Mike Reviews Shows Considered To Be Stinkers – WCW Bash At The Beach 1999 (11/07/1999)

Hello You!

Back with another reader request this time, courtesy of Sean Mooney, as we dive into the deep toxic waters of World Championship Wrestling as it sunk to its eventual doom. 1998 was when the company initially hit the iceberg but they still did great business that year and it wasn’t until 1999 reared its ugly head that it became clear just how waterlogged the company was getting.

The WWF was not only still top of the American Pro Wrestling food chain in the summer of 1999, but they’d also turned The Rock babyface to gigantic financial returns and were in the midst of preparing the likes of Triple H and Test for elevation up the card (It worked out better for one of those two obviously). They were also in the midst of finally taking the spotlight off the Stone Cold Vs Vince McMahon feud for a bit with Vince set to take a few months off TV, thus keeping things fresh atop the card.

By comparison, WCW was so stale that even most ducks wouldn’t touch it if you took it down the local pond. The New World Order storyline had long since run its course and basically didn’t even really exist anymore outside of a few low ranking guys like Vincent and Horace. The Main Event scene was being built around the usual collection of veterans, Diamond Dallas Page was terrorising the mid-card with his Jersey Triad stable and Ric Flair and Roddy Piper were trying to turn the clock back to the mid-80’s so that they could be conniving villainous heels again, when all the crowd wanted to do was cheer them.

Some efforts were being made to push the likes of Buff Bagwell, Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn, but outside of Flair and Piper none of the top guys were willing to put those guys over, and there were only so many jobs Flair could do for guys like that until it started to really lose its effectiveness. Randy Savage had returned and had actually gotten kind of over as a rebellious babyface, so WCW of course promptly turned him heel so that he could feud with Kevin Nash over the World Title, and even decided to punish the fan base even further by bringing Sid Vicious back to the promotion.

The main feuds coming into this show were DDP and The Triad/Benoit and Saturn, Piper and Flair/Bagwell, Savage/Nash and The West Texas Rednecks/Filthy Animals. There were at least some good matches going on in places, but in most cases the wrong people were going over and the face/heel alignments were all out of whack. For instance, The Rednecks were massively outnumbered and were a funny entertaining act whilst The Animals were insufferable jerks who often abused their numbers advantage, yet The Animals were the ones supposed to be the faces!

All in all the company was on its arse and things eventually got so bad that WCW decided to roll the dice on Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara in the hopes that they could turn it around, which had inevitable results.

However, with that all being said, is Bash At The Beach 1999 really that awful? Maybe in a bubble the show has enough good stuff on it that it’s actually enjoyable? I remember I actually had the VHS for this show back in the day as it was one of the few shows from 99 that WCW actually gave a proper home video release here in the UK, so I’ve probably seen it more than most. Will a tinge of nostalgia help me overcome the worse elements of the show?

There’s still time by the way to put in suggestions for what May’s Stinker Review is going to be. I’ll recap what we currently have in the hat at the end of the this review, so shout up in the comments section if you’d like to add a suggestion of your own. April’s Stinker review will be one of my choosing and I’ll announce what May’s is going to be at the end of that review.

Is this show really a stinker? Let’s watch on and find out!

The show is emanating from Fort Lauderdale, Florida on the 11^th of July 1999

Calling the action are Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan, with Mike Tenay at a junkyard (I thought TNA didn’t move to The Asylum until 2002?)

Tony and Bobby do the intro to the show and then Mean Gene Okerlund hypes up his hotline. Seriously, this is how we’re starting a pay per view? WCW always chose to do this for some reason, whereas the WWF would usually start a PPV off with a match. Gene sends to Mike Tenay, who is at the junkyard for the big hardcore match later. He hypes up all the weaponry that is on site, including a car crusher.

Opening Match
The Cat w/ Sonny Onoo Vs The Disco Inferno

This was your standard “two guys both have a dancing gimmick so let’s have them feud” storyline, which works for the under card. This match was apparently supposed to have a stipulation where the loser couldn’t dance anymore, but the announcers inform us that this has been scrapped and it’s now just a standard match. Weird, you would think they could have milked that stipulation if they’d gone along with it, especially if the odious heel Cat had lost and then had to try and connive a way to get the stipulation overturned.

Cat wasn’t an especially good wrestler, but he had a lot of charisma and was fine as an under card heel act, and he actually did a pretty solid job as babyface authority figure during the dying days of the company. Cat lays down the challenge for another dance contest, which the babyface Disco seems to win according to the fans, so Cat tries to jump him, only for Disco to fend him off and shine on him. Interestingly WWE Network didn’t edit out Cat’s James Brown themed entrance music during the contest, which is something they usually do. I guess because it was only on briefly they thought that they wouldn’t have to bother?

This is actually a decent opening match, as the crowd likes Disco and dislikes Cat, so they mostly keep it simple and play to the crowd a lot, which keeps it entertaining. This is actually the perfect use of Cat in a lot of ways, as it doesn’t ask him to do anything he can’t really do and plays to his strengths as a performer. There are a few moments where his timing is off and his bumping doesn’t look great, but his character work covers for it and Disco is a solid enough worker that he can keep things chugging along. Onoo makes sure to get some cheap shots in whenever he can as well, so that the fans stay invested in wanting Disco to make the comeback.

There is one really bad spot where Cat low blows Disco in full view of the ref and he has to just kind of chastise him for it when it should be an immediate DQ. I’m guessing that Onoo was supposed to distract the ref there or something and just forgot to? Disco eventually makes the comeback and the crowd is into his act, especially the ladies who pop for his gyrating and hip swinging. They do a good near fall where Cat tries to kick Disco with his loaded dancing shoe, but Disco grabs it and uses it instead for two due to Onoo accidentally distracting the ref. Onoo earns his pay though by distracting Disco and the ref and that allows Cat to use the shoe for the three count.

WINNER: THE CAT
RATING: **

Cat wasn’t great from an actual wrestling perspective, but he did good character work and Disco did as good a job as he could to carry the match. For an opening match it ticked the boxes it needed to, but Cat clearly had a ceiling as a worker and we saw it here

Judge Mills Lane is being interviewed by the world’s most rotund Kopite (Although that bloke from YouTube who looks like Dara O’Brien might possibly give him a run for his money) Mark Madden. Madden to his credit asks somewhat sensible questions, such as how far Mills is prepared to let it go tonight in the boxing match seeing as neither guy is actually a boxer. Mills says he’ll cut them a little slack, but that’s all.

We get a video package to hype the next match. Van Hammer went from a hippie babyface into a sneering bully heel and won some matches, so Ric Flair and Roddy Piper (The two heel authority figures) decided to “reward” him with a TV Title match against Rick Steiner. Flair and Piper seem to think it’s funny that they’re essentially throwing Hammer to the wolves, but Hammer actually seems pretty pleased. I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a face turn for Hammer or if we’re just supposed to think he’s an overconfident heel who is going to get smashed for our amusement.

Match Two
WCW Television Title
Champ: Rick Steiner Vs Van Hammer

Steiner had gone heel at Slamboree after aligning with his brother Scott, winning the TV Title in the process. Scott then got injured though; leaving Rick as a heel singles for a bit destroying people in the TV Title division, of which Hammer is the most recent victim. Rick Steiner’s “Welcome To The Jungle” knock off theme has surprisingly survived the WWE Network censors, which either means they’re confident that it sounds different enough that they can get away with it or Axel Rose is less of cry arse than Dave Grohl when it comes to wrestling companies using his songs as inspiration for entrance themes.

To ram home Hammer’s new heel gimmick they’ve given him Big Bubba’s old entrance music. This match has two major issues with it, the first being that the crowd doesn’t care because it’s two heels going at it in a thrown together match and the second being that Rick Steiner is having none of Hammer and is only interested in annihilating him, barely selling his offence and sometimes just outright not cooperating with him. I mean, Hammer is a scrub compared to Steiner of course, but there’s no need to be such a jerk about it, especially as it not only makes Hammer look like a chump but also makes the guys he beat to earn the Title shot look bad as well.

The big spot of the match is Steiner giving Hammer a DDT on the concrete outside the ring, but they treat it as a throwaway move at best, when it really should have been the big moment that preceded the finish. You don’t just burn a move on the concrete in a nothing bout that’s second on the card. We get two more blatant low blows in front of the ref from Steiner, as well as a chair shot from Hammer at one stage, as it seems like the guys are going out of their way to make the refs look stupid tonight. Steiner decides he’s had enough of this match and gets the second rope bulldog to finish Hammer off following the two shots to the nuts.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: RICK STEINER
RATING: DUD

This was miserable, as Steiner had zero interest in having a match here and was incredibly uncooperative. Plus, all the stuff in front of the ref without it being a DQ was simply inexcusable. I’ll give them a break for one spot like that, but there were about five moments in this match where it should have been a DQ and wasn’t, and you can’t show leeway on that

Mike Tenay is still at the junkyard, where he tells us that we’re not sure who is actually going to be in this match. Poor Mike having to spend all night at this place, someone get him a sandwich or something at the very least!

We get a video package to hype the next match. As mentioned in the last match, Scott Steiner was out injured at the time, so Ric Flair stripped him of the US Title and just awarded the belt to his son David.

Match Three
WCW United States Title
Champ: David Flair w/ Torrie Wilson, Arn Anderson, Aysa and Ric Flair Vs Dean Malenko

Flair was the heel authority figure along with Piper here, so he’s stacking the deck against all of David’s opponents. It was not dissimilar to what the WWF was doing with Vince and Shane McMahon, with the exception that Shane had some aptitude for being an in-ring performer whilst David seemingly had very little. David is actually in decent enough shape here, but he was not at all ready to be wrestling at this level and it regularly showed in his performances. The Russo/Ferrara duo of all people actually found something that kind of worked for him by making him a crazed crowbar wielding loony, but even that had a ceiling due to his lack of in-ring ability.

They work the only match they really can here, as Malenko just batters David from pillar to post, with David doing his best to bump and sell for it all. One thing that always struck me about David was how he’d have this totally lost looking facial expression on his face, like he was thinking about everything he was doing. Like, even the act of circling an opponent was a totally alien concept that completely baffled him. Malenko takes care of him with some basic moves and locks in the Texas Cloverleaf, but all of the heels attack him and a belt shot from Ric gives David the win.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: DAVID FLAIR
RATING: DUD

This wasn’t even a match, it was an elongated angle and a waste of pay per view time

Arn and Flair put the boots to Malenko following that for good measure.

We get a video package to hype the next match. Curt Hennig and Barry Windham formed a country band because they hated rap music so much, which led to them feuding with the rap loving No Limit Soldiers/Filthy Animals. Hennig and friends recorded a hilarious country song called “Rap Is Crap”, of which we get to see the video here. Of course as mentioned at the start of the review, there were only four guys in Hennig’s crew whereas there was something like 20 No Limit Soldiers, so it was impossible for Hennig’s crew to not look heroic taking on the ludicrous odds stacked against them. In fact, at one stage they offered a member of the NLS a peace offering, which was promptly shoved back in their face and they got given a mass beating. At least wait for it to be revealed as a heel ruse before having the heels get clobbered, that’s booking 101!

Match Four
The West Texas Rednecks (Curt Hennig, Barry Windham, Bobby Duncam Jr and Kendall Windham) Vs No Limit Soldiers (Konnan, Rey Mysterio Jr, Brad Armstrong and Swoll) w/ Chase Tatum and 4×4

Swoll is of course not to be confused with Big Swole in AEW. He was originally an American Footballer who did some shots for the AWA and New Japan in the early 90’s before coming into WCW in 99 as a member of the NLS. He was actually on quite a lot of money and his run didn’t last that long. Armstrong is going under the name “B.A” here and I’m not entirely sure why he was added to this stable of all groups, but I’m guessing it’s because he’s a good hand who can be trusted in the ring, which is something the NLS probably need seeing as Swoll’s last stint in a major company was way back in 91 and he hadn’t done a lot of wrestling since then, so having a reliable pair of hands to help out if he combusted probably wasn’t the worst idea.

Rey was also the Cruiserweight Champ during this period and was sans mask thanks to losing a match to Lex Luger and Kevin Nash earlier in the year. WWE wisely gave him the mask back when he jumped there in 2002 as it made him infinitely more marketable and it still kind of blows my mind that WCW not only took the mask off him but then totally blew any chance they had of making it a big deal. Even in my youth I thought the NLS were lame, but then I’ve never really been into rap music and have always been more of an alternative rock guy. I appreciate the classics of course (Still D.R.E. is on my Spotify playlist for instance and I like the Eazy E song that B-Boy used as entrance music in CZW) but I’m much more likely to listen to Radiohead than I would Master P.

This one is Survivor Series rules and it starts out decent enough, with Hennig and Rey doing some nice stuff together. It’s all action for the most part and the action is decent, especially when Windham, Hennig, Rey and Armstrong are in. Swoll is your generic big bloke and keeps his stuff to basic clotheslines and power moves, which mostly look okay. His selling and bumping isn’t great, but you can excuse that somewhat as he was still kind of green here and his natural athleticism helps offset that a bit. Konnan is similar to Cat in that he isn’t a great worker but he has lots of charisma and is thus fine as a mid-card act, especially in situations like this when he just has to come in and do a quick spot. Eventually Duncum misses a cross body and Rey drops the Dime to give Swoll the pin.

Bobby Duncam Eliminated by Swoll (1) – Pin following a move from Rey

Swoll seemed unsure what to do there and did a pretty odd looking pin as a result. A trend follows now with Chase and 4×4 attacking Duncum as he leaves, which just makes them look like jerks and only enforces the feeling that it’s The Rednecks who are really the babyfaces here. The Rednecks work some heat on Konnan for a bit, which is fine as Konnan is a solid babyface in peril and the The Rednecks know how to work a heel heat segment. Armstrong gets the hot tag and does a nice segment with Henning, with Hennig selling his stuff well, but sadly they botch his elimination somewhat as Windham is supposed to cheap shot him into a Spiffy-Plex, but either Windham doesn’t hit him hard enough or Armstrong forgets to sell it, and it means he just kind of meanders into Hennig who has to awkwardly add a boot before hitting the move for the pin.

Brad Armstrong Eliminated by Curt Hennig (1) – Spiffy-Plex (It is the Blog of Doom after all…)

This has been all kinds of sloppy as it’s gone on, but it’s still been entertaining for the most part. Konnan and Kendall keep that theme going as they do a so-so little segment together that isn’t awful but also isn’t that good either. Kendall Windham is always one of those guys that I think is fine in a tag setting but just never really had much to him as a worker. Barry was by far the more talented of the two and could have been a huge star if he’d kept his mind focused. Konnan ends up getting Kendall with a super sloppy inside cradle following a Rey dropkick, which is at least somewhat excusable seeing as The Rednecks technically cheated first with the Armstrong elimination.

Kendall Windham Eliminated by Konnan (1) – Inside Cradle

So Big Bazza and Crafty Curt are outnumbered against the faces here, whilst Kendall gets attacked outside the ring by Chase and 4×4 again, even though there’s no reason for them to do so. The NLS are some of the worst babyfaces I’ve ever seen. Konnan gets worked over again for a bit and then brawls out to the floor with Barry, leading to them both getting counted out. However, part of the reason Barry can’t get back in is because Chase fireman carries him to the back, which is frankly outrageous and yet another example of the referees being forced to allow something that should be an instant DQ. Konnan also shows himself to be a moron as well as a terrible babyface by leaving with Chase when he has a perfect opening to get back in the ring to break the count!

Barry Windham and Konnan both counted out

Hennig is now all on his own against the two remaining soldiers, so he decides he’s going to be all Honky Tonk Man from 1987 and walk out, only for 4×4 to prevent him from leaving. I can totally see how if Hennig had mega heat as a heel and this match/feud hadn’t been booked completely backwards, then having the big babyface heavy flinging him back in so that he could get defeated properly would be a cool moment that would enrich the match, but it just looks mean spirited here, especially as both Chase and 4×4 have been interfering like nuts all match anyway. It just makes the faces look like bullies and cowards, which is just mystifying to me. Anyway, Hennig bravely gives it a go but he’s outnumbered and he’s eventually pinned. The finish is at least cool as Rey jumps off Swoll’s shoulders with a splash for the pin.

Curt Hennig Eliminated by Rey Mysterio Jr (1) – Splash from Swoll’s shoulders

SURVIVORS: REY MYSTERIO JR & SWOLL
MOST ELIMINATIONS: CURT HENNIG, SWOLL, REY MYSTERIO JR, KONNAN (1)
RATING: *1/2

This one started out like it had promise, but it was sloppier than a Sloppy Joe that’s turned it’s underpants inside-out so it can get another days use out of them and the story being told in it was awful as it actually made you sympathise with the supposed heels

Tony and Bobby hype up the next match, with Bobby trying to regale Tony with a story of how his date beat him up at drive-in movie once, which legit cracks Tony up as you can tell he didn’t know it was coming.

Oh wait, hang on, I know what to do here

Did I get it right? I’m not sure what the YOOTH are into these days but I try my best.

Anyway, we get a video package to hype the upcoming match. Basically, Ric Flair banned hardcore matches from WCW events, so Hardcore Hak (The Sandman) invited them all to a junkyard for a hardcore match.

Match Five
Junkyard Invitational – Escape The Junkyard To Win
Featuring;
Fit Finlay, Ciclope, Jerry Flynn, Johnny Grunge, Hak, Horace Hogan, Brian Knobbs, Hugh Morrus, Jimmy Hart, La Parka, Lord Steven Regal, Rocco Rock, Silver King, David Taylor and Mikey Whipwreck

This match is an absolute disaster, as they never give you an official list of combatants and the match itself is shot and lit terribly, making it hard to work out what is going on. The match itself is just aimless brawling, with no real story being told. Apparently a bunch of guys legitimately got injured in it too. La Parka wearing his mask over street clothes is funny at least, so I’ll give it that. I can somewhat appreciate what they were going for, as they seemingly wanted it to come across like some kind of a riot, complete with a helicopter shooting it with a spotlight from above, but the way they execute it just doesn’t work.

Seeing Regal of all people in this one is kind of trippy as, despite a parking lot brawl he had with Finlay in 96, this isn’t the sort of match style you’d expect to see him in. Of course if this were real then Regal would be one of the frontrunners when it came to potential winners. There’s a really bad spot where Ciclope is planning to do a dive on top of everyone from a car, but not everyone is ready so Hak has to literally call over to the others to get in position, which they politely do so that Ciclope can jump. As per usual the commentary team treats it mostly as comedy too, which was par for the course in WCW, with hardcore matches being presented as vaudevillian sideshows. I’m shocked they never went the whole hog and put a laughter track over it.

The car crusher does of course eventually make an appearance as they tease that Finlay is going to get squished, but he eventually manages to get himself to freedom just in time. The match comes down to being a war of attrition, with guys gradually taking one another out one by one. Surprisingly they don’t do many escape teases, with only really Rocco Rock and Horace doing one before brawling back into the junkyard. The finish is at least kind of clever, as Finlay knocks over a barrel to set up a wall of flames that prevents the other guys from getting to him, thus allowing him to climb the fence and escape.

WINNER: FIT FINLAY
LOSERS: THE REST OF HUMANITY
RATING: DUD

This match is infamous for being absolutely honking and I’m sad to say that it deserves that reputation. It’s a potentially interesting idea that just didn’t come together in execution and led to some genuine real life injuries, along with all the financial costs of hiring the junkyard and helicopter. Basically the costs of producing the match outweighed the meagre positives it provided and it remains a monument to WCW’s decline

Finlay was the unofficial Hardcore Champ following this but they would eventually bring in an actual belt before the years end, which did allow Norman Smiley to reinvent himself as the cowardly Hardcore Champ, becoming a genuine star in the process.

We get a video package to hype the next match. Diamond Dallas Page formed the Jersey Triad with fellow New Jerseyites Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Kanyon. They quickly won the tag belts from Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn and then spent months clobbering them in a slew of rematches. Seeing as they are buddies with Flair and Piper, they’ve been given permission to defend the belts Freebird Style, with all three guys actually being allowed to switch during matches.

Match Six
Three on Two Handicap Match
WCW Tag Team Titles
Champs: The Jersey Triad Vs Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn

I generally have a lot of time for DDP, and enjoy his 97 and 98 stuff especially, but this heel run in 99 was exhausting as he and his buddies ran roughshod over the tag division during a period when it had been really good with teams like Benoit/Malenko, Saturn/Raven and Kidman/Mysterio having great matches. Once The Triad got the belts it all came about HEAT and the division suffered as consequence. Both teams are hit with the music dubbing here, as Dave Grohl’s previously mentioned cry arsing means they have to dub out “Self High Five” these days, whilst Saturn’s “Life’s A Drag” theme sounds a bit like “Beautiful People”, so that needs to be dubbed out as well. Strangely I don’t think they edit out the real version of that song on old Smackdown episodes though.

It should shock no one that this is by far the best match on the show, as all five wrestlers in it can go and the heels sell a lot for the faces so as to make them look like a threat. Kanyon in particular gets an absolute kicking during the babyface shine and sells it fantastically; bumping all over the place and getting his body twisted in all kinds of unpleasant directions at the hands of Benoit’s punishing submission holds. Saturn eventually gets lured outside of the ring though; where the numbers become too much and he gets cut off for the heat segment. He sells that well and the heels show good chemistry as they work him over.

There appears to be a fight in the crowd at one stage, as they settle down into a hold in the ring and the camera makes sure to go in tight. I have not time for idiots who go to wrestling events to start a fight, that sort of thing should be reserved for away trips to Millwall and the ballet only! Saturn manages to catch Kanyon with a suplex and makes the tag to Benoit, who gets a quick flurry before getting cut off for the second heat, as it looks like they’re going for the old school tag formula. DDP does hilariously fall to the floor whilst taunting the crowd at one stage, which causes them all to laugh at him. Someone send a clip of that to Maffew ASAP, I need to see it with the music from the first level of Bonanza Bros. playing over it!

My only complaint with this match is that it perhaps goes on for a bit too long at 20+ minutes, but the wrestling is really good for the most part and it’s a good example of guys working and working until they get the crowd to bite. The crowd was almost zombie-like when they first came out after sitting through that junkyard match, but as the match goes on they get progressively more into the action, although some idiots still decide they’d rather fight each other rather than watch the wrestling. Normally I’d be more aggravated, but this show has sucked for the most part so it’d almost be churlish of me to chastise them for creating their own entertainment. Still though, don’t fight people at a wrestling show for goodness sake!

Saturn eventually gets the hot tag proper and runs wild on the heels, looking really good in the process, and things break down into everyone going at it. The action gets really good in the finishing stretch, with lots of good near falls that the crowd bites on more than once. The heels of course cheat by throwing powder, but DDP gets blinded too and ends up Diamond Cutting Kanyon, which gives Benoit two when Bammer puts Kanyon’s foot on the ropes. These near falls have been hot sauce and the crowd is INTO this match now. Eventually the ref gets bumped and that leads to DDP hitting Saturn with a metal object of some kind and then getting a modified version of the 3-D to pick up the pin.

WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: THE JERSEY TRIAD
RATING: ***1/4

Went a bit too long in the heat, but the ending stretch was superb and it’s easily the match of the night. The crowd really wanted Benoit/Saturn to win and they probably could have switched the belts here without hurting the Champs what with all the chicanery, but the eventual plan was for the reunited Harlem Heat to win them instead, which was a solid choice

We get a video package to hype the next match. Buff Bagwell was friendly with a still babyface Piper, but Piper turned on him to join Flair’s side at Great American Bash. Mills Lane has been brought in to referee the match.

Semi-Main
“Boxing Match”
Guest Referee: Judge Mills Lane
Rowdy Roddy Piper w/ Ric Flair Vs Buff Bagwell w/ Judy Bagwell

Lane was a boxing referee who famously refereed the Mike Tyson Vs Evander Holyfield match where Tyson chomped on Holyfield’s ear for a DQ loss. He was also the referee on Celebrity Deathmatch and had his own television show in the vein of Judge Judy, or Judge Rinder if you live in the UK. Buff was someone they were really trying to push at the time, but his character was always better suited to being an arrogant heel and it just never clicked for him as a babyface. Bringing his mum down to the ring to be his corner-person certainly didn’t help with attaining him cool points during the unflinchingly cynical late 90’s either.

This is the usual tripe that most worked boxing matches become, as most people will have seen at least one legitimate boxing match so it becomes painfully obvious how fake everything is. Piper puts some sort of liquid or ointment on his gloves at one stage, which leads to him blinding Bagwell and dominating for a bit. Judy ends up getting involved by biting Piper on the ear, seeing as the match just HAD to have a Tyson/Holyfield II reference in it, and Bagwell then punches Flair and gets the Buff Blockbuster on Piper for a three count(?!?!) from Lane, which counts for some reason.

WINNER: BUFF BAGWELL
RATING: DUD

This was abysmal. The boxing section was lame enough, but the fact they ended a boxing match with a pin fall was just utterly baffling. Why not just do a normal match with Lane as the ref if you were just going to end it with a pin anyway?

Ric Flair, ever dedicated to being a heel, actually runs away from Judy following the match. He did his best to provide some entertainment, but very little was going to save this.

We get a video package to hype up the next match.

Main Event
If Nash gets pinned then he loses the Title
WCW Champion Kevin Nash and Sting Vs Randy Savage and Sid w/ Gorgeous George, Miss Madness and Madusa

Sid had returned to WCW the previous month to assist Savage in a beat down of Nash, which had led to Nash forming a tenuous alliance with Sting. However, a fake Sting attacked Nash on an episode of Nitro which led to Nash thinking the real Sting was up to no good, so this match was made with Nash himself requesting the stipulation so he could find out whether Sting was trustworthy or not. There was also a subplot of Nash kidnapping George for 72 hours, which led to now the infamous moment where Savage slapped a corpsing Torrie live on television, in a moment that Maffew has immortalised forevermore. George shows up with a black eye here, with the implication that Savage has blamed her for her ordeal and given her a knuckle sandwich as a result, which was pretty tasteless even for this trashier period of wrestling.

George decides to go over to Nash’s corner before the match officially starts, which serves only to agitate Savage’s onions and distracts him so that Sting can lay a whupping on him. Sid comes in following that and clubs away at Sting with his usual dazzling display of hokey offence, including some terrible punches. Sid had been on national television for over a decade by this stage too, so to be this awful with that amount of experience is almost impressive in a sick kind of way. Madusa and Madness get involved when the opportunity presents itself, as Sting gets worked over. Nash actually hasn’t even officially been in the match yet, as Sid outright steals the Steiner Recliner to use as a rest hold. I bet Scott Steiner loved that.

Sting makes his own comeback and tags in Nash, who runs wild on the heels, delivering a pretty lousy side slam to Sid because the big man sandbags him on it. Seriously, you have to TRY to go up heavy on a side slam, you don’t even have to jump that much for it! Sting tags back in and fights with Savage outside the ring, but stupidly goes for a Stinger Splash onto the railing and misses, leading to him taking a second heat segment. So yeah, they’re doing a double heat on the SAME person. That’s all kinds of awful. Eventually Sting and Sid bonk heads, which leads to Sting falling head first into the Eudy’s before making the tag.

Nash comes in as things break down, leading to both Madness and Madusa coming into the ring. This doesn’t result in a DQ for whatever reason, so Sting batters both of the women instead before going nuts with Stinger Splashes. Sting and Sid end up heading to the floor and distracting the ref, which leads to George coming in to hit Nash right in his Jack Knife. Oh yes, it was all a SWERVE. However, George does such a horrible job of delivering the low blow the first time around that Nash doesn’t even register it, so she has to do it again. Savage heads up for the elbow drop and Sid keeps Sting at bay so that Savage can win the World Title.

WINNERS: SAVAGE & SID (SAVAGE WINS THE WCW TITLE)
RATING: ½*

Sting was the only one who was seemingly trying to have a good match and he wasn’t capable of carrying the other three men on his own. The finish was an absolute mess too. Savage lifts the old Elizabeth victory pose by carrying George on his shoulders whilst she holds the belt. His reign would last all of a day as Hollywood Hogan would beat him the next night on Nitro and he would then move on to a feud with Dennis Rodman of all people.

Savage celebrates to send us home.

Is It Really A Stinker?

Not only is it a Stinker, it’s one of the worst events WCW put on in 1999, and that’s covering A LOT of ground. The under card was mostly horrible and the Main Events were awful to boot. The opener was passable and the WCW Tag Title match was good. Outside of that it was DUD-City and not even in a “so bad it becomes perversely entertaining” way either. It was just bad and even my youthful nostalgia couldn’t rescue it. Never let it be said that WCW didn’t die for a reason!

Final Rating – STINKER

These are currently the shows in the hat for May’s reader request Stinker Review. If you’d like to add a show of your own then please mention it in the comments. I’ll be revealing the lucky “winner” in April’s Stinker Review.

Grand Masters of Wrestling requested by Chael Sonnen’s Coke Dealer

WWF Rock Bottom requested by Bones

LPWA Super Ladies Showdown 92 requested by Stampeder

WWE Great American Bash 2004 requested by Sivsky

WWF WrestleMania IX by JLAJRC

WWE Breaking Point requested by greaterpower99