The PG Era Rant for AEW Elevation, Episode 42 (“The Secret to Life, the Universe, and Getting Back Into a Routine”), December 20, 2021.
From Garland, TX.
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone and Mark Henry – with the third man joining later.
TONIGHT! Bear Country preps for the Christmas fight with Hook as they take on Chaos Project! Red Velvet looks to get back to the winning ways against Madi Wrenckowski! And it’s another HFO/Dark Order throwdown as Matt, Blade, and Kassidy face Uno, Stu, and Vance!
PLUS – Thunder Rosa, Andrade El Idolo, and the unlikely trio of Nyla/Sakura/Bunny!
Opening match: The Bunny (10-7), Emi Sakura (11-2), and Nyla Rose (#4 women, 25-5) (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. Jessica James, GiGi Rey, and Lady Bird Monroe (debuting). Ruby Soho is on commentary for the opening match, because she is facing Nyla Rose on Dynamite. Soho admits she’s a little nervous about her upcoming match, but Mark believes Ruby can win.
Nyla and James start, and Nyla knocks James into the corner and smacks Rey off the apron. Monroe protests, so Bunny and Sakura choke James. Nyla with an avalanche, and Sakura enters with a hairpull slam. Big chop in the corner, then more to the tune of We Will Rock You to set up the corner crossbody. Ventura body vince, but James escapes and gets Rey in. Rey kicks away on Bunny, but misses a dropkick and Bunny with kneelifts.
Monroe tags herself in behind Bunny’s back, but Bunny tosses Rey onto Monroe. Hard toss into the buckle, and Bunny dropkicks Monroe hard into the corner from behind. Sakura with a Vader Bomb twist, James saves. Big names clear the ring and leave Monroe alone with Nyla, who clotheslines her down. Powerbomb, but no cover as she points at Soho on commentary. Beast Bomb ends it at 3:18. Should’ve just been Nyla by herself. Soho gets up and yells at Nyla from commentary. 1/2*
AEW moves to TBS in the new year.
Madi Wrenckowski (3-7) vs. Red Velvet (30-8). Interestingly, Madi doesn’t get in the thumbnail, but they DO give her an entrance. She’s cut her hair down to shoulder-length. Soho leaves, so Eddie Kingston jumps in. Velvet is now from Miami, and not your Mama’s Kitchen.
Velvet with arm-work to start, then a series of armdrags. Madi elbows out and gets a headlock, but runs into a single-leg lariat. Madi with a Hammer Throw and she snapmares the leg of Velvet (!), followed up with an elbowdrop and hairpull slam for one. Velvet with a back kick and springboard crossbody to begin the comeback. Madi is into the ropes, and Velvet lands the double knees and standing moonsault for two. They slug it out, but Velvet with a sole kick and Final Slice to win at 1:47. Eh, these two could’ve gone five minutes if you ask me.
Battle of the Belts is January 8.
Chaos Project (Luther and Serpentico) (10-24) vs. Bear Country (Bear Boulder and Bear Bronson) (10-4). I do NOT like Serpentico’s chances of surviving this match. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either, as Luther has to drag him to the ring. Schiavone reads the copy for Mox’s book, then Eddie asks to do it – and paraphrases. Mark: “Who has looser screws – Bunny or Luther?” Eddie, instantly: “Bunny. She needs to be locked up.”
Luther and Bronson start with a slugfest. Clotheslines are a stalemate, so Luther goes to the kick, only for Bronson to dodge a running kick and lariat Luther. Serpentico in, and Bronson with an Exploder (Mark: “What did he think he was gonna do?”). Boulder in, and he gets a corner back elbow on Serpentico, followed by a slam attempt. Serpentico escapes, but Boulder tanks his chop and gives Serpentico a military press into a backbreaker or five. Bronson in, and he chucks Serpentico into the corner, but a blind charge misses and Serpentico gets an enzuigiri. Luther adds a clothesline, and Serpentico with a falling headbutt. Luther in, and he squashes Serpentico into Bronson before slamming him onto him and getting two.
Luther with a walking knee, and Serpentico is thrown in onto Bronson front suplex style for two. Serpentico with a ground abdominal stretch, and clubbing to the stomach, but that just confuses Bronson. Bronson sends Serpentico into Boulder’s fist and back body drops him, and hot tag Boulder as he runs everyone over. Slams to everyone, and he whips Serpentico into Luther into the corner before crushing them. Powerbomb try to Serpentico, and Luther tries a crossbody, but Boulder CATCHES HIM and throws everyone down at once. Back in for Bronson, and the Totem Splash wins at 4:41. Just another day at the office for Bear Country. 3/4*
Andrade El Idolo (w/Jose) (7-4) vs. Kaun (debut). Yes, Ring of Honor fans, the man from Shane Taylor Promotions gets a look on Elevation. As always, the question is if Andrade takes more time getting to the ring or wrestling – depending on the opponent, this is a close guess. Andrade has a dagger and a small amount of pyro (still enough to freak Eddie out).
Test of strength to start, with Andrade getting a waistlock. Kaun armbars out of it, but Andrade uses the hair to back Kaun into the corner. Kaun slaps Andrade for his insolence, much to Eddie’s delight, but Andrade reverses him in the corner and gives him a receipt (Eddie and Mark are loving it). Hammer Throw by Andrade, but Kaun tries to slug him only to be caught in the rope-hang armbar. Kitchen Sink by Andrade follows, then he wraps Kaun’s arm around the ropes.
Mudhole stomping follows, then a big chop in the corner. He works the arm, adding back elbows, but a blind charge eats Kaun’s elbow. A second one is caught by Kaun into a fireman’s carry, but Andrade escapes only to run into it a second time for the Gut Check by Kaun for one. Half-senton by Kaun hits the knees, and Andrade with Divorce court and a Sacrifice armbar to win at 3:32. Very entertaining squash. *
Thunder Rosa (#3 women, 37-4) vs. Amber Rodriguez (debut). Rosa has Jade Cargill in the other semifinal. If this didn’t lead off the taping, it should have. Absolutely no one is cheering for Amber.
Lockup goes nowhere as crowd chants for Rosa. Amber with a waistlock, but Rosa hiptosses out of it and gets a hammerlock. Rosa catches an armdrag into a cradle for one, then gets her own armdrag. Big chop from Amber in the corner, and Amber kicks away and throws a knee. Big chop follows, but Rosa forearms back and lands some wicked chops. Amber kicks out of a waistlock and gets a leg-catch enzuigiri for one. She tries to toss Rosa into the Texas flag, but Rosa blocks and beats the fire out of Amber in the corner instead. Sliding lariat nearly catches her up in the flag, and she comes off the top with double knees. Dropkick to a draped Amber follows and she pumps up the crowd for a second one. Thunder Fire Driver ends it at 2:51. A little sloppy, but Rosa tried to give Amber something to shine on. 3/4*
Matt Hardy(23-10) , The Blade (21-11), and Isaiah Kassidy (23-14) vs. Evil Uno (28-17), Stu Grayson (27-9), and Preston Vance (34-6). This is match #2758 between these two factions, and I think all of them outside of the Brodie Family reunion match happened on Dark or Elevation. Tony asks Mark Henry to talk about the Owen Hart Cup. Dark Order come out wearing ugly sweaters (at least, Angels does).
Uno and Blade start. Blade with arm control, but Uno gets a headlock into a full nelson. Blade tries to reverse, but Uno casually gets an armlock. Blade kicks him in the gut to stop that, but Kassidy gets swept down and Uno stomps the hands. Grayson in, and the OG Dark Order set up a springboard backbreaker, only for Hardy to drop Grayson with the Twist of Fate on the floor! Uno and Vance check on Grayson, allowing Kassidy to hit Poetry in Motion on everyone on the floor. Back in, Kassidy elbowdrops Grayson for two.
Hardy back in with the yodelling elbowsmash for two. Kassidy returns, bringing in Blade, and they clear the opposing corner only for Kassidy to airball a splash. Grayson with a German suplex to Blade, but Kassidy yanks him back into the HFO corner… which earns him a German as well. Grayson kips up under a double clothesline and gets a double Pele, hot tag Vance. Pump kicks to both men, then a spinout slam to Hardy to send him packing. SPINEBUSTER to Blade, and Uno comes in off the top with a senton bomb for two, Kassidy saves.
Vance sends Kassidy out, and Hardy pulls Vance out and sends him into the railing. Back in, Blade misses a rollup on Uno, but in the chaos Kassidy gets an enzuigiri and Hardy lands the Side Effect for two (Blade was WAY too confident that was three). On the outside, Vance cleans house, and back in, Uno gets a boot up and brings in Grayson. Fatality sets up the Full Nelson to win at 4:46. A condensed version of their usual goodness. *3/4
See you tomorrow!