From the pages of WWF Magazine… this week, we look back at an issue that went to press in September of 1988 that sold for $2.50 in the U.S. and $3.25 in Canada. Plus, we get bonus coverage from The Wrestling Observer Newsletter! With a cover featuring the Ultimate Warrior, we’re teased with stories about SummerSlam ’88, Randy Savage, and some guy named Haku who is supposedly the most dangerous man in the WWF. Let’s jump in.
We begin with Around the Ring by Ed Ricciuti, where he shares a letter from a fan. Paul from New York City asks, “When will the Ultimate Warrior get his shot at the Intercontinental Belt held by the dime-store imitation of Elvis?” Ed says this issue reports on just that happening. “It wasn’t scheduled ahead of time. It was by a fluke. But it happened.” Ed promises a full SummerSlam rundown in the pages to come. Meanwhile the second annual Survivor Series is on the way. More on that to come. Finally, Ed asks a question for fans to weigh in on: should Hacksaw Jim Duggan be permitted to carry his two-by-four down to the ring with him? Selected letters will be published.
Next, we move on to Fan Forum, where the editors remind fans they must include their first and last name to be published. “We will not print unsigned letters or those identifying the writer only by a first name.” On to this month’s topic: who’s the sexiest wrestling personality? Some say Don Muraco. Others say the Ultimate Warrior. Another common name mentioned was Bobby Heenan. In fact, Candi from Brooklyn says she’s always considered Bobby “hunky.” “Ever think of doing a centerfold on him?” she asks. But by far, the two names most mentioned are #1: Brutus Beefcake and #2: Bret Hart. “In my opinion, Brutus Beefcake is the handsomest and sexiest wrestler in the WWF,” writes Kacy from Thousand Oaks, California. “The tights he wears would drive any girl wild.” Andrea from Verona, New Jersey, Sherry from Ballston Spa, New York, and Rachael from Shell Rock, Iowa agree, all praising “the Barber.” Then there’s the fans of the Hitman. “I cast my vote for Bret Hart,” says Debbie from Indianapolis. “I would love to cook dinner for him. Afterward, maybe we could take a walk around the neighborhood and get better acquainted.” Other loyal Hitman swooners include Sara from Buffalo, New York, Lonnda from Bloomington, New York, and Tisha from Reading, Pennsylvania. (Do they charge $25 for rent there?) The magazine promises a photographic essay of the sexiest wrestlers in the next issue.
Next, On the Mat, where we’re told “The Rock” Don Muraco is at the height of his career, thanks to Superstar Billy Graham. “The Rock came to the Superstar and said, ‘Brother, I want your wisdom,'” Graham says. “We made a pact, and now when I watch Muraco use his awesome talents in the ring, I get a mental high.” We then get a recap of an exciting Muraco vs. Dave Wagner match, which Muraco won after a piledriver. “Only in the World Wrestling Federation do the past, the present, and the future merge,” Graham adds, nearly inventing the company’s modern slogan.
Newsbreakers! Sugar Ray Leonard (34-1, 20 KOs) was at SummerSlam, and on November 7, 1988, he’ll be boxing against WBC Light Heavyweight Titlist Donny Lalonde (31-2, 26 KOs) for both the Light Heavyweight title and the newly created WBC Super Middleweight belt. The Las Vegas fight is being promoted by Victory Promotions Inc. and will be brought to viewers on pay-per-view television and closed circuit by the same production and distribution facilities that brought you WrestleMania and SummerSlam. (And here are highlights from the bout.)
Next, Personality Profile looks at Paul Roma, a handsome, muscular young man with a flashing smile. Today, he has put his rookie days behind and increasingly has caught the eye of fans as well as wrestling experts. “I appreciate being able to wrestle in the WWF,” says the youngster. “And I’m grateful to the fans who have supported me. This is just the beginning.” (No mention is made of Jim Powers.)
Next, an Interview with the Ultimate Warrior. And whether they made this up or actually talked to the guy is difficult to tell. Asked about SummerSlam and winning the title with no preparation, he says, “Warriors don’t need time to prepare. Warriors are always ready for battle.” Asked about the pressure of defending the title against an army of challengers and whether this will change his strategy, he responds, “Pressure? The Ultimate Warrior feels no pressure when it is time for battle. Battle is joy, and the best defense is a good offense. I do not defend. I attack. And I will attack anyone who challenges me for the title. I live for challenge, and I say to anyone who wants my belt, ‘Come and take it if you can.’ I fear no one. When the battle horn blares, my blood boils. I hear the great warriors of the past urging me on. This belt is my prize, won by combat. It deserves to be on a Warrior, and I will do it honor. I swear by the Warrior’s code.”
Next, Battle of the Titans recaps the brouhaha and catawampus between Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake and Outlaw Ron Bass. The kerfuffle began at the conclusion of a match between Bass and Jim Evans when Beefcake stormed the ring, disposed of Bass, and destroyed the big Texan’s whip and hat with the Barber’s sheers. Then, “one week later” (yet curiously before the same crowd in the same arena) Bass rushed down to the ring during a Beefcake match and destroyed the Barber’s face with the Outlaw’s spurs. (This was shown with a giant X on the screen in the U.S., though it was shown uncensored in parts of Canada.) The magazine says Beefcake is now recovered, and the only question is in what form his vengeance will take.
Next up, Is There a Plot Against Macho Man Randy Savage? Insiders say several top contenders have agreed to try to injure or wear down Savage even if it risks disqualification in an attempt to leave him vulnerable to the next challenger. How many are in on the plot is difficult to determine, but most suspect Bobby Heenan is behind the scheme. “It would be typical for Heenan not to really care which of his wrestlers took the title, as long as one of them brought it home to him,” the magazine says. (More baseless accusations against Heenan? When will these writers stop with this blatant bias!) Still, not everyone thinks it will work. “I think Randy Savage always rises to the occasion,” says WWF announcer Gorilla Monsoon. “The tougher the competition, the more he explodes.”
Moving on, it’s Trivia Time…
The answers: WrestleMania IV: Hulk Hogan & Andre, the Junk Yard Dog, and a dog trainer’s jacket; Personalities: right, Bobby Heenan, and the Honky Tonk Man; Places: Harlem, Mud Lick, and Bret Hart; Colors: red, yellow and orange, and white; Odds and Ends: Elizabeth, fourth, and Stu
Next, the Merchandise Catalog has a special blow-out sale on the following items, which are being sold at 60% off:
- Outback Jack T shirts
- Superstar Billy Graham T shirts
- Junk Yard Dog T shirts
- Killer Bee T shirts
- WWF sports towels
- Killer Bees posters
- Junk Yard Dog posters
- Paul Orndorff posters
- Superstar Billy Graham posters
Now it’s time for coverage of SummerSlam 88! Step aside, Jimmy Hart. Forget it, Slickster. The new Master—or rather Mistress—of Distraction is the lovely manager of WWF World Champion Macho Man Randy Savage. Elizabeth’s monumental distraction saved the Mega-Powers, Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan, from disaster at the hands of Mega-Bucks, Andre the Giant and Ted DiBiase. In the end, thanks to their Mega-Manager, Savage and Hogan were able to defeat their opponents when Hogan pinned DiBiase.
In other news, the Ultimate Warrior defeated the Honky Tonk Man for the Intercontinental title! The Honky Tonk Man, learning that Beefcake was injured and unable to compete, said, “I don’t care who I wrestle. I don’t even want to know.” Seconds before the opening bell, WWF authorities revealed a new number one contender: the Warrior! In less than a minute, the man from Parts Unknown dethroned the longest reigning I-C champ of all time to claim the title. (I actually talked to Honky about this match, and he said Vince had asked for a longer confrontation, but Honky pushed for it to be “short and sweet” to disguise the Warrior’s weaknesses. He also said he specifically did not want to take the gorilla press because he feared the Warrior would botch it.)
Meanwhile, Demolition successfully defended its tag title against the Hart Foundation when Jimmy Hart interfered, allowing Ax to use the megaphone to knock out Bret Hart.
Bonus content!
Let’s look at Uncle Dave’s review of SummerSlam from The Wrestling Observer. He’s somewhat less enthusiastic than WWF Magazine.
– Overall, he calls it “the most forgettable show in the short history of pay-per-view” and describes it as “everything it was advertised to be and less.”
– The announcing? Terrible. Worst ever. And they advertised a “big happening” and then didn’t deliver anything. And it wasn’t like this cost $5 or $10 either, This was a whopping $15! (The way Dave describes it, you’d think this was a week’s worth of pay in 1988 or a down payment on a car.)
Onto the wrestling…
– British Bulldogs drew with the Rougeaus in 20:00. Actual time was 20:04. The match was perfectly fine. **1/2 (Fun fact: the opening bout between the Bulldogs and the Rougeaus was longer than the next four matches combined.)
– Bad News Brown beat Ken Patera with the Ghetto Blaster in 6:33. Not as bad as feedback seemed to indicate, but Patera is pretty much done. *1/2
– Rick Rude beat Junkyard Dog by DQ at 6:18. Dave notes that it should have been negative stars, but the Jake Roberts run-in was good, so it gets a DUD.
– Powers of Pain squashed the Bolvsheviks in 5:15, as Dave notes how ice cold that the Powers have become now that the WWF fans have figured out they’re not the Road Warriors. 1/2* (Dave had this theory that the Powers initially got a big reaction because the fans in the arenas thought the WWF had brought in the Road Warriors and repackaged them.)
– Jim Duggan was the special guest of Brother Love, who Dave is already sick of. DUD x 5
– Next up, the best thing on the show from a booking standpoint: The Warrior squashes Honky. However, Dave thought that Warrior blew himself up so bad we might get the first case of a man giving birth on national TV. That said, he stresses that even though all of us educated readers knew exactly what was going to happen, the idiot fans in the audience who watch WWF programming and don’t know the Powers of Pain from the Road Warriors (or perhaps a wristlock from a wristwatch) were shocked. So it was pretty effective. -1/2*
– Dave stops here to complain about the intermission and the hype for the upcoming Sugar Ray PPV on the show. He paid a King’s ransom of $15 for wrestling, not a pause and hype for something else!
– Dino Bravo pinned Don Muraco “in a pathetic 5:38”. Both guys were horribly blown up and the finish might have been decent if anyone had cared about the match, but they didn’t. DUD
– Demolition retained the tag titles over the Hart Foundation in 9:38. Finish was decent, but the match was completely boring. *1/2
– Big Bossman pinned Koko B. Ware with the Bubba Slam in 5:57. Dave says this was the best of the squashes. (Dave is right. They did, however, have a bad botch in this match.) *1/2
– Jake Roberts pinned Hercules with the DDT in 10:07. Dull and deathly slow, but Herc still managed to be blown up. *1/4
– The Megapowers beat the Megabucks in 13:57. Dave thought Dibiase looked great, but he hopes that the Million Dollar Man saves his money from the main event because he’ll probably be moved down the card now. **3/4
All in all, Dave stresses this wasn’t worth the riches of Solomon, a.k.a. the $15 the WWF was asking for.
Let’s move on to a poll from PWI to gauge fan reaction from those who bought the show:
Next, a preview of the team captains that will compete at Survivor Series 88! (It’s good to see that Beefcake recovered quickly enough from the Bass attack to do publicity photos for the next big event.)
We move on to an article where the Hart Foundation declares, “The Rougeaus are Wimps.” (Really, guys, you should save this sort of slander for Wrestler’s Rebuttal.) Anyway, the Harts say they’re the best team in the WWF, they have the Hart Attack, and they can defeat anyone.
The Rougeaus say, “Yes, we know the Hart Foundation is a rough team. But they’ve got a cocky attitude. Cocky attitudes get in the way of winning. We don’t have an attitude problem like that, and just look how well we’ve been doing. Those guys better learn to wrestle the right and fair way like we do or else we’re going to have to hurt them, and I don’t think the pink and black would like that very much.” The Harts respond, “Talk is cheap, and the Rougeaus are wimps. If they cross us, they’ll be black and blue.”
Next, who is the WWF’s most dangerous man? It may just be Haku. The article quotes Bobby Heenan, who says, “There’s no question that the Heenan Family is the most feared unit in professional sports. One reason is Andre the Giant, with his huge size and strength. But I believe no one in the Heenan Family is more dangerous than the quietest one, King Haku. The man could beat anybody.” Even Hulk Hogan agrees: “Haku is not to be taken lightly. Don’t get me wrong: Hulkamania can squash him like it’s squashed everything else that’s come into it’s path, but Haku is dangerous.” The image of Haku striking a hapless foe is both fascinating and terrifying. He knows many styles and seemingly has no weaknesses. Impartial grapplers say that if he had stayed the tag team course, he would have eventually be a coholder of the WWF Tag Team championship. Heenan even admits his phone was ringing of the hook with calls from wrestlers asking to be Haku’s partner. But according to Heenan, Haku himself opted for singles competition to challenge himself, at least for now. (Whatever. I could probably beat this guy up in a real fight.)
Next, Private Eye shows us photos of George Steele and “Mine” visiting the Detroit area (which is where George is from).
We move on to WWF Lowdown, where we learn Bobby Heenan helped call a game between the New York Yankees and the Milwaukee Brewers that aired over Channel 18 out of Milwaukee. (I’m from the Milwaukee area, and if memory serves, that was the channel that aired Wrestling Challenge on Saturday’s at 10:30pm. GLOW would air after, and then the next morning I’d watch Superstars of Wrestling on channel 12 at 11am. It’s odd to me today to hear people talk about watching Wrestling Challenge in the morning and Superstars at night because I never thought of those shows in those terms. But they were syndicated, so it was different in every market.) Meanwhile, Jimmy Hart has vowed revenge on the Hart Foundation after they dumped him as a manager. The Hart Foundation says they’re not worried. In tag team wrestling, the Rockers are demanding matches against the Bolsheviks, but the magazine warns them to be careful what they wish for. “If cornered by the massive Bolsheviks, the Rockers could be in trouble.” Terry Taylor continues to ruffle feathers in the WWF with his rulebreaking ways. And Bad News Brown continues to deny allegations that his glove he wears conceals a foreign object. “It’s a symbol,” he says. Fans watching WWF television might have noticed Jesse Ventura keeps mentioning Jack Tunney’s secretary, Emily Hotbody. WWF Magazine reached out to Miss Hotbody to ask her why Ventura keeps referencing her, and she said, “Every time Mr. Ventura comes out to Mr. Tunney’s office, he asks me to go out with him. But he’s not my type, and I’ve refused his offers. I think he’s frustrated over that.”
Miss Hotbody
And next, in Wrestler’s Rebuttal, Heenan says, “Yes, I’m Sexy.”
We move on to the Crossword Puzzle…
And finally, Caught in the Act…
That’s all for this week! Tune in next week, same time, same channel, for a look at PWI where the writers speculate the Megapowers might explode! And if you’re new here, be sure to leave a comment and check out the archive. Also, check out my website to see what books I’ve written!