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WrestleMania Goes Hollywood

By Scott Keith on 6 April 2018


How about this for WrestleMania…

John Cena comes out to try and summon the Undertaker one last time. He still doesn’t show, so instead Cena is interrupted by The Rock and Batista. They both mention the critical success of Blockers and plug Rampage and Avengers: Infinity War. They tell Cena he’s one of them now, as three of them form a new nWo Hollywood and leave wrestling forever to bathe in their massive piles of movie money.

Epilogue: After kicking out of twelve F-5’s and winning the Universal Title, Roman Reigns vows to stay in WWE forever because HE AIN’T NO PART TIMER, PAL! (Or, sufferin’ succotash, he just doesn’t have the chops to transition to Hollywood.) Fans threaten to cancel WWE Network subscriptions but re-subscribe in time for Reigns to headline WrestleMania 35 against… Oh, I don’t know… Let’s say Moe.


This wonderful bit of fantasy booking leads me into a discussion of Blockers, which I saw on Thursday night and I thought was HILARIOUS. John Cena is one funny guy and the movie was very Apatow-esque. I hope John gets more big roles like this one.

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