Pro Wrestling Crusaders – Starting Third 05/01/93

Kitakyushu, Fukuoka, Japan
Prince Hotel Multipurpose Hall
Attendance: 1,595

Previously In PWC….

Are there dogs?

Yes.

Iron Horse starts off the show by yelling a promo in English and calling Shunji Takano “fat” before yelling “ICHIBAN” and leaving. Crowd murmur and move on.

Also the camera pans around to look at all the empty chairs. “Attendance 1,595” pffft yeah sure, are they counting toes?

Prize Money Tournament First Round Match

Masahiro Hashibe vs. Yukimura

So after an English promo, an introduction to the roster and Shunji Takano being presented with an award for being Shunji Takano, we get the first match of a one-night tournament as PWC is suddenly running on filler. Masahiro Hashibe is no-one and so is Yukimura, I hope they remained No-Une Friends after this. Hashibe at least looks hench with those pecs that go around the upper body like hockey pads. Hashibe gets some knee strikes before landing some pleasant dropkicks. He seems impressed with them so he continues to throw them before following with German Suplexes. Yukimura gets his time to shine with a back elbow off the top. There’s something cool about watching two green guys doing whatever the hell they want after the abject boredom of NOW’s identical undercard matches. Yukimura can barely powerbomb Hashibe so he thinks “sod it” and follows it up with a GANSO BOMB because this is PWC MOTHERFUCKER. Match winds down as they try to think of new moves to bust out with a Blue Thunder Bomb getting things back on track. Hashibe lands another German Suplex with a tremendous bridge. Yukimura lands a Tornado DDT and Hashibe kicks out before remembering it’s the finish and uh kicks in at 13:19. Fun like an overfilled burrito spilling onto your lap every time you take a bite.

Prize Money Tournament First Round Match

Masaru Toi vs. Satoshi Kuroda (5:21)

Aw look at skinny future FMW Brass Knucks Champion Kuroda. Toi kicks his arse while wearing flares like a real man, which frustrates Kuroda’s masculinity to the point of him choking his opponent. Toi sends Kuroda outside to calm down but Kuroda comes back with a top rope headbutt. Toi doesn’t even pretend to be hurt before dunking Kuroda with a disgusting Backdrop Driver before finishing with a Boston Crab at 5:21.

This was all about Toi and his windsock trousers.

Prize Money Tournament Semi Final Match

Benkei vs. Takashi Akiyama

Benkei is future forever-rubbish Hideki Hosaka, and Akiyama is no-one but looks like someone. Got the shaved head look and black tights and…OK, that’s about it. Benkei takes him down with an ankle pick as Akiyama tries to kick out. This lasts for like two minutes until Akiyama gets the ropes and fires dropkicks towards Benkei who pretends they hurt before putting away Akiyama with a vicious Onita-style high angle Fire Thunder Powerbomb…for two as Akiyama kicks out and proceeds to wail away on Benkei with strikes as he did not seem happy with that powerbomb. Can’t blame him. Oh so then Benkei ignores those full-on strikes and lands a few of his own and then delivers a much-safer Fire Thunder Powerbomb to end it at 5:41. Well this was perfunctory until that dangerous move, hooray for unsafe wrestling.

Prize Money Tournament Semi Final Match

Masaru Toi vs. Masahiro Hashibe

Toi dominates to start with snap suplexes before remembering this is International Waters and applies a Muta Lock. These matches are very ROH 2002-ish with everyone doing their favourite moves for the hell of it. Giant swing into an ankle pick leads to the spinning ankle lock you can do in No Mercy 64. Tenryu-style Blind Elbow off the top gets two as this show is now illegal in 30 countries. Double stomp off the top leads to a Liger Bomb to end a patchwork quilt of a squash match at 6:50. This would inexplicably be Hashibe’s last PWC match despite showing promise and delicious pecs.

Prize Money Tournament Final Match

Masaru Toi vs. Benkei

Benkei wastes no time slamming Toi on the outside and smashing a chair like it’s John Candy’s snooker cue in Cool Runnings. Toi makes it into the ring before the count and immediately sends Benkei to the outside and follows through (not like that) with a Quebrada and also smashes a chair. Back inside, Benkei applies the world famous No Mercy 64 spinning ankle pick and locks it in with mayo this time around, with Toi having to rotate himself to adjust the pressure so he doesn’t Sid 2001 himself. Toi escapes and hurls tons of kicks Benkei’s way as the crowd laughs. That’s never a good sign. Benkei declines to sell (or maybe he is selling and he isn’t good at it) and throws a spinning wheel kick to Toi, who gets up and gives Benkei one of his own. Toi flies off the top and connects with a high-angle swanton and manages to avoid spiking himself to win this small tournament and the prestigious “Prize Money” at 8:11. Interesting watching boring Benkei wrestle like he means it while in a relaxed setting like this. Match was decent but I was disappointed the dogs didn’t present him with the “Prize Money.”

Gerry Morrow & Shunji Takano vs. Iron Horse & Isao Takagi

Iron Hoss attacks Shunji as he’s making his entrance, probably to save Shunji the energy of walking to the ring. Crowd are alive for this, proving that Takano is at least someone some people are interested in seeing (citation needed). Lovely Lovely Horse works on Shunji until Shunji gets one of his trademark “hitting people for real” slaps to the face, spinning Horse around in the process and requiring Isao to tag in. Match breaks down into a brawl outside but the cameraman doesn’t move so we just hear the noise and imagine the devastation like a cheap horror film. Horse gets isolate and worked over with chinlocks as Isao is somehow the main event hot tag guy? If I was tagging with Isao I’d hope I’d lose. Isao tags in to instantly get the exact same chinlock work-out Morrow was giving his mate just seconds ago. Urgh. Shinji livens things up with some shoot-slaps to wake up Isao to deliver a clothesline and fat splash. Shunji comes in to stop that but sells really weird, like he’s either trying to be a dick or he’s legit drunk. Probably both. Shunji takes a double shoulderblock and pauses before falling and I’m positive he’s “circling the airport.” Horse seems unsure what to do so he locks in a STANDING HAMMERLOCK so Shunji can send him into Morrow’s hard head. That was a lot to absorb in a few seconds. Isao runs into a brutal Shunji lariat before he needs to balance himself against the ropes as he’s .7 on The Sandman scale here.

Like Hak, he’s still able to come off the top rope just fine and ends this fender bender of a main event with a knee drop at 16:10. Another match involving Shunji that was fascinating for all the wrong reasons, but worth a watch if you’re someone who’s into horrible wrestling and unprofessionalism (me).

Overall: This was the last recorded PWC handheld from 1993 so we’ll return for more Takano Twattery in January 1994 as it’ll only get worse/more interesting for this weird little company.

But for now, the worst thing about the company is the same thing affecting NOW and other puro indies: indifference. With so many other companies running the same area, “Shunji cosplaying as Oliver Reed” can only get you so far.

Next week: A company that people were actually happy to spend time on: WAR returns to Osaka!

I’ve been Maffew and I’d have to be drunk to watch Shunji wrestle too