the E! Network. It pulled in a 1.52 rating, which would be its peak until a season two episode in March. Nowadays you can find it on Peacock, Hulu and internationally on the award-winning WWE Network.

We start at the Nassau Coliseum with JoJo, Newbie WWE Diva looking admiringly at Justin Gabriel, WWE Superstar stretching as funky, generic music plays. JoJo tells us that Gabriel is hot. As JoJo and Eva Marie, Newbie WWE Superstar talk, they’re approached by Chris Jericho, WWE Superstar. He asks them to sign… I mean JoJo asks him if Gabriel is single. Jericho picks on her for having a crush.

Intro video!

Now we’re at the XL Center and fans are filing into Raw. Daniel Bryan and Kane fight the Shield. Postmatch, Bryan Danielson, Brie’s Fiance / WWE Superstar gives her a kiss and JoJo tells them that they are the cutest. Brie Bella, WWE Diva tells us that she never thought she would date in the business but she loves this.

Elsewhere in the arena and at a later time, JoJo and Gabriel are sitting on a traveling case looking at her phone. He tells her that she was wearing a sexy dress in a photo. JoJo reminisces on Sebastian, who she says was the love of her life and I say kinda sucked from the limited time we saw him. Eva Marie tells us that she believes JoJo is single but not ready to mingle.

Fast forward (or rewind) a bit and we see JoJo and Eva watching Justin Gabriel on the backstage monitor in a match on Main Event. No, the E! production crew does not expect its core viewer to know that Main Event is a different show or that it was taped before Raw. JoJo wants to invite him to their housewarming party and Eva thinks she should. JoJo tells us that they have a new apartment. As the girls gush over the finish of the match, they get surprised from behind by Michael Hayes, or “weird old guy in a teal outfit with no other identifiers” to the Total Divas viewers.

We move to Tampa and the WWE Training Facility. The Bellas and Funkadactyls are training together in the ring and are joined by Nattie. Nattie tells them she is stressed by wedding planning. The Bellas tell her don’t worry, because they’re planning a bachelorette party. Nattie is worried about TJ finding out and the girls promise to keep it PG-13.

Nattie tells the girls about having dinner with Jaret last episode and his feelings for her. Brie says it could be disastrous and Trinity asks if it is just the attention she likes. Nattie is excited about the upcoming girl time.

We are at JoJo and Eva Marie’s Apartment now. Eva gives JoJo a nice layer of bronzer as JoJo tells us she hopes Justin isn’t the first to arrive to their party because that would be awkward. Eva asks if JoJo thinks Justin will kiss her tonight. JoJo doesn’t know and thanks her for that mental image. The doorbell rings and it’s…

Not Justin Gabriel! The Bellas, Trinity, Nattie, Jon Uso and TJ are all here. Nikki comments on their cheap wine as the plastic wine glass bottom falls off. Eva and JoJo laugh because neither of them drink. TJ, Nattie’s Fiancé / WWE Superstar laughs and eats a mystery substance out of a bowl. I like to think he raided their cereal.

Nikki encourages Brie to drink and unlocked the mythical BRIE MODE. She tells us that Brie’s nickname used to be “Keg Killer” and that Brie Mode faded when Bryan came into her life because he doesn’t like it. Nikki promises Brie Mode when they hit Vegas for the bachelorette.

The doorbell rings again and this time it is Justin Gabriel as the room “awwwwwws” when they hug. Listen, they were cute, I get it. Ariane and Vincent are also here. Nattie tells Brie that TJ is her first and only boyfriend. Trinity says we’re going to have fun, and we get the montage of said fun which mostly includes various asses being shaken.

The girls are all on the couch talking about dating older men, with Ariane telling us about the ex that was 41 when she was 20. This is all in regards to Justin being older than JoJo and yeah, Wikipedia gives them about a thirteen year difference and she was 19 at the time. I had no idea he was that much older (as old as me, which I don’t accept as older).

Jojo takes Justin down the hall and she’s all giggly. They end up kissing to which Trinity yells “put a condom on.” Eva, who was doing this with Fandango about two episodes while having a man, tells us she is worried and doesn’t think JoJo is ready for this.

One commercial break later, JoJo and Justin are wearing matching blue outfits and sitting down for lunch at a casual-ish restaurant. JoJo says she’s excited for their first date. Justin orders a drink and makes a joke about JoJo being too young to drink. JoJo tells him about her pet rabbit and he makes faces. I no longer support this union, he’s a jerk.

Nikki and John Cena, Nikki’s Boyfriend / WWE Superstar are at Mosh Posh, a vintage store, looking for Nattie’s bachelorette party gift. Nikki tells John that Nattie has only ever slept with TJ and that’s crazy. John says she’s happy. John jokes about Nikki’s body count and she says she didn’t mean it like that.

Ariane is looking for her top and Vincent / Ariane’s Boyfriend doesn’t know where it is. He’s upset that she’s going to be partying at the bachelorette and he doesn’t get to go. He tries to invite himself and she declines. He thinks it is messed up that he can’t go.

We’ve made it to Las Vegas. Montage of Vegas! Jojo tells us that she’s smitten with Justin and that they would make some beautiful babies. Girl, no. You would, but no. Bryan Danielson, Brie’s Boyfriend / WWE Superstar is here! Curt Hawkins, WWE Superstar and (yeet) Main Event Jey Uso, WWE Superstar are here! Nattie gets her bachelorette sash as Ariane asks Brie if we get to see Brie Mode. Brie says probably Friday night, but don’t mention it to Bryan.

The girls arrive for a pool party as Jon tells Trinity she’s the hottest one there. Nikki and Nattie take shots. Jaret is texting Nattie and Nikki threatens to kill Jaret. Nikki says Nattie is clearly not picking up the flirting.

Jojo says she’s ready to let loose and have fun. Justin is talking to another girl and Eva tells her that he is running game. JoJo is in denial.

Later on, Trinity asks for Brie Mode. TJ offers a toast to Nattie. Nikki announces the girls are going to Chippendale’s and kicking the men out. And we zoom on to it. Highlights of muscle men! Divas clapping! Nattie gets pulled on stage and roped up by the sexy cowboys, who pull their pants down to a blur.

The drinks are flowing and JoJo can’t drink or gamble. Eva says she doesn’t drink for personal reasons, so they take a walk and see Justin with another girl. JoJo is pissed as we go to commercial.

Justin bounces in a cab with said girl and JoJo says she’s done. She calls that another level of disrespect and thought they had good chemistry. Eva says she warned her and to not mix business with pleasure. The girls talk in the hotel room and JoJo is sad.

The drinks are still heavily flowing for the others and Brie Mode has hit. The girls dance and drunken Brie falls off a bench.

Back to the room and Nattie is still getting texts from Jaret. She says she can’t get him out of her mind. She says she’s not sure if she’s ready for this. Brie tells her that maybe it’s because he makes her feel wanted, like the Chippendales guys did. Nattie knows she loves TJ but she’s a little scared to seal the deal.

Drunken Brie returns to the hotel room with unaware Bryan in bed. She cannot, however, figure out how to unlock the door. She pulls a pair of fuzzy red handcuffs out and puts them on him and he sleepily tells her to take them off.

The morning comes and Bryan is awake and Brie says her head hurts. She tells him not to be mad and that she got into Brie Mode last night. He mentions how obvious that was and it was a bachelorette party, do what you want. She’s relieved he isn’t mad and says he is the greatest man in the whole world, which is hard to argue. Then he does a flying jump onto her on the bed.

The guys and girls are all out to dinner, including Justin Gabriel getting the stinkeye from Eva. Nattie gives a toast about how grateful she is for her friends being there. JoJo says it is awkward that Justin came and sat next to her.

JoJo and Justin go off and talk and he plays with her hair. She tells him that’s the problem, because he does stuff like that then goes off elsewhere. He tells her how beautiful she is but that the age gap is there and she’s too young. He perhaps shouldn’t have kissed her then?

The Bellas are getting ready in the hotel when Brie shouts out “Nicole!” “You let me lay here reading this magazine and you had your vibrator laying by me under the sheets!” The vibrator in question is slung onto the floor as Nikki calls it the purple people eater. “I’m sure it’s an eater.” “I wish!”

Trinity is hanging on the hotel room door and is jealous of Ariane’s room. Ariane tells her that Vincent is coming and there he is banging on the door. Lawd help us. He’s obnoxious and Ariane tells him he is out of control. Trinity peaces out.

The whole gang is out and Nikki toasts to thirteen years of Nattie and TJ. The bachelorette cake arrives and is a muscly chest and bikini briefs. Vincent freaks out about Ariane touching it and then is continually obnoxious with cotton candy. He knocks over a drink and we go to commercial.

We go to Ghost Bar, which fulfills the bar but not the ghost. Dancing montage! Gabriel is still there for some reason. TJ tells Nattie she is everything to her. Vincent is drinking and drinking. Ariane tells us he’s had way too many drinks and she hopes he doesn’t get crazy. Vincent Mode? Nattie tells us that he is acting strange as Vincent is telling everyone how buzzed he is. Vincent and Ariane argue and Trinity says how pissed Ariane is. Vincent is crying. It’s a mess. He’s a mess. Ariane takes him out and he’s so embarrassing.

Nattie says it has been the trip of a lifetime and this has brought her and TJ closer. Happy celebratory ending!