Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan are hosting this evening’s show.
Mr. Fuji comes out and tells Heenan he has a “special Oriental present” for him.
Opening Contest: The Bushwhackers (9-1) defeat Tom Stone & Frankie DeFalco when Butch pins DeFalco after the Battering Ram at 3:13:
The match starts with the Bushwhackers biting their opponents on the rear. Then there is a spot that leads to jobber miscommunication that looks silly when Butch moves out of the way before DeFalco starts charging, but DeFalco knocks Stone down anyway. Sean Mooney wonders what happened so Lord Alfred Hayes tries to cover by saying that DeFalco’s momentum off the ropes could not be stopped. The Bushwhackers are better served with the Battering Ram as a finish as it looks better than the double stomachbreaker.
Fuji has a geisha girl come out. She is carrying a big bowl with a pitcher in it. Heenan pulls up a chair, has one of his feet placed in the bowl, and Fuji tells the woman to massage Heenan’s foot. After the commercial break, the Orient Express join the studio so Fuji can tell them he wants them to make the Rockers bleed.
Lord Alfred Hayes’ Special Report recaps the status of the Hulk Hogan-Sergeant Slaughter feud.
There is a recap of Hulk Hogan chasing Heenan around a couple of weeks ago.
The Dragon (6-0) pins Dan Johnson with the flying body press at 1:32:
Steamboat is done wearing the red forearm covers that inhibited parts of his offense, taking them off with other parts of his attire. He makes very short work of Johnson with his usual offense, awaiting his first feud since coming back to the company.
The Warlord’s squash from Wrestling Challenge is shown.
Promo time with Sean Mooney! The Rockers say that no one wants to give them a shot at the tag team titles because they know if they grant them one means they are losing the titles.
Ted DiBiase and Sensational Sherri are the next guests. Jamison is being a perve in the audience by looking at Sherri with binoculars. DiBiase admits Virgil has talent, which is why he hired him, but DiBiase says that Virgil is not intelligent enough to chart his own path. With regards to Roddy Piper, DiBiase argues that Piper is walking on a wounded knee and will limp off into the sunset with Virgil when he is done with both of them.
Virgil (6-0) defeats Bob Bradley via submission to the Million Dollar Dream at 2:36:
DiBiase pops up in the split screen and says Virgil is taking the biggest gamble of his life by stepping into the ring with him. Virgil continues to rely on punches for nearly all of his offense, something that is killing his heat with crowds.
DiBiase insists in the studio that he can buy anything he wants, which makes him better than anyone else in the WWF. To prove it, he offers money to anyone in the studio to kiss Heenan’s feet. Someone accepts for $300 and does it. A child is picked to hold an egg between his head and neck for $200, but DiBiase grabs the egg at nineteen seconds and breaks it. That gets the biggest heel reaction of anyone in this variation of the show thus far. All of these segments were a throwback to what DiBiase did when he first came into the company but the fact that they were recycling them showed that the WWF was out of ideas of how to move DiBiase forward as a character.
The Texas Tornado’s squash from Superstars airs.
The Big Bossman enters the studio and Heenan is wise to back away from him. The Bossman says that the Mountie assaulted a police officer, which means that he is a wanted felon and had better prepare for hard time. The Bossman gets so riled up that he drops his nightstick while trying to twirl it.
Sergeant Slaughter (w/Colonel Mustafa & General Adnan) (6-3) defeats Tugboat (10-3) after hitting him in the back of the head with a military helmet at 5:57 shown:
This bout is joined in progress, coming from the Superstars taping in Rockford, Illinois. Tugboat and Hulk Hogan must not be friends anymore as no mention is made of how Tugboat is seeking to avenge his buddy or how Slaughter wants to beat him to make Hogan angrier. After a lot of stalling, Tugboat avalanches Slaughter against the turnbuckles but has his foot held by Mustafa when he tries to do his finishing splash off the ropes. Tugboat goes to do the splash again, but this time Adnan provides a distraction and Mustafa throws Slaughter a helmet so he can clock Tugboat in the back of the head and get a cheap win. The booking of this match was silly. Mr. Perfect did not need all these smoke and mirrors to beat Tugboat several weeks ago and Slaughter is working in a main event program against Hulk Hogan on house shows. However, this booking is in keeping how Slaughter has been presented since his return. Rating: ½*
Earthquake’s squash from Superstars and the beatdown of Andre the Giant that followed is shown.
WBF bodybuilder Jim Quinn says he is doing two hour of aerobics to prepare for the WBF Championship and is disoriented for weeks before the competitions because he is eating as few carbohydrates as possible. Heenan is disinterested in the discussion, so McMahon makes fun of his abs.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan (12-0) beats Gary Wild with the three-point stance clothesline at 1:44:
Despite his win-loss record, Duggan is having a weaker 1991 than 1990 since he missed WrestleMania and is stuck in a tired USA vs. Iraq feud with Colonel Mustafa. No mention is made of that program here as he squashes Wild for a thirteenth straight win in singles competition.
Footage of the Shawn Michaels-Crush match from Prime Time Wrestling on February 18 is shown as part of hype for Supertape Volume 4. Also shown is a sneak peek at the Bushwhackers cooking with Gene Okerlund and footage of the Tito Santana-Koko B. Ware match that aired on Prime Time on February 4.
The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) (18-0) pins Jim Evans after the Tombstone at 1:31:
The Undertaker makes quick work of Evans, punishing him with a side suplex, ropewalk, and Tombstone. After the match, the Undertaker and Bearer put Evans in a body bag and the Undertaker carries him to the locker room.
Jamison chews on his tie as he plays the interactive game on the Hulk Hogan Hotline. He wins, much to Heenan’s chagrin.
After a break, Heenan is getting his feet massaged against by the geisha.
Non-Title Match: Mr. Perfect (Intercontinental Champion w/Bobby Heenan) (13-3) pins Brad Kramer with the Perfectplex at 2:32:
Kramer worked a handful of WWF squashes the year before. Although lanky, he had more bulk than most other enhancement workers of this era, something that is noted on commentary.
As has been the case throughout the show, this squash does not feature an insert promo to continue the feud between Perfect and the British Bulldog. Perfect tags Kramer with a lariat out of the corner and wins with the Perfectplex. Fans did not know it at the time, but this would be the last televised match where Heenan would work as Perfect’s manager.
The Big Bossman hands Heenan a box and tells him to give it to Jimmy Hart. Ever one to pry, Heenan opens the box and pulls out handcuffs on a wire and gets shocked.
Tune in next week to see the Mountie, the Berzerker, Gary Strydom, and the British Bulldog!
The Last Word: The lone highlight of the broadcast was Bobby Heenan getting shocked by the gift. Prime Time needs to get back to doing at least two feature matches because taking away more of that content is giving people less of a reason to watch.
Up Next: WWF Superstars for June 8!