Dave Brown and Corey Maclin are calling today’s action from the WMC-TV5 studio in Memphis, Tennessee.
Bob Armstrong comes out with Downtown Bruno, who is in a wheelchair and wearing a cervical collar. Before Armstrong says anything important the show cuts to commercial.
Opening Contest: Jesse James Armstrong, Tracy Smothers & Tex Slazenger beat T.D. Steel, Ripley Prim & Tony Myers when Slazenger pins Prim with an inverted DDT at 2:11:
Myers was a New Jersey talent that worked as a jobber for the USWA in the late 1990s. Steel has changed his attire, wearing white trunks instead of a blue singlet. The most notable part of the squash is Armstrong leaving the apron to do commentary because his team does not need him, only to run back into the match when Myers traps Smothers in a fluke sunset flip for one.
A video package hypes USWA Unified World Champion Ahmed Johnson.
Brown talks with Bob Armstrong, who promises to give referee Bill Rush a wrestling lesson today. Armstrong says that PG-13’s attack on Downtown Bruno in Memphis was terrible and he calls out Randy Hales. After Hales comes out, Armstrong has the Smoky Mountain Massacre make an appearance. The Massacre is no longer wearing his mask for whatever reason. Armstrong announces that Hales will face the Massacre in a stretcher match at the Mid-South Coliseum.
Handicap Match: The Smoky Mountain Massacre beats Edric Hines & A Masked Jobber when he pins them both after a splash at 1:05:
Matches like this is what the Massacre needed to get over in his first few weeks in the territory rather than losing tag team matches against PG-13. The jobbers fail to knock the Massacre off his feet with a double clothesline and quickly succumb to a big fat splash.
After the match, Armstrong tells Hales that he can get out of the stretcher match if he signs over the USWA to him. Hales says he cannot and will not do that and then runs away.
PG-13 (48-21-3) beat the Yellow Jacket & the Scorpion when J.C. Ice pins the Scorpion after Wolfie D tilt-a-whirl slams him onto the Scorpion at 3:58:
The Jacket’s never-ending quest to beat PG-13 continues on today’s show and goes as well as previous efforts, with the Jacket betrayed by a partner that cannot keep up. However, the Scorpion does get to kick out of a lot of PG-13’s offense – possibly reflecting the fact that he weighs more than Wolfie D and Ice combined – on the road to defeat.
Brown interviews PG-13 and Wolfie D talks about how it was nice to brutalize Downtown Bruno. Ice hypes a no disqualification match PG-13 are having with USWA Tag Team Champions Jesse James Armstrong and Tracy Smothers in Memphis, promising fans that PG-13 will regain the titles. Bob Armstrong interrupts and tries to fire PG-13, but Randy Hales countermands that decision because he was not consulted.
Brown talks with Armstrong, who repeats his earlier promise to put on a wrestling clinic against Bill Rush.
Bob Armstrong (2-1) defeats Bill Rush (0-1) via submission when Randy Hales throws in the towel at 2:40:
Rush acquits himself well after attacking the more experienced Armstrong before the bell, but referee Gene Johnson betrays the USWA for SMW, grabbing Rush so Armstrong can seize the advantage. Armstrong traps Rush in a figure-four leg lock but Johnson will not call for the bell until Hales runs out and tosses in the towel.
After the bout, Armstrong still refuses to break the figure-four, so Hales gets in the ring and decks Johnson. He then tries to attack Armstrong, but the Smoky Mountain Massacre stops him and leg drops him. PG-13 try to make the save, running in and hitting the Massacre with a hubcap but Jesse James Armstrong and Tracy Smothers thwart them. The segment ends with Smothers powerbombing Wolfie D through a table.
Brown interviews Richard Lee, who says that Moondog Cujo is on vacation, something that is really out of keeping with Cujo’s character. Lee claims that Brian Christopher has been avoiding him, but he changes his tune when Christopher confronts him. Christopher says that if Cujo is not at today’s television show then he will wrestle Lee instead.
Brian Christopher (43-18-6) wrestles Richard Lee to a no-contest:
As Christopher rolls Lee into the ring and commences pounding him down, a split screen promo airs where he rants about Tex Slazenger taking his USWA Southern Heavyweight Championship. Despite his antics in the previous match, Gene Johnson is refereeing this one and, as expected, he intervenes when Christopher has Lee dead to rights after a superkick. Christopher is having none of this, so he decks Johnson and that cues Slazenger to run in and nail Christopher with a cowbell. Eventually, Christopher rallies and the heels flee.
After showing PG-13’s altercation with Jesse James Armstrong and Tracy Smothers earlier in the show, Brown talks with Christopher. Christopher is in possession of Slazenger’s cowbell and he dares him to come out and get it. Slazenger complies and the two brawl back and forth, with each man hitting the other with the cowbell. Christopher Walken probably gave this segment five stars.
The Last Word: The problem with putting all of the big heels into the opener is that the show had to pad the rest of the broadcast with nonsense matches. The brawl between PG-13 and Jesse James Armstrong and Tracy Smothers was good but the rest of the show was easy to write off. And the Tex Slazenger feud is easily Christopher’s worst of the year.
Attendance remained flat the Mid-South Coliseum on December 11, with 450 fans attending the following card. Results were provided courtesy of prowrestlinghistory.com:
-The Smoky Mountain Massacre (2-0) beat Randy Hales (2-2) in a stretcher match
-Moondog Cujo (6-2-1) wrestled Doug Gilbert (25-14-4) to a double count out
-Brian Christopher (43-18-7) beat USWA Southern Heavyweight Champion Tex Slazenger (4-2) in a non-title, bullrope match
-Jerry Jarrett & Frank Morrell defeated Bob Armstrong & Gene Johnson when Morrell pinned Johnson
-USWA Tag Team Champions Jesse James Armstrong & Tracy Smothers (5-0) beat PG-13 (49-21-3) in a no disqualification match
-Jesse James Armstrong won a battle royal to earn a USWA Unified World Championship match in the main event.
-USWA Unified World Champion Ahmed Johnson (2-1) beat Jesse James Armstrong (8-8) via disqualification
Backstage News*: Now that Smoky Mountain Wrestling has shut down, the USWA is trying to get its television slots in Knoxville, Tennessee and Hazard, Kentucky. The problem, though, is that the USWA does not want to pay what Cornette was for the time slots. There is also discussion of making Knoxville part of the weekly loop to replace Evansville on Wednesday nights.
*The reason there have been more weapons spots, like Tracy Smothers putting Wolfie D through a table on USWA Championship Wrestling, is because the USWA hopes the hardcore style might bring more fans back to the product.
*Backstage news is provided courtesy of Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer for December 18.
Up Next: USWA Championship Wrestling for December 16!