The PG Era Rant for AEW Dark, Episode 113 (“Name That Jobber!”), October 19, 2021.
From Miami, FL. Bonus points for the Rosey cosplayer.
Your hosts are Excalibur and Taz.
TONIGHT! Youth battles experience as Aaron Solo takes on Frankie Kazarian! Nyla Rose, Emi Sakura, and Diamante run it back, but this time against Red Velvet, Kris Statlander, and Thunder Rosa! And the newest signee to AEW, Daniel Garcia, teams with 2point0 and Serpentico against the Dark Order’s Stu Grayson, Colt Cabana, Alan Angels, and Preston Vance!
PLUS: Lance Archer, Jamie Hayter, and Gunn Club!
Opening match: Jamie Hayter (w/Britt Baker and Rebel Not Reba) (1-2) vs. Tiffany Nieves (debut). Hey, check it out, Rebel’s leg is healthy again! And yes, we get a huge DMD chant, because when you book someone like a face even if they’re a heel, they become a face.
Lockup, and Hayter backs Nieves into the corner and gives a clean break. Nieves ducks a shot and fires away, but Hayter with a kneelift and STO. Forearms from a mounted position set up a suplex by Hayter. Hayter kicks away at the head and adds a short-arm clothesline for the win at 1:01. Commentary didn’t realize that was her finish.
Full Gear ad.
Gunn Club (Austin, Billy, and Colten) (15-0) vs. Diamond Sheik, Dean Alexander, and Alex Chamberlain. Given that they’re fattening Gunn Club’s record against enhancement talent, at what point do they give someone the honor to end this? It doesn’t even have to be on Dynamite or Rampage – but blowing off the unbeaten record will get someone’s attention.
Colten and Dean start. They exchange waistlocks, so Austin tags himself in and trips Dean from the outside. He comes back in with an elbowdrop and brings Colten back for another one. Austin misses a third round, and Dean works that arm before bringing in Chamberlain. Austin backs him into the corner and gets a body shot, then goes up and over before getting a back suplex. Billy in now (to a pretty big pop because he’s Billy Gunn), but Chamberlain dumps Colten only to run into a tilt-a-whirl slam for two, Sheik saves. Billy clocks Sheik, so Chamberlain with a cradle for one before Billy comes back with a lariat. Billy stomps Chamberlain in the corner, then clears the apron before bringing in Colten. Colt 45 wins at 2:58. Still not interesting – it may be time to pull the trigger to move them up in competition or end the charade and have someone beat them. 1/2*
Nyla Rose (25-10), Emi Sakura (8-3), and Diamante (18-10) (w/Vickie Guerrero and LuLu Pencil) vs. Thunder Rosa (#4 women, 30-4), Red Velvet (26-7), and Kris Statlander (#3 women, 21-1). The heel trio won last night against Velvet, KiLynn King, and Ryo Mizunami, but I’d say Statlander and Thunder Rosa is a step up as opponents go. And along those lines, they come out to Rosa’s music, not Velvet’s.
Velvet and Diamante start. Diamante with an ankle pick before running into a leg lariat. Velvet boxes down Diamante and brings in Statlander, who gets armdrags on Diamante. Nyla tags in, but Statlander takes her down with a knee kick and sliding dropkick for one. Headlock is turned into a back suplex by Nyla. Nyla rushes Statlander into the corner and brings Diamante in for a knee to the head. Nyla then tosses Diamante onto Statlander for two. Diamante tries a crossbody, but Statlander with a catch and slam and here comes Rosa to a big pop. Dropkicks to Diamante, but Diamante slips out of a slam and desperately brings in Sakura.
But Nyla insists on coming in instead and gets tripped by Rosa, who gets the Mizline and doube knees into a shotgun dropkick. DDT try, but Nyla rushes Rosa into the corner and brings in Sakura for chops. Butterfly try, but Rosa escapes and chops Sakura back before flooring her with a roundhouse kick. Velvet in now, but she runs into chops from Sakura and the Implant Buster for two, Statlander saves.
Diamante gives Statlander the Code Red, but she’s not legal, and Rosa takes Diamante out with a missile dropkick. She walks into a chokeslam by Nyla, but Velvet gives Nyla the 540 kick. Sakura tries to catch Velvet, but Velvet escapes her grip and gets Final Slice for the win at 4:04 (Ricky Morton segment not found). I mean, if you’re going to do a fast trios match, go 90 mph from the bell. It works. *1/2
AEW Elite GM App ad.
The announcers talk about how Rampage and Dynamite will be this weekend…
…and before they can finish their thoughts, here’s Jade Cargill (#1 women, 17-0). Okay, I take back what I said with Britt – this crowd is cheering everyone right now and good for them. Smart Mark Sterling declares that Cargill will be TBS Champion. This Friday, the brackets for the inaugural TBS Championship will be revealed. Given that TBS’s slogan was “Very Funny”, it fits that they’re making Cargill not be just GIVEN the title. She’s undefeated! Sterling says it doesn’t matter if you’re Red Velvet, Skye Blue, or Thunder Rosa (Jade: “Since she’s such a dog, I plan on walking her like one!”) – Jade Cargill win run through the tournament, and the only punchline will be on the opponents’ faces. TBS will stand for That Bxtch Show. Yeah.
Lance Archer (w/Jake Roberts and O.T. Fernandez under his arm) vs. O.T. Fernandez. “Introducing first, dragging his opponent to the ring…” Fernandez is tossed into the ring, tries to jump out onto Archer, and gets chokeslammed back in. Eddie Kingston joins commentary.
Bell rings, and Fernandez tries to nail Archer, switching it up to rock him with an enzuigiri. Archer just pounces him, then lands an elbow backbreaker into the Helicoaster. Archer chops Fernandez around the world while Kingston and Taz argue over how the Archer/Kingston match will go. Fernandez in placed up top, but kicks away and dives… into a right hook. Blackout ends this at 2:02, with Archer staring at commentary while he delivers it and pinning Fernandez while standing up. 1/4* Excalibur said maybe 10 words all match.
Aaron Solo (w/QT Marshall and Nick Comoroto) (12-19) vs “You Guessed It” Frankie Kazarian (26-5). Kingston is back in the back, so Marshall joins commentary for this match. So, uh, how’s that Elite Hunting going, Frank?
Kazarian gets a drop toe hold into a side headlock out of a lockup. Solo fights up and tries a top wristlock, but Kazarian with a headlock takedown and armdrag and lock. Solo twists the arm to break as he gets up and holds a wristlock, so Kazarian flips out and reverses. Solo tries to tumble through, but Kazarian stops him with an Oklahoma Roll for one and another headlock takedown. Solo gets up and shoves him off as we go International~!, with Kazarian blocking the hiptoss with a crucifix for two before just chopping Solo away. WRESTLING! Solo stops a whip and tosses Kazarian to the apron, but Kazarian catches him mid-gutshot with a Rocker Dropper. Before he can return to the ring, though, Kazarian gets yoinked off the apron by Comoroto and Solo dashes out to beat him down.
Marshall (about Comoroto): “That’s why he’s in the Factory, he’s a big man who can do damage, especially behind Mike Posey’s back.”
Taz: “A lot of people say he isn’t all there, too.”
Marshall: “Who, Posey?”
Solo sends Kazarian into the apron and tosses him back in, following with chops in the corner. Hammer Throw and Solo follows with another one, but Kazarian catches Solo with a cradle for two. Kazarian chops away on Solo, but Solo yanks him down and double-stomps him for two. Uppercut from Solo and he mocks Kazarian. Kazarian turns another one into a backslide for two. Kazarian with big chops, then he goes up and over Solo to begin the comeback.
Flying jalapeno and back heel kick, but Solo ducks a clothesline and gets a 540 kick. Pedigree try, but Kazarian backdrops out and gets a springboard legdrop for two. Comoroto is on the apron, allowing Solo to roll up Kazarian for two. Kazarian’s kickout sends Solo into Comoroto, and the Crossface Chickenwing wins it at 5:56. Marshall: “That’s an illegal choke!” Taz: “What would I know about those?” **1/4
Dark Order (Stu Grayson, Colt Cabana, Alan Angels, and Preston Vance) vs. Daniel Garcia, 2point0 (Matt Lee and Jeff Parker), and Serpentico. Serpentico tries to take Garcia’s place in between 2point0, and Garcia is unamused by both that and the streamers he releases. No sign of Luther, so there’s a chance Serpentico survives the match. No chyrons for anyone.
Colt to start, but while looking over Serpentico, 2point0 attacks for a double-team. Colt with a Lionsault onto both men, and Garcia comes in only to get chopped hard. Angels (now sans mask) is tagged in and he and Garcia trade chops. Angels with a dropkick off a criss-cross, then he gets a spinning slam on Serpentico before suplexing Garcia onto Serpentico. Garcia tags in Parker, who yanks Garcia away from a crossbody and beats down Angels. Parker stomps away, and a suplex gets two.
Lee in, and he stomps Angels in the shoulder before chopping him in the corner. Hammer Throw, with Angels taking the Bret Bump, and Lee taunts the Dark Order. Garcia in, and he stomps away on Angels before Parker comes in to keep it up… but Serpentico tags in, so Parker tosses Serpentico head-first into Angels’ back. Some things never change. Serpentico takes the hint and brings in Lee for mudhole stomping, and 2point0 and Garcia do a modified Unicorn Stampede on Angels. Angels leaps over Parker and tosses Lee, but Serpentico tags himself in to try to knock Vance off the apron. Keyword: try.
He turns around into a C-4 from Angels, hot tag Vance. Pump kick to Lee, clotheslines to Garcia, and a corner pump kick to Garcia before Parker is sent packing. Garcia blocks a spinebuster, but Grayson tags in and splashes Garcia from atop Vance’s shoulders. He takes out Parker, but Garcia with the Kitchen Sink and a sleeper try. Grayson escapes and powerslams Garcia for two, Lee saves. 2Point0 take over behind the ref’s back, with Lee alley-ooping Grayson into a spear from Parker for two (why isn’t THAT their finisher?).
Serpentico wants in again, but the argument allows Grayson to get the double Pele. Angels tags in and moonsaults onto 2point0 on the outside, while inside, Vance gives Serpentico the spinebuster. Full Nelson by Vance, Garcia saves. Colt dumps Garcia and goes Flip Flop and Fly on Serpentico (with Vance cutting Garcia off twice), so Colt says fine and gives Garcia the Bionic Elbow. Serpentico thinks he’s survived, but Colt launches him into the Full Nelson of Vance for the win at 6:32. I almost feel sorry for Serpentico. Almost. **1/4 I mean, let’s be honest, if you saw that eight-man lineup and thought anyone BUT Serpentico was eating the loss, you clearly don’t know AEW (or New Japan, that would have these types of multi-man “one of these guys is not like the others” matches all the time.)
WORLD TITLE ELIMINATOR PREDICTIONS:
Quarterfinals: Moxley over Vance, Cassidy over Hobbs, Danielson over Dustin, Kingston over Archer.
Semifinals: Moxley over Cassidy, Danielson over Kingston.
Final: Moxley over Danielson with assistance from Kingston as the duo turn heel.
BELL-TO-BELL – 22:33 over six matches (average time 3:45½)
MATCH OF THE NIGHT – Dark Order eight-man
- Frankie Kazarian
- Emi Sakura
No Dynamite tomorrow, because as they say in hockey, we’re going to play that hockey. Enjoy the night off, and see you with an Indie Showcase on Thursday!