NWA WCW Superstars on the Superstation (all Dream Matches!)

1980s sex symbols!

NWA WCW SUPERSTARS ON THE SUPERSTATION:
(World Championship Wrestling, Feb. 7th 1986)
* By request, it’s a supercard featuring the NWA guys! I’m going in totally blind, so I wonder what we’re gonna see.

Just a reminder- I AM NOT A WRESTLING HISTORIAN. I never watched NWA growing up, I don’t think I saw any non-WWF wrestling until 1996 and the only stuff I know about this era comes from WWF DVD sets and Scott Keith reviews. So you can take your “Whattaya mean you’ve only seen one Magnum TA match or never seen Ivan Koloff before?” and stick it in your ear! YOUR EAR, I SAY!

We open with Magnum TA (I think- he’s a blonde guy with a country rock mullet!) riding a motorcycle while hillbilly Willie Nelson music plays. Oh yeah, this is how you fight Hogan’s WWF, alright. Your hosts are Magnum and Linda Curry, who has the GREATEST ’80s hair. She appears to have no link to wrestling- maybe some local newscaster or semi-celebrity? Others reviewing this show compare her to Susan St. James showing up in the WWF. Oh, but actual commentary is by David Crockett (ah, so that’s what he looks like) and Tony Schiavone.

NWA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
THE ROCK & ROLL EXPRESS (Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson) vs. THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS (Beautiful Bobby Eaton & Loverboy Dennis Condrey, w/ Jim Cornette):
* Oh hey, these two teams have good chemistry I bet! They carried their feud in all the Southern territories. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Eaton/Condrey version of the MX. Condrey is the image I have of all Southern wrestlers- short, squat, portly and with a hairy dad-bod and bad hair. He’s in short black trunks and Eaton’s in black tights. The RnRs are in matching black tights with tassels hanging off them, looking like Chachi’s jeans in Happy Days. The difference between WWF & WCW is very obvious here- a dimly-lit arena and a bunch of portly or skinny guys in plain outfits and an aversion to sunlight. Of course, they’re all AWESOME but the visual differences are important here!

The Midnights attack before the bell like good heels, tossing the faces to the floor. But Ricky soon uses the ropes to vault both Midnights to the floor and the brawl is on! Bobby & Dennis get bounced around (who invented the “atomic drop the heels into each other” spot? These guys?) and the match starts properly with Eaton/Gibson. Eaton of course punches Gibson on a corner break and gets slugged for it and is OFFENDED. Gibson repeatedly humiliates him, and Morton adds his own stuff, popping Condrey to get his goat, too. Eaton tries a comeback but gets back body dropped on the concrete, selling his ass off while Gibson/Condrey fight in the ring, and only barely escapes Ricky again. Condrey immediately gets his leg worked, flopping on the mat like a fish, and the faces even thread a double-team into a double-punch on Eaton on the apron! Condrey gets a kneeshot but as if remembering his leg is hurt, jolts to the mat and writhes in agony. Fistdrop off Bret’s rope to the knee! Condrey’s able to escape, but Bobby can only throw a couple of punches (DAMN he’s got a good “slap the palm” on that- that’s an A-tier punch) before he’s suplexed, but he FINALLY gets one over by catching Gibson and slingshotting him into a waiting Condrey and NOW we go to Midnights on offense.

We start with some good down-home cheating, Cornette adding shots with a belt, and Eaton nails the Alabama Jam (flying legdrop)! How did that portly fucker manage HANGTIME on that? He doesn’t go for the pin (Monsoon would be all over him for that), instead provoking Ricky so Condrey can fire off some shots, and gets two. Condrey’s very… flourish-y with how he moves, doing these elaborate poses before hitting these short, tight rabbit-punches to his opponents, flailing his arms after the impact and hopping along. Flying Kneedrop by Eaton! Short clothesline by Condrey and Gibson does a good “rolling sell” kickout and some “fighting on instinct” selling while punching, flopping around, and Cornette has at him with the belt again. They switch to restholds to wear Gibson down, and Eaton flies in with a fistdrop (man other wrestlers must have hated these guys doing so many highspots out there)- Gibson finally fights out of a second chinlock and KNEELIFT! ooooooh but he rolled to the wrong corner! Such drama. Gibson finally manages a sunset flip, aided by Morton, for two. But Condrey’s right back on him, pounding a flailing Gibson and hitting a backbreaker… but the Rocket Launcher misses! Morton gets the hot tag! Punches for everyone! Double Dropkick (their finisher; yes, really!) to Eaton! But he takes out the ref on the sell- Condrey gets double-dropkicked to the floor, and the RnRs see Cornette on the apron and it’s PAYBACK time! Jim literally begs and pleads not to be hurt as Morton prepares the belt himself for glorious revenge, but this allows Condrey to sneak up behind him with the loaded tennis racket. Gibson brawls with Condrey and Cornette puts Eaton on top for the pin at the NWA Tag Titles at (16:27)- Midnight Express steal one! The injustice!

Tag Wrestling 101 here- NWA style. The heels eat offense and get humiliated for ten straight minutes, then get a double-team to take over and take the back half of the match. Gibson “played Ricky Morton” here and did a great job, kinda lolling his head around and windmilling his arms ineffectually as if he’s trying to fight holds but didn’t have the energy to do it. He gets the quick little comebacks, JUST enough to make the fans buy it, but gets killed again and again. Bobby hits THREE top-rope moves to wear him down, rarely going for the pin (which is a bit weird), and right after the hot tag we go into the final series and the Midnights cheat to win like good heels.

Rating: ***3/4 (excellent pro wrestling by the guys who know all the tricks)

Observation: David Crockett is ass on commentary. He’s way too excited for EVERYTHING, marking out for the simplest of moves in the opening minute like it’s the finale of the match. If you treat every move as huge, then no move is huge (like the MOVEZ quandary of today). He’s like Bumblebee Man doing soccer commentary on The Simpsons (“He takes the ball. HOLDS IT… HOLDS IT… HOLDS ITTTTTTTTTT!”)

An ad for Starrcade ’85 on VHS! For only $39.95! … wait. Jesus christ that’s a LOT of money for 1986! *googles* $108. A HUNDRED AND EIGHT DOLLARS!

We go to the back for the Midnight Express in a victory promo! Well, Cornette’s, as Condrey is busy resuscitating Eaton on the floor. Compare this to Moxley selling victory by popping up and stomping around like nothing happened and he had fun, lol. Cornette of course mentions his “mama” to put over his heel act and they drape a belt across Eaton slumped back in a chair- at least Condrey is having a good time now.

THE ROAD WARRIORS (Hawk & Animal, w/ Paul Ellering) vs. IVAN & NIKITA KOLOFF:
* This is a blood feud, featuring multiple instances of a three-man Russian squad beating down the Road Warriors and doing run-ins- Hawk getting hanged by a chain, etc. Nikita is MONSTROUSLY roided here, though I feel that people fantasy-booking him vs. Hogan aren’t taking into account how much smaller he is- Hawk is shorter than Hogan, but is noticeably taller than Nikita. Ivan is squatter and dumpier- a good Southern heel look (though he’s Canadian). The Russians are in red singlets while the Warriors are in black tights.

Nikita starts with Animal, getting his boot up in the corner but leaping off right into a bearhug- an impressive spot on a pretty hefty dude. Both do slams but miss dropping moves, and in comes Hawk. The Russians double-team him, but he quickly no-sells and beats on Ivan, punching him out of a flying axehandle and hitting a shoulderbreaker. Animal press-slam & Hawk fistdrop get two and Ivan keeps lolling back and flopping around off everything. Baron Von Raschke comes out to cheer on the Russians, who pop Hawk from the apron and work him over. Ivan pulls out a chain to strangle him, and they repeatedly double-team him- Hawk’s selling is terrible. Hawk makes a comeback with a shoulderblock and that brings in Nikita & Animal, and the Baron comes in during the melee to try embarrassing old man offense on Hawk. Hawk kinda ignores it and tries to nail Ivan, but gets tripped up and now Baron just openly cheats and that’s the Disqualification at (6:55). We get a 3-on-3 brawl to end it, Ellering ducking a double-chain clothesline and sending the Russians to the floor, where Animal tees off on them with the chain- the heels get clobbered and the fans are given a happy ending.

Horrible, horrible match. Ivan was merely passable and Hawk & Nikita were actively bad. It’s interesting to contrast Hawk with Gibson- Hawk is SELLING here, but he’s not really drawing the fans in or anything. He just acts hurt and collapses instead of reacting like he’s fighting or trying to bring the fans in. Nikita was obviously being heavily protected as he was always on the apron or doing one move then tagging out, and Hawk’s selling was terrible. Add to that it’s a weak finish.

Rating: * (super weak, forgettable match)

The hillbilly showcase continues with a race car driver. They start talking about his new Oldsmobile and Magnum TA talks about how much he’d love to be in a car going 200 mph. NO MAGNUM DON’T.

We do “Talk to the Audience” (ugh, this is always death)- the ladies love the Rock & Rolls, Magnum TA and Dusty. Now it’s a sit-down interview with Dusty & Willie Nelson, who is advertising a Stagecoach remake in the most bored manner possible (“It’s just a…. good Western, y’know…”).

NATIONAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP:
DUSTY RHODES (w/ Baby Doll) vs. TULLY BLANCHARD (w/ J.J. Dillon):
* It’s Dusty vs. Tully! I’m not sure of the precise issue here, but presumably it’s due to Tully Blanchard being Tully Blanchard. Man, what an epic sneer this guy has. I want to see him beaten up already. Dusty is bloated and stocky, as usual, in black trunks, while Tully’s in red.

Tully plays evasive but gets taken down and his leg worked while Dusty works the fans, hitting a figure-four for a couple seconds- Tully milks the HELL out of that, limping around ringside and selling the pain. He begs like a coward and writhes in agony off of toeholds while the fans chant “BREAK IT! BREAK IT!”- Tully gets his leg wrapped around the post but Dusty hurts his leg coming off the top rope with a shot. An old leg injury, once protected by a special boot. Now Tully pounces, twisting at the leg while Dusty writhes instead. Dusty now takes a figure-four, finally managing to reverse after a while, but JJ pulls Tully into the ropes behind the ref’s back. They bring up the time limit a bunch (minutes into the match, in fact) so you KNOW how this one is ending. Dusty reverses a corner whip and Tully springs off the corner, but gets caught in mid-air and backbreakered, and Dusty hits the belly-to-belly while JJ has the ref distracted- this sends Dusty over there but he gets kneed to the floor in a pretty weak spot (Tully barely grazes him and Dusty takes a slow bump).

Dusty gets worked over a tad, but barely sells and immediately makes a comeback, Tully wibble-wobbling over the scintillating punches, flopping around and throwing whiffed counterpunches like a doofus, and gets suplexed back into the ring when he tries to escape, and that GETS THE PIN, except JJ sticks Tully’s foot on the ropes. Hahah a regular-ass suplex? Dusty goes on the chase, but Tully pounces and “whips” Dusty into the apron. Tully throws punches and Dusty’s finally selling well, rolling down in the corner, but wins a backslide for two. A dramatic atomic drop & football tackle to the leg have Tully floundering, and Dusty methodically throws his overhand elbows while Tully calls spots- JJ trips Dusty so Tully nearly pins him, but this time Dusty’s too smart (of course) to get caught and catches Tully trying to sneak in. Dusty beats him up and puts on a Boston crab for… well obviously Time’s Up at (16:35 we’re pretending is 20:00), and Dusty thinks he’s won. Well I might have bought it if they hadn’t telegraphed it FIFTEEN FRIGGIN’ MINUTES AGO! Dully goes after JJ again, so Tully takes out his leg and then hits a piledriver.

Man I’m trying to appreciate Dusty’s in-ring stuff but… but I just CAN’T. He’s so bad, haha. He’s doing this thing where he barely wants to sell AT ALL, because god forbid people don’t think he can beat Tully’s ass easily and at-will, so he’s making his own comebacks super-rapidly and never even does the “Are you with me?!” kind of selling that a babyface should. It’s very “Hogan-in-1996-WCW”. And naturally his ideal match at this point involves him lying down for ten minutes. Thank God Tully was out there doing a masterclass in looking like a hapless doofus while selling, collapsing, wobbling and bumping all over the place. Dusty is a classic “promos only” guy because his selfishness, laziness, and gobbling up the other guy is so apparent, here.

Rating: *3/4 (long and mostly boring. Tully selling his ass off saved it)

Now it’s time for hype! Jim Crockett Jr. announces the first annual Jim Crockett Sr. Memorial Cup for tag teams from all over the world, and they hype a Ric Flair vs. Ronny Garvin match. Joel Watts talks to the head of the Superdome, looking at sounding like a combination of Gabe from The Office and Murphy from The Good Doctor.

NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
RIC FLAIR vs. RON GARVIN:
* It’s a major World Title match, this one featuring the Nature Boy defending against local Atlanta boy (EDIT: OKAY HE’S CANADIAN. But the announcer said he was from “Right here in Atlanta, Georgia!” so I am blameless!) Ronnie Garvin. Garvin’s in white trunks & Flair’s in green. Garvin’s bleach-blond mini-mullet is an affront to God.

Immediately we see the stakes as Flair throws a chop, but gets one in return and actually backs off, as if realizing he can’t slug it out. They do a criss-cross and Garvin just SPLATTERS him with an overhand chop, leaving Flair bailing with an angry look on his face. Ric tries some stuff but HANDS OF STONE leave him Flair Flopping, then sells desperation as Garvin keeps hammering away at him. Using a blatant choke to counter an armbar shows more of that, and they just fire off on each other, Garvin with Flair every step of the way, trying to pull his nose off. Flair is just dying, writhing as his arms is stomped and trying to fight dirty to get away, and finally goes in hard to the corner and Garvin works the arm. Flair tries a comeback (holding the arm limp at his side) but gets chopped OVER the top rope, which Tony explains as not a DQ since it’s “momentum” and not being tossed. ugh NWA rulesets.

Garvin puts on a sloppy sleeper and Flair backdrop suplexes him and stomps on his stomach, Garvin doing the “twitch sell” off that, and Ric adds a vertical suplex & kneedrop, but he makes the mistake of slapping Garvin and now he’s fired up again and they start going at each other’s hair and throats. Flair sells a right hand like a potential KO, kicking out at two and begging off. haha, ref Tommy Young is wincing with each headbutt as Garvin keeps the lead, Flair Flips back into the ring, and Garvin keeps trying for a count after a vertical suplex. They do a pin-reversal bit into Garvin’s backslide for two, then a cross-body for the same and Flair’s eyebrows and eyes make it SUPER obvious he’s keeping an eye on Young’s counts to try his kickouts. Flair does another Flip after getting the crap slapped out of him, and charges to the other side… but flies into a fist! Garvin with an inside cradle for two, but Flair gets a chop for two and yells at Young, ending up pushing him out of the ring when Garvin strikes. Flair takes a backslide and then Hands of Stone for “four-counts” but Young’s out, and when he helps Young get back up, Flair knees him in the small of the back. Garvin gets his foot on the ropes on the pin, but Flair wisely hooks the leg and it counts at (14:33)- Flair retains!

A very “Ric Flair” kind of match- eating nearly 80% of the offense and looking like he’s dying. A lot of the great carry-artists are people who can take what their opponent is good at and put it over as much as possible- Flair, Bret Hart, Aja Kong, etc. Aja, for example, would put over Kyoko Inoue’s explosiveness, Manami Toyota’s speed and reversals, or Akira Hokuto’s craziness. Flair, in this case, put over Garvin’s signature strikes, acting like every move was KILLING him and sending him flat-backing (er, side-backing, in his case- he never flat-backed after the plane crash) to the mat. Garvin wasn’t a slouch at other stuff, but this was his specialty, so Flair made sure it all looked like murder to take (and probably was- Bobby Eaton earlier was “self-slapping” his palm but these were sure as shit stiff). And he gets a classic bit at the end with Garvin getting two “visual pins” (though Nick Bockwinkel has noted that “You don’t KNOW it would have been a pin, because wrestlers are trained to always kick out after hearing a two-count”), then Flair fights dirty and pins him.

Rating: ***1/2 (pretty classic Flair Template, just eating an ass-kicking and barely winning- great selling even if the finish was fairly weak- a knee to the back scores a pin?)

An interesting show, but a total mess of long, boring interview segments featuring dull, lifeless businessmen with no charisma at all. You think Vince McMahon would let that shit on TV? HELL NO- his guys had a jai-alai scoop’s worth of cocaine up their nose before stepping in front of the mic! Never mind that this is in some darkened arena and half the wrestlers are pot-bellied compared to Vince’s roided behemoths. A few guys had “The Look” (Road Warriors, Nikita) and sure, some of the “pot-bellied Southerner” acts were great workers (Condrey, Eaton), but visuals are important and this show looked cheap compared to the glitzy WWF product at the time. That might have been how the Southern fans liked it, too- dark and gritty (though acts like the Russians, Cornette & Tully were as cartoonish as any WWF stuff).

In-ring, the opener was excellent, and a lot of the other stuff was showcasing for their big stars doing their normal stuff. Dusty was in his usual slog and barely sold anything, but Flair & Garvin let it hang out a lot for a basic Flair match. I will say that the babyfaces not scoring a legit fall in four out of four matches was a CHOICE, likely bred by house show business and stadium shows being the focus, but again isn’t that helpful on a big show. Saturday Night’s Main Event, once it started, would have 50% dirty finishes too, but you’d usually get at least Hogan scoring the win. Not to compare EVERYTHING to the WWF, but the difference is pretty noticeable and these guys were trying to hang with the big boys, and I think there’s some reasons here why they didn’t.