Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2005
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for tomorrow’s Taboo Tuesday and I’m not sure sure what that is going to mean. The show isn’t looking too bad but it’s just weird to hear them talking about a pay per view taking place tomorrow. This is probably going to be all about getting people to vote for the matches that WWE wants to take place. Let’s get to it.
Coach is dressed as Steve Austin and King is….well a king actually.
Here are Eric Bischoff and Chris Masters with a Masterlock Challenge for a special Smackdown star. That would be Rey Mysterio, who is here with Teddy Long. Hold on though, as Masters puts Rey on the chair because you have to be that tall to take the Masterlock Challenge. Rey hits him in the face so the fight is on, drawing out some wrestlers from both shows for a brawl. Smackdown clears the ring and Teddy promises to embarrass Raw at Taboo Tuesday.
Post break, Bischoff yells about how Edge and Masters cannot lose tomorrow.
Kurt Angle vs. Tajiri
Angle throws him down with ease to start and hits a hard clothesline for an early two. The overhead belly to belly sends Tajiri flying again and we hit the bodyscissors. Tajiri forearms his way to freedom so Angle pounds some discipline into him in the corner. They slug it out until Tajiri hits the handspring elbow but the Tarantula is countered into the ankle lock for the quick tap.
Rating: D+. Just a step above a squash here and that’s fine for what they had. They didn’t bother with anything more than Tajiri getting in a few strikes before falling to Angle in the end. That’s a good idea with Angle already in the World Title match tomorrow, as they didn’t do anything they shouldn’t have.
Post match Angle says he’s winning the title tomorrow because he’s beaten Cena twice already. We see a clip of the fake tap out from last week, which draws out Cena to chase Kurt off in a hurry.
Long video on HHH vs. Ric Flair, setting up their big showdown tomorrow.
Flair comes out and says he’s tired of kissing HHH’s a** so it’s time to kick it. Please, put them in a cage.
Rob Conway vs. Eugene
This is due to Conway beating Koko B. Ware the previous night and Eugene is not cool with that. Eugene jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner, only to get knocked back down. This time it’s Conway pounding him down in the corner but Eugene Hulks Up and wins a slugout. A Rock Bottom gives Eugene two but Conway grabs a chair to blast Eugene for the DQ.
Rating: D. Eugene is one of the best cases of someone just falling apart in this era. He has gone from lovable to nothing in not much time and now it’s just sad. Eugene barely has a character at the moment and while him defending legends is a step back towards where they were with him before, he would be better off with having some big reboot, probably including a few months away from TV.
Post match the beating is on until Jim Duggan, Kamala and Jimmy Snuka of all people make the save. Lawler talks about Burger King being about having it his way, so tonight he’s having it his way and goes to the ring with them. The beatdown is on and it’s a Superfly Splash into the middle rope fist drop so the legends can stand tall. It’s been done before, and it probably sets up a legends match tomorrow so….cool?
Todd Grisham, as Cubs announcer Harry Caray, talks to Gregory Helms, but calls him the Hurricane. Helms walks away so here’s Mick Foley, who has a surprise for Carlito. Foley: “Nice church lady.”
Here’s Carlito in the ring to say that he doesn’t know which Face of Foley he’s facing at Taboo Tuesday but the only face you need to know is his. Cue Dude Love on the screen to say that he doesn’t have any mercy for Carlito. Love morphs into Cactus Jack, who can’t guarantee what kind of pain he’ll give Carlito tomorrow night. It could be barbed wire or thumbtacks, but Carlito will be in pain. Finally it’s Mankind, who rhymes about a cotton taco named Mr. Socko.
Carlito is annoyed but Coach says he’s tired of waiting and calls out Steve Austin. Before we get to that though, here is the man in Coach’s corner: Goldust, for your surprise guest stars. Coach calls Austin out again but gets Vince McMahon instead. Vince says that Austin was in an accident over the weekend (Read as Coachman was going over and Austin realized that it was stupid and bailed. Again.) so he won’t be wrestling at Taboo Tuesday. Therefore, we have a replacement on hand: Funaki, so we can have a battle of the #1 announcers.
Funaki comes down and gets beaten down in short order, but that’s not good enough for Coach. He wants any Smackdown star, so here’s Batista to accept instead. Goldust hammers him down for a bit but Vader of all people comes out to drop Batista as Coach can apparently get some 90s stars at the drop of a hat. It’s certainly a unique pairing (who had a heck of a match at a Clash of the Champions too) and they had to have someone big to replace Austin, so Batista makes the most sense.
Video on the Australia tour.
HHH vs. Viscera
HHH crotches him on the way in and wins with a Pedigree in thirty seconds.
Post match HHH hits him in the head with the steps and grabs the mic. HHH says Flair knows all the bad things HHH has done. He’s responsible for all of his actions, but he won’t be responsible for what happens to Flair tomorrow night. This is who he is and it’s who Flair used to be.
Taboo Tuesday rundown. I’ve seen worse.
Cena wants to hear Todd Grisham as Harry Caray because Grisham isn’t interesting. Grisham asks if Cena would eat Angle if he was a taco with all the toppings. Cena: “That…was sad.” Anyway, Cena is willing to face Shawn Michaels tonight because Shawn wants to get into the title match tomorrow night. That’s fine with him because the champ is here and at Taboo Tuesday, the championship stays here.
Heart Throbs vs. Big Show/Kane
Texas Tornado rules and the Heart Throbs are Batman and, uh, Batman. The beatdown is on in a hurry with chops and tosses onto the top turnbuckle. Running shots in the corner continue the power contest between the monsters and Show superplexes Romeo. The top rope clothesline hits Antonio and stereo are good for the pin. And yes, we are still supposed to believe that Big Show and Kane are being treated as equal options for Cena’s challengers while Shawn faces Cena tonight.
Lawler gets to emcee a Divas Halloween costume contest. Ashley is a dark angel, Maria is a regular angel (Lawler: “I would love to get inside those pearly gates.”), Candice is Catwoman, Mickie is Trish Stratus (Lawler is confused), Victoria is a baseball player and Trish is Wonder Woman (that’s a requirement), with Mickie posing next to her, much to Trish’s annoyance.
Lawler asks Mickie, who sees nothing wrong with this. Mickie gets annoyed that people aren’t cheering for Trish (who Lawler hasn’t gotten to yet) and the brawl is on with Candice getting beaten up. Victoria sends Mickie outside so Trish kicks her in the face. This was every Halloween costume contest but with obsessed Mickie included.
John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
Non-title. They slug it out to start with Cena getting the better of things so Shawn goes to a hammerlock instead. A shoulder into a headlock takeover puts Cena down for a bit and his comeback attempt gets the same treatment. Back up and Cena punches him down but it’s way too early for the FU.
Instead Shawn bails to the floor for a breather and gets back in to chop Cena into the corner. A neckbreaker gets two so Shawn grabs a sleeper to keep Cena in trouble. That’s broken up with straight power and Cena hits his clotheslines, followed by the ProtoBomb. Shawn gets out of the FU again and nails his own clotheslines. The top rope elbow misses though, leaving them both down. Cue Angle to jump Shawn for the DQ.
Rating: C+. These two always work well together and this was the first of many matches between them. It wasn’t long enough to get the full treatment though and Cena wasn’t up to the level to really hang with Shawn yet. What we got was good, but they were smart to not have either of them win. There’s no hiding the fact that Shawn is the third man in the triple threat so save the fall for tomorrow.
Post match Cena decks Angle and loads up the FU, only to walk into Sweet Chin Music. Shawn holds up the title to end the show. That’s the closest we’ve been to heel Shawn since Summerslam.
Overall Rating: D+. This one depends on how you look at it. Yes they did a nice job of advancing the Taboo Tuesday card (albeit a ham fisted job of setting up the card that they want) but my goodness the wrestling was terrible until the main event. Some of the other stuff was just weak though and while that wasn’t the focus, you need something better than just one nine minute main event to be decent.
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